Zhenzhen suppressed a smile, entered, and bowed to Shen Han, saying, "Councilor Shen, Hening Gate is about to open. Please wait outside."
Shen Han immediately strode toward the area where the officials were lined up and waiting. Zhenzhen watched him go, then entered the hall a moment later to inspect. She noticed that the hu tablet Shen Han had slapped on the table earlier was still there, so she quickly picked it up and hurried out to catch up with him.
By then, Hening Gate was slowly opening, and the queue of court officials began to extend inside. Shen Han was among the leading ministers at the front of the procession. Blocked by the crowd, Zhenzhen couldn’t get close to the ministers, so she stood on tiptoe and called out loudly, "Councilor Shen..."
She called several times in succession. Shen Han heard her but had no intention of responding. With a cold expression, he held his head high arrogantly, walked with steady, measured steps, and entered the palace city without even glancing sideways.
Zhenzhen looked at the hu tablet still in her hand and sighed toward Shen Han’s back as he disappeared into the sea of people. "Alright then, it’s your own choice to leave it behind."
That day in the Chuigong Hall, Shen Han brought up the matter of abolishing the food service at the waiting hall. Having enjoyed the delicacies there for so long, the officials had grown quite accustomed to them, and several immediately voiced opposition to Shen Han’s proposal, explicitly expressing their hope that the breakfast service would continue. Hearing this, Shen Han grew even angrier. He elaborated on his views at length from the perspectives of etiquette, regulations, and history, insisting that the Emperor accept his advice. When mentioning relevant historical anecdotes, he stumbled over some details he couldn’t recall. Shen Han then reached toward his waist, intending to take out his hu tablet to check the notes he had made earlier. To his surprise, he found the spot where the tablet should have been inserted empty. He froze for a moment, then carefully felt around his waist with both hands but still couldn’t find it. In his urgency, he felt something hanging in his sleeve, so he reached inside again. This time, he grasped a long, slender object and felt slightly relieved. He immediately pulled it out, held it with both hands, and faced the Emperor, ready to speak eloquently...
His eyes widened almost to the size of bronze bells—what now stood squarely in his line of sight was not the hu tablet but a piece of Guanghan cake, and it was the very piece missing a corner.
"This... this is..." The Emperor on the throne stared intently, as if understanding something, and couldn’t help but break into a smile.
Seeing the Emperor laugh, the officials no longer held back. The hall quickly erupted into waves of continuous, unending laughter.
"How could Councilor Shen be holding a pastry from the waiting hall? And does that Guanghan cake seem to have bite marks?" Zeng Jie was the first to question, then deliberately frowned and shook his head. "No, no, Councilor Shen has always detested the food at the waiting hall. He would never secretly take a bite behind everyone’s back. It must be that I slept in the wrong position last night and am still dreaming."
"No, no, in my humble opinion, Councilor Shen does not hate the food at the waiting hall at all. On the contrary, he loves it more than any of us," Ji Jinglan said seriously to Zeng Jie. "Look, Councilor Shen is now demonstrating to us what it means to be unable to put something down."
Shen Han could neither throw away the Guanghan cake nor hide it, so he had to keep holding it in his hands. Hearing Ji Jinglan’s words and deliberately observing Shen Han’s embarrassment, the assembled officials couldn’t help but burst into another round of laughter.Ji Jinglan cheerfully strolled over to Shen Han and said, "This humble official understands Vice Minister Shen's thoughts. It's simply that the pastries from the Morning Assembly Hall are too delicious. The Vice Minister wished to indulge heartily but feared being seen and losing dignity, so he hid them in his sleeve to savor slowly at home... Both of us are lovers of fine food, I understand, I understand!" After speaking, he turned and bowed deeply to the Emperor. "Your Majesty cherishes your ministers and shows compassion to the chief councilors. I hope Your Majesty will specially grant Vice Minister Shen a food box in the future, dedicated to carrying Morning Assembly Hall pastries home, so he doesn't have to stuff them in his sleeve each time. There are always crumbs scattered inside and outside the sleeve—neither clean nor elegant. How can the always dignified Vice Minister Shen endure this?"
Many struggled to suppress laughter as they deliberately bowed deeply. "We concur."
"Let the ministers' jests end here, say no more," the Emperor raised a hand to press down, signaling the ministers still mocking Shen Han to quiet. Then he turned to Shen Han and said with a gentle smile, "But since the Vice Minister himself eats Morning Assembly Hall food, why oppose it?"
Shen Han did not respond to the ministers' ridicule with a single word, but upon returning home, he immediately wrote nearly a thousand words in a flowing script, submitting a memorial to The Emperor requesting retirement. The Emperor was quite surprised and personally replied with comforting words. Shen Han submitted another memorial, claiming old age, physical decline, and illness, hoping to retire to his hometown and live out his years in peace.
This time, the Emperor did not reply directly but privately invited Shen Han into the palace, to the Jiaming Hall, to dine together.
"Today's imperial meal is different from usual—not made by the imperial chefs, but purchased from outside the palace by Pei Shangshi at my request," the Emperor introduced to Shen Han. "Look—Granny Li's mixed vegetable soup, He Si's cheese noodles, Zang San's pork pancreas flatbread, the Ge family's sweets... all made by old Bianjing hands. When the late Emperor ordered market food, he loved these dishes most and once invited us to eat together. Does the Vice Minister remember?"
Shen Han bowed slightly. "The Emperor's grace is vast, this subject dares not forget."
The Emperor sighed. "The late Emperor missed Bianjing and cherished old ministers and friends. He often taught me to respect my teachers and stay close to virtuous ministers, especially Master Shen, who has assisted me since my youth. Now, the four barbarians are not yet subdued, warfare has not ceased, and there are occasionally power-abusing villains in the country. The ministers I fully trust are few; Master is undoubtedly one of them. Facing such internal worries and external threats, could Master bear to abandon his sovereign and country and retire like this?"
Shen Han, moved to sadness, said, "As long as Your Majesty needs this subject to serve the country with loyalty, this subject will go through fire and water, even if it means death ten thousand times. It is merely that seeing the court full of outstanding talents, each high-spirited and vigorous, while this subject is aged and declining—my thoughts and ideas may not meet the needs of the times. It is time to yield to the worthy, so I dare not remain unworthily in a high position."
"What is out of step with the times are those inappropriate jokes, not Master's thoughts. Master should treat them as wind passing by the ear, no need to take them to heart," the Emperor said, raising his cup to urge drinking. He drank several cups with Shen Han, offering comfort from time to time. Finally, Shen Han's mood gradually improved, and he no longer mentioned retirement.
After the meal, Shen Han took his leave. Seeing that he had enjoyed the common market foods and eaten quite a bit, the Emperor had Pei Shangshi pack the leftovers in a food box for him to take back. Pei Shangshi bowed slightly. "This humble one understands. Several portions of these market foods were purchased at the time; one portion has already been wrapped and awaits Vice Minister Shen to take."
The Emperor praised, "Pei Shangshi is still the most considerate, more thorough than I thought."Pei Shangshi smiled slightly. "I know that Councilor Shen never explicitly states what he wants, only hints, leaving others to guess. Why trouble The Emperor with such trivial matters? I took the liberty of arranging it for Councilor Shen in advance."
Shen Han's recently improved mood was once again ruined by her words. In the end, he refused to accept the Emperor's reward and left empty-handed, flicking his sleeves in displeasure.
The Emperor also sensed something amiss and privately summoned Zhenzhen to inquire in detail about Pei Shangshi's longstanding views on Shen Han. Zhenzhen truthfully informed him, and the Emperor sighed, "I know they have harbored animosity toward each other for many years, but I never understood why... It's a pity that my efforts today to retain Councilor Shen were almost completely undone by Pei Shangshi's few words."
Zhenzhen said, "I think Councilor Shen is too rigid and stubborn. Last time, Vice Minister Zeng merely sang half a beautiful lyric in the Waiting Hall, and Councilor Shen scolded him, saying Vice Minister Zeng was singing decadent music. It's no wonder Pei Shangshi disapproves of him and often can't help but mock him."
"Oh? What lyric did Vice Minister Zeng sing?" the Emperor asked.
Zhenzhen thought carefully and replied, "It was said to be a lyric by Hanlin academician Sun Zhu. I only remember the first line: 'Gazing sorrowfully at life's fleeting scenes, the desolate lingering notes of the precious zither.'"
"'The desolate lingering notes of the precious zither'..." the Emperor repeated the line, lost in thought.
"I think the lyric is very well-written! Vice Minister Zeng also said it was elegant and graceful—how could it be considered decadent music?" Zhenzhen said indignantly. "Councilor Shen flew into a rage upon hearing it and even scolded those who tried to mediate. I was utterly baffled—why go to such extremes?"
With a knowing smile, the Emperor looked at Zhenzhen. "Do you know Pei Shangshi's maiden name?"
Zhenzhen shook her head in confusion.
"Baose," the Emperor said. "Her name is Pei Baose."
Ministers rarely had the opportunity to learn the maiden names of palace attendants. This discovery piqued the Emperor and Zhenzhen's keen interest in the possible past history between Shen Han and Pei Shangshi. However, neither of them could directly question Pei Shangshi about the hidden details, so the Emperor told Consort Li and asked her to find a way to inquire.
Consort Li later invited Pei Shangshi to her chamber, dismissed the idle attendants, and told her, "Last time, when Councilor Shen dined with The Emperor in the Jiaming Hall and heard your words, 'only hints, leaving others to guess,' he seemed both anxious and angry. After returning to his residence, he fell ill. The imperial physician examined him and reported to The Emperor that his condition is serious and unlikely to improve anytime soon."
Pei Shangshi remained silent for a long time before sighing deeply. "If anything happens to Councilor Shen, causing The Emperor to lose a pillar of the state, I am willing to atone with my death."
"There is no need for that, Shangshi. The Emperor does not blame you," Consort Li reassured her. "The Emperor can see that there seems to be a knot between you and Councilor Shen. If you trust me, you might tell me the whole story. The Emperor and I will see how we can resolve it."
Pei Shangshi lowered her head and said nothing. Consort Li sighed again. "Shangshi and Councilor Shen are no longer young. Let us not speak of all things turning to emptiness—whether they turn or not, we are merely in a great dream. At this age, even if there were grievances, what is there that cannot be let go?"Upon hearing these words, Pei Shangshi slowly raised her head, gazing at Consort Li. A glimmer of tears welled up in her usually calm eyes. "Yes, I hold resentment. This resentment has been buried in my heart for decades, with no way to vent it. Gradually, it seems to have turned into an inner demon. Every time I see him, that demon claws its way out, eager to escape. Every word and action of his seems wrong to me, and whenever I see or hear them, I can’t help but mock and ridicule. I try to control it, but I cannot. I despise myself for this. I’ve spent decades trying to forget those past events, yet I still don’t know how to let go of love, hatred, anger, and obsession, to view him with a calm heart."
Consort Li looked at Pei Shangshi with sympathy and softly voiced her guess, "Did the Director of Palace Food and Councilor Shen once have feelings for each other?"
Pei Shangshi lowered her eyes sadly and, after a moment, slowly replied, "To be precise, we were once engaged."
Consort Li was not particularly surprised and said calmly, "So he betrayed you."
Pei Shangshi nodded and added, "And he betrayed more than just me."
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