Zuo Si'an was momentarily stunned. "I have no concept of business and can't answer that question."
"I can tell you from personal experience that it definitely will. When I was young, I also faced a choice. Before meeting Gao Xiang's mother, I had a girlfriend. We were high school classmates, had been together for five years, and our feelings ran deep. If not for both our families being burdened with heavy responsibilities, we should have already been discussing marriage. Suddenly, I had two choices before me: one was to marry my girlfriend and grit my teeth through a life of poverty; the other choice was Gao Xiang's mother."
Zuo Si'an stared blankly at Gao Ming. Gao Xiang was already 27 years old, so she guessed he must be at least over 50, but he looked only in his early forties, still slender and graceful with refined speech, making it easy to imagine his youthful charm.
"Chen Zi Hui at that time was the only daughter of the wealthiest person in the county town—young, not bad-looking, and favoring me. Most people would have thought I'd hit the jackpot. But I couldn't bear to give up my girlfriend. Before I turned 25, I had never drunk coffee, eaten seafood, taken a plane, or even left the province. I got through university on financial aid and part-time jobs, and after graduation, my monthly salary barely covered supporting my family, with almost nothing left. All communication with my family revolved around money—that kind of hardship is something you can hardly imagine. My girlfriend's feelings for me were the only beautiful, the only thing worth being grateful for in my destitute life."
Gao Ming spoke in a calm voice, yet the emotion contained within it moved Zuo Si'an deeply.
"I declined the proposal from the chairman, who was Gao Xiang's grandfather. He was very magnanimous, telling me to keep working hard and that there would still be opportunities for promotion. By the end of the year, I did get promoted and a raise, but I was still an insignificant clerk in the company, years away from a middle-management position. My salary was still just enough to barely support my family. You can probably guess what happened next, right?"
Zuo Si'an felt a heavy sense of oppression inside. "So you still gave up your girlfriend in the end?"
"No, I couldn't bring myself to make that decision. During that time, I was consumed by nameless anger and anxiety, hating that I had to face such temptation. The one who took the initiative to end it was my girlfriend. She said she was willing to accept a life of poverty with me, but she couldn't bear the thought of me giving up a chance to change my fate for her, and she didn't want to face my regret and resentment in the future."
Zuo Si'an thought, yes, if it were her, faced with a hesitant boyfriend and a bleak future, she would probably have to take the initiative to leave as well.
Gao Ming seemed lost in thought for a moment, then said, "I didn't persist further, and I even felt a slight sense of relief all of a sudden, because I understood she was right. By choosing Gao Xiang's mother, I gained a lot, and I can't say I regret it. I have indeed wondered more than once what my life would have been like if I had chosen the other path. But I'm not a romantic person; even when my wife and I became estranged, I knew that if I had to do it over again, my final choice wouldn't be any different. For that, I will always be grateful for my girlfriend's decision."
Zuo Si'an looked up at Gao Ming. "You've said all this probably hoping that I'll take the initiative to give up Gao Xiang, just like your former girlfriend did, right?"Gao Ming smiled bitterly, "You are indeed a clever girl. You've seen right through my somewhat despicable thoughts. Of course, this isn't entirely the same as the situation you and Gao Xiang are facing. Gao Xiang is different from me. He was born into a wealthy family. No matter how much his grandfather and mother oppose his choices, they would never cut ties with him or strip him of everything. In fact, he has the right to reject what he was born with and indulge in the feelings he believes in. But I am his father, and he is my only son. I can't help but think more for him. What I'm about to say next is quite harsh, and I hope you won't mind."
Zuo Si'an gave a bleak smile. "No matter how harsh it is, I can only face it. Please go ahead."
"The Chen Family seized the opportunity during the rapid economic development and built a successful business. I've dedicated 20 years of my life to Clear Ridge Winery, and the company has even greater prospects ahead. Gao Xiang is my only son. The child he adopted is still young and frail, so it's only natural that he will inherit everything from the family. He has always had ambitious career goals and is fully capable of achieving great things. But if he stubbornly insists on being with you, it means he can never return to the domestic business world or appear publicly as the heir to Clear Ridge Winery. Otherwise, he will endlessly face public scrutiny over your identity. No one will care about your excellence, your character, or the qualities that make you worthy of Gao Xiang's love. They will only fixate on one thing: when you were very young, you were raped by Gao Xiang's uncle and gave birth to a child."
Zuo Si'an's face turned ashen. Gao Ming gestured for the waitress to refill his coffee and sighed softly. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me for speaking so bluntly about this matter. I respect your parents and like you very much. I am deeply sorry for what you've been through. If it weren't for that connection, I would be very happy to see Gao Xiang with you. But—"
But— Zuo Si'an thought despairingly, behind every seemingly beautiful thing, there is inevitably a "but." The "but" between her and Gao Xiang was especially rigid, irreversible, and impossible to change or shake.
"Gao Xiang loves you and is determined to give up everything to live with you in the United States. When one is young, the experience of emotions is bound to be intense. I have no doubt about the firmness of his resolve now, but let me share another insight I've gained over the years: feelings, as such, simply cannot withstand erosion."
Gao Ming's voice remained low and gentle, yet Zuo Si'an felt as if her eardrums had been struck hard. She stared blankly at Gao Ming, unable to utter a single word."When too many external factors intervene, it becomes even more impossible to maintain the initial state of purity. When your decision can permanently alter someone's fate, you must also bear the ensuing doubts and regrets—all of this requires exceptionally strong courage to shoulder. Not to mention you'll always have to face one enemy: Gao Ming's mother. Having lived with her for over 20 years, I don't intend to slander her. Her personality has a deeply paranoid and terrifying side, yet she is also an extremely direct and self-centered person. She harbors stubborn pride and loyalty toward her family, and her love for her younger brother reaches an irrational, even criminal, extent. In the matter of her brother's death, both you and I are sinners in her eyes, forever beyond redemption."
Zuo Si'an struggled to speak clearly: "I don't need her forgiveness at all."
"Si'an, you're truly too young and naive. I understand that, but have you considered how this places Gao Xiang in an extremely difficult position? He'll forever be caught in the middle—between you on one side, and his mother, his grandfather, and his son on the other. That child... even I can't bring myself to like him when I think of his father, but Gao Xiang loves him, caring for him as if he were his own biological son. Are you willing to face him in your future life?"
These were indeed words Yu Jia and Chen Zi Hui had separately spoken, but when delivered by Gao Ming at his measured pace, they carried a heavy, oppressive weight that nearly suffocated Zuo Si'an.
"What's the most commendable aspect of mustering courage to fight against fate? It's the near certainty that you ultimately won't win. Sometimes, being together with someone you love isn't the best choice. Persisting until you reach a dead end, waiting until feelings fade completely with no way back—the damage is too great. Someone has to let go first."
He set down his coffee cup and gazed intently at Zuo Si'an: "For the sake of both your futures, I hope you're the one who lets go first."
Zuo Si'an was plunged into profound pain and conflict. She had always harbored strong pessimistic premonitions about their future. But Gao Xiang had crossed oceans to find her, and she wanted to leave the initiative with him—as long as he didn't give up, she would persist; if he ever did abandon their relationship, she wouldn't hold resentment.
Yet now, Gao Ming was asking her to make the same choice his former girlfriend had made.
When Gao Xiang appeared in her dorm room, she looked into his eyes but couldn't force herself to speak those words. Unaware of her inner turmoil, Gao Xiang mistook her silence for anger over his delayed arrival in America. He repeatedly apologized, took her out for meals, inquired about her class schedule, and planned to make the most of their limited time together with varied activities.
"Tomorrow I'm meeting a friend—that postdoc in biology I mentioned. He's quite interesting, suddenly switched careers to investment and works near the World Trade Center. We're meeting there before heading to Wall Street to check out a project he's following."
"Hmm."
"You seem preoccupied."
"Not at all. You were saying Wall Street? The café where I work part-time is nearby too. I don't have morning classes tomorrow, so I'll be working there for four hours."
"Good. After my meeting, I'll bring my friend to your café for coffee.""Remember to leave a generous tip."
He laughed heartily: "I'm entirely yours, yet you're asking me for a tip. Should I just hand you my wallet right now?"
Her heart felt as if sliced by a thin, sharp blade, leaving wounds only she knew about. She could no longer maintain the facade of cheerfulness; her smile shattered as she gazed at him through tear-filled eyes. Saddened by her expression, he reached out to stroke her hair: "Ah, seeing you like this really worries me."
She seized his hand abruptly: "Let's get a hotel room."
He looked at her with slight astonishment. Though the thought had crossed his mind from the moment he saw her, he never expected to hear her say it so openly. Yet she was remarkably resolute: "I want to be with you."
Gao Xiang took Zuo Si'an to a nearby hotel and booked a room. Once inside, she immediately wrapped her arms tightly around him. He was delighted she had shed her initial aloofness and kissed her passionately while undoing her clothes. Having missed her for so long, he could hardly contain his excitement. He pressed her onto the bed, covering her with fervent kisses. She responded with even more initiative than before, but as he entered her, he finally noticed the profound sorrow in her eyes.
Propping himself up on his hands, he looked down at her. She turned her head away, refusing to meet his gaze.
"Did I hurt you?"
She shook her head, but he still paused: "Xiao An, this only matters when both people are happy. I don't want you forcing yourself to please me when you're clearly not enjoying it."
Tears instantly streamed down her face as she thought despairingly that after six months apart, facing a man burning with passion, she couldn't even fake pleasure - she lacked even the ability to pretend.
"Tell me, what's wrong?"
She could only keep shaking her head, unable to speak. He held her close, wiping away her tears with his fingers: "I know you must be lonely alone in New York. I'll finish the Going public work as quickly as possible and try to come join you sooner."
Unwilling to continue this conversation, she whispered: "Hold me tighter."
He complied, embracing her firmly. She molded herself against his chest, every inch of their skin touching without the slightest gap, as if only this complete closeness could soothe the hunger and helplessness born of love.
Outside the window lay Manhattan, renowned as the ultimate city of desire - a forest of skyscrapers reaching into the clouds, where people of different ethnicities and skin colors from around the world hurried through their lives. Yet this small hotel room, this single bed, served as their ark, at least temporarily carrying their intimate connection.
Zuo Si'an made a resolution: she could stake everything she had to defy fate, but she would absolutely never gamble with Gao Xiang's destiny.
She just didn't know how she could calmly deliver a final breakup. She decided to consider that problem tomorrow - for now, she would cherish this last embrace, not wasting a single minute.
5
The next day was September 11, 2001. This sunny, seemingly ordinary day would later become New York's painful memory.
Zuo Si'an walked to the café for her shift. The early autumn sun shone brightly upon her as she moved forward with downcast eyes, preoccupied with heavy thoughts. Suddenly, an earth-shattering explosion roared through the air. The pedestrian ahead stopped abruptly, and she collided with him before she could halt. She quickly apologized, but the man seemed unaware, staring skyward as he shouted: "My God, look!"Oh wow, if you find 52 Book Lake great, remember to bookmark the URL https:https://www.52shuku.net/ or recommend it to friends~ Please (>.<) Portal: Ranking List | Book Finding Guide | Qingshan Luotuo
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