Second Chance Romance

The girl retorted tearfully, "Stop preaching at me. Get lost, all of you. Leave me alone."

"I should head home to do my homework now. Goodbye."

As she walked away from the court, she spotted Gao Xiang and froze momentarily. Without a word, she signaled for him to turn around. After putting some distance between them, she finally asked, "Didn't you say it wasn't convenient to see me anymore? Why are you here?"

He snapped back irritably, "Why are you hanging out with that kind of guy?"

Just as she was about to respond, someone called from behind, "Zuo Si'an."

"He's not so bad—smart, healthy, cheerful, knows how to make people laugh, and he doesn't think being seen with me is something to be ashamed of."

"He only approached you because of a bet. Sooner or later, he'll break your heart."

"I don't have any heart left for him to break." Zuo Si'an laughed heartily. "Why he came, how he brags to others—I couldn't care less. Anyone who takes such trivial matters seriously is a fool."

Gao Xiang was taken aback, and he couldn't help but think that not only Zuo Si'an, but even he himself found his earlier words ridiculously sanctimonious. The girl before him now wore a light, carefree smile, as if she had shed some invisible shackles and no longer retreated into an intangible shell. Yet, this very indifference seemed like another form of self-protection.

All he could say was, "Let's go. I'll walk you home."

But Zuo Si'an didn't move. She gazed thoughtfully at Gao Xiang and suddenly asked, "When I called you, you didn't want to see me. Why did you come looking for me today?"

"I was worried about you."

"Hmm, so you thought I was in a situation where I needed your help again, and if you didn't step in, I might go astray. If I were doing just fine and didn't need your concern, you wouldn't come to see me anymore. Did I get that right?"

Gao Xiang didn't know how to respond, and she didn't seem to expect an answer. "I don't want to go home right now. Walk with me for a bit."

Spring in Hanjiang City was always fleeting, as if it passed in the blink of an eye, making it all the more precious. The trees were newly green, the grass lush, and the air carried a fresh scent. Zhongshan Park, located in the city center, was relatively quiet except for the bustling amusement area. Behind it stood a grove of tall, straight metasequoia trees. They strolled along the gravel path, the metasequoia leaves rustling overhead in the wind. Sunlight cast irregular patterns on the ground, and unidentified birds chirped incessantly among the branches.

Zuo Si'an remained silent, and Gao Xiang felt an indescribable tension in the quiet. He tried to break the ice: "Many cities I've visited have a Zhongshan Park."

"My dad says the same thing—many cities he's been to have Shenyang Road, Shanghai Road, Tianjin Road. I really don't understand why everyone takes the easy way out and doesn't bother giving them unique names."

"How is your dad doing?"

She replied without expression, "I don't know. Even if he's not doing well, he probably wouldn't tell me."

"And you, how are things at school?"

"Same as always."

Her unusually brief answer unsettled him. "Last time you called, I didn't come out, but..."She stopped, and he halted as well, about to continue speaking when she suddenly threw herself into his arms, holding him tightly, her face pressed against the collar of his shirt. Startled, he instinctively glanced around—no one was nearby. He tried to pry her hands away: "Xiao An, is there something you want to tell me?"

She stubbornly clung to him, as if trying to merge herself into his very being. In his flustered state, he could feel her slender, supple, and warm form, and he knew all too well that he had been restraining his desire for this body for months. He could no longer force her hands away. Instead, he held her, kissed her glossy black hair, and gently caressed her face. She stood on her toes to kiss his lips, but he evaded her conflictedly, cupping her chin to look at her, bitterness and sweetness mingling in his voice: "We can't do this, Xiao An."

"Maybe there won't be another chance like this again. Because," she whispered, "my mom plans to take me to America."

Yu Jia had never mentioned her divorce to her colleagues, but her interactions with Peter had long drawn their attention. When intellectuals gossip, the difference from ordinary townsfolk is minimal. Moreover, Yu Jia was just in the midst of competition for promotion and professional title evaluation. No one questioned her expertise—the high quality of her papers and her strong work capabilities were widely recognized throughout the Hydraulic Research Institute, and she had even gained some renown in domestic academic circles. Her private life became her only vulnerability, and even details about her daughter had been indirectly circulated.

Yu Jia had never imagined she would become the subject of others' gossip. Devoted to her academic pursuits, she had no concept of office politics. Feeling disheartened, she grew more aware of the pressure Zuo Si'an was under and grew increasingly worried about her daughter's unusually calm demeanor.

Peter had only signed a one-year short-term contract with the local university and was set to return to his home country by summer. He proposed to her, and she was taken aback, refusing: "No, I divorced my husband because we had irreconcilable issues in our relationship. If I were to be with you right after the divorce, it would practically confirm that I was the one who cheated in the marriage."

"You can't care so much about what others think."

"But I do care. I'm not ready to start another relationship, and more importantly, if I remarry now, my daughter will never forgive me."

"If your daughter never accepts that life has changed, are you going to keep waiting for her indefinitely?"

Yu Jia fell silent.

"You should take your daughter to a different environment. It would be good for both of you."

This was something Zuo Xuejun had also said. She could only smile wryly: "Where would we go? Changing jobs in China isn't easy, and I don't want to give up my specialty."

"You once told me you hoped for an opportunity to further your academic studies. Have you considered doing a postdoc or being a visiting scholar in the U.S.? Given your performance in your field, getting an offer shouldn't be a problem."After completing her master's degree, Yu Jia had indeed considered pursuing a doctorate abroad. However, upon further reflection, she realized her husband had already taken on most of the responsibility of caring for their daughter to support her ambitions. Even if he supported this idea, she couldn't bring herself to accept it. Thus, she chose to continue her doctoral studies at her alma mater while working in research, though she carried some regret in her heart.

She began seriously considering Peter's suggestion and found it increasingly feasible. Being a decisive person by nature, she immediately prepared the necessary documents once she made up her mind. Peter helped send her recommendation letters, but explaining this to her daughter proved difficult.

Yu Jia had never been skilled at indirect conversation. After only a brief opening, Zuo Si'an, with her sharp perception, sensed this wasn't a routine discussion about her studies or daily life. She looked up at her mother and asked, "Didn't you say you didn't want to give up your job? Why this sudden interest in going abroad? Does it have something to do with that foreigner?"

Unable to evade under such direct scrutiny, Yu Jia replied plainly, "Peter did suggest it, and after thinking it over, I believe it's feasible. As a postdoctoral researcher, I can bring my minor child along. The education system in the U.S. is excellent, and if you complete high school there, you'll have a good chance of applying to top universities."

"Sounds like this is entirely for my benefit. I don't need you making such a big sacrifice for me."

Ignoring the sarcasm in Zuo Si'an's tone, Yu Jia responded calmly, "It's not a sacrifice. I've always dreamed of furthering my studies in a place with higher academic standards."

"But that's your dream, not mine."

"Xiao An, you can't go on like this—disheartened, drifting along, uninterested in everything. You're 17 now and need to start planning for your future."

"So I have to accept your arrangements and fulfill your dreams?"

"That's not what I mean at all. I have my own goals and dreams, and I'll work hard to achieve them myself—I won't impose them on you. But I do have expectations for you. I hope you won't just drift through life aimlessly. People need purpose to live meaningfully, and I'll do my best to create opportunities for you to pursue your ideals."

Though Yu Jia spoke sincerely, Zuo Si'an remained unmoved. She asked bluntly, "Are you going to marry Peter?"

Yu Jia had no intention of lying. "Not for now."

"Right, getting remarried right after a divorce would be too soon."

She had said almost the same thing to Peter, but hearing it from her daughter left a bitter taste.

"So you've decided to go to the U.S."

"As long as I receive an offer, I'll inform my supervisor and apply for a visa."

"Since I'm not an adult, my options are either going to the U.S. with you or joining Dad in Ali, right?"

Yu Jia shook her head immediately. "Your father said all Tibetan children should study inland—how could you go to Ali?"

"Dad can't even stand being around me. Why would I bother him? Seems like I have no real choice."

"Xiao An, don't look at it that way. Think carefully—is there anything in your current environment worth holding onto?"Zuo Si'an suddenly raised her eyes. Yu Jia was startled, abruptly realizing that her daughter indeed had something she was reluctant to leave behind. Both fell silent simultaneously. After a pause, Zuo Si'an could no longer maintain her indifferent attitude and softened. Looking at Yu Jia, she pleaded in a near-entreating voice, "Mom, I know you have dreams, but I really don’t want to go abroad. Can you wait two more years? Just two years—until I get into university. Then you can go. I promise I’ll study hard and get into a good university."

"How could I possibly leave you behind and go to the United States alone?"

"It’s not leaving me behind. I’m really grateful that you’ve always been with me."

Yu Jia felt an indescribable sense of defeat. "Xiao An, I’m your mother, and you’re my daughter. Anything I do for you, I do willingly. I don’t need your gratitude." Zuo Si'an said nothing.

"You’re reluctant to leave Hanjiang City?"

She remained silent.

"I know—Gao Xiang is the reason you don’t want to leave."

She kept her expression neutral but watched her mother warily. Yu Jia steeled herself and decided to speak plainly. "Your father had a huge argument with me over what he saw that day when he came back. He blamed me for allowing Gao Xiang to get close to you, and he has a point. Gao Xiang is not someone you should like. Whether it’s his family background or his age, you shouldn’t have any feelings for him."

Zuo Si'an was provoked. "You should’ve thought of that when you entrusted me to him and let him take me to Ali."

"Your father accusing me is one thing, but you saying this is too much, Xiao An."

Zuo Si'an pressed her lips tightly together.

"At the time, Gao Xiang had a girlfriend, and they seemed to have a good relationship. Otherwise, how could I have felt safe letting you go to Ali with him? His mother accused you of being the reason he broke up with his girlfriend—isn’t that enough?"

"I didn’t…"

"I know. I’ve never blamed you for this. He’s an adult and should handle his own relationships. No matter what happened, it shouldn’t be blamed on you. Xiao An, you’re growing up, and it’s normal to develop feelings for someone of the opposite sex. Gao Xiang just happened to be the one who appeared most often in your life and showed you enough care. You’ve been too lonely, and without realizing it, you’ve used him to fill the void left by your father."

"No, it’s not like what you’re saying. I have a father; I don’t need anyone to replace him, and I certainly wouldn’t treat Gao Xiang as a father."