Second Chance Romance

"I know you're feeling down, Xiao An, and you need time..."

"Time? That's the last thing I need. I have plenty of time—so much that I don't know how to pass it quickly enough."

Yu Jia was taken aback. "Xiao An, you can't just give up on yourself like this."

"I haven't skipped classes, neglected my homework, or gone out fooling around. How does that amount to such a serious charge as giving up on myself?"

"That's not what I meant, but students must focus on their studies."

"I've been a good student for almost ten years. Isn't it forgivable if I can't muster the energy to focus now?"

Her quick retorts left Yu Jia both surprised and irritated. She suppressed her displeasure and said, "Xiao An, I don't want to be harsh about other things, but I can't lower my expectations when it comes to your studies. A student's duty is to study hard. You're at a critical stage now—in your second year of high school, facing the Liberal Arts and Science separation and class reassignments. If you slack off now, your grades will drop, and it'll be hard to catch up later."

"What's the point of forcing myself to keep up?"

"This affects your future. I know you're not in the mood to hear this, but I'd be irresponsible if I let you continue like this."

"Can you stop repeating the word 'responsibility'? I feel like I'm constantly making you responsible for me, as if I've committed some grave sin."

"We're your parents. It's our duty to be responsible for you. Of course, I can't just stand by and watch you sink into an unhealthy state."

"What's 'normal'? Is it normal as long as my grades stay in the top ten?"

"Xiao An, that's not the right attitude. I'm not just looking at your grades, but grades show how much effort someone is willing to put into their future."

"The future you're talking about is just pushing me to follow in your footsteps—get into college, find a good job, marry a good person. But even that could end in divorce. What's the point?"

Zuo Si'an kept steering the conversation toward the meaning of life, leaving Yu Jia at a loss for words. With her rigorous scientific mind, Yu Jia had always believed that life must have goals and pursuits, requiring continuous effort. Even in the face of setbacks, one should confront them positively. She was convinced her outlook on life was correct and had never been troubled by such grand, abstract questions. But faced with her daughter's despondency, she felt completely helpless.

Fortunately, Zuo Si'an had no intention of continuing the argument. Instead, she offered some reassurance: "Don't worry. It wouldn't look good to be at the bottom of the class. I'll try to do better on my exams. If there's nothing else, I'll go back to my room now."

Zuo Si'an kept her word. In the following exams, she showed slight improvement. After a few weeks of ups and downs, her grades stabilized miraculously at the lower-middle range of the class. This was far from satisfying Yu Jia, but at least it no longer warranted teachers calling in the parents.Her only friend at school now was Wang Wanyi. Wang Wanyi was a girl with a distinct personality. Just like when they used to sit together as desk mates, they maintained a casual friendship—no closer than before, not like typical girls who would stick together whenever possible, sharing every trivial secret of their lives. But whenever they ran into each other, they would chat for a while. Occasionally, Wang Wanyi would invite her out on weekends, assuring her that the people they would hang out with weren't "those boring bookworms from our school." Zuo Si'an wasn't particularly interested, but she didn't want to keep refusing either, so she joined them once in a while.

Most of the people there were Li Yang's friends, as he had a wide social circle. The weather was bad that day, so they couldn't play sports outdoors. Their activities were actually quite simple: a large group of kids around the same age played video games, billiards, and then pooled their money to sing for two hours at an affordable KTV. Zuo Si'an couldn't match their enthusiasm, but just like with her academic performance, she knew how to stay in a safe and inconspicuous position—neither spoiling others' fun nor forcing herself to join in the excitement.

A strange boy tried hard to approach her, but she ignored him. Later, Wang Wanyi confirmed it: "He's Li Yang's friend. They met during a basketball game and often play together. He said he thinks you're mysterious."

Unwilling to engage, Zuo Si'an used the upcoming midterm exams as an excuse and stopped going out. However, the boy waited for her at the school gate. Li Yang and Wang Wanyi called out to her, so she had no choice but to go over and greet him. He automatically walked with her toward the bus stop and introduced himself: "My name is Xu Weiming. I'm in my second year of high school at Huining Middle School."

"Oh."

"I want to pursue you, Zuo Si'an."

She was stunned by his straightforward confession and stared at him wide-eyed. He was a tall, handsome boy with short-cropped hair, a healthy complexion, and a smile that revealed strikingly white teeth—pleasing to the eye. She laughed: "Did Li Yang tell you about my situation?"

"He did. I think it's fine. Having more life experiences is a good thing."

She found his naive response both amusing and exasperating. With a hint of sarcasm, she said, "So you're here to enrich your life through me?"

He took it in stride: "We can enrich each other's lives. Come watch me play basketball tomorrow. You'll find it interesting."

Zuo Si'an had little interest in sports and didn't find middle school basketball games particularly entertaining. However, she carried an indescribable depression in her heart, and sitting in the sun, watching them sweat profusely without thinking about anything, was a rare escape for her. She also didn't take Xu Weiming's pursuit seriously and had no intention of being with him. But others saw it differently. Rumors of her new story spread quickly through the school, and her classmates' gazes toward her even carried a hint of awe.

For the first time in three months, Liu Guanchao stopped her outside the cafeteria: "Xiao An, you can't do this."

"Can't do what?"

"They say Xu Weiming has had many girlfriends."

"What does that have to do with me?"

"Everyone is talking about you."

"When have they ever stopped talking about me?"Liu Guanchao's expression was somewhat contorted. She couldn't bear to see it and softened her voice: "Don't worry about my affairs, and don't trouble yourself over them, Xiao Chao. It has nothing to do with you."

She prepared to walk away, but Liu Guanchao grabbed her arm. She turned back in surprise, and the profound pain in his eyes stunned her: "Xiao Chao, I know your parents have always been very strict with you. They told you to stay away from me for your own good. I understand and don't blame you. It's fine."

"But my sister..."

She interrupted him: "Your sister was forced into it too. Let's not mention this matter again. I'm going back to the classroom first."

Zuo Si'an could tell Liu Guanchao was deeply troubled, but she was so overwhelmed by her own worries that she had no extra energy to concern herself with what was troubling him so deeply. After much thought, she found a public phone after school and dialed Gao Xiang's number. He hadn't appeared before her since leaving her home before the Spring Festival.

"It's Zuo Si'an."

"Xiao An, what's the matter?"

"I... if it's convenient, I'd like to see you."

Gao Xiang remained silent on the other end for a long time before finally saying: "Xiao An, if there's something, you can just say it over the phone."

Though spring had arrived and the weather had long warmed up, a chill rose in her heart: "So you don't want to see me?"

He fell silent again. She knew this pressing was meaningless, yet she needed a definite answer and stubbornly remained silent, waiting for his response.

"Xiao An, if you need my help with anything, just tell me. But I don't think it's appropriate for me to see you anymore."

She softly uttered "Oh" and hung up the phone.

Gao Xiang didn't expect Liu Guanchao to come to his office and was somewhat surprised: "What brings you here?"

Liu Guanchao kept a stiff face, not looking at him: "Please go persuade Xiao An not to date that boy named Xu Weiming."

Gao Xiang was greatly shocked: "Dating?"

"She's been getting very close to that boy lately, going to Zhongshan Park every weekend afternoon to watch him play basketball."

Gao Xiang was silent for a moment: "That doesn't seem like a big deal."

Liu Guanchao grew anxious: "But everyone at school is talking about it. That boy goes to Huining Middle School, has poor grades, and is notorious for being a playboy. Relying on his good looks, he's been changing girlfriends almost every semester since junior high. Now many people... know about Xiao An. He's just using her to boast."

"You're Xiao An's friend. If these things are true, you should tell her honestly and let her make her own judgment."

Liu Guanchao struggled for a while: "Even if she's still willing to consider me a friend, I don't have the face to act like nothing happened."

"That matter was done by your sister, it's not..."

"It's not completely unrelated to me."

The pain in this adolescent boy was so heavy that Gao Xiang fell silent for a moment.

"I called Aunt Yu, but she didn't take it seriously. She said Xiao An is too lonely, and making friends with peers might be good for her. At least she's still willing to listen to you. Please, you must go and persuade her. She's already... very isolated at school. I don't want her to get hurt by that person and become the topic of everyone's gossip again."

As Liu Guanchao turned to leave, Gao Xiang stopped him: "Is everything alright at home?"He walked out without looking back, saying, "That has nothing to do with you."

It had been over a month since he received Zuo Si'an's phone call. From the Spring Festival until now, Gao Xiang hadn't seen her for nearly three months, and he didn't know what position he could take to persuade her. He thought Yu Jia probably felt that if Zuo Si'an must interact with the opposite sex, being with boys her own age would be far safer than spending time with him. He had to admit he even shared the same view.

But when Saturday came, he still went to the basketball court Liu Guanchao had mentioned, located in Zhongshan Park. All four simple courts were occupied with people playing ball. Zuo Si'an sat on a bench with another girl, but her gaze seemed to pierce through the shouting, active court, fixed on the distant horizon. She wasn't wearing her school uniform; instead, she had on a thin, loose gray top and light blue jeans. The strong south wind billowed her clothes and swept her hair back.

A tall, athletic boy in a tank top and shorts walked over. She casually handed him a bottle of water. He crouched in front of her, drinking and talking to her.

Gao Xiang watched the scene from afar. He was only 25, but he felt the world of those kids seven or eight years younger was already incredibly distant. If Zuo Si'an was happy, what right or reason did he have to disturb her? He was about to turn and leave when he saw a long-haired girl approach and join the conversation. Zuo Si'an stood up to leave but was blocked by the girl. The boy stood up, looking angry as he argued with her.

He strode over and heard the long-haired girl say scornfully, "Why put on airs? Do you really think he likes you? He just made a bet with someone that he could make you fall for him."

Zuo Si'an said calmly, "It's pointless to argue over something like this."

The girl was somewhat taken aback by her attitude. After a pause, she said furiously, "No wonder there are so many wild rumors about you. Turns out you really have no self-respect at all."

The surroundings fell silent; the players stopped and looked over. The boy shoved the girl angrily, saying, "What nonsense are you spouting?" Then he turned to Zuo Si'an: "She's crazy, don't listen to her rubbish."

The girl, who had seemed fierce and tough, was infuriated by the boy's obvious bias and suddenly crumpled to the ground, crying.

Zuo Si'an looked down at her and said with a hint of pity, "Crying and making a scene over a boy in public isn't a sign of self-respect either."