That afternoon, Gao Xiang walked out of the village, intending to reach a spot near the highway with mobile signal to call Sun Ruodi. He hadn’t gone far when he suddenly sensed something amiss. Turning around, he saw Zuo Si’an quietly following about ten meters behind him. When he stopped, she halted as well.
“What are you doing out in such cold weather?”
“I want to borrow your phone to call my dad.”
This was the first time she had spoken to him. She didn’t look at him, her voice soft but clear. He almost mentioned that there was a public phone in the village and questioned why she needed to follow him so far. But then he realized she must be like him—unwilling to let others overhear the conversation.
He nodded. “Alright, walk slowly and be careful not to slip.”
After days of rain and snow, the path was muddy. Knowing she wouldn’t accept his help, he deliberately slowed his pace while keeping an eye on her. When they reached the roadside, he handed her the phone, but she shook her head and stepped aside. “You go first.”
He quickly dialed Sun Ruodi, who asked, “Where exactly have you been? Your phone is always out of service. I’ve been worried sick.”
He evaded the question. “I’m still in Qinggang. How are you?”
Sun Ruodi remained silent for a moment.
“I’m sorry, Ruodi. I really can’t get away right now. Once this period is over, I’ll come back and spend time with you.”
Sun Ruodi, gentle by nature, relented. “Alright, take good care of your grandfather.”
“Your voice sounds a bit hoarse.”
“I might have caught a slight cold.”
“Be good, go buy some cold medicine, drink plenty of water, and don’t stay up too late reading. Don’t let the cold get worse. I’ll come back to see you as soon as I can.”
After hanging up, he walked over and handed the phone to Zuo Si’an. “I’ll go over there for a smoke. Take your time.”
Assuming she would have a lot to say to her father, he walked a distance away and lit a cigarette. But after only a third of it, he glanced back and saw that Zuo Si’an had already put down the phone and was standing by the roadside, where vehicles sped past. The fields, battered by the recent rain and snow, lay barren and withered. Clad in a long, thick down jacket, her figure appeared bulky yet strangely desolate, as if the wind could sweep her away at any moment.
He quickly stubbed out his cigarette and hurried over. Seeing tears streaming down Zuo Si’an’s face, he offered her a tissue. She didn’t take it, instead handing the phone back to him.
“What’s wrong?”
“My dad won’t talk to me anymore.”
With just those words, she burst into loud, heart-wrenching sobs, her cries fragmented and carried away by the howling north wind. This utterly childlike display of grief startled Gao Xiang. Unsure how to comfort her, he reached out to gently pat her shoulder, but she flinched and pulled away, turning back toward the village. Still crying, she stumbled along the uneven path, her steps unsteady. Only when she reached the village entrance did she manage to stifle her sobs, bowing her head low.
Following behind her, Gao Xiang couldn’t help but feel a deep resentment toward Zuo Xuejun. He wondered how a father, reputedly always kind and loving, could suddenly turn indifferent and reduce his daughter to such despair.After sending Zuo Si'an back, Gao Xiang told Aunt Mei he needed to return to Qinggang for some business and would come back the same day. He drove directly to the county government residential compound where the Zuo family lived. Dusk was approaching, and the aroma of stir-frying wafted from many households. He went upstairs and knocked on the door. Zuo Xuejun opened it. "Who are you looking for?"
"County Chief Zuo, my name is Gao Xiang."
Zuo Xuejun frowned thoughtfully. "You're Gao Ming's son, aren't you?"
Gao Xiang hadn't expected him to remember his father. "Yes. I'd like to talk to you. May I come in?"
Zuo Xuejun let him in and asked coldly, "What is it?"
"Why haven't you visited your daughter?"
"That's my family matter. None of your business."
"Do you know her current condition?"
"Her current condition? Do you think I need others to remind me?" Zuo Xuejun's mouth twitched, revealing an almost ferocious expression. "She's about to give birth. My fourteen-year-old daughter, still a child herself..."
Seeing the man was clearly in extreme pain, Gao Xiang's anger instantly dissipated. He tried to speak calmly. "I just want to tell you she's very lonely. Her mother visits her every week, but she seems to have some issues getting along with her mother. She's been hoping you would come."
Zuo Xuejun collapsed onto the sofa, burying his head in his hands, fingers tearing at his hair.
"Don't... don't worry. Aunt Mei is a doctor and is taking good care of her."
Zuo Xuejun didn't lift his head or respond. Gao Xiang stood awkwardly, glancing around. Suddenly he noticed all the items in the living room had been packed, with two suitcases and a large backpack stacked to the side.
"County Chief Zuo, are you being transferred back to the provincial capital?"
Just as he thought he wouldn't get an answer, Zuo Xuejun spoke: "An Aid Tibet cadre from the province had a car accident in Ngari and needs to return to the mainland for treatment. I applied to replace him and have been approved. I'm leaving for the airport soon."
Gao Xiang was stunned. "You're planning to leave just like that without seeing your daughter?"
"Her mother will stay with her."
"I don't know your family situation, but how can I make you understand? She needs both of you by her side."
Zuo Xuejun fell silent again.
Gao Xiang found it hard to believe: "You're not running off to Tibet because you think her situation has shamed you, are you? She's your daughter, the victim, completely innocent. How can you treat her like this?"
Zuo Xuejun looked up, his eyes bloodshot in the light. "What right do you have to lecture me?"
"What right do I need? True, Chen Ziyu is my uncle, but he's already paid for his actions..."
"Shut up." Zuo Xuejun sprang up and grabbed his collar. "Don't mention that name in front of me."
Gao Xiang struggled but couldn't break free, his anger flaring: "That incident shamed you, so you forbid people from mentioning his name, refuse to visit your daughter, and won't even stay in this place. Is this how you deal with it?""How dare you presume to guess my thoughts? You have no understanding of a father's heart. Xiao An is my daughter, my precious treasure. Back then, I traveled day and night by train from another city to wait outside the delivery room for her birth. I watched her grow from an infant into a little girl. I thought I could always take good care of her until she grew up, watching her start a family. But I brought her to Qinggang, got caught up in work, failed to protect her, and let her suffer this pain..."
"The incident has already happened. She's still a child—shouldn't you be doing your utmost to care for her?"
"You dismiss it so lightly with 'it's already happened.' Do you know what choices I've faced? She fainted at school and was sent to the hospital—only then did I learn she was five months pregnant after being assaulted. We live together, yet I knew nothing. I repeatedly pressured her to explain exactly what happened and how. Even when she cried herself hoarse, I wouldn't stop. I filed a report at the police station, watched them identify and arrest the suspect, listened to his confession—I wanted to kill him with my own hands to vent my hatred. After he escaped, I urged the police to intensify their pursuit and even forced my way into a patrol car, causing the officers on duty to receive disciplinary action. My wife accused me of being possessed, never considering why no other parents of victimized girls had reported the crimes despite that bastard's long history of evil. I alone escalated the situation—what will become of our daughter in the future? But I couldn't stop myself; I couldn't think straight. Now, not only have I failed to avenge my daughter, but she even has to bear that man's child to protect me from being held accountable. I'm watching her life being destroyed—how can I face her? How can I care for her?"
By the time he finished, Zuo Xuejun was hoarse. He released Gao Xiang and snarled, "Get out."
Gao Xiang drove away from the Zuo family's dormitory, aimlessly circling for a while before parking by the roadside. He was only two streets from his home, but he had no desire to return.
He had grown up smoothly, but his mother focused her attention on his younger brother, often neglecting him. Gao Ming, coming from a poor background, disapproved of his wife's indulgent approach to raising their son and instead showed more concern for Gao Xiang, imposing relatively strict demands and never spoiling him. When Gao Xiang was in middle school, Gao Ming insisted he board at school to adapt to a tougher environment while encouraging him to make more friends. Gao Ming's efforts paid off: Gao Xiang became independent early, developed a calmer demeanor than his peers, and carried no arrogance despite his privileged background.
After graduating from university, he officially took over sales at the family company, performing exceptionally well and quickly becoming capable of handling responsibilities independently. His grandfather praised him highly, and he had always been confident in his ability to handle situations. Yet, faced with such a complex circumstance now, he felt profoundly lost and deeply doubted the decisions and actions he had taken.He suddenly missed Sun Ruodi intensely. They had been dating for over two years, and their relationship had been smooth without major ups and downs. The biggest conflict was when he missed her birthday due to a business trip, which led to her playful sulking, a brief cold war, and eventual reconciliation—far from the stage where memories are glorified by nostalgia. Yet compared to the current chaos, he genuinely realized that what attracted him most was the simple, peaceful happiness he felt when with her.
He dialed Sun Ruodi's number. After several rings, she answered, "What's up?"
She had clearly already gone to bed, her voice soft, warm, and drowsy. He felt comforted and admitted frankly, "I miss you."
She was surprised but pleased, though she chided him, "Hmph, why were you in such a hurry to hang up when we talked this afternoon?"
"That's why I'm calling again. What are you doing?"
"Lying in bed reading. When can you come back?"
At this question, his mood darkened. "Sorry, Ruodi, I can't get away just yet."
Surprisingly, Sun Ruodi didn't press further. "Send my regards to your grandfather and tell him to rest well."
After hanging up, Gao Xiang rolled down the car window and lit a cigarette, feeling somewhat relieved. But his phone rang immediately—it was Aunt Mei. "Xiao Gao, a woman in the neighboring village is in labor. I have to go right away and don't know how long it'll take. When can you be back? I'm worried about Xiao An. She's been very down today, skipped dinner, locked herself in her room, and won't say a word."
"I'll head back right away."
"Good. I'll have Jingjing leave the door unlocked for you. When you get back, check quietly on Xiao An. Don't disturb her if she's fine."
By the time Gao Xiang drove back to Liu Wan, it was nearly midnight. The villagers were all asleep, and the entire village was eerily silent. He pushed Aunt Mei's door—it wasn't bolted, just slightly ajar. Zuo Si'an was supposed to be in the south-facing side room on the right, but the light was on in the left side room, which Aunt Mei used as a clinic.
He walked over and froze. Zuo Si'an was standing before a freestanding wooden-framed mirror against the wall. Her long down jacket was discarded nearby. She had pushed up her sweater and undershirt, exposing her swollen abdomen, and was staring motionlessly at her belly in the mirror.
Gao Xiang was completely unprepared to see her examining herself in such a bizarre way on a cold winter night. Moreover, the disproportionately prominent bulge on her slender frame shocked him into a petrified stance, leaving him momentarily at a loss.
☆、18
IV
Zuo Si'an continued to push her clothing upward. She wasn't wearing a bra but a cotton sports top, which she rolled up to reveal her newly swollen breasts. She paused, whether from the cold or unable to bear the image in the mirror. She trembled, her teeth chattering faintly yet piercingly, startling even herself. She clenched her jaw, trying to stop the sound, but it was futile.Oh snap, if you find 52 Book Lake great, remember to bookmark the URL https:https://www.52shuku.net/ or recommend it to friends~ Please (>.<) Portal: Ranking List | Book Finding Guide | Qingshan Luotuo
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