Lu Xixiao hailed a taxi home.
It had been exactly half a month—fifteen days—since Zhou Wan left his house that day, and she hadn't come looking for him even once.
Quite the backbone.
Lu Xixiao tugged at the corner of his mouth and scoffed.
The taxi was filled with the tacky, clichéd sound of a radio broadcast, the female host's voice artificially sweet and exaggerated as she laughed deliberately.
Lu Xixiao rolled down the window, letting the cold wind tousle his hair as he idly scrolled through his phone.
He froze when he opened the photo album—there was still a photo of Zhou Wan inside.
It was taken on his birthday, after Zhou Wan had given him a photo frame.
Saying he would use that frame for her photo had just been a casual tease at the time; Lu Xixiao hadn't even developed the photo.
In the picture, the girl looked startled, her eyes wide.
She usually wore a calm, plain expression, but this captured moment of surprise was rare, and the longer he looked, the more endearing it seemed.
"Driver," Lu Xixiao spoke up, "are there any photo studios around here?"
"Photo studios? There's one near No. 2 High School, but it's in the opposite direction from your address."
"No problem, let's go to the photo studio first," Lu Xixiao said. "Sorry for the trouble."
Early in the morning, something happened at school.
It was said that a freshman girl had been caught in a puppy love relationship, and her parents were called in. Normally, such incidents weren't particularly unusual in high school, but the girl's mother had reacted fiercely. As soon as she arrived at school, she slapped the girl across the face, hurling exceptionally harsh insults and shouting loudly, her words too vulgar to bear. In the end, the teachers had to step in to mediate.
At school, news like this spread quickly.
It was rumored that the girl came from a single-parent family, living with her mother but raised by her grandmother.
Her mother was a public elementary school teacher with a fiery temper and excessively high expectations for her daughter, hoping she would soar to great heights.
"How awful," Gu Meng said. "That mother didn't even raise her, yet she puts so much pressure on her. Slapping her as soon as she gets to school—if I were that girl, I'd be so embarrassed I'd want to transfer."
Another girl nearby turned to join the conversation: "I was on the third floor at the time and heard her mother yelling at her. I've never heard anyone curse so viciously—it was like the girl wasn't even her daughter."
The homeroom teacher rapped loudly on the door, and everyone quieted down.
"By now, you all should know what happened today," the homeroom teacher said from the podium. "You're at a critical stage in high school. No one will care if you date once you're in college, but for now, rein in your thoughts and focus on your studies!"
The teacher's gaze swept from left to right. "Let me be blunt—the school is cracking down on early relationships lately. If you're caught, your parents will be called in."
There were a few secret couples in Class 1, and everyone's eyes inadvertently drifted toward them.
Zhou Wan kept her head down when suddenly her phone vibrated in her desk.
Hardly anyone texted her during school hours, and she had forgotten to mute it.
Flustered, she took out her phone and switched it to silent mode.
—"6" had sent a message.
Zhou Wan froze.
Lu Xixiao?
They hadn't been in contact for a long time.
She opened the message.
[6: Lunch together?]
Zhou Wan's finger paused, hesitating.
She didn't understand why Lu Xixiao was reaching out to her again. He hadn't been at school these past few days, and she had assumed he'd already found a girlfriend and had no time for her anymore.
[Zhou Wan: I'm at school. I can't leave at noon.]
[6: Me too.]
"..."Many students at school had already misunderstood their relationship, and the homeroom teacher mentioned that the school was strictly cracking down on such matters recently. Zhou Wan didn’t want to stir up unnecessary trouble.
[Zhou Wan: How about dinner? Around six o’clock after Competition Class ends.]
[6: Sure.]
The fourth-period Chinese class ended.
Zhou Wan and Gu Meng went to the cafeteria together for lunch.
Because of Lu Xixiao’s message earlier, Zhou Wan paid attention to her surroundings on the way. He never wore the school uniform, making him stand out in the crowd, but she couldn’t spot him.
After lunch, Gu Meng went to the school store again.
"Wanwan, do you want milk tea?"
She shook her head.
Gu Meng bought a cup of hot bubble tea, and they headed back to the classroom together.
As the days entered December, the early plum blossoms by the school garden bloomed, red and white intermingled, filling the air with a faint, delicate fragrance.
"Hey, isn’t that Lu Xixiao?" Gu Meng suddenly nudged Zhou Wan with her elbow and whispered, "Why did he come to school today?"
Zhou Wan looked up.
Lu Xixiao was wearing a black jacket, his brows slightly furrowed. The pale winter sunlight fell on his face, making his skin appear even colder and paler. He looked impatient and weary, as if he had just woken up.
As if sensing something, Lu Xixiao looked up and met Zhou Wan’s gaze.
He tilted his head slightly toward her and was about to walk over when a sudden scream erupted from the crowd—
"Look at the rooftop!"
Everyone below looked up and saw a figure standing on the edge of the rooftop—a girl in a school uniform. Her clothes billowed in the strong wind, making her seem even more precarious and unsettling.
"Who is that?!"
"Is she going to jump?"
"Quick, get a teacher!"
"It looks like Xue Xi!"
Zhou Wan was so shocked that her feet felt rooted to the ground. She could only hear the murmurs around her, saying that Xue Xi was the girl who had been called in with her parents earlier that morning for dating.
She also overheard someone in the crowd mention that Xue Xi was usually introverted, withdrawn, pessimistic, and suffered from depression.
Zhou Wan saw Lu Xixiao abruptly turn and rush upstairs.
Instinctively, she ran after him.
"Wanwan!" Gu Meng called after her, but Zhou Wan didn’t have time to respond.
Lu Xixiao’s strides were long and fast, and Zhou Wan couldn’t keep up. By the time she reached the final flight of stairs, she was panting heavily. The door to the rooftop platform was open, the sealed chain having been cut.
Zhou Wan’s hair was tousled by the wind, and she could barely catch her breath as she ran forward.
Lu Xixiao stood at the doorway, his face even paler than before, his brows tightly furrowed. He leaned heavily against the wall, barely managing to keep himself from collapsing, the veins on the back of his hands starkly visible.
Zhou Wan remembered—he was afraid of heights.
But she never expected that Lu Xixiao would be the first to rush to the rooftop to save someone.
…
The wind on the rooftop was fierce, howling in their ears, and the sunlight was blinding.
Lu Xixiao gritted his teeth, trying to stand straight and move forward, but the image of his mother leaping from a rooftop years ago lingered relentlessly in his mind.
It had been a similarly bright, sunny day. Looking up, the sunlight was too intense to keep his eyes open, making it impossible to see clearly.
Then, with a heavy, dull "thud," everything before him was stained with blood.
The memory felt like a curse, paralyzing him. He couldn’t move, couldn’t look up, and couldn’t even make a sound.
His entire body turned cold, trembling imperceptibly.
Just then, he heard hurried footsteps approaching from behind.
But Lu Xixiao didn’t have the strength to turn and look. His head was heavy, his consciousness fading.Until the next second, a warm palm tightly grasped his hand, and someone stood in front of him, blocking the blinding sunlight.
He caught the unique floral scent of laundry detergent from Zhou Wan.
The girl’s petite figure stood before him, slender yet resolute, her hair tied up, revealing the pale nape of her neck.
Zhou Wan clenched his hand firmly.
His unbalanced heart, after a tremor, slowly returned to a normal rhythm.
"Xue Xi," Zhou Wan recalled the name she had just overheard and called out softly.
The girl had already stepped over the railing surrounding the rooftop and was sitting on it. Due to years of neglect, the railing creaked and groaned, the sound grating and alarming, as if it might snap and collapse at any moment.
Hearing Zhou Wan’s voice, the girl turned her head.
She knew Zhou Wan—from the honor roll of top students and the recent rumors circulating at school.
But she and Zhou Wan weren’t acquainted; they had never spoken.
Zhou Wan didn’t dare approach recklessly, her heart racing. "You’re still so young, only a freshman. There’s so much more of life’s excitement waiting for you. Please come down from there—it’s dangerous."
The girl remained unmoved. She turned her head back and glanced at the dense crowd below, a mix of students and teachers.
"I’m not like you. My grades are poor, and I’m not as pretty as you," Xue Xi said with a self-deprecating smile. "I don’t have the future or the life you do. My mother is domineering and controlling—she hits and insults me whenever I don’t do as she says. In her eyes, I’m just her accessory. I don’t want to live like this anymore."
Zhou Wan paused briefly.
Then she said calmly, "Do you envy me?"
Xue Xi glanced at Zhou Wan, then at Lu Xixiao standing behind her—the charismatic figure all the girls at school talked about eagerly.
"Of course," Xue Xi replied. "I envy everyone."
When someone is trapped in an emotion for too long, it becomes impossible to break free, lost in a maze of confusion.
Zhou Wan said, "My father passed away from illness when I was ten, and my mother abandoned me and left home that same year. All these years, I’ve lived with my grandma. She’s seriously ill and relies on dialysis every month to stay alive. She’s too old for a transplant, and we don’t know how much longer she can hold on."
"All these years, I’ve had to find ways to earn money and get scholarships on my own, so my grandma wouldn’t have to struggle so much."
There was a certain magnetism in Zhou Wan’s eyes that brought calm. Her voice was soft and even, not deliberately painting her hardships but simply stating the facts.
"Do you think I can see my own future and life clearly? I don’t even dare to dream. I don’t know where I’m headed. I’ve thought about giving up everything, just like you. But I don’t want to disappoint my father and my grandma, so I’ve worked hard to get to where I am now."
Xue Xi grew quiet, wordlessly watching Zhou Wan.
Zhou Wan continued, "So no matter what, at the very least, you can live beautifully for your own sake. The world we see now is too small. In a few years, we might see a broader world, gain a different perspective, and have a future we can’t even imagine right now."
Zhou Wan slowly moved closer, extending her hand gently.
"Xue Xi," she whispered, "Just hold on a little longer."
The girl raised her hand halfway, still hesitating.
The crowd below grew larger. A teacher had rushed up, and someone shouted, "Her mother is here!" Xue Xi’s mother and the teacher sprinted to the top floor and burst out onto the rooftop.Xue Xi abruptly withdrew her hand, gripping the stainless steel railing tightly. The railing shook, emitting a sharp, piercing noise.
"Don't come any closer!" Xue Xi screamed.
Her mother, face streaked with tears, was so frightened by her sudden movement that she collapsed to the ground, begging her not to jump.
Zhou Wan glanced back at her mother.
Standing beside her mother was a boy—the one Xue Xi had been dating, the reason parents had been called to school.
"Xue Xi," Zhou Wan turned back, "talk properly with your mom."
"It's the same," Xue Xi shook her head, crying, "it's always the same. As soon as I come down from here, she'll still hit me and yell at me. She just doesn't understand!"
"But what about your boyfriend?" Zhou Wan suddenly asked.
Xue Xi fell silent, her red-rimmed eyes fixed on the panicked young man before her.
Zhou Wan: "If you really jump from here today, have you thought about him? Whether it's real or not, he'll become one of the people blamed for your suicide."
"More importantly, if you jump right in front of him like this, he'll carry a shadow for the rest of his life that can never fade."
At this point, Zhou Wan suddenly paused, her heart giving a violent thump.
Shadow.
She had never wondered why Lu Xixiao had acrophobia.
He was fearless about everything else, so why was he specifically afraid of heights? Why did he rush upstairs recklessly to save someone? Why did he become pale and cold, unable to move?
Unintentionally, she seemed to have glimpsed another one of Lu Xixiao's secrets.
Zhou Wan glanced back.
The rooftop was now crowded with people. Below, chaos reigned—shouts and cries intermingled as firefighters had arrived on the scene.
Lu Xixiao stood there, expressionless, with only a slight frown between his eyebrows.
In such circumstances, no one noticed him in the corner, nor did anyone know he had been the first to arrive here.
An indescribable bitterness spread through Zhou Wan's heart.
She turned back to Xue Xi, carefully observing her expression: "You know some shadows can never be erased. Come back, Xue Xi. Everything can start over."
The world is vast, and the future stretches far ahead.
Xue Xi stared fixedly at Zhou Wan with red-rimmed eyes.
Suddenly, she crouched down, standing on that narrow rooftop edge, and began to sob bitterly.
Zhou Wan walked to her side, bent down, and finally grasped her ice-cold hand.
Her mother and teachers rushed forward simultaneously, pulling her back from the railing.
Zhou Wan was pushed aside by the crowd. Cheers rose from below. The wind on the rooftop was so strong, the sunlight so glaring, casting an unreal shimmer over everything.
Zhou Wan looked back at Lu Xixiao and slowly walked toward him.
No one noticed them.
"Lu Xixiao." Zhou Wan reached for his hand, noticing the sweat on his forehead, and asked softly, "Are you okay?"
His voice was hoarse when he spoke, as if exhausted: "Yeah."
Zhou Wan helped him downstairs. Only after descending two flights did his complexion finally begin to improve.
"Lu Xixiao."
Zhou Wan's mind was somewhat chaotic, unsure what to say to comfort him. "She didn't jump."
"Yeah."
"We saved her together," Zhou Wan said quietly.
Lu Xixiao turned his head, meeting her eyes—clear and transparent, calm and gentle, like undisturbed lake water.
He silently watched Zhou Wan for a moment, then looked away, saying flatly: "Let's go."
Zhou Wan paused, watching his retreating figure.The young man stood tall and straight, his spine rigid, having returned to that indestructible form, with no trace of the fragility and panic he had shown earlier on the rooftop.
An incident like this was bound to cause a stir at school.
After a faculty meeting, all the teachers instructed the students not to spread the news outside the school to minimize its impact, and Zhou Wan was singled out for praise.
In truth, if she hadn’t seen Lu Xixiao running upstairs, Zhou Wan might not have reacted so quickly. Besides, Lu Xixiao had been the first to arrive at the scene.
Zhou Wan had considered telling the teachers that Lu Xixiao had also gone up with her to rescue the girl.
But she worried that some people at school might connect it to his mother’s situation, and Lu Xixiao probably didn’t want to be further involved in such an incident. In the end, Zhou Wan said nothing.
As the matter concluded, it was said that Xue Xi’s mother tearfully embraced her daughter, apologizing repeatedly. She finally began to take her daughter’s psychological issues seriously and decided to temporarily withdraw her from school for treatment.
After packing her backpack, Xue Xi came to find Zhou Wan before leaving with her mother to thank her.
“No need to thank me,” Zhou Wan smiled gently. “Focus on getting better. See you next time.”
“I’m not sure if there will be a next time,” Xue Xi said. “After my treatment, I might transfer to another school and start over in a new environment.”
Zhou Wan nodded in agreement but paused before asking, “What about your boyfriend…?”
“I talked to him earlier, and we both decided to take a break.” Xue Xi shrugged and smiled. “He comes from a very happy family, sunny and warm—maybe that’s why I liked him. But the truth is, we’re not really compatible. And this whole situation has gotten too messy. I don’t want to continue like this. If there’s a future for us, I hope it’s after I’ve recovered and we can meet again under much lighter circumstances.”
Perhaps what had driven Xue Xi into a corner was never just the obstacles in her relationship, but the countless burdens weighing her down—today’s incident was merely the final straw that broke her back.
Zhou Wan watched her leave, walking out of the school gates.
The sunlight remained dazzlingly bright.
She found herself idly wondering: if she were ever in Xue Xi’s shoes, what would be her final straw?
...
For the rest of the afternoon, Zhou Wan didn’t see Lu Xixiao again.
Passing by Classroom 7, she stole a glance at his seat—it was empty.
He had left again.
She wondered if he still remembered their plan to have dinner together.
At five o’clock, the school bell rang, and students headed home, backpacks filled with homework and gossip.
Zhou Wan, however, stayed behind with Jiang Yan for an additional hour of Physics Competition training.
The specially invited competition teacher had heard about the day’s events and asked Zhou Wan what had happened. She explained everything.
The teacher said, “I heard from your physics teacher that you were the one who talked the girl down?”
“Yes.”
“Thank goodness. Otherwise, such a young life—what a tragedy it would have been.”
Jiang Yan interrupted the topic, “Mr. Zhang, how do you solve this problem?”
“Which one?” Mr. Zhang leaned over. “Let me see.”
Since Zhou Wan had quit her job at the arcade, she had been devoting more time to her studies, and her competition scores had improved noticeably. On yesterday’s test, she scored eight points higher than Jiang Yan.As a result, Jiang Yan also studied more diligently. Apart from eating and using the restroom, he remained seated, buried in solving problems. Even the major incident that happened at school today had no effect on him whatsoever.
After an hour, Jiang Yan stayed behind to do more problems, while Zhou Wan left first.
The school was quiet at six in the evening, with some senior high school students attending evening self-study sessions.
Zhou Wan walked with her head down, exited the school gate, and took a few more steps when a pair of shoes appeared in her peripheral vision.
She paused and looked up.
Lu Xixiao was leaning lazily against a tree trunk, a cigarette dangling from his lips. Hearing the sound, he lifted his eyes, the lids creasing into sharp, narrow folds.
Seeing Zhou Wan, he straightened up a bit, removed the cigarette, and asked in a light tone, "What do you want to eat?"
Zhou Wan walked up to him. "Anything is fine."
"Barbecue?"
Zhou Wan nodded. "Okay."
A new Korean barbecue restaurant had just opened near the school.
Lu Xixiao couldn’t be bothered to order, so he directly chose a set meal for two and added two signature dishes. The food arrived quickly, filling a nearby cart.
The server asked if they needed help with grilling. Not wanting to trouble others, Zhou Wan thanked them and declined, deciding to grill herself.
She rarely ate barbecue, but when she went with classmates, she was usually the one in charge of grilling, so she was fairly skilled.
Lu Xixiao sat across from her, watching as she grilled, occasionally taking sips of ice water.
The girl’s face was flushed from the heat, her eyelashes lowered. Only then did he notice how long Zhou Wan’s eyelashes were, casting dense shadows under the overhead light.
After a while, Lu Xixiao spoke up, "That’s enough, eat first."
"You eat first." Zhou Wan used the tongs to place the meat into his bowl. "I’ll finish grilling this."
Lu Xixiao clicked his tongue and took the tongs from her hand.
"Do you know how?" Zhou Wan asked.
"Yeah." He transferred all the grilled meat from the plate into Zhou Wan’s bowl.
After that, Lu Xixiao did most of the grilling while Zhou Wan ate. Before long, she said she was full.
Lu Xixiao looked up. "Really full?"
"Mm."
"Let’s go then."
There was still a lot of meat left uncooked, and it would be a waste to throw it away. While Lu Xixiao went to pay, Zhou Wan fetched a takeout box to pack it.
After leaving the barbecue restaurant, Zhou Wan handed him the box. "You can put this in your fridge. Since it’s getting cold, you can use it for hot pot, but make sure to eat it soon."
Lu Xixiao didn’t take it. He glanced at her sideways, let out a soft laugh, and said, "No pot."
"There’s one in your kitchen. You can use an induction cooker." Zhou Wan had seen it before.
Lu Xixiao raised an eyebrow but still didn’t reach out. The corners of his lips lifted slightly, though it seemed more like self-mockery than a smile.
Zhou Wan paused and said, "When the weekend comes, I can go to your place and we can eat it together."
"Oh." Lu Xixiao took the takeout box and gestured with his chin toward the convenience store across the street. "Buy a bottle of water."
He walked into the convenience store, familiarly picked two bottles of mineral water from the shelf, and paid.
Zhou Wan didn’t go in, waiting for him outside the store. When he came out, she was sitting on a small swing nearby, gently swaying.
Her head was slightly tilted back, both hands gripping the swing ropes, her toes off the ground. Her profile was pale and soft.
Lu Xixiao watched her for a moment, his Adam’s apple bobbing lightly.
"Zhou Wan."
She stood up and returned to his side. "Shall we go?"
Lu Xixiao unscrewed one of the water bottles and handed it to her. Zhou Wan thanked him and took a sip. Her pink lips glistened with droplets of water, like a watercolor painting blurred by moisture.
Lu Xixiao averted his gaze, frowned slightly, then looked back at her.
After a moment, he said quietly, "Why didn’t you ask me?"
"Ask what?"
"About today."She didn't expect him to bring it up first. Zhou Wan paused for a moment, looking into his eyes. "Are you talking about your fear of heights?"
Lu Xixiao looked down at her from his superior height, his expression indifferent, revealing no discernible emotion.
Zhou Wan simply continued looking up at him quietly, her gaze calm yet resolute.
After a long moment, Lu Xixiao suddenly turned his head and laughed.
His laughter was low and husky, muffled with a nasal tone as if vibrating from his chest.
"People who know too much might get silenced," he said with a laugh.
Zhou Wan was truly different from everyone else.
She spoke little. When they were together, silence often prevailed as they each went about their own activities—their communication couldn't be described as frequent. Yet Zhou Wan understood him best. Most of the time, she comprehended everything without him having to say a word.
At noon, she had told Xue Xi that if she were to jump just like that, her boyfriend would be left with an indelible shadow for life.
After saying this, she turned to look at Lu Xixiao, her expression slightly dazed, carrying a hint of disbelief and sudden realization.
In that moment, Lu Xixiao understood—she had discovered the reason for his fear of heights.
The feeling was peculiar.
He disliked having his wounds exposed, but Zhou Wan didn't do that. She had merely noticed the scar.
Under the overlapping dim streetlights, shadows and brightness intertwined, slowly shifting with the drifting clouds in the sky until they gradually merged, blurring the edges of their shadows until it was impossible to distinguish where one ended and the other began.
Lu Xixiao pulled out a cigarette, lowered his head, shielded the flame with one hand, and lit it.
His cheeks hollowed slightly as he took a deep drag, then exhaled, speaking softly: "It was after my mother jumped from a building that I developed acrophobia."
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