My Destiny

Liu Zhu's stab had cost Li Juan her left kidney.

The doctor said the knife tip had almost pierced through it. Fortunately, it struck the kidney; had it hit the liver, Juan might not have survived. It was also lucky that Qian Qian had a car. With the help of several passersby, Juan was rushed to the hospital in time. At that moment, there was no room for me in the car, and besides, I was holding the child, so I didn’t accompany them to the hospital.

The police arrived quickly as well. Holding the child, I was taken to the police station along with Liu Zhu. While Liu Zhu was being interrogated, I was also questioned for nearly an hour—about my relationship with Liu Zhu, my relationship with the child, and my relationship with Li Juan and Qian Qian. As a witness, I signed and fingerprinted several pages of testimony.

Liu Zhu was detained.

I asked, "What about the child?"

The police officer said I didn’t need to worry; they would take care of it.

As I was leaving the police station, I saw a female officer carrying the child wrapped in a towel, coming from somewhere and heading toward an office.

She stopped me and asked coldly, "Aren’t you taking the child?"

I said, "It’s not mine."

The male officer who had taken my testimony leaned out of the window and said, "The child has nothing to do with her. She’s free to go for now."

I thought the child looked terrified.

When I rushed to the hospital, Juan had already been taken to the emergency room, and Qian Qian was nowhere to be found.

I asked about Juan’s condition.

A nurse said, "How would I know? They’re still trying to save her. We’ll have to wait for the outcome."

Tears immediately streamed down my face. I grabbed the nurse’s hand and pleaded, "Please, you must..."

The nurse pulled her hand back and said, "Pleading with me is useless; I’m just a nurse. Don’t worry, the doctors will do their best... Who is she to you?"

I said, "A friend. She’s my only best friend..."

I couldn’t help but sob.

"Don’t cry, don’t cry..."

The nurse called over an older nurse, pointed at me, and said, "They’re friends." Then she hurried away.

The older nurse asked why Juan’s family hadn’t arrived yet.

I explained that they couldn’t come. Juan only had me as a friend in Shenzhen, so she could consider me her family.

She pondered for a moment and asked, "Can you sign the risk agreement then? You should know that with someone signing, the doctors can proceed without any pressure."

I understood the implication behind her words. There was no time to think or hesitate. I immediately took the pen and signed.

"There’s also the most important thing—you need to pay a 20,000 yuan deposit for her first..."

"Now? I didn’t bring any money..."

"Better pay it today. Hurry back and get it. I’m on duty tonight. Come find me in the emergency office when you return. Hurry back quickly!..."

The older nurse finished speaking and hurried away.

I hailed a taxi back to the supermarket and asked the driver to wait. As soon as I entered the store, I found a cloth bag, covered the cash drawer, and poured all the money into it. In truth, there was no real need for such secrecy; I was completely flustered and acting on instinct.

At that moment, only one thought remained in my mind—money was closely tied to Juan’s life, and the more I could gather, the better.

I climbed up to the loft as quickly as possible, retrieved all my bankbooks, pushed aside Little Friend who was trying to be cute, and as soon as my feet touched the ground, I ran outside. After locking the door, I dashed to the waiting taxi.

The first bank was already closed.The second bank was about to close, and they told me it was truly impossible to process a withdrawal for me—the money had already been locked in the vault, and all the computers were shut down. After hearing my explanation, they empathized with my urgency and immediately called the third bank, urging them to wait for me.

At the third bank, I finally managed to withdraw thirty thousand yuan—that was all the cash they had left outside the vault, and they had reserved it all for me.

The loose change in my cloth bag was just enough for the fare.

The person at the hospital’s payment counter said, "Why don’t you pay the full thirty thousand now? Why take ten thousand back with you? She’ll need to be hospitalized next, and no one can predict how long that will be. So, as family, you should prepare more funds as soon as possible."

I paid the thirty thousand and asked how much more was needed.

She said at least another hundred thousand.

At that time, Li Juan was still in the emergency room.

I walked to the outside of the emergency room in a daze and sat alone on the long bench. Having been under intense stress for so long, the moment I sat down, my body and mind felt an immediate sense of exhaustion.

I curled up on the bench and unknowingly fell asleep, only waking when someone else was wheeled into the emergency room. I saw several people standing nearby—a mother and daughter embracing and crying, while the others stared blankly at the emergency room door.

I sprang to my feet and hurried to push the emergency room door, but it was locked from the inside.

A man shouted harshly at me, "What are you doing?!"

"I... my friend is in there too, I wanted to ask..."

Before I could finish, the woman who appeared to be the daughter, in her thirties, also yelled at me, "Are you crazy? How could your friend be in there? Get out of here and stop bothering us!..."

I glared at her, momentarily at a loss for words. Just then, a nurse hurried over, and I quickly approached her to ask.

The nurse walked briskly as she said, "I don’t know anything, ask the intensive care unit... Which of you is the family representative? Please sign the agreement..."

The nurse was immediately surrounded by the family members.

"Is it Li Juan? Stab wound, right? Her left kidney was removed, but the surgery went smoothly. She’s likely out of danger, though still under anesthesia. You can come see her tomorrow afternoon..."

Through the glass barrier with a small intercom hole, I finally heard the outcome. Grief and relief washed over me, and tears streamed down my face once more. I grieved that Li Juan would now have only one kidney, but I was relieved that she was out of mortal danger.

I don’t know how much time passed before the nurse emerged from the intensive care unit. Seeing me still sitting dazedly on the bench, she stopped and asked, "What is Li Juan to you?"

I said, "She’s my sister."

She asked again, "Are your parents out of town?"

I nodded.

She advised, "Go home, girl. Even if you sit here until dawn, it won’t help your sister at all..."

It was already past midnight, and I couldn’t find a taxi, so I walked back to the supermarket.

I turned on the light, locked the door, and Little Friend immediately ran over, meowing and rubbing against my pant leg. I suddenly realized that from the moment the incident happened until now, I had almost completely forgotten about its existence. I quickly checked its bowl—sure enough, there was no food or water left. After refilling its food and water and cleaning its litter box, I climbed onto the loft bed and collapsed—it really felt like I had crawled up there, my body completely spent, with no strength left at all.I lay there thinking—if we pooled all the money Juan and I currently had, it would amount to around seventy or eighty thousand yuan. If that still wasn’t enough to cover Juan’s hospitalization fees, then the only option would be to sell the supermarket as well. At worst, we could start all over again from scratch. We were both young, so there was nothing to fear. If even that wasn’t enough, then borrowing would be the only way.

I found it difficult to ask Gao Xiang for help—photographers are probably the most impoverished among all artists. Fortunately, he was a government employee with a steady salary, and he also owned small photography studios in Shanghai and Shenzhen, which provided additional income. Otherwise, relying solely on selling his works, he might have struggled just to support himself. Besides, he still had to take care of his elderly mother, and his cousin, who had been laid off, hadn’t found stable work and often relied on his support.

I hadn’t considered all these things before deciding to be with him. But since we had already fallen in love, I had to embrace his poverty as well.

Zhang Jiagui, “Brother Zhang,” had returned to Shenxianding—his ties to Shenxianding were quite close. Before leaving, he mentioned that the village had asked him to sponsor a project aimed at helping people get rich, and he had to go back to assess it. Otherwise, the sponsorship money might end up being wasted without a trace.

“In Shenzhen, I’m just a small business owner, but to the people of Shenxianding, I’m an entrepreneur, one of the first to get rich. When my hometown asks for help, how can I refuse? Otherwise, how could I ever go back to Shenxianding? Wan Zhi, remember this: it’s best not to let the people of Shenxianding know about you and Li Juan running this supermarket. Once they find out, what will you do if they ask you to contribute someday? Too little would be embarrassing, too much would be unaffordable. And if you don’t contribute at all, what will they think of you? So, when it comes to the people of Shenxianding, just tell them you’ve been working in Shenzhen all along. Don’t feel ashamed about saying that—pride can be a heavy burden. For ordinary people like us trying to make it outside, pride is the least important thing…”

His words were earnest yet tinged with bitterness and helplessness. Even if he were in Shenzhen, I wouldn’t want to ask him for help, let alone now that he was gone.

In a desperate situation, there was only one person I could turn to—my “Mayor Father.”

Thank heavens that someone like me, who should have been from Shenxianding, actually had a “Mayor Father.” At most, the odds of something like this happening probably don’t exceed one in a million, right? But among billions of people, wouldn’t there still be a thousand or so? How could that be possible! If it weren’t for “Principal Mother” and “Mayor Father,” I might have already married a man from Shenxianding and given birth to a little Shenxianding child. The man I married might have resembled my eldest sister’s husband in many ways, or even my second sister’s husband. And I might have ended up like my second sister in many ways. If I didn’t want to be like her, then I might have gone mad like my eldest sister…

With the light on, I fell asleep again, holding “Little Friend” tightly, filled with an overwhelming sense of luck.

The first thing I did the next morning was call my adoptive father. Since getting a mobile phone, it had become much easier to reach him, as he was required to keep his phone on at all times for work.

My adoptive father was brushing his teeth and said he’d call me back in a few minutes.

“That Li Juan you mentioned—have you been living with her all along? How should Dad understand the closeness of your relationship? Don’t cry, even if a good friend is hospitalized, it’s not that serious… Don’t worry, don’t worry, explain it slowly…”My adoptive father asked in great detail. The more detailed his questions, the more annoyed I became with my answers, the more vague my explanations, and the more suspicious he grew.

"Good daughter, forgive your dad, okay? I have to go to a meeting now—the car is here. I'll call you back at noon..."

Only after he hung up did I realize he had imagined Juan and me to be in a lesbian relationship. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

That morning, I dutifully minded the store, serving over a dozen customers and collecting three to four hundred yuan. I saw every yuan as more precious than ever, and I imagine my expression while taking money could be described as "eyes lighting up at the sight of cash"—no wonder some customers looked surprised.

At noon, my adoptive father called as promised.

He said, "Daughter, Dad's entire noon belongs to you..."

So, like someone recounting history, I told him the whole story of my relationship with Juan from the beginning.

"Anything to add?"

"Nothing."

"Daughter, you did the right thing. Dad supports you. Of course, I have some savings. From now on, for your good friend, you can withdraw from it anytime..."

His words were like a reassurance pill for me.

When I visited Li Juan that afternoon, her biggest worry was also the rescue and hospitalization fees.

I said, "Just focus on recovering in the hospital. Everything is no trouble for me."

She smiled bitterly and said, "Friends can sometimes be trouble-makers. Since you're stuck with it, you just have to accept it."

That street bloodshed became news, even making it into newspapers and on TV.

Every time I visited Juan, some medical staff and patients would look at me with the curious gaze reserved for lesbians. I could only ignore them and carry on as usual. When I fed Juan soup, patients from other wards would even push the door open a crack and peek inside.

A few days later, Gao Xiang returned from Tibet. Director Xu had already told him everything.

As soon as we met, he hugged me and asked why I hadn't told him.

I said, "You were too far away. I could handle it myself."

By then, I had already pulled myself out of the initial panic and had a "prepared plan." Still, Gao Xiang's return gave me even more confidence.

He asked, "Does Li Juan have medical insurance?"

I said, "No. Even I only realized after this incident that I must get insurance myself."

He said, "Not having insurance is a big problem when you can't solve immediate issues. But don't worry, I'll take care of everything."

He spoke as if he were some kind of expert.

Gao Xiang, this Shanghai man, was by no means a foodie. In fact, you could say he had no demands when it came to food—as long as he wasn't hungry, he could eat almost anything. However, he was quite skilled in the kitchen. His small photo studio was converted from a three-bedroom apartment, complete with a bedroom and a decent-sized kitchen. He had another chance to show off his skills, preparing delicious and nutritious meals every other day, which he or I would personally deliver to Juan.

I was afraid to stay alone in the supermarket at night, so he moved in to keep me company—though during the day, he still spent most of his time at the photo studio, as it was more convenient for handling business matters there.On the very first night we lived together, that kind of relationship happened between us—I was already lying on the loft bed, and sharing a bed with a man for the first time made me extremely shy and very unaccustomed to it. It was a strange feeling of nervousness and longing intertwined; men often say women at such times are "pretending," but that's not true at all—it's an instinctive reaction. At first, Juan’s bedding was placed very close to mine, so we could talk more easily. Before Gao Xiang came up, I moved the other bedding farther away. Even I felt that what I was doing was clearly pretending. But pretending seemed entirely necessary, and as I did it, I mocked my own hypocrisy.

After Gao Xiang washed his feet and climbed onto the loft bed, he pulled Juan’s bedding back next to mine. When he did that, he wasn’t "pretending" at all, as if that was the right way for us to sleep. He quickly stripped down to just his shorts. I stole a glance at him and saw he showed no embarrassment, as if I were a man. Suddenly remembering something, he grabbed his shirt. I closed my eyes.

He gently nudged me.

I had to open my eyes.

He handed me a card, saying there were over twenty thousand yuan in it, which could be withdrawn from an ATM, for me to use in emergencies.

I refused, but he insisted.

In the back-and-forth of giving and pushing, I sat up.

I was only wearing a bra on my upper body; he stared at me for a few seconds, then suddenly embraced me and pressed me down.

That was exactly what I longed for, so all the so-called nervousness vanished, and even my shyness disappeared completely. My entire being was filled with nothing but longing.

At first, I did repeatedly say "no," but even I could hear the strong undertone of "yes," and at the same time, my arms tightly wrapped around him...

My first time happened just like that, on the loft bed of the small supermarket, while my good friend Li Juan was hospitalized after being stabbed, and with my half-hearted resistance. It started on my mattress, and later, as we rolled around, it continued on Juan’s mattress—fortunately, my first blood only stained my bedsheet, not Juan’s as well.

After our breathing calmed down, he, drenched in sweat, held me, also drenched in sweat, and said, "It’s okay, I’ll wash them tomorrow."

But I said, "Oh no."

He asked, "What’s wrong?"

I said, "We didn’t take any precautions; I might get pregnant. If that really happens, it’s really bad timing."

He said, "It’s indeed not the best timing. If it really happens, we’ll just have to treat it as a good thing..."

"No, it won’t!"

I interrupted him, broke free from his embrace, and climbed down from the loft bed naked.

"Don’t catch a cold!"

He threw down a piece of clothing.

I remembered our small shop also had contraceptives, and more than one kind. There was one that could be taken within seventy-two hours after the act and still be effective. Li Juan was truly Li Juan—she made our tiny supermarket almost all-encompassing, with several types of contraceptives and condoms placed in the most visible spot—right next to the small checkout counter.

As I took the pill, Gao Xiang said, "Then I don’t feel guilty anymore."

After drinking half a bottle of water, I said, "But I feel a little guilty. At a time like this, am I being unfair to Li Juan? Poor thing, she’s still lying in the hospital..."

"What nonsense! How could you think that? It’s two completely different things! They’re entirely unrelated. Get rid of this hypocritical moral thinking right now!..."

The shirt slipped off me, and he draped it over my shoulders. It was amazing—I no longer felt the slightest bit shy being naked in front of him. I, too, had been changed by sex; I was truly a woman now.Gao Xiang "liberated" me morally. With ample medicine and condoms at "home," we spent consecutive nights in ceaseless passion, to the point where even "Little Friend" couldn't bear the disturbance and found another place to sleep.

I used to have a few "little beans" on my face, which often troubled me. One day, after washing my face and looking in the mirror, I was delighted to discover they had all disappeared, leaving my skin smooth and flawless.

I couldn't help but embrace Gao Xiang, giving him a deep kiss that left him utterly bewildered.

Li Juan also noticed the change in me and quietly asked, "Have you two done it?"

I answered honestly, "Many times."

She smiled and said, "Enjoy it well. Come here less often from now on, and spend more time with him."

I never expected that one afternoon, my Adoptive Father would suddenly appear before me.

His first words to me were, "My daughter seems to be in good spirits."

Surprised, I asked him why he had come to Shenzhen.

He said he was here to "learn from experience"—someone like him couldn't help but say things he didn't mean, and when he did, his brows would inevitably furrow slightly, followed by a forced smile.

"If you can't tell lies, then don't. Why torture yourself? Can't you see your reluctance is written all over your face?"—"Principal Mother" had mocked him more than once.

But he would say, "How could I not know at all? Of course I do. But I won't change it. The least necessary thing to improve is the skill of saying things against my will. I have no ambition in that regard. Deliberately showing reluctance is also a way of holding back, and it can earn a bit of sympathy."

Indeed, when he wore that expression while receiving visitors at home, they would often stop insisting, smile apologetically, and show understanding tinged with sympathy.

When he said he had come to Shenzhen to "learn from experience," that same expression appeared on his face.

So I guessed he had come specifically for my "problem."

He said Yu County should award me a publicity prize because our little supermarket had essentially advertised Shenxian Peak in Shenzhen.

He "inspected" the supermarket, asked about the income situation, and nodded approvingly. "Not bad, not bad. My daughter has her own career now."

I said, "What kind of career is this? It's just a way to make a living."

He lectured, "For many young migrant workers, making a living is no easy task. After becoming self-employed, even if the endeavor seems small and insignificant to others, you must treat it as a career. Without this kind of effort, nothing can be done well. Career, career—all endeavors begin with a task."

It had been a long time since I had listened to his teachings in person, and I felt a quiet joy.

He looked at the loft bed and asked, "You and your old friend Li Juan, you two sleep up there at night?"

I said, "Yes."

I could tell he still had doubts about whether it was a "homosexual" relationship. However, I didn't feel resentful—I simply found this "Mayor Father" of mine amusingly endearing.

"May I go up and take a look?"

His expression as he gazed at the loft bed was like that of a polite detective.

I said, "Of course, Dad, please."

He was a tall man, and unless he crawled, he clearly couldn't achieve his goal. He knew his limits, though, and only stood on the small ladder to look, not climbing up.

Gao Xiang and I had been sleeping up there every night, and the loft bed clearly showed signs of two people sharing it.

When his feet touched the ground again, his face was filled with worry, and he made no effort to hide it.I was about to explain when Gao Xiang arrived.

I introduced him: "This is my boyfriend, or you could consider him my fiancé."

He asked solemnly in return: "And in reality?"

Having heard me speak of him many times, Gao Xiang had already guessed who stood before him and said with a smile: "In reality, the only thing missing between us is the marriage certificate."

Gao Xiang's words completely dispelled the doubts about "homosexuality" in my adoptive father's mind—those doubts must have been like a bone stuck in his throat, making him feel terrible. Gao Xiang's appearance saved me the trouble; no further explanation was needed. His expression brightened instantly, all the dark clouds on his face swept away.

Thus, the two men exchanged names, not only shaking hands but also embracing each other.

Hearing me mention that Gao Xiang was a photographer, my adoptive father became interested and asked to visit his studio.

Inside the studio, Gao Xiang pulled out his published photography collections, monographs, and award certificates to show his prospective father-in-law. My adoptive father was overjoyed and delighted.

During dinner, the two of them moved from photography to topics like regional landscapes, local customs, heritage preservation, tourism economics, poverty alleviation priorities, and so on. They chatted enthusiastically, unable to stop, leaving almost no room for me to speak.

That night, my adoptive father stayed with Gao Xiang at the studio. This further proved that the so-called "learning experience" was entirely an excuse—if he had come to Shenzhen on official business, someone of his status would never casually stay in a private residence.

The next morning, as soon as my adoptive father saw me, he happily said, "Daughter, your old man congratulates you on finding an ideal and outstanding partner!"

I don’t know what Gao Xiang and he talked about that night, but it left him with the joyful feeling of having met a kindred spirit, as if they had connected too late in life.

In the afternoon, he insisted on visiting Li Juan. This request had nothing to do with the "homosexuality" suspicion anymore. There was no strong reason to refuse him.

By then, Li Juan had gradually recovered and could sit up and talk.

My adoptive father’s visit naturally made her exceptionally happy, and she chatted very actively. Juan was an open and tactful girl, especially in front of respected elders, where she spoke even more openly and appropriately. As for my adoptive father, the more ordinary the person, the more amiable and kind he became. Moreover, he particularly liked open and candid young people. The two of them chatted very harmoniously.

Before leaving, my adoptive father said to her, "Juan, take good care of Wan Zhi for me, okay? I’m counting on you."

Juan replied, "Oh, Uncle, you’re too kind. These days, she’s been the one taking care of me."

My adoptive father said, "She should repay you now too. I mean in the future and beyond. I hope your friendship lasts a lifetime."

Juan said, "Wan Zhi’s personality is a bit like Bai Suzhen’s. I’d like to be Xiaoqing."

"Oh, oh..."

Juan’s words left my usually eloquent adoptive father at a loss for words. He couldn’t help but lean down and kiss her forehead.

After leaving the ward, my adoptive father said to me in the hallway, "Just based on Li Juan taking a knife for Qian Qian, she is not only worth your deep friendship but also your respect. Nowadays, having a friend worthy of your respect is rare. Cherish your friendship."

Because my relationship with Juan was neither that of sisters nor fellow townspeople, and it was also tied to a street stabbing incident, when I visited Juan alone, the "homosexuality" speculation was almost confirmed. When Gao Xiang also went to visit Juan, that suspicion escalated to something "promiscuous." But as soon as my adoptive father appeared, his demeanor made it impossible for anyone not to guess he was an active official. The suspicions naturally dissipated. When I went to visit Juan again, a nurse even said, "Xiaoqing, Bai Suzhen is here to see you!"—making all the other patients laugh.

In the days that followed, in that hospital ward, friendship became something truly enviable.

And that evening, at the studio, in front of Gao Xiang, my adoptive father talked to me about some things I knew nothing about.He said that he had secretly looked after those in Shenxianding who were related to me by blood. When he was in charge of building the Linjiang Bridge and the Linyu Highway, he specifically instructed people to recruit my eldest sister's husband and second sister's husband from Shenxianding as temporary workers. He said my eldest sister's husband was decent enough—once he had money to earn, he settled down. My second sister's husband, however, was truly not a good person and caused him quite a bit of trouble. What happened later was almost inevitable.

He said that after my biological father passed away, my eldest sister's husband had someone deliver a letter to him, hoping he would attend the funeral. He didn’t go, but he provided a sum of money for the funeral expenses.

"I never met your biological father and knew nothing about him. If I had gone, wouldn’t they have expected me to say a few words? Could I have refused to speak? But what could I have said? Even if I said nothing and just attended, wouldn’t it have spread afterward? It’s hard to stop people from talking, and who knows how the story would have been twisted? It wouldn’t have been good for me, and it wouldn’t have been good for Wan Zhi either, right?..."

Both Gao Xiang and I agreed that it was right for him not to attend.

As for my "decent enough" eldest sister's husband, I developed another unfavorable opinion of him in my heart.

On the other hand, my adoptive father was very supportive of my efforts to help Yang Hui and Zhao Kai.

He said, "Consider it as helping relatives in poverty. China has many impoverished people, mostly in rural areas. Relying solely on government funding is certainly insufficient. Those with the means should help their relatives in financial hardship—isn’t that entirely appropriate? However, neither of you are among those who have become wealthy first. After you start your own families, your capacity to help will be even more limited. Do what you can within your means. When helping the poor, focus on helping people; when helping people, prioritize the next generation; when helping the next generation, prioritize their education. Not just you two—even I can only help my poor relatives based on this principle!..."

As he spoke, he choked up several times.

He left the next morning.

At the airport, my adoptive father hugged me and said, "Daughter, this trip was not in vain for me, because I saw with my own eyes that you have built a small career of your own, found the most suitable partner, and have a friend as close as a sibling. Moreover, you’re still attending night school. I am at ease. If your 'Principal Mother' were watching from beyond, she would be very happy too. Since you’ve already become a Shenzhen resident, live well in Shenzhen. When you’re not too busy, come back to Yuxian to visit your dad. That would make me overjoyed..."

His words brought tears to my eyes.

On the way back, I discovered an envelope in my pocket with a card inside.

Gao Xiang said, "Send it back to your dad."

I said, "What if we really need it?"

He said, "You have me."

I said, "At least check how much is on it?"

He got angry and scolded, "Why check? Is that necessary? Didn’t you hear him say he also has poor relatives? Probably quite a few! Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of sending it back."

He snatched the card away.

I said, "Shouldn’t I at least write a letter to my dad before sending it back?"

He said, "Don’t write the letter either. You won’t write it well. I’ll write it too."My adoptive father was no longer the mayor by then; he had moved to the People's Congress as a deputy director. I knew he had always hoped to serve a term as party secretary, and at one point, his prospects seemed particularly bright. But mainly due to his outspoken advocacy for abolishing the agricultural tax, he suddenly became a controversial figure. He was under considerable pressure and not at all happy. He said he would retire in another two years and could then live a carefree life, visiting me in Shenzhen more often. During this time together, he referred to himself less as "Dad" and more as "your old man." He also called me "daughter" less frequently, using "Wan Zhi" more often instead. I thought perhaps he believed I was increasingly becoming not just his daughter but also someone else's beloved or something of that sort.

I reflected that I couldn’t write a letter that both returned the card and spared my adoptive father’s pride. Since Gao Xiang got along well with him, it was clearly better for him to write such a letter. So I stopped arguing, and he agreed.

In the days that followed, the small supermarket became like a stage for Teahouse, with various people connected or indirectly related to the street stabbing incident making their appearances one after another.

The first to appear was Uncle Liu. As soon as he saw me, he knelt down, startling Gao Xiang so much that he dropped what he was holding and hurriedly helped him up.

Uncle Liu, tears streaming down his face, begged me and Li Juan not to press charges, so that Liu Zhu wouldn’t be sentenced.

"Can I cover all the surgery and hospitalization costs? Xiao Fang, if Liu Zhu is sentenced, what will happen to the child? Won’t they be without both a mother and a father for years? Isn’t the impact on the child’s future obvious? The child has done nothing wrong!..." As Uncle Liu spoke, he tried to kneel again, crying and sniffling.

Gao Xiang comforted him a few words, then pulled me aside and whispered, "The old man has a point. Legally speaking, a private settlement is possible."

I said, "Then agree on behalf of me and Li Juan."

Gao Xiang replied, "I have no authority to agree to anything, and neither do you. The victim is Li Juan; only her consent matters."

So I assured Uncle Liu that I would do my best to persuade Li Juan to accept a "private settlement."

"Ah, this Liu Zhu, how could he be so reckless? Thankfully, no one died. If someone had died, whether it was me or Qian Qian, wouldn’t it be too late for him to regret it? Wouldn’t Uncle Liu kneeling before you be useless then?..."

Li Juan readily wrote me a "power of attorney."

She asked, "Any news about Qian Qian?"

I said, "She’s disappeared again."

She smiled bitterly and said, "Don’t worry, this time Qian Qian won’t be gone for long. I think she’s just hiding out of fear for now."

I asked skeptically, "Do you really think she’ll show up in front of us again?"

She thought for a moment and said firmly, "Yes. Sooner or later. I understand her better than you do."

During those days, another frustrating thing happened—the supermarket’s owner, in urgent need of money, decided to sell the storefront. That meant he wouldn’t renew the contract by the end of the year, and Li Juan and I would have to clear out the supermarket. With so much stock, where could I move it all? And what a severe financial loss it would cause for both me and Juan!

Several times, I almost brought it up but held back, afraid Juan would also start to worry—how could she not be anxious upon hearing this?In the following days, Gao Xiang and I were too busy to deal with the "private settlement" matter. We each went around the city separately, trying to find a place in advance to store the goods, but we were disappointed. There were places available, but the rent was too high, beyond our financial means.

I complained to Gao Xiang that he shouldn’t have sent away my adoptive father’s card.

He wasn’t angry and comforted me like this: "You’re already an adult. When you face difficulties in the future, don’t always rely on your adoptive father. What if you didn’t have such an adoptive father? Besides, he’s your adoptive father—aren’t you ashamed to keep spending his money? Where would my face be? There’s always a way out when you reach the foot of the mountain. No matter how difficult the obstacle is, we’ll overcome it together. Even if I have to carry you forward, that’s what I should do, not someone else."

The next morning, the police called and asked me to come immediately to discuss something.

Gao Xiang went with me.

The police said that Zhang Qianqian’s lawyer had come to the station and declared that she would take full financial responsibility. So, considering the child, they had released Liu Zhu. The father and son were taken away by Uncle Liu.

"Liu Zhu is a farmer, while Zhang Qianqian has a strong ability to bear financial responsibility. Li Juan was stabbed while protecting her. We think this way of private settlement is better for all three parties..."

"Completely agree!" Gao Xiang couldn’t wait to speak up first.

The police officer asked who he was.

I said, "He’s my husband and also the lawyer for me and Li Juan." So, on behalf of Li Juan, I signed a few pages and pressed a red fingerprint.

On the way out of the police station, Gao Xiang said with relief, "This is good. Very good, very good. There’s always a way out when you reach the foot of the mountain. Don’t you believe it now?"

Gao Xiang said, "The police will make her appear when the time comes."

But there was no need for the police to do so—Qianqian appeared on her own. When Gao Xiang and I returned to the supermarket, we saw Qianqian pacing in front of the door.

She said she was afraid of attracting attention, so she didn’t come in her red sports car. She wanted to find a place to talk with me.

I said to Gao Xiang, "This is a matter between us sisters now. Don’t get involved. Just watch the store for me."

Gao Xiang said, "As you wish."

I then invited Qianqian up to the loft.

When Gao Xiang brought drinks, Qianqian said, "I didn’t bring cigarettes. Bring me a good pack."

Gao Xiang brought the best pack of cigarettes from the store.

While Qianqian smoked, I sat upright and said, "Let’s begin."

She gave me a sidelong glance and chided, "What’s the hurry? Let me calm down, okay?"

I felt embarrassed and whispered, "Okay."

"I’ve never discussed serious matters with someone in a place like this."

"Juan and I sleep here at night."

"Not just with Juan, right?"

"Now with him. I’m scared at night without him."

"You two... officially?"

"We’ll get our marriage certificate after Juan is discharged from the hospital."

"An artist?"

"A photographer."

"A master?"

"Yes. Vice Chairman of the Shanghai Photographers Association."

"Quite refined. Are you satisfied?"

"He suits me."

"Why haven’t I seen the 'Little Friend'?"

"Who knows where the cat’s hiding. It’s doing fine. Juan and I won’t abandon it... Let’s talk business."

"You sound like Juan’s lawyer now. Your tone is the same.""Now I have to take over as the proxy. I'm not used to discussing serious matters in a place like this either, so let's get started." I was growing impatient with Qian Qian's rambling.

"Three years ago, what kind of relationship did the three of us sisters have? Who would have thought it would end up like this now, sigh..." Qian Qian stubbed out her cigarette and sighed.

I said angrily, "Can you blame me? Can you blame Juan?..."

"Don't get upset, of course it's my fault, all of it is my fault. But you have to give me a chance to explain from the beginning, otherwise I'll feel wronged too. And you can't interrupt me while I'm talking..."

"Go ahead, go ahead, I'm all ears." I was losing patience.

"Liu Zhu and I, back then, it really was mutual consent. But on my part, I definitely wasn't serious. Could I have ended up with him? At that time, the work was exhausting, and I was lonely, feeling empty inside. I always made him take precautions, but once I was careless, and I ended up pregnant. If I didn't go back to his hometown to have the child, what other choice did I have? As for my relationship with my current gentleman, to be honest, it's not legitimate. I'm the other woman, the mistress, he's keeping me. For someone like me, being kept is already something to be thankful for. Between being kept and working hard, I chose the former life without hesitation, and I'll never regret it. Besides, he likes me and is willing to spend money on me. He gave Liu Zhu two hundred thousand for me to end the relationship. Is two hundred thousand little? Not really, right? Not to mention I gave the Liu family a healthy baby boy, and he slept with me for over a year for free—clearly, I'm the one at a loss! I couldn't keep the child; dragging around a 'soy sauce bottle' would make it hard to be a good mistress, and besides, the Liu family wouldn't have given him up anyway. Whether I'll acknowledge the child in the future is another matter..."

"Don't tell me this! I don't want to hear it!..." I lost control for a moment, covering my ears and shouting.

Immediately, Gao Xiang's reproachful voice came through: "Wan Zhi, what are you shouting about? Talk properly. It's wrong of you to yell like that..."

Qian Qian took a small sip of tea and lit another cigarette. This time, she took out a slender case from her small bag. I thought she had even brought a special pen for signing, but instead, she pulled out a jade cigarette holder from the case.

Gao Xiang's words snapped me back to my senses.

I whispered, "I'm sorry."

At that moment, I suddenly thought of Yao Yun.

I asked myself—what exactly is the difference between Qian Qian and Yao Yun? Why do I sympathize with Yao Yun but have the complete opposite attitude toward Qian Qian? Why do I think Yao Yun is essentially a good woman but consider Qian Qian shameless? Is Qian Qian really that bad at heart? Clearly, when Qian Qian spoke, her attitude was just as honest as Yao Yun's! If Qian Qian hadn't come to see Juan and me in a car but had shown up with a child and no money, seeking shelter, I would have surely felt sorry for her. Why can I care for a Qian Qian whose fate is worse than mine but find it hard to tolerate a Qian Qian who actively takes responsibility?

I couldn't understand myself anymore, and for a moment, I couldn't distinguish right from wrong.

"I'm sorry... Qian Qian, I'm sorry, I... you're my and Juan's sister... you... I..." I became incoherent, tears streaming down my face.Just think about it—a sister who once shared both joys and sorrows with me, whom I invited into my most private space, the loft bed where no one but Juan and Gao Xiang was ever allowed, yet all she wanted was to engage in a fierce verbal battle over compensation. How utterly awkward and infuriating it was!

Yes, I was seething inside too. The fact that Qian Qian only showed up now and spent so much time beating around the bush without getting to the point was naturally a reason for my anger, but it didn’t seem to be the main one—after all, we were bound to face this sooner or later; otherwise, why would she have shown up at all? If we really got into it, for Juan’s sake, I couldn’t possibly avoid tearing into her and arguing fiercely. Yet there seemed to be another reason, something within myself—what exactly was it? I was furious because I desperately wanted to understand but couldn’t.

Qian Qian, however, wasn’t angry. Holding a slender jade cigarette holder in one hand and lifting a small teacup with the other, she took a sip and calmly said, “It’s fine, I understand. It’s all my fault, entirely my fault. No matter how you treat me, you’re in the right, and I’m in the wrong. I deserve it. How about this? As for Liu Zhu, I gave him another hundred thousand yuan, and he promised he’d never harass you or Juan again because of me. As for you two, I’ll cover all of Juan’s emergency and hospitalization expenses…”

She looked at me, waiting for my response.

I asked, “Is that all?”

She replied, “What else should I do? Tell me. You have to understand, this is the first time I’ve dealt with something like this. I hope I can handle it properly, but I don’t know how…”

I asked, “Do you know Juan lost a kidney because of you?”

She said, “I know.” Her eyes welled up with tears, but they didn’t spill over. She didn’t look away, still staring at me.

Hardening my heart, I asked again, “She’s only in her twenties. Do you know how much harm that will do to her body?”

She shook her head but said, “I suppose I do.”

I pressed on, “Do you know how much a kidney is worth?”

“How much?” Her eyes widened, and the tears vanished. She hadn’t even wiped her eyes—where did the tears go? How strange.

“I’ve looked into it. If someone needs a kidney transplant, it costs at least three hundred thousand yuan…”

Her eyes widened even further.

Then, I told her about the owner of the small supermarket deciding to sell the property. Because of the urgent need for money, anyone offering around three hundred thousand could buy it. I said I believed the most fitting thing Zhang Qianqian could do for Juan was to buy the small supermarket’s property for her. Whether out of sentiment or reason, she should do it.

After hearing me out, Qian Qian lowered her gaze, took two deep puffs of her cigarette, pondered for a moment, then looked up and said softly, “Wan Zhi, you have to understand too. If that man gets tired of spending money on me and kicks me to the curb one day, my life will be miserable. I never want to go back to the kind of life we lived when we were working odd jobs…”

I turned my face away and whispered, “Let’s talk business.”

“Alright, I’ll try my best to follow your plan, I…”

I interrupted, “It’s not about trying or not trying. I want a guarantee.”

“Fine, I guarantee it.”

I didn’t look at her again, unsure of the expression on her face.

As Qian Qian was about to leave, she said to me, “Give me a hug.”

Her eyes were teary again at that moment.

I hugged Qian Qian.

She held me tightly.She said, "Wan Zhi, you and Juan, you two are my best friends. Up until now, besides you two, I, Zhang Qianqian, have no other friends. I love you both, and I only wanted you to share in my good fortune. I never expected things to turn out like this..." She spoke softly in my ear, and by the end, she was crying.

I said, "Gao Xiang, please see Qian Qian out for me."

After Gao Xiang accompanied Qian Qian out, I climbed up to the bunk bed, hugged my pillow, and cried my eyes out.

When Gao Xiang returned, he criticized me: "Of course, the problem needs to be resolved, but feelings should also be cherished. Some things aren't meant to be discussed the way you did!"

I retorted, "No one ever taught me, and you didn't either!"

He said, "If you haven't experienced it yourself, why not let me help you talk? What's the point of being stubborn? When someone hurts your heart, you need to learn to forgive; when you hurt someone else's heart, you need to know how to reflect. Understand?"

I lowered my head. "I don't need your lectures."

That evening, however, I couldn't help but beg him to help me analyze why my attitude toward Yao Yun and Qian Qian was so different.

He asked, "Do you really want to hear it?"

I said, "Very much."

He said, "Honest advice is hard to take, but listen—people feel better about themselves than others, even if only slightly, mainly due to three things: first, morality; second, current circumstances; third, skills. Both you and Yao Yun are among the skill-less. When you face Yao Yun, even though you were at a low point in your life, you still held advantages in both morality and circumstances. Morally, you had an absolute advantage; in terms of circumstances, you had a slight edge. It was that absolute plus slight advantage that made you feel more sympathy than disdain for Yao Yun..."

"Not less—none at all!"

"Don't interrupt me! None at all, then none at all. Qian Qian is also someone without skills. When you face Qian Qian again, her living circumstances have far surpassed yours and Li Juan's, and no matter how hard you two try, you may never catch up, let alone surpass her. This is what you find hard to accept. Common sense tells us that ordinary people struggle to accept when someone who was once just like them, no better in any way, and whom they know well, suddenly far surpasses them one day. What's especially intolerable is being far surpassed in living circumstances. This leads to psychological imbalance, sometimes severe imbalance—this is your state of mind when facing Qian Qian. When you first felt this imbalance, my words calmed you for a while, preventing it from becoming severe. So you tried to stand on the moral high ground to regain psychological balance. Yet you felt that when moral superiority faces the superiority of living circumstances, the pressure from the latter's gap feels so tangible, while the former's superiority seems so hollow. Because the latter is a comparison of material against material, substance against substance. The former is a comparison of the abstract against the abstract, even a highly metaphysical one. In your view, Qian Qian's life strategy is despicable, but you can no longer find that sense of superiority you felt when facing Yao Yun. You don't understand why, so you're angry. I can analyze it clearly for you—this is what they call 'the onlooker sees the game best, the player is lost in it'..."

During his lengthy discourse, I didn't interrupt again. Because every word he spoke hit the mark of my current state of mind—unwilling to listen, yet wanting to hear. Only when he stopped did I ask, "Finished analyzing?"

He said, "Done. A friendly service, free of charge."

I asked again, "Have you studied psychology?"

He said, "Psychology close to science is the study of mental illness. What's generally called psychological analysis is common sense about human nature—fortune-telling experts are masters in this field. As for me, I'm just someone who understands common human nature a bit better."

I said, "That's terrifying."

He asked, "What?"

I said, "Common human nature."

He said, "I'm the opposite of you. Precisely because I understand common human nature a bit more, I'd rather view various human phenomena with an attitude of tolerance. Of course, with the premise of excluding those evil, insane, extremely selfish, and ignorant phenomena—like those who feel no guilt trading someone else's life for a cigarette to satisfy their addiction; like those who believe blood-soaked buns can cure tuberculosis; like the phenomenon of crowds gathering to watch a rape in broad daylight..."

"Stop! Let me ask you again, how many times have you analyzed me?!" I grew somewhat flustered and angry."You see, honest advice is hard to take. I warned you first. Why would I always analyze you for no reason? Two people who are truly connected don't need to analyze each other; love blinds the lover's eyes..."

He seemed to realize that his insightful analysis had been inappropriate and wanted to cheer me up.

"Don't touch me!" I rolled away with the blanket, putting distance between us.

"Ah, you, why must your pride be so strong? What's shameful about having your psychology analyzed by your own lover? Even if others don't bother to analyze you, you should often analyze yourself. The first time I analyzed my own psychology was shortly after I became the vice chairman of the Shanghai Photographers Association. One day, I found myself hesitating over this matter—city leaders were going to celebrate the Lantern Festival with representatives from the arts community. The Photographers Association had only one spot, and it was at table two, close to the leaders. But it wasn't me, the young vice chairman with many works, nor was it an older photographer. Instead, it was someone who had been unknown before, had just joined the association, and was even younger than me. What gave him the right? Wasn't it just because a few of his works capturing Shanghai's night scenes had received praise from some leaders? As a result, I felt unbalanced. I had many reasons to object, and each one could be justified openly. As the vice chairman, I should have been happy that a member of our association was being valued. But why wasn't I happy? Instead, I felt upset. I lit a cigarette and sat there thinking about this. Before I finished the cigarette, I understood—it wasn't complicated, just what people commonly call 'green-eyed envy.' We ordinary people can usually view the gains of those who have put in hard work fairly correctly. But those who gain extraordinary benefits through dishonorable means are what truly upset our psychological balance. We shouldn't feel ashamed because of this; it's not our problem, it's society's problem. If everyone turned a blind eye without a care, that would be even more problematic. When undesirable things happen to people close to us, of course, our psychological reactions become particularly conflicted. Darling, what's wrong with analyzing each other through self-analysis? Why get angry?..."

As he spoke, he took hold of my hand, and I didn't pull away. When he finished, he embraced me, and I didn't resist. He kissed me, and I couldn't help but kiss him back.

I thought, I would surely face more things in the future that would upset my psychological balance, so I really did need a husband who was good at analyzing my psychology. He not only analyzed me but also analyzed himself. He wasn't the kind of man who only sees others' flaws but not his own. Moreover, when he explained certain truths, I actually quite enjoyed listening.

So, this man was even more worthy of my love, and I was determined to love him.

After I told Li Juan about Qian Qian's sudden appearance, her first reaction was to laugh happily.

"What did I say? I understand her better, don't I?"

She seemed to have forgotten why she was in the hospital.

When I told her that Qian Qian had promised to cover all the medical expenses, she became even happier.

"I could have guessed even if you didn't say it; otherwise, she wouldn't have sought you out on her own. Ah, this Qian Qian, why not resolve the relationship properly in one go? If she's covering the expenses, I won't worry anymore, and you shouldn't feel guilty either." At that moment, Juan's expression completely relaxed.I said, "I wouldn't feel the least bit sorry!"

Juan didn't comment at all on Qian Qian's life choices, as if there was nothing to discuss.

Since she didn't bring it up, I didn't either.

I didn't tell her about the supermarket property rights, afraid she might object and prevent me from getting things done.

From that day on, Juan's mood improved greatly, and she recovered quickly.

Six or seven days later, a young man dressed in a white-collar company suit, looking efficient and capable, appeared before Gao Xiang and me. He handed me a document bag, saying it was delivered on behalf of Qian Qian.

I asked what it was.

The young man said he didn't know either; he was only responsible for delivering it to me personally.

Gao Xiang and I saw him out the door, and he got into a large Mercedes-Benz.

After we returned to the shop, I looked at the document bag and asked, "Do you think it's good news or bad news?"

Gao Xiang said, "It's unlikely to be bad news, right? I can't think of anything bad it could be."

"Then you look first."

He took the document bag, pulled out a red booklet from inside, flipped through it, and said, "So fast, truly Shenzhen speed."

I asked uneasily, "What is it?"

He handed me the red booklet.

It was the property deed for the supermarket, already transferred to Juan's name.

Holding it, my hands trembled with excitement. My heart was filled with mixed emotions.

Gao Xiang said, "There's also this."

I took a small envelope from Xiang's hands. Inside were an A4 sheet of paper and a savings card.

On the white paper, Qian Qian had written a few lines in childlike handwriting: Dear Juan and Wan Zhi, I'm sorry! Everything is my fault. I've tried my best to atone, and this is all I can do. I hope you two, remembering that we were once sisters, can forgive me. There's 100,000 yuan in the card, as compensation for the emotional distress I caused you both. I didn't set a password, so you should transfer it out promptly. Wishing you both smooth sailing in life!...

That night, I couldn't sleep.

Xiang asked me what was on my mind.

I said there was nothing on my mind now. With no more money worries, there was nothing to fret about.

Xiang said if money could solve all problems, the world would be a simpler place, but unfortunately, that's not the case.

I asked him what he thought of Qian Qian.

After thinking for a moment, he tactfully replied, "I've always been against completely condemning others on moral grounds."