My Destiny

A few days before the end of the year, Li Juan was discharged from the hospital.

"For a while, don’t let her overexert herself. She’ll gradually adjust over time, but be especially careful to avoid nephritis—with only one kidney left, it needs extra care..."

The doctor instructed me as if I were Juan’s family member.

Juan stretched her arms in front of the small supermarket and said emotionally, "I really want to hug it in my arms."

Gao Xiang was prepared and seized the moment to take a photo of Juan.

When I handed her the property deed, she asked in surprise, "How did this happen?" I briefly explained about the landlord wanting to sell the place and Qian Qian offering compensation for emotional distress.

"And what about this card?"

"That’s also compensation for emotional distress..."

I didn’t show Juan the note because it had the words "you two" on it.

Juan took my phone and immediately called Qian Qian—a woman’s voice, not Qian Qian’s, came through, sweet and polite, saying, "I’m sorry, the number you have dialed has been deactivated..."

She looked at me and asked, "Wrong number?"

I said, "No."

She paused for a moment, then asked, "Did you argue with her?"

I also paused, then calmly replied, "Absolutely not. I just advocated for your rights on your behalf."

Gao Xiang said, "I can testify, that’s how it was."

Juan returned the phone to me, lowered her head, and said sadly, "We’re going to lose Qian Qian again."

"You said it yourself—sooner or later, we would lose her." As I said this, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sorrow.

"But... it shouldn’t have been like this... This... this is just too unsettling..." She looked up at me, her eyes reddening.

I said, "Yeah." I gently embraced her.

Xiang said, "Some things can only be left to fate."

Over the course of fifty-some days, the supermarket’s income had dropped by more than half—because I visited Juan every other day, which meant only half a day of business; and with only half a day of operation, the income was roughly less than half.

After Juan returned, we resumed fifteen-hour days. Worried that Juan might overexert herself, I made an arrangement with Xiang: after six in the evening, he would take over the shop for us, and we would go to his photo studio to rest and sleep there. The next day, after breakfast and before opening at eight, we would return to relieve him.

Gradually, the income began to rise, but it never reached its previous level—another supermarket had opened on the same street, and it was larger than ours. Juan was deeply worried, but she never said a word about it. Instead, she comforted me, "Don’t worry. Didn’t your partner say that some things can only be left to fate? We should be grateful to Qian Qian—after all, she relieved us of the pressure of paying rent. So, aside from our meals, daily expenses, and utilities, even a small surplus is enough for me. With over two thousand left each month, that’s more than twenty thousand by year-end. It’s like each of us earning over ten thousand net per year..."

"That’s what I think too."

What I really wanted to say was that I didn’t owe Qian Qian anything. If anyone deserved gratitude, it was Juan—the deed to the shop was bought with her left kidney. Otherwise, if we still had to pay rent every month, the two of us would have been working for almost nothing.

Xiang had visibly lost weight.His small photo studio couldn't stay closed forever either—that would mean paying rent for nothing, and idle rent was no small pressure for him. He operated the studio during the day, then came to the supermarket at six in the evening to relieve Juan and me. In truth, he was the one working fifteen hours a day. Fortunately, he loved reading. When there were no customers, reading anywhere was a spiritual pleasure for him.

Juan once apologized to him, saying, "Sorry, Gao Xiang, for dragging you down. Next life, when looking for a partner, definitely don't choose someone like Wan Zhi—too much self-inflicted hardship, right?"

Xiang chuckled and said, "Already fell in love, what can I do? This lifetime, I accept it. Next lifetime, we'll talk about next lifetime." His laughter resembled my adoptive father's, and so did his appearance.

By chance, he once mentioned that he had secretly asked Director Xu to introduce potential partners to Juan.

I asked, "Why didn't you introduce someone yourself?"

He said, "I'm from out of town. Director Xu knows more people in Shenzhen than I do."

"How do you know what kind of person Juan is looking for?"

He said, "I know better than she does herself."

"Tell me."

"Li Juan is someone who is determined to earn more money through honest labor. But you must understand, for ordinary laborers, earning an extra hundred yuan a month isn't easy. So she needs a husband who can also serve as a business advisor and right-hand man. My dear, forgive my bluntness, but although you and she collaborate sincerely, you are definitely not the best match."

"Why?"

"Because she is the type to charge forward—a decisive woman with a 'do it now' personality and a stronger tolerance for setbacks. You, on the other hand, are more go-with-the-flow, hesitant, and your tolerance for setbacks is far less than hers. Ultimately, your need for money isn't as urgent or intense as hers..."

As I listened, I pondered Xiang's comments, privately admitting that he was quite right—if not for the "factual" relatives on Shenxian Peak who needed my support, and the "factual" responsibility of providing that support, my attitude toward money often resembled "a gentleman's friendship is as light as water"—more plainly put, I didn't want to become busy and exhausted just to earn more money.

Xiang continued, "Since we're on the topic, I might as well be even more straightforward with my opinion. My dear, I think that at an appropriate time, you should terminate your partnership with Li Juan, find an excuse that won't make her suspicious to withdraw your shares, and let Li Juan charge forward alone according to her own wishes. Otherwise, I'm afraid you might become a stumbling block for her. My words aren't very pleasant, but please don't be upset..."

I said, "Of course not! Honest advice may be unpleasant, but it benefits one's actions."

Though I said this, inwardly I was somewhat unconvinced. Because I felt that it was precisely the partnership that gave my friendship with Juan a sense of weathering storms together. For me to destroy this relationship—whether it would be good or bad for our friendship, I wasn't sure.

The next day, the hospital notified Juan to collect the refund—Qian Qian had settled all the expenses, so the money I had previously paid naturally had to be returned to us.

I accompanied Juan and brought the card Qian Qian had given me. The clerk asked whether we wanted cash or to have it transferred to a card.

I suggested transferring it to the card. Juan insisted on cash.

It was a considerable amount—around 130,000 to 140,000 yuan. Fortunately, with hundred-yuan bills, it was just one large bundle and a few smaller ones.The clerk joked, "Look, you're almost emptying our safe. Isn't it unsafe to carry so much cash on the road? I really don't understand you."

Juan pulled me into the women's restroom, took off her coat, slung the money bag diagonally across her body, and then put her coat back on.

I asked, "Juan, what's gotten into you? Why do you have to have cash?"

She said with a grin, "These hands of mine have never touched so much cash before. I just want to experience it."

I scolded, "Then you should work at a bank."

She said, "First, I can't get in—it's a state-owned institution. Second, if I were counting other people's money all day, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to resist the temptation and might one day develop embezzlement thoughts."

"Don't talk nonsense!" I gave her a light slap.

In the taxi, I exchanged a few text messages with Xiang, telling him to go to the supermarket.

Xiang said, "What, am I starting to cover shifts for you two again?"

I said, "Just this morning. We need to temporarily borrow your place. Juan wants to discuss something with me." After closing my phone, I asked Juan what exactly she wanted to discuss with me.

Juan said, "I'm thinking of making a big move." Then she leaned close to my ear and whispered, "Money has warmth. My chest feels all warm and cozy."

Entering the photo studio, Juan locked the door, pulled me into the bedroom, drew the curtains, took off her coat and shoes, sat cross-legged on the bed like an old lady from the Northeast, poured out the money from the bag, broke open the large bundles, and arranged the smaller bundles in two neat rows. She picked up one bundle and kissed it, then motioned for me to sit opposite her. She asked, "How much more money do we have?"

I thought for a moment and said, confused, "A little over twenty thousand."

She asked again, "Including the hundred thousand in the card, that adds up to around two hundred fifty or sixty thousand, right?"

I said, "The hundred thousand in the card is the compensation Qian Qian gave you. It's not our shared money."

She said, "Let's not split hairs for now. First, tell me, what are your plans for our money?"

I said, "I don't have any plans for the time being. Let's stick to the original plan. First, withdraw our respective principal, deposit the rest, and earn some interest."

She asked, "Do you have any immediate need for money?"

I said, "Not really. If I do, the twenty-something thousand in my account should be enough."

She asked again, "Have you thought about it? Because of that other supermarket that's bigger than ours, our future income will likely keep decreasing."

"Just say what you're thinking outright."

The trouble Juan saw was something I had naturally foreseen too, but I truly had no solution. When it came to business, my mind wasn't up to the task, or you could say—my mind simply didn't want to go in that direction. On this point, Gao Xiang hadn't been wrong about me at all.

So Juan began to talk about her "big move"—she said we should use the money we had to rent another place and open a new supermarket. Two hundred fifty or sixty thousand would definitely be enough, and we might even be able to rent a larger storefront...

"First, prepay a year's rent, say a hundred thousand. Then use another hundred thousand for basic renovations. Supermarkets aren't restaurants; we don't need to spend too much on renovations. With the remaining fifty or sixty thousand, we can stock up and get started. Once we have income, we can gradually fill out the inventory..." Juan spoke slowly, pausing after each sentence to observe my reaction. Seeing no obvious opposition on my face, she cautiously continued.

I listened quietly until she finished, then asked with an unchanged expression, "How long do you estimate it will take for us to recoup our investment?"She said, "Optimistically speaking, it will take about two years. To be more conservative, we should be mentally prepared for three years. As for our current supermarket, in my opinion, we shouldn’t keep it open. Since we clearly can’t compete with others, why force ourselves to keep it running? How about opening a pharmacy or a bookstore? On both streets around here, there’s neither a pharmacy nor a bookstore. Opening a pharmacy has higher profits, but the approval process is more complicated, and there are certain qualification requirements. Opening a bookstore also has high profits, but that depends on how many people buy books. If a bookstore opens in a neighborhood with very few readers, it’s almost like opening it for nothing. As for how many people in our neighborhood enjoy reading, that’s for you to find out. In any case, whether it’s a pharmacy or a bookstore, it’ll be cleaner, and we can still sleep in the loft. Without the pressure of rent, you can stay here and manage it. Whether we earn more or less, we’ll accept it calmly. As for me, I’ll take charge of the new supermarket. Wan Zhi, between the two of us, you have the final say. What I’m offering is just an idea—whether it’s feasible or not, you decide."

I couldn’t help but look at Juan with newfound respect. She spoke so logically and convincingly that I had to privately admit that her business acumen was superior to mine. When she said the decision was up to me, it wasn’t just because I had invested more money than her when we opened that small supermarket!

I said, "Juan, I’ll listen to you. Let’s do it."

My agreement stemmed partly from my interest in running a pharmacy or bookstore, and partly from a desire to "get back" at Xiang—I wanted the facts to "slap" him in the face.

After we returned to the supermarket, Juan excitedly repeated her idea to Gao Xiang. Xiang said slowly, "That’s a great idea! But telling me is pointless—what does the esteemed Comrade Wan Zhi think?"

Juan said, "What else could she think? She’s one hundred percent supportive!"

Xiang also looked at me with newfound respect and asked, "Is that true?"

With a solemn expression, I replied, "Yes, does that surprise you, esteemed amateur psychologist?"

Juan asked in confusion, "Why are you two acting so strangely?" Her words made both Xiang and me laugh.

Over the next few days, Xiang often took Juan around the city on his bicycle, just like Juan and I had done before, searching everywhere for a storefront to rent. As for me, I preferred to stay home and watch the shop. Not only was I inexperienced in that matter, but I also had no real interest in it.

Zhao Kai and I often exchanged letters. Encouraging him to study hard became my unavoidable duty as his "de facto" aunt. Naturally, I also took on the responsibility of covering his tuition and living expenses. That didn’t put much financial pressure on me, but I had to overcome the psychological reluctance and discomfort. As Zhao Kai reported better and better academic results, that discomfort gradually faded away.

My second sister wrote me a letter—she said she had "surprisingly" met Zhang Jiagui and seized the opportunity to ask someone to propose a match for her with him. However, Zhang Jiagui didn’t give a clear answer and only left the words "I’ll think about it" before leaving Shenxianding.

Second Sister begged me to "help her win over" Zhang Jiagui."He's fifteen years older than our eldest sister and seventeen years older than me. In terms of age, he's taken advantage of me. I don't mind him being seventeen years older, and I'm the one taking the initiative—what a blessing for him! Wan Zhi, if you can help Second Sister succeed in this matter, I'll not only be grateful to you for this lifetime but also the next. Think about it—won't Second Sister's later years, as well as the future lives of Zhao Jun and Zhao Kai, no longer be your concern? And won't you yourself be free of burdens forever? Back then, he wanted to marry our eldest sister but didn't succeed. Now, if he and I come together, wouldn't that continue the bond between the Zhang and He families? Dear little sister, I beg you—Second Sister bows to you here! I hope you can give me good news..."

My second sister's letter left me feeling very troubled. Every line made me uncomfortable again, especially the phrase "strive for it," which both annoyed and amused me. I tore up the letter, neither showing it to Gao Xiang nor mentioning it to Juan.

Not long after, Zhang Jiagui returned to Shenzhen.

He called me once and said, "I can be of some service to your little supermarket again."

Juan thought the two of us should host a gathering to introduce Zhang Jiagui to Xiang and Director Xu, and to formally express our gratitude for Zhang Jiagui's help.

She said, "But from now on, we can't keep using his car and driver for free. Even though he's willing, we shouldn't take it for granted, especially since he even wastes gasoline every time he helps us! One thing is one thing, don't you think? Consider this: it wasn't easy for him to start that small transportation company, having to maintain both the vehicles and the drivers. Every time, I feel uneasy. Our situation is better now. What do you think about this: let's agree with him that from now on, we'll use his car for deliveries and pay the fees. If he offers a discount, we can accept that. Wouldn't that also support him in return? That little income might not mean much to him, but it would warm both sides' hearts!"

Juan's words deeply resonated with me, and I immediately agreed. I couldn't help but think to myself that if my second sister were even half as reasonable and empathetic as Juan, it wouldn't be in vain for me to acknowledge her as my "de facto" sister. Perhaps then, Zhang Jiagui wouldn't have merely said "I'll consider it" in response to her overtures.

Whether Zhang Jiagui had any real interest in my second sister, I actually couldn't determine. "I'll consider it" might have been a sincere statement, not just an evasion, and that possibility shouldn't be ruled out.

I decided that if, when we met, he brought up the matter on his own, even if he only hinted at the possibility of a union, I would still put in a good word for my second sister. But if he didn't mention it at all, it would prove that while the flower had intentions, the flowing water was indifferent. In that case, I could only pretend to know nothing about it.

Soon, it was Chinese New Year.

On New Year's Eve, the three of us gathered at Xiang's place—Xiang had moved the TV there in advance. Juan and I watched TV while cracking sunflower seeds, and Xiang took some photos of us. Afterward, he put on an apron and sleeves, showcasing his culinary skills as he started cooking. Juan and I continued watching TV. By the time the Spring Festival Gala began, we were already enjoying the feast. When the gala ended, Xiang left amidst the sound of firecrackers, and I kissed him at the door. With him in my life, the new year filled me with immense peace and happiness.

Xiang said, "Don't forget to call your father."I said, "You talk to him, just pass on my greetings."

Xiang insisted, "It should be you."

I replied, "What difference does it make?"

Xiang said seriously, "Listen carefully, it does make a difference. Of course I’ll talk to him, but he’d definitely rather hear your voice!"

I said, "Alright, alright, I’ll do as you say. It’s the New Year, don’t lecture me again."

I pushed him out the door—he had to go mind the shop for Juan and me.

Juan said apologetically, "Maybe I should go back to the shop, and you two stay here. I feel bad making you two spend the evening apart."

I said, "No need to feel guilty, it’s exactly what he wants. Didn’t you see him carrying that thick book?"

Xiang was a bookworm, even more so than me. His interests were boundless—he loved all kinds of books, enjoyed collecting old ones, and sometimes even paid high prices for them.

When I called my Adoptive Father, it was lively on his end. As usual, he had returned to his hometown for the Spring Festival and was surely enjoying himself, speaking loudly as he passed the phone to one relative after another for me to "say a few words"—naturally, I had to warmly exchange New Year’s greetings with these rural relatives I’d never met. By the end, my words became repetitive and insincere; whatever they said went in one ear and out the other, and I couldn’t remember any of it.

But I wasn’t just going through the motions; I was genuinely happy to talk to each of my Adoptive Father’s relatives—his family was my family too! However, I’d had two drinks and was feeling a bit lightheaded. And there were so many relatives on his side—he clearly wanted me to hear from every single one of them.

"Daughter, don’t hang up yet. Next up is Dad’s third uncle, who carried me on his back when I was little! Third Uncle, Third Uncle, come over and let my daughter wish you well! Oh, daughter, you should call him Third Grandpa!..." So I had to repeat the same New Year’s greetings to Third Grandpa yet again.

"Daughter, one last person! Someone from your generation, also born in the eighties, my cousin’s son, a graduate student in Tsinghua’s architecture department. You should call him... Hey, Cousin, what should my daughter call your son? Right, right, call him Cousin..." I still couldn’t hang up and had to keep chatting with Cousin. Even though we were from the same generation, my New Year’s greetings had run dry, and I truly didn’t know what else to say.

Finally, the long-distance New Year’s greetings ended. I had just taken a small sip of tea to soothe my throat when Juan said in an advisory tone, "Gao Xiang paid his respects to your dad. Shouldn’t you, as the future daughter-in-law, pay your respects to his mother?"

I excused myself, "Isn’t it too late?"

Juan said, "It’s not too late. You can make New Year’s calls before one o’clock."

I argued, "I’m afraid she might already be asleep."

Juan replied, "Then you’ll have at least tried, and you’ll have done your part. If someone is really asleep, they’ll turn off their phone."

I thought about it—Xiang’s father had passed away, and he had stayed here to help and accompany me instead of returning to Shanghai to spend the Spring Festival with his mother. They had a landline, and I had already spoken to his mother a few times. Each time, my future Mother-in-law had shown concern for me, asking about my well-being. I really should have called her sooner. Although I could call on the first day of the New Year, what if she called first tomorrow morning? Wouldn’t that put me, as the daughter-in-law, in a passive position?

I hesitated no longer and flipped open my phone to dial the number.

Xiang’s mother was still awake.After I had said my New Year's greetings and offered my blessings, she laughed happily. Xiang has many aunts, and she said she was playing mahjong with her old friends.

I said, "Xiang stayed in Shenzhen to keep me company instead of going home for the Spring Festival. I hope you can forgive him."

She replied in her soft Wu dialect, "It's nothing, it's nothing. I was the one who told him to stay in Shenzhen to keep you company. I'm not lonely at all here. Xiang's aunts come over often. We old sisters are all retired and enjoy getting together to catch up on family matters. Hold on, let me get his three aunts to say a few words to you..." So I mustered my energy and chatted with Xiang's three aunts.

When that call finally ended, I was utterly exhausted. I rested my head on Juan's lap and curled up on the sofa.

Juan said, "See? Listening to me was the right thing to do, wasn't it?"

I said, "Thanks."

Juan said, "Hearing how warmly you chatted with both sides of your family makes me want to call my own family too."

I said, "If you don't think it's too late, go ahead and call. I'm going to take a little nap."

I handed her my phone but didn't hear her dial. With my eyes closed, I asked, "Changed your mind?"

Juan said, "Had a bit to drink, forgot my home doesn't have a phone installed."

When she returned the phone, I gently held her hand and whispered with closed eyes, "When I have time, I'll go back with you to install a phone for mom and dad."

Juan replied, "We should install one. Otherwise, when I miss them, besides writing letters, there's no other way to comfort myself."

As we lay in bed, the firecrackers finally faded away. In the quiet night, we both claimed to be tired yet continued new conversations with eyes closed—Juan first brought up Qian Qian, and then neither of us could stop talking. Recalling certain things about Qian, even those laughable or irritating memories seemed to take on a lovely hue. All these impressions combined to form what seemed like an angelic Qian Qian.

I knew that wasn't the real Qian Qian, but I didn't understand why our memories had become like that.

On the first day of the new year, Gao Xiang's knocking woke us both—it was already past ten in the morning.

Xiang hugged me at the door and quietly said, "All three of my aunts praised you."

I asked, "What did they praise me for?"

He said, "Thousands of words summed up in one sentence—that you'll definitely be a good wife in the future." His words instantly made me feel happy.

After lunch, Juan and I returned to the shop; she went back to sleep, while I lay down reading the Turgenev's Prose Collection Xiang had left behind.

From the first to the third day, Juan and I took turns minding the shop with Xiang, never eating together again, but we both caught up on sleep.

On the fourth day, Zhang Jiagui and Director Xu arrived at the photo studio in the evening as invited. Director Xu also brought a friend named Zheng Yiran, in his thirties, a private English teacher who rented a space to run preschool tutoring classes. Xiang winked at me, and I immediately understood Zheng Yiran had come because of Juan. Juan was still in the dark, and precisely because of that, she was especially warm toward the somewhat reserved Zheng Yiran. The more enthusiastic she was, the shyer Zheng Yiran became; the shyer he was, the more Juan treated him as her primary focus, actively finding topics to chat with him. As they talked, Zheng Yiran gradually became less reserved.

From my perspective, aside from being slightly shorter than Juan, Zheng Yiran was well-matched with her in both appearance and profession. I secretly rejoiced for Juan.

I hoped Juan would have an intellectual, steady-natured husband who could help temper her impatience. Zheng Yiran had graduated from a university English department and had worked as a middle school English teacher for many years. I thought he suited Juan quite well.

Juan wanted to cook two Northeastern dishes for everyone, but Xiang and Director Xu firmly objected. Director Xu said Northeastern cuisine was essentially just stewing and mixing; stewing took too long, but she could mix a cold dish if she wanted. Xiang still opposed it.

He said, "Li Juan, your task is to accompany the guests with Wan Zhi. You mainly keep Zheng Yiran company, and Wan Zhi will accompany Old Zhang."

But Juan couldn't resist showing off her skills. With Zheng Yiran's active cooperation, she quickly mixed a large plate of cold dish—the kind with wide noodles.

Zhang Jiagui never mentioned my second sister's initiative to propose marriage to him, so I didn't ask a single question. He said he wouldn't invest a single cent in Shenxianding because he simply didn't have the capability—it was the people of Shenxianding who insisted on elevating him as an entrepreneur. But if any fellow villagers were in difficulty, he would absolutely be willing to help. He also advised me to change the shop's name as soon as possible and stop using the three characters "Shenxianding."I asked him why? It's so far away in the mountains, could they really come looking?

"'Immortal Peak' is actually a good name, nothing unlucky about it." Under my persistent questioning, he finally told the truth—he had unintentionally mentioned to the villagers that I had opened a shop in Shenzhen, and word spread. Some people believed that since my shop used the name Immortal Peak, I should "do my part" for the hometown's development. Otherwise, they would sue me on behalf of the entire village for misusing the hometown's "place name rights"...

Their view was completely different from my Adoptive Father's, which greatly surprised me.

I said, "I'm more than willing to do my part, but I really don't have the ability."

Zhang Jiagui said, "That's exactly how I explained it for you. Drunken words from a few men shouldn't be taken too seriously, but you still have to be cautious. Better safe than sorry—it's best to change it to avoid unnecessary trouble."

He believed that the ultimate solution for Immortal Peak's poverty alleviation should be relocating the villagers down the mountain. Otherwise, no matter how much the government or individuals invested, it might all go to waste...

I didn't pay much attention to his later words because my mood had soured, and I felt strangely angry.

Meanwhile, Juan and Zheng Yiran were getting along better and better, giggling constantly—it was the first time she had been so happy since returning to Shenzhen.

Xiang and Director Xu were both quick in the kitchen, and within an hour, we were eating and drinking.

Everyone was happy, and I gradually cheered up too.

I thought of the folk concept of "fate"—this "fate" had brought me my close friend Li Juan; given me a lover who was a photography artist, and by then I already knew he was quite famous in the industry; introduced me to two elder brothers, Zhang Jiagui and Director Xu; and would soon bring Juan her other half. Counting on my fingers, it had only been a little over three years since I ventured alone to Shenzhen. I was just past twenty-three, yet I had already opened a supermarket with Juan and was about to open a second one; I had obtained Shenzhen residency and passed the entrance exam for the TV university...

At that time, I was filled with gratitude for "fate," brimming with confidence in life, and intoxicated by a clear and unmistakable happiness.

I said to myself, "I'm sorry, Second Sister, I really can't help you..."

Apart from this "regret" that could hardly be called a regret, my heart was joyful.

After seeing off the guests, I truthfully told Juan and Xiang what Zhang Jiagui had advised me.

Juan said, "Then let's take down the sign tomorrow. Anyway, we won't be running a supermarket in the future, and we won't use the words 'Immortal Peak' anymore. We shouldn't do things that upset our fellow villagers."

Xiang said, "Right, I agree. I just asked Director Xu, and applying to open a pharmacy isn't too difficult. If we want to do it quickly, we could start as a branch of a larger pharmacy. When the time comes, he'll step in as the introducer and guarantor. Your Principal Mother and the nursing school's influence will likely help too."

Juan said, "Gao Xiang and I discussed it, and we think there are more people buying medicine than books..."

I said, "I'll listen to you two. Whatever you decide, I'll follow."

The next day, we took down the sign and destroyed it—almost like destroying evidence. The three of us were all people who feared trouble, and on this point, we were more united than ever. Even though, perhaps, there wouldn't really be any trouble.Squeezed by another supermarket and lacking a distinctive sign, our sales were declining day by day, but we all accepted it because we had a "big move" and were still full of confidence in the future.

Soon, Juan and Xiang rented a storefront of over 130 square meters in a good location, though the rent was a bit high.

Juan said, "Wan Zhi, I really like that place. The rent is a little expensive, but it hardly needs any renovation. With just a bit of decoration, it'll be ready. Doesn’t that save us some money?"

Xiang also said in his northeastern accent, "I think it’s doable."

As usual, I said, "You two decide, I’ll follow."

It was just after the fifteenth of the lunar month, and the tide of migrant workers hadn’t yet returned to Shenzhen.

Xiang said, "Let’s not delay. If anyone can do it, we’ll do it ourselves."

Unintentionally, he became the backbone for Juan and me. Following his decision, Juan would watch the shop while I helped him plaster and paint the walls. It was my first time doing such work, but he was quite skilled. When I asked him how he learned, he said that his grandmother once lived in the countryside near Shanghai, and he would paint her house every year, inevitably picking up some plastering and masonry skills.

Just as we were enthusiastically preparing for the new store’s opening, Juan received a telegram from her family.

It was also the first time I saw a telegram—"Father ill, return quickly." These four words immediately threw Juan into a panic.

I comforted her, "It says 'father ill,' not 'seriously ill,' let alone 'critically ill.' Don’t think the worst."

Juan said, "They told me to return quickly, so it must not be a minor situation."

Xiang said, "It’s not a secret code that needs deciphering. No matter what, Li Juan, you must prepare to go back immediately."

Juan said, "Yes, yes, I have to go back."

I said, "I’ll go back with you. Otherwise, I won’t feel at ease."

Xiang said, "Right. Otherwise, I wouldn’t feel at ease either."

Juan said, "But leaving the small shop and the unfinished work to you, I feel too... Wan Zhi, maybe you shouldn’t come with me?..."

Xiang said, "No arguments. Both of you listen to me. I’ll finish the remaining work slowly."

He bought plane tickets for Juan and me from Shenzhen to Beijing.

According to Juan’s idea, we would take the train all the way back to the northeast. Xiang said, "How many days would that take? Saving money shouldn’t come at the expense of this!"

After Juan and I left the airport, we headed straight to the train station. Tickets to the northeast were easy to buy, and Juan wanted to save money again, but I firmly opposed it.

She said, "First the plane, then a sleeper train..."

I interrupted her, "Don’t forget your physical condition."

That evening, we were already on a train from Beijing to the northeast.

The next morning, we boarded a long-distance bus.

It was cold—even though I was wearing a long down jacket, I didn’t have cotton pants or boots. We left in a hurry, and there was no time to buy them in Shenzhen. The biting cold quickly penetrated my wool pants and thin boots. I shivered uncontrollably, unable to stop even if I tried.

Fortunately, the bus wasn’t crowded. Juan gave fifty yuan to a passenger sitting near the front, who agreed to switch seats with me. She also gave fifty yuan to the driver, who allowed me to take off my boots and place my feet on the engine cover, which was covered with a cotton pad and quite warm. Because of that bit of warmth, the front window didn’t frost over, allowing us to see the icy, snowy landscape outside. The northern land truly deserved to be called "the land." In comparison, Guizhou only had a few "basins" and no "vast land," and naturally, no horizon.I saw the horizon for the first time, and its straightness struck me as incredible. The red sun had just risen above it, and I felt that if I stood at the horizon and raised a bamboo pole, I could almost nudge the sun. The "silver trees" lining the road also felt unreal, as if in a dream. Winter trips with Juan to her hometown to admire the snow had always been a cherished wish of mine, but the "silver carvings and jade pavilions" before me now held no poetic charm. It’s true what they say—aesthetic appreciation requires a carefree heart. At that moment, my mind was preoccupied with praying for Juan’s father to pull through, and my ability to appreciate beauty had faded accordingly. On the plane, I had indeed taken care of her—it was her first flight, and she had a fear of heights, so she grew tense as soon as the plane took off, startled by every bump. But once we landed, it was her turn to look after me—the wind in Beijing was fierce, and I began to feel the chill from then on. The train wasn’t much warmer either—in fact, I had caught a cold and was running a low fever.

The long-distance bus driver said it wasn’t too cold outside, "just minus twenty-four degrees Celsius."

After over three hours, the bus reached a small town and terminated. The moment my feet touched the ground, I truly understood what "just minus twenty-four degrees" meant. Juan said her village was about five or six kilometers away—she went to find a minivan that could take us, but just like when I had to attend a parent-teacher meeting for Zhao Kai, she called out for a while without finding a ride going our way. By then, I was nearly frozen stiff. Finally, a horse cart driver approached and asked if she’d like to ride in his cart. I was too cold to speak, so I just nodded repeatedly.

As soon as we boarded the cart, Juan immediately took off my thin boots and cradled my feet against her chest. There were a few burlap sacks in the cart, and she pulled them over our legs.

She asked the driver, "Uncle, can you make the horses go faster?"

The driver replied, "Sure, why not? A flick of my whip, and they’ll run. But if they run, won’t they get tired? And if they get tired, I’ll feel sorry for them..."

Juan interrupted, "I’ll add twenty yuan!"

The driver said, "Make it fifty. A single soybean cake costs forty these days!"

Juan quickly agreed, "Fine, fine!..."

So the two horses began to run. The cold gnawed at my bones, and I could no longer find the sound of the horse bells pleasant.

The driver asked Juan, "Is this your sister?"

Juan said, "Yes."

The driver asked, "Sisters returning from out of town?"

Juan hummed in agreement.

He then asked, "Did you get a telegram from home?"

Juan responded warily, "How did you know?"

The driver sighed deeply, his voice filled with sympathy. "Ah, your village... it’s a tragedy! I’ve given rides to you two girls before, but even those who used to spend the New Year away are returning in groups these days..."

"What happened to our village?!" Juan’s face, flushed red from the cold, instantly turned pale.

I said, "Juan, don’t listen to his nonsense. He’s trying to scare you!" Then I raised my voice and asked the driver, "You’re joking, right?"

The driver didn’t answer. Instead, he cracked his long whip with a sharp snap, followed by a loud shout: "Giddyap!" And with that, the two horses broke into a gallop...As soon as Juan and I entered the village, we were immediately enveloped by an ominous atmosphere—white funeral banners and black cloth strips hung on the fences and trees in some households' yards. One family's fence was almost entirely draped with a whole bolt of black cloth; the withered branches of a tree in another yard were covered in large magnolia-like blossoms—but upon closer inspection, they were not real flowers, but paper ones.

The village was deathly silent.

At the entrance of one household's yard, a large yellow dog stared blankly at the two of us, unmoving and silent, as if frightened senseless by some event.

On Li Juan's door hung a white funeral banner as well. Looking at her home, she said, "Wan Zhi, my legs feel weak..."

As the door opened, her brother with a limp walked out—he must have spotted us from the window. He helped me support his sister into the house, one on each side.

Juan's mother, who had been lying on the kang covered with a quilt, now propped herself up. Without even asking Juan to introduce who I was, she stared fixedly at her daughter, her voice trembling as she said, "Daughter, you've finally come back..." After those few words, she could only weep, unable to speak further.

I helped Juan sit on the edge of the kang. Her brother, with a wooden expression, told her—because coal prices had risen, a small coal mine contracted by a certain town mayor urgently needed miners. On the eighth day of the lunar new year, recruiters went to various villages, and over twenty men were hired. Young people preferred to go to the city to earn money, and few were willing to work in the mines, so those recruited were mostly older men. Even Juan's father, who was unable to do heavy labor, was hired, as the mine needed someone to deliver meals underground. Coal prices had risen sharply, and the coal bosses were naturally pleased, offering slightly higher wages. Those farmers past their prime working age were happy to go, eager to earn that money nearby. Unexpectedly, an accident occurred on the very first day. Coincidentally, thirteen men from the village were working overtime underground, and all were buried. Juan's father and uncle were among the thirteen. Upon hearing the news, the coal boss fled. The county organized an emergency rescue, but all thirteen had died...

Juan's brother spoke quickly, as if reciting from memory, yet his account was clear and coherent, not at all confused.

I listened, holding my breath, stunned and speechless.

Juan collapsed to the ground.

Juan's mother got off the kang; Juan lay on it. Her mother brewed a bowl of brown sugar and ginger water for her, and I helped her drink it.

She tightly grasped my hand, tears streaming down her face as she said, "Wan Zhi, look at my fate... You'd better not be friends with me anymore. I'll only hold you back in the future..."

I couldn't help but shed tears as well.

Suddenly, a commotion erupted outside—there were angry shouts, curses, cries, whistles, and warnings...

Juan's brother went out for a while and returned to report to Juan—county officials had come again, along with a truckload of "public security" officers. The county officials said they would definitely capture the coal boss, and compensation for the lives lost would have to wait until then. The county's finances were tight, and they still owed the bank a large sum of money. For now, they could only advance each family a funeral allowance. The families and relatives of the deceased, of course, disagreed, and the two sides nearly came to blows.

Juan's brother said the bodies were still lying in the town government courtyard. The families had united in their stance, refusing to hold funerals until they received compensation.

That evening, I developed a fever. Juan's brother brought a doctor from the town, and I was put on an IV drip.

I truly hated my body for failing me: "Juan, I'm sorry. I can't help at all, and I'm only adding to the trouble..."Juan said, "Even I don't know what exactly I should do. With you by my side, I can stay strong and won't be crushed."

I asked her to go sleep with her mother, which would also be a comfort to her mother.

She arranged for her younger brother to share a room with me so he could look after me at any time.

The boy sat at the other end of the kang, staring at the IV bottle without lying down.

I said, "You should sleep. I can handle it myself when the drip finishes."

He shook his head.

After the IV finished, I urged him again to sleep, and only then did he lie down fully clothed.

As soon as I turned off the light, I heard the boy crying—the kind of crying where he tried hard not to make a sound but couldn't hold back.

I said, "Little brother, your sister is back now. She can handle everything..."

He said, "I don't want to live anymore..."

My heart ached, and I could only remain silent. The words in Zhao Kai's letter and the despair of the boy before me were strikingly similar, wrenching at the heart.

The heated kang made me sweat profusely all night, and by the next morning, my fever had subsided.

After a simple yet psychologically oppressive breakfast, Juan said she had figured out what to do and how to do it. Her mother also agreed—she would first go to the county seat and forbade me from accompanying her, fearing I might catch another cold.

So I stayed at home to keep her mother company.

In truth, I didn't know what to say. In such a situation, all words of comfort felt meaningless. I simply listened as Juan's mother rambled on, and by the end, I only remembered two things—as the older sister, Juan had rarely enjoyed carefree and happy days since childhood; her father had a bad temper and loved to drink, often throwing drunken fits that frightened Juan and her brother many times. The elderly woman said that if she were to one day join Juan's father in the "afterlife," what she would worry about most was Juan's brother, Li Nan...

Around noon, Juan returned. She said she had spoken with the county officials responsible for handling the mining accident, and both sides had been very frank. She signed a series of agreements, and the next step was to cremate her father's remains as soon as possible.

"The agreement clearly states that the county government guarantees it, with an official seal and the signatures of the county head and party secretary. I can only trust it. I don't have the energy or time to stay and drag things out. It also feels wrong to leave my father's body exposed to the cold just to get compensation faster..."

I patted the back of her hand to show my support for her decision.

The next day, I accompanied her to the crematorium—it was the first time I wore the cotton pants and "big-toed shoes" Juan had found for me, and the second time I had been to a place like a crematorium—the first time was to "send off" my "Principal Mother."

When the body was pushed into the cremation furnace, Juan tugged at her brother, and the two of them knelt together before the furnace while I turned and walked away. They remained kneeling until someone handed them a wooden tray with bones on it. Juan had her brother hold the urn while she carefully placed the bones inside, piece by piece. As she did this, she resembled an archaeologist at work, her expression strikingly similar.

It was a scene I had never witnessed before, not even in books, movies, or TV shows.

Once again, I was left stunned. At the same time, I found myself thinking once more about the concepts of people, life, and fate—three ideas I had never pondered before the age of twenty. Yes, they were merely concepts at the time. I couldn't delve deeply into the relationships between them, but in that setting, even the mere association of these concepts made me feel as though I had suddenly aged.

Juan was incredibly strong.I never saw her shed tears. Perhaps she simply didn't cry in front of me.

Juan was in the middle, holding the urn; her brother and I were on either side of her. The three of us walked slowly and silently along the village road. The thick snow had frozen into a hard crust on the surface, making it slippery—one misstep and you could easily fall.

A man wearing a long-haired animal fur hat stopped us. He was tall, over six feet. The long fur covered his face, making it impossible for me to guess his age.

He said to Juan, "Come forward, I have a few words to say to you."

Juan handed the urn to her brother and stepped forward.

He asked, "So you really had your father cremated?"

Juan replied, "Yes."

He asked, "Several people told you, advised you not to bring the ashes, but you wouldn't listen?"

Juan said, "My situation is different. I have many things to attend to in Shenzhen, I need to hurry back."

He said, "Since it's already done, there's no use saying more, but you are not allowed to leave!"

Juan retorted, "Why?"

He said, "Do you even need to ask? You've traveled far and wide, seen a lot of the world. You should stay and fight for our Li family's interests with me!"

Juan said, "I can't, I..."

He roared, "Bullshit! Who is my father? Your uncle! You cremated your father, but I won't follow your example! You, you... I'll slap you, you heartless thing!..."

As soon as his roar ended, his palm struck Juan's face. Juan staggered from the blow but did not fall.

Li Nan shouted, "Don't bully my sister!"

He roared again, "You little brat, shut up! Today I'm going to teach your sister a lesson!"

As soon as Juan steadied herself, he raised his hand again.

Blood trickled from Juan's nose. Once more, I felt rage surge from my heart and malice rise in my gut.

I took a step back, gathered all my strength, bent down, and charged headfirst at the tall man like an angry bull—even though I knew he was either Juan's cousin or her brother, at that moment I didn't care who he was—anyone who bullied Juan in front of me, I would fight to the death!

He stumbled backward five or six steps, trying desperately to steady himself but still slipped and fell flat on his back. Quick as lightning, I rushed over, straddled him, tore off his hat, clenched my fists, and pounded his face and bald head with both hands...

He was stronger after all, and he pushed me off. I sat in the snow as he stood up, ready to kick me.

"Don't you dare!"

Juan had kicked down a wooden plank from someone's yard and now stood in front of me, gripping it with both hands.

Just then, several more men ran over. One of them snatched the wooden plank from Juan's hands and drove the bald man away.

That man tossed the plank aside and said to Juan, "Don't take your third brother too seriously, he's drunk. That guy, when he's drunk, he's like a donkey with a tail. You did the right thing, your second brother supports you."

"Second brother..."

Juan threw herself against him and burst into loud sobs.

So Juan had more than one cousin; seeing her cry, I actually felt relieved...

Two days later, Juan's aunt came to take her mother away. Juan, her brother, and I left the village together.

After locking the door of her family home, Juan stood with her head bowed for a long time, as if in silent mourning.

At the station, Li Nan said, "Sis, I can't board the train holding Dad's urn. What if someone gets curious? How should I answer? If I tell them directly, it might make people uncomfortable, wouldn't that be bad?"

I thought the boy was thoughtful and right.

So Juan went and bought a bag, placed the urn inside, and carried it herself.

"How could you turn off your phone for days? Don't you realize how worried I was?"

As soon as I saw Xiang, he scolded me with a stern face. If he were pretending to scold me, his tone would be loud; but when he was truly angry, his voice sounded calm, and his expression was especially serious.

Knowing I was in the wrong, I had to apologize and explain that under so much pressure, I had completely forgotten about my phone."Wrong is wrong, making excuses is just finding justifications. Could your pressure possibly be greater than Juan's?" Xiang dismissed my explanation.

Juan chimed in from the side: "She's like a blank sheet of paper, having experienced too few hardships. Maybe her pressure really is greater than mine."

I shot Xiang a look, and only then did he notice the black mourning band on Juan's sleeve. He fell silent and silently embraced Juan. I heard he had already finished decorating the new supermarket, and Juan was eager to see it.

The sign for the new supermarket was already up. Xiang had named it "Harmony Supermarket." I thought it was too common, but Juan liked it. Xiang said that for a convenience store, there was no need for a particularly clever name. The reason he didn't tie it to the street name was to keep the branding consistent for any future branches.

I said, "What future branches! You make it sound so easy, like eating a piece of straw."

Xiang said, "I dare say Li Juan will keep pushing forward."

Juan said, "Of course I will."

Juan was very satisfied with Xiang's work and asked me, "May I hug him?"

I said, "Go ahead."

She stood on tiptoe and hugged Xiang solemnly and earnestly.

Xiang laughed, "All the hard work was worth it."

Juan and her brother slept on the loft bed every night. My suggestion was—since her brother had trouble with his legs, climbing up and down the loft was too inconvenient, so he could sleep in the photo studio every night; meanwhile, Gao Xiang and I were already used to sleeping on the loft. Juan said that wasn't appropriate, not a long-term solution, and that she and her brother had already caused enough trouble for Xiang and me. Moreover, she believed her brother shouldn't always think of himself as disabled in his mind—climbing up and down the loft was also a form of ability training.

So the "home" that Juan and I once shared became the "home" for her and her brother, and her father's ashes were also placed up there.

I said, "Juan, that's not a permanent solution either, is it?"

Juan said, "Yes. I can't worry about that right now; I'll make a decision later."

The deceased are gone, but the living must still keep busy for life.

Over the next few days, Li Nan and I pedaled rented flatbed carts back and forth between the two stores, moving the remaining goods to the new shop. Although Li Nan was lame, it didn't affect his pedaling at all. Meanwhile, Juan began stocking the new store.

Xiang had already delayed too much on his own matters, so I asked him to get the photo studio's business back to normal as soon as possible and stop worrying about Juan and me.

One night, lying in bed, I recounted everything I had seen and heard in Juan's hometown from start to finish and asked Xiang if he had ever experienced such things.

He asked, "Were you shaken?"

I nodded: "I thought such things didn't happen in reality, only in novels or plays."

He said, "In some eras, literature focuses on reflecting reality, while in others, the opposite is true—reality often replicates the plots, stories, and even details of novels and plays, often exactly alike. In the future, the golden age for Chinese novelists, playwrights, or screenwriters may be coming to an end."

I asked, "How so?"

He said, "When the raw, authentic characters, events, plots, and details produced in reality are highly dramatic, surpassing the imagination of most fictional works, doesn't reality have reason to mock novelists? Since we're talking about novelists, who are the best storytellers, let me use novels as an example to prove it to you..."So he began counting on his fingers, listing them one by one—the story of Du Shiniang had been replicated many times in reality; the tale of Rouge was endlessly recurring in real life; real-life versions of The Visit, The Man Who Corrupted Hadleyburg, The Idiot, The Brothers Karamazov, Death of a Salesman, The Hotel, Dead Souls, Nana, Madame Bovary—the real stories were almost identical to the originals...

I never expected that he, a photographer, had read more "idle books" than I had. Once again, I looked at him with newfound respect.

He said he once had a friend much older than himself, a state-owned enterprise cadre, a close friend of his late father who treated him like a nephew. The man had already retired. One day last year, as usual, he went to visit him, and they chatted and laughed happily. Only a few minutes after he left the man’s home, just as he reached the ground floor, the man suddenly jumped from the sixth-floor window, falling to his death right before his eyes. A little closer, and he would have been crushed. Why? It was simply because he received a phone call—his unit’s leader was coming to visit him. In fact, it was just a routine, courtesy visit. The only difference this time was that the newly transferred discipline inspection secretary from another unit, out of respect for him, would also be attending. His suicide naturally sparked various suspicions, but a higher-level leader suppressed the matter, saying, "The man is dead, let the dead rest in peace. Don’t speculate or gossip." However, not long after, that leader’s wife reported to the discipline inspection commission that he had a "mistress," and the investigation into the "mistress" issue uncovered a corruption case. When people recalled how he had shielded the deceased, the old matter was brought up again, and the deceased was also exposed—the amount of embezzlement involved was quite substantial...

Xiang said that because of his relationship with the man, he himself was investigated by the organization during that period, leaving him in a rather embarrassing situation.

He said that in his residential compound, there once lived an old accountant who was very well-liked but would stutter whenever he got anxious, so he usually kept to himself. Unexpectedly, one day, he met a violent death—he was hit and killed by a car. Soon after, people heard that the driver responsible had been caught and confessed—it was a hired job, instigated by the general manager of a company. On the day of the public trial, many who had affection for the deceased went to observe the proceedings, and he went too. What greatly surprised everyone was that the instigator claimed he had developed malicious intentions because he had been blackmailed multiple times. What was going on? It turned out the company had long maintained a secret slush fund, known only to the general manager and the old accountant. The old accountant was about to retire, so the general manager gave him 100,000 yuan—clearly hush money. The old accountant grew anxious and stuttered, unable to form a complete sentence beyond the words "I can’t take it." The general manager thought he was dissatisfied with the amount and added another 100,000. The old accountant grew even more anxious and simply turned to leave. The general manager was conflicted—there was over ten million involved. Splitting it equally? He couldn’t bear to. Not splitting it? What if the accountant exposed it? A few days later, he gave him the keys to a small old apartment. The old accountant refused to take them, clasping his hands behind his back, his face flushed and neck taut, repeatedly saying, "You insult me, you insult me..."

The lawyers for both the prosecution and defense argued fiercely in court. The defense lawyer emphasized—there was a reason for this; the process of the client being blackmailed was logical and clearly valid! The prosecution lawyer pointed out—the old accountant’s stuttering was well-known. Although he never explicitly stated that he wasn’t dissatisfied with the amount, his actions were enough to prove he was an upright gentleman who "resisted corruption and never succumbed."

The judge did not deliver a verdict in court.During the second trial, the old accountant's daughter presented her father's suicide note, discovered while sorting through his belongings. The contents of the note proved that the old accountant had repeatedly refused not because the amount was too little, but because he valued his integrity.

The defense lawyer, however, was unconvinced, arguing that the possibility of the suicide note being forged could not be ruled out...

I couldn't help but ask, "What happened next?"

Xiang said, "Scientific appraisal confirmed the authenticity of the suicide note. But think about it—a good man, about to retire and enjoy a peaceful old age, not only died an unnatural death but also had his reputation tarnished after death. What a pitiful yet detestable phenomenon! In this vast world, among the sea of people, there are still things that leave one unsure whether to sympathize or resent, yet they are clearly tragedies..."

He mentioned that once, while staying at a friend's place in another city, he went for a morning walk and saw a man pick up a discarded porcelain washbasin from beside a trash bin—likely discarded by someone renovating their bathroom. After walking a loop, he saw the man smash the basin to retrieve the copper drain. Just then, a sanitation worker arrived and scolded the man for causing trouble by scavenging for such trivial gains. The man retorted rudely, and the two exchanged insults, eventually leading to a fight where the sanitation worker came off worse. An hour later, the sanitation worker's teenage son arrived, confronted the man, and demanded an apology. The man remained extremely arrogant, and in the end, he was stabbed to death...

"Although I wasn't at the scene, I saw the bloodstains on the ground afterward. How much could that bit of copper even be worth?..."

"Stop!" I shouted.

"Calm down. Let me finish. Why am I telling you this? To make you understand that among over a billion people, almost any phenomenon can be considered a global-scale phenomenon. Over two hundred years ago, in the early Qing dynasty, the world's population was only a little over 1.6 billion. China is in the midst of reform and opening-up, a period of transition where public and private interests are entangled, power and money intertwine, and infuriating incidents are bound to emerge endlessly, appearing as they are addressed and resurfacing as they are managed. If we view the times, society, and the world through an overly idealistic lens, then kind-hearted people would only spend their days sighing, frowning, and feeling helplessly entangled. But I am optimistic. I also see the times progressing, society developing, and the living conditions of the people improving. The 'China Express' train, dragging through the swirling dust of worldly desires, is also forging ahead, sweeping away the old and decaying! So, my dear, forget what you saw and heard in Li Juan's hometown. When friends shoulder heavy burdens in life, we can only do our best to help. If we let our own bad moods affect our friends, it may seem like sharing their sorrow, but in a serious sense, it’s not helping but adding to their troubles..."

Xiang's final words struck me like a wake-up call.

However, Li Juan sometimes rejected our goodwill.

Director Xu came once to convey to Juan that Zheng Yiran had taken a particular liking to her and hoped to continue their relationship.

But Juan said, "We can be friends, but nothing beyond that."

Director Xu was puzzled and pressed for an explanation.

Juan had no choice but to explain her concerns—she said that during their conversation on the fourth day of the lunar new year, she learned that Zheng Yiran was the "youngest child," with an older sister and brother, both with good careers, who had taken on the responsibility of supporting their parents. As a result, he had grown accustomed to not worrying about things and had come to believe that anyone who brought trouble into his life was an "annoying person.""He and I are too different. I have a bunch of people behind me who will inevitably keep causing trouble, and I can't bring myself to cut all ties. I can't see them as nuisances; I have to help them whenever I can. After all, I can't just push all these responsibilities onto the state and act like they have nothing to do with me, right? If we became a couple, wouldn't we be arguing about these things all day long?"

After hearing Juan's earnest confession, we exchanged glances and fell into a heavy silence.

Two days later, Director Xu came again, saying that Zheng Yiran had repeatedly promised that he would be a good husband after marriage, always deferring to his wife in everything.

Juan said, "Director Xu, did you forget to tell him that I only have one kidney?"

Director Xu was taken aback for a moment, then chuckled awkwardly, "Why bring that up?"

Juan insisted, "It must be told. It absolutely must be told."

Director Xu paused again, then changed the subject, "He also mentioned that your brother could come work for him. He'd even pay him a salary. What a great opportunity."

Juan replied, "First, tell him I'm a woman with only one kidney. We can discuss other matters later."

Director Xu left in disappointment.

Xiang said, "That man always expects success in everything he does. He must be feeling quite defeated. But, I think Juan is right."

I retorted, "How is she right?"

Juan could tell I didn't understand her and said with a bitter smile, "Wan Zhi, I know you care deeply about my personal matters, but if I don't tell him about my condition beforehand, wouldn't it be deceitful to reveal it after marriage?"

I said, "Of course I'm not advocating for deception. But I believe in the power of love. Once you become a couple and your bond deepens, nothing will seem like a big deal anymore."

Juan replied, "A man who promises before marriage to always obey his wife after marriage—I don't find that very reliable either. That's not the kind of husband I want."

Xiang patted my shoulder, trying to smooth things over, "I think Juan knows herself well and has good judgment about others. Let her decide her own matters. We should both step back and not worry so much."

After that, the matter was never brought up again.

Zhang Jiagui also called me about Juan's situation, saying he could arrange a job for her brother as well.

I relayed this honestly to Juan, thinking it was worth considering.

Juan said, "Thank him for me, but I won't consider it. My brother has a leg disability after all, so I don't want to trouble friends." She decided to keep her brother by her side.