The snow outside the window brightened the sky.
Before the snowflakes on Fang Muyang's hands had melted, his cold fingers found their way to Fei Ni's nose, lips, and ears... Fei Ni wasn't particularly sensitive to cold, but she was terribly ticklish. The icy touch made it even worse, forcing her to dodge away. As she leaned back instinctively, Fang Muyang's arm wrapped around her, leaving her no escape. She burst into helpless laughter—unrestrained giggles that escaped through the open window into the vast white world outside, faint echoes trailing behind.
Fei Ni covered her mouth, trying to stifle the laughter. Fang Muyang gently pried her fingers apart one by one, then cupped her face with both icy hands. Fei Ni closed her eyes in anticipation.
It was bright outside, but the light bulb inside was brighter.
With the window half-open, Fei Ni let Fang Muyang kiss her while her free hand slowly pushed the window closed. A chilly breeze slipped in, carrying a slight cold.
Pushing and nudging each other, they soon found themselves on the blue-and-white checkered bedsheet. Face to face, their noses brushed lightly—Fang Muyang's nose tip still damp with melted snow Fei Ni had smeared there earlier. The coolness tickled, and Fei Ni struggled to hold back her laughter, clenching her teeth despite her flushed ears as she met Fang Muyang's gaze. He treated her lips like a midnight snack, occasionally nibbling, but never rushed. When his mouth brushed the corner of hers, Fei Ni nearly laughed aloud, but the sound was swallowed. The bedsheet wrinkled quickly, but Fei Ni was used to it—she knew how to smooth out the creases.
Fang Muyang, however, wasn't as skilled. His hands could paint, build furniture, and roam freely over her body. Fei Ni sometimes wondered if he saw her as a sheet of paper, always sketching an outline first. Other times, she suspected he was more sculptor than painter, determined to carve her into shape. He could do anything—except smooth the wrinkles he made on the bedsheet.
So Fei Ni had to remember these things.
Her finger poked his ear. "I want to listen to the radio—on speaker."
Most mini earphones sold nowadays came with only one earpiece per set. Fang Muyang had bought just one pair, so to listen together, they had to use the speaker. For extra precaution, besides lowering the volume, they often hung a quilt against the wall. It didn't help much, but it offered some peace of mind. One quilt was enough—wrapping the entire bed would feel too stifling.
Fang Muyang understood what she meant but wasn't in a hurry. He kissed her a while longer before letting go.
Fei Ni tidied her disheveled hair and rummaged through a box, retrieving items distributed by the factory and the pharmacy days earlier. She took one packet—containing two pieces.
As Fang Muyang hung the quilt, Fei Ni studied the instructions on the plastic wrapper with utmost seriousness, her expression no different from when reading an appliance manual. Her heart pounded as she read. When Fang Muyang leaned in to look, she quickly hid the packet behind her back.
The overhead light was too bright, but they were inexperienced and couldn't do without light altogether. So Fei Ni brought the desk lamp to the bedside, turned it on, and switched off the main light.
Fang Muyang found Fei Ni utterly amusing—she treated what was about to happen like a subject to be studied, her face flushed with earnest concentration. He restrained his impulse and let her proceed with her "pre-class preparations."
The radio on the bed emitted a faint sound, so quiet it might as well not have been there.Fei Ni placed the small plastic bag beside Fang Muyang's pillow, then climbed over Fang Muyang to lie down on her own pillow. She lay there very properly, as if this weren't her own home. After all, one doesn't need to be so proper in their own home.
She looked up at the bedboard of the upper bunk and said to Fang Muyang in a barely audible voice, "Remember to use that later."
Fang Muyang tapped Fei Ni's nose with his finger. "Use what?"
"The one next to your pillow."
Seeing Fei Ni's expression, which resembled someone preparing for an exam, Fang Muyang couldn't help but laugh. "Are you a little nervous?"
"No."
"But I am a little nervous. Can you hear my heartbeat?"
Fei Ni could only hear her own heartbeat.
Usually, Fei Ni was already accustomed to being intimate with Fang Muyang, but now it felt like the first time she had been this close to him. Fang Muyang pressed against her chest, listening to her heartbeat.
Fei Ni lay there somewhat stiffly. Fang Muyang turned her face toward his, and under the dim lamplight, they looked at each other face to face. Fang Muyang kept his eyes fixed on Fei Ni's, his fingers gliding from the tip of her nose downward until they reached her lips. Fei Ni bit the tip of his finger, her eyes no longer meeting his, absentmindedly nibbling on Fang Muyang's finger.
Fang Muyang heard her heartbeat. His other hand slipped into her hair, combing through it. His fingertips were slightly rough, but his movements were gentle—so gentle that Fei Ni couldn't help but close her eyes. He took a strand of her hair and tickled her ear, starting lightly and then deepening the sensation, finally settling on one spot. Fei Ni, itching intensely, bit her lip, clamping down on Fang Muyang's finger between her teeth. Fang Muyang didn't pull his finger away, letting Fei Ni bite it. Her two hands twisted together involuntarily.
Fang Muyang studied her like this. Fei Ni had made many preparations but had nervously forgotten to draw the curtain. The moonlight of a snowy night seeped in, mingling with the dim yellow light from the desk lamp, making Fei Ni's face appear even softer and redder. His five fingertips took turns experiencing the sharpness of Fei Ni's teeth, but she was merciful to him, unwilling to bite him hard.
Fei Ni's eyes remained closed. Fang Muyang continued to tickle her ear with her hair while leaning closer to her mouth to speak.
"Who upset you today?"
"No one."
As she spoke, Fang Muyang's finger was sucked in.
"Can't you even tell me?"
"It's nothing major, and I've already resolved it."
"If it's not a big deal, you should come to me even more. I may not be able to handle big matters, but I can still help with small ones."
Fei Ni laughed. She held Fang Muyang's finger and rescued it from between her teeth. She opened her eyes, drew closer to Fang Muyang's face, and brushed her lips against his.
They brushed lips and spoke to each other.
Fei Ni reached out to touch Fang Muyang's hair. "Your hair needs cutting again in a few days."
"Maybe you should cut it for me from now on, to save money."
Fei Ni teased him, "It's impressive how you come up with so many ways to save money." Fang Muyang always had a bunch of random money-saving ideas, but even if all that money were saved up, it wouldn't amount to the cost of the shoes he had bought for her.
They spoke a sentence, brushed lips, and after a while, they fell silent.
The bedsheet Fei Ni had just smoothed out was wrinkled again.Fang Muyang pulled the quilt over Fei Ni, wrapping her up, and held her through the quilt as he kissed her. He wasn’t planning to get straight to the point, though his body seemed to have other ideas.
Fei Ni was completely cocooned in the quilt, only her head poking out. She grew hotter and hotter, unable to resist kicking at the quilt, but her body was held tightly in place. She freed her arms to wrap them around him, deepening their kiss.
Fang Muyang’s hand slipped beneath the cotton quilt, heading toward a place he knew well.
He hadn’t expected to become so familiar with Fei Ni, and in such a short time.
Fang Muyang said to Fei Ni, “There’s a mole on your waist.”
He hadn’t actually seen it.
But his fingers had felt it, and the sensation was different from the mole in his painting.
His fingers lingered on his new discovery as he whispered to Fei Ni about the differences between the two moles.
Fei Ni covered his mouth, asking him to stop talking.
Outside, the snow fell heavier and heavier. Against the white ground, a bright blue sky hung with a pale moon, snowflakes swirling in the air.
The curtain wasn’t drawn, and through the window, they could see the flurry of snow outside.
The moonlight, reflected off the ground, seemed bleak and cold. If they opened the window, the chill would remind them just how freezing it was outside.
But the window was closed, and the room remained warm, making the people inside even warmer.
That ginger-yellow cotton quilt weighed only four jin, and in this weather, it shouldn’t have felt hot at all.
But Fei Ni was burning up. She didn’t understand why Fang Muyang’s hands were so tireless—he had painted all day, and now he was still at it with just as much energy.
A paintbrush doesn’t care how the canvas feels, nor does it ask the paper how to begin, where to press lightly or heavily, where to pause, or for how long.
But Fang Muyang asked Fei Ni, paying attention to her feelings down to the smallest detail.
Fei Ni spoke in broken phrases, saying what she needed to say: “Don’t ask anymore. Just do whatever you want.”
Fang Muyang grew bold then, his fingers more agile than when holding a brush. Fei Ni had never seen a fawning expression on Fang Muyang’s face, but his fingers told her that he could, in fact, be frivolous, obsequious, and utterly without backbone. And if you truly thought he had no spine, he would suddenly turn firm, proving that everything he’d just done was an act.
Fei Ni could hear the sounds she was unintentionally making, but she couldn’t control them.
Time passed bit by bit. Outside, the snow fell heavier, yet what Fei Ni’s mother had told her would happen on her wedding night still hadn’t occurred.
A small part of Fei Ni’s mind remained clear. Suppressing her soft pants, she asked Fang Muyang, “Xiao Fang, do you know what to do next?”
“Like this?”
“No.”
“Like this?”
Fei Ni gritted her teeth. “No.”
Fei Ni found Fang Muyang’s ear and whispered a few words to him, so softly that no third person could possibly hear. Her words came out in fragments.
“Is this right?”
This time, Fei Ni held back her reply. In her confusion, she reached for the small plastic bag she had placed by Fang Muyang’s pillow. There were two in the bag.
She took one and handed it to him.
“I don’t know how. You help me.”
“You’re teasing me again.”
“I really don’t know. Why don’t you read the instructions to me, and I’ll follow along?”
Fei Ni had no choice but to help him with trembling hands. “Can you keep your hands to yourself? Otherwise, I can’t do anything.”Her words were imperative, but the sob in her voice lent them a pleading tone.
She followed the instructions step by step, her hands trembling uncontrollably, yet she made no mistakes in the procedure. She suspected she had messed up due to nerves, but even after starting over, it still didn’t work. With trembling fingers, she tried again and again, but it only grew more difficult, sweat beading from her fingertips to her palms.
Fang Muyang’s sweat dripped onto Fei Ni’s forehead, likely from the strain. He grasped her trembling fingers and whispered something in her ear.
She felt both embarrassed and amused, thinking life really enjoyed playing tricks on her.
The supplies distributed by the factory and pharmacy, as well as those Sister Liu had given her, were all standard sizes. But Fang Muyang was not only non-standard—he deviated quite significantly from the norm.
Those things simply didn’t fit him.
The only consolation was that Fang Muyang was no better off than she was. No matter how naturally gifted he might be, he was still inexperienced, so they ended up making an awkward mistake together.
Outside, the snow fell thick and fast. It was going to be a long, difficult night.