Director Yao hadn't expected that a young woman who appeared quiet and gentle would prove more troublesome than the factory's fierce middle-aged women. Yet her trouble wasn't the kind he had imagined. He began to fear Fei Ni crying and making a scene before him—a young, pretty girl weeping in front of a middle-aged man after work hours would sound very bad if word got out. Moreover, he was afraid he might soften.
But Fei Ni didn't shed a single tear, and her voice was no louder than usual.
"Running the blackboard newspaper is Feng Lin's job; she's the main person in charge. She thinks I didn't do well and wants to replace me. To ensure the blackboard newspaper can be done better, I chose to step aside voluntarily and devote my time to my primary duties. Isn't that considering the bigger picture? May I ask, why are you docking my bonus?"
Fei Ni and Feng Lin had given two different versions of the story. Director Yao instinctively believed Fei Ni's account. Over the years in the workshop, Fei Ni had never made a mistake in her work nor had conflicts with anyone. But Feng Lin's father worked at the Labor Bureau, and his niece's return to the city and search for an ideal job still required the Feng family's help. Fei Ni was still naive—why offend this particular person of all people?
Director Yao wasn't so self-assured either and softened his tone considerably: "Actually, Xiao Feng didn't really want you to leave; she just wanted to encourage you to do better. When facing difficulties, you should press on, not avoid them. You did very well with the choir this time; next time, I'll add to your bonus." He was doing this for Fei Ni's own good. She had offended Feng Lin over the blackboard newspaper, and with the choir, she had stolen Feng Lin's spotlight. Letting Feng Lin vent this once would suffice; otherwise, the troubles might never end. This time, it's docked, but next time, it'll be made up.
But Fei Ni didn't appreciate Director Yao's kindness. She began reciting the factory's rules and regulations one by one, asking after each which one she had violated.
Director Yao glanced at his watch; his wife was waiting for him to come home for dinner.
"If you're really short on money, I'll give you mine." Director Yao didn't want to drag this out with Fei Ni any longer. He had just received his salary today, took out the envelope, and handed five yuan to Fei Ni. "Will this do? Xiao Fei, hurry home."
"I don't want your money; I want what I've rightfully earned." If she wasn't given what she deserved, she needed a sufficiently reasonable explanation. Otherwise, tomorrow she would go to the factory director's office to demand an answer.
Deputy Director Yao, cornered by Fei Ni, said he would think it over again. Fei Ni replied, "Then think about it here; I'll wait. If you need to go home to think, I'll follow you there."
Fei Ni's voice wasn't loud, but her tone was firm. Director Yao believed that if he didn't give Fei Ni her bonus, she would indeed follow him home.
He had been very impatient, but when he looked up at Fei Ni, he noticed her head was still slightly raised. At first, he thought it was defiance, but now he realized this posture was to keep her tears from falling.
Crying would signify weakness, but she couldn't show weakness because she was fighting for justice. Although others' experiences suggested that showing weakness made it easier to get the bonus back, Fei Ni wanted more than just the money.
Director Yao suddenly realized that for Fei Ni, this wasn't just about money—it was about dignity. Even if only one cent of her bonus was docked, she would come and force him to give her what she deserved.Her dignity would not allow him to gloss things over.
After realizing this, Director Yao decided to make up the bonus Fei Ni deserved, to accommodate her stubborn pride.
As a senior in the workshop, it was only natural for him to protect those who worked diligently. He had recently forgotten this due to family matters, but Fei Ni had reminded him.
He wrote a note to Fei Ni, promising to compensate her with the bonus.
The note, in black and white, was also a reminder to himself.
Fei Ni’s tears only flowed when she saw Fang Muyang. He was holding an umbrella that blended into the night, its surface covered in white snowflakes.
When he saw Fei Ni, the umbrella shifted over her head.
Fei Ni wiped her eyes. "Why are you here?"
"If you had come out one minute later, I would have gone in to find you."
Fang Muyang noticed Fei Ni’s tears.
"Who upset you?"
"I’m touched. Thank you for coming to pick me up."
Fang Muyang wrapped an arm around Fei Ni’s shoulders. "Why so formal between us? Why are you so late today?"
"There were some matters at the factory. Our workshop won first prize, and I got a towel and soap."
"Impressive. Can I use the soap?"
"If you listen to me, I’ll consider it."
Fang Muyang pushed the bicycle as the two walked back to their home. Fei Ni wrapped her entire head in her long scarf.
Fang Muyang’s footprints marked the white snow. Fei Ni held the umbrella, occasionally stepping into his footprints as if comparing the size of their feet. Walking like this, she still held the umbrella over Fang Muyang, letting the snowflakes fall on her, but she didn’t mind.
Fang Muyang reached out an arm to pull Fei Ni closer. "Don’t just hold the umbrella for me."
Fei Ni laughed. "I’m not like you. I have a scarf to cover my hair, and I have more than one set of clothes."
After parking the bicycle, Fei Ni handed the umbrella to Fang Muyang. She bent down, scooped up a snowball, and threw it fiercely into the distance.
"Want to have a snowball fight?"
Fei Ni shook her head, smiling. "You only have one set of clothes. I won’t fight you. Hold the umbrella yourself; don’t worry about me."
Fang Muyang held the umbrella over Fei Ni, letting her throw snowballs into the distance to her heart’s content.
He knew she had been wronged, but her pride wouldn’t let her say it.
Fang Muyang tossed the umbrella aside, made a snowball himself, and threw it. Slowly, it turned into the two of them throwing snowballs at each other. They aimed at each other, half-covered in snow, but neither hit the other with a snowball.
When Fei Ni grew tired, Fang Muyang bent down and let her climb onto his back to carry her home.
Normally, Fei Ni would have refused, but today she didn’t hesitate at all.
Fei Ni’s fingers rested on Fang Muyang’s shoulders. "What if your clothes get wet?"
"We’ll dry them by the fire."
"What if they don’t dry?"
"Then I’ll wear yours. Don’t you have several sets of clothes?"
"You’re so unserious. If only you could fit into my clothes, I wouldn’t have to make new ones for you."
Fei Ni reached out to touch Fang Muyang’s hair. "Silly, your hair is wet too."
"Less hair, easier to wash."
Fei Ni ruffled his hair. "You only take washing your hair seriously. When it comes to washing clothes, you’re hopeless."
Only when they reached their floor did Fang Muyang put Fei Ni down. They had been apart for less than a minute, but once inside the room, they were together again.Fei Ni had a long scarf draped over her head, and Fang Muyang helped her take it off, shaking the snowflakes onto the ground. Fei Ni went to brush the snow off Fang Muyang's coat, but since he had already taken it off, she checked his sweater for any remaining flakes.
She stood on her tiptoes, using a dry towel to wipe his damp hair, then leaned in to kiss his lips.
Fang Muyang's fingers brushed against Fei Ni's neck, sending a chill through her, but she didn't say a word.
She knew it wouldn't be long before both of them warmed up.
At first, Fei Ni was the one taking the lead, but gradually she became the passive one. Their hands were cold at first, but as they intertwined, they quickly grew warm. Fei Ni stopped calling Fang Muyang clumsy because, in moments like this, he was anything but. Their kisses gradually softened into a simple embrace. She had so much she wanted to say to him, but sometimes silence conveyed more than words ever could. Burying her head in his chest, she finally allowed herself to cry freely for a while. If Fang Muyang noticed, she would blame it on the melting snowflakes on his clothes. She wasn't crying.
In moments when she occasionally lost hope for the future, she was grateful to have him by her side, making the present feel not so bad.
At times like this, she wouldn't object to anything Fang Muyang did.
But Fang Muyang said she should go change her clothes so they could eat together.
Fang Muyang lit the alcohol stove. That morning, he had bought two fish and taken them to the canteen—one for the head chef and the other for the chef to slice up for him. He planned to treat Fei Ni to a better meal.
Fei Ni noticed a small fruit cake on the low cabinet. "Why did you buy so much food today?" Then she spotted Fang Muyang's newly published sequential pictures on the same cabinet and guessed the cake was to celebrate the book's release. She eagerly opened the sequential pictures to look through them. While working on this book, Fang Muyang had lost nearly twenty pounds, though not directly because of the drawing.
"Where is this sequential pictures being sold?"
"No need to buy it. You can just read the copy on the table."
"I'm not just reading it for myself. Shouldn't we buy a few copies to give as gifts? For your parents, your sister, your brother, and my parents, my brother, my sister... I also plan to give a few copies to people at the factory."
By now, Fei Ni had washed and dried her hands. He touched her ear with his dry fingers. "Buying so many copies—you're quite the spendthrift."
"What does that have to do with being a spendthrift? Disaster relief is so difficult; shouldn't everyone learn from it?" Fei Ni stood there flipping through the sequential pictures, showing no intention of eating. "If it sells well, won't you have more opportunities in the future?"
She was happy for his brighter prospects, though it stirred a faint melancholy about her own future. But having one person with a promising future was far better than having neither.
Fang Muyang smiled inwardly. Even if they bought a hundred copies, it wouldn't make much difference to the total sales, but he was still grateful to her.
"Stop looking. Have you forgotten what day it is today?"
"What day?"
"You forgot your own birthday? Isn't today your twenty-second birthday?"
Although Fei Ni had been calling herself twenty-two since the New Year, today was her official twenty-second birthday.
Fei Ni realized it was indeed her solar calendar birthday, though she had always celebrated her lunar calendar birthday before.
"How did you know today was my birthday?"
"Isn't it written on our marriage certificate?"Fei Ni picked up the blanched fish slices and placed them in Fang Muyang's bowl. "Eat more."
"I already had plenty at the canteen at noon."
"Then why don't you seem to be gaining weight?"
Fang Muyang smiled. "You can't tell just by looking now."
Fang Muyang told Fei Ni that blanched fish slices weren't particularly precious to him. Back when he was sent down to the countryside, he often caught fairly large fish in the river of the neighboring village. He could cook fish in many ways—grilled, steamed...
He slightly embellished the memory. It was true that he often caught fish, but none of them were particularly big—how large could fish from small streams be? Still, in those days, having something to eat was good enough, and there was no time to be picky.
The two of them huddled together eating the blanched fish slices, their arms occasionally brushing against each other, but neither minded.
Although the heating was already on, the room wasn't particularly warm. It was the steam from the pot that warmed them up.
Fei Ni continued serving him. "I can't eat this much. I need to save room for cake."
Fei Ni said she wanted cake, but she only cut a small slice for herself. Her stomach had limited capacity, so she gave the rest to Fang Muyang.
"It's my birthday. Do me a favor and eat a little more."
The two of them held their cake and looked out at the heavy snow outside. Everything was blanketed in white. Fei Ni reached out a finger to touch the windowpane, but the cold made her pull back immediately. The weather would only get colder from now on. She had just received her paycheck today and still needed to exchange some coupons to buy cotton for Fang Muyang to make him a padded jacket. It would be tough this year, but once everything was prepared, next year would be better.
"What's your birthday wish?"
Fei Ni closed her eyes and made a wish—she hoped that she could still be with Fang Muyang on this day next year.
She thought this one was relatively easier to achieve. She hoped they could both make progress together. If the gap between them grew too wide, they might have to rely on the other's sense of responsibility to accommodate, and that would be rather dull.
What she said aloud was different: "I hope I can go to university next year."
Then she laughed. "That hope is too far-fetched." Because it was so unlikely, she didn't mind saying it out loud and breaking the spell.
"Who knows? It might come true. No one can predict the future." Fang Muyang pinched Fei Ni's cheek. "This time last year, I was still unconscious in a hospital bed. How could I have imagined I'd marry you?"
Fei Ni thought to herself, I couldn't have imagined it either. What was she thinking back then? Probably about how she could get into university.
"What was your wish last year?"
Fei Ni laughed. "To go to university." She laughed until tears welled up in her eyes. "I've never told anyone, but every year my wish is the same, and every year it doesn't come true. It's embarrassing, really. I know that going to university won't change everything, but I really want to see another possibility in life." A path she chose for herself, not one forced on her by fate.
Fang Muyang didn't have much attachment to the idea of university. In his family, he was the only one who hadn't attended. In his parents' plans for him, university wasn't even an option—they felt there were already too many intellectuals in the family and wanted him to start changing their class composition.
But he understood Fei Ni's feelings. He kissed her hair. "Last year, you were the only one making the wish, so of course it didn't work. This year, I'll join you—that should increase the odds."
"Then I hope both of us can go to university."
Fang Muyang laughed. "If we both go to university, we'll lose our home."Fei Ni inwardly laughed at Fang Muyang, thinking how slim the hope was, yet he was earnestly discussing it.
Out loud, she said something entirely different: "Even if we lose the house for now, we’ll surely have one in the future."
Fang Muyang said he wanted to paint Fei Ni’s portrait today and vowed to paint her every year on this date.
As Fang Muyang sketched Fei Ni, she lowered her head to look at his sequential pictures.
She decided that tomorrow, she would go to the bookstore and buy several extra copies to give to her close friends and relatives, asking them to help spread the word. She thought his artwork was excellent.
Fang Muyang walked over and whispered something in her ear.
Fei Ni’s ears flushed red instantly.
Fei Ni remained silent, so Fang Muyang leaned in a little closer, still murmuring, "Is it alright?"
Fei Ni neither consented nor refused. Silently, she reached to undo the first button of her blouse, then the second. After unfastening the second button, she glanced down at the mole on her collarbone.
He said the painting couldn’t be without that mole.
Fei Ni agreed. It was the first time she noticed how strikingly red that mole was.
"Just one button is enough." Fang Muyang’s fingers slid to the button. With great care, he re-fastened the second button for Fei Ni and gently smoothed the fabric down. Compared to his fingers, Fei Ni’s buttons seemed especially small. His palms were slightly rough, and even through her shirt, Fei Ni could feel it.
Fang Muyang’s expression and the movement of his fingers were entirely proper, which made Fei Ni’s blush seem all the more unwarranted.
He returned to his easel and began painting Fei Ni.
Fei Ni was well aware of the intensity of Fang Muyang’s gaze; even after all this time together, his eyes could still make her self-conscious. She reached for the novel she hadn’t finished reading.
Fang Muyang asked Fei Ni, "Where did you leave off? Can you tell me about it?"
Fei Ni picked up the hardcover book with its dust jacket and read aloud to Fang Muyang. She read slowly, striving to enunciate each word clearly for him.
He was her only audience, and she dared let no one else listen. Having someone like him by her side, whether he understood or not, was comforting. Sometimes she almost wished he didn’t understand—the protagonist’s confessions sounded embarrassingly intimate when spoken aloud, as if they were her own words to him.
She only read those lines to Fang Muyang, without translating them.
When Fang Muyang put away his easel, Fei Ni went over to look at her portrait.
After one glance, she turned away, opened the window, and reached out to catch the snowflakes outside.
Fang Muyang approached, pressing Fei Ni’s snow-dusted hand against his own cheek.
Fei Ni tried to pull her hand back. "It’s so cold!"
"It’ll warm up in a moment."
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