No matter what the Office of Educated Youth staff said, Fei Ni insisted she couldn't marry Fang Muyang.
Taking care of a hero with whom she had little connection showed high consciousness and deserved recognition as an advanced worker; but taking care of a husband was simply her duty and couldn't be considered a good deed at all.
If she married Fang Muyang, she would gain a husband with the intellect of a child while simultaneously erasing her previous achievements in caring for a hero. No matter how she calculated it, she would be at a disadvantage.
She couldn't voice her true thoughts, so she only said that Fang Muyang had liked another female comrade for many years before his injury. That female comrade wasn't her. She hoped the lovers would eventually unite, and the more she admired and respected him, the more she couldn't deprive him of the chance for happiness.
The other party said, Comrade Fang has been ill for so many days, yet that female comrade hasn't come to care for him even once. How could she compare to you? Only by marrying you can Comrade Fang find happiness.
Fei Ni thought to herself, if even Fang Muyang's childhood sweetheart didn't want to marry him in his current state, why should she? Just because she saved all the meat for Fang Muyang instead of eating any herself, just because she had been taking care of him all along, should she be burdened with this?
She smiled on the surface, but her tone was resolute. No matter what the other party said, she maintained that for Fang Muyang's happiness, she couldn't marry him.
Until they mentioned the housing allocation at the hat factory. They had investigated Fei Ni's work background - the hat factory was currently allocating housing. If Fei Ni married Fang Muyang, although her position and seniority definitely wouldn't qualify her, because she married a hero, she would certainly get a share in this housing allocation; to facilitate Fei Ni's care for Fang Muyang, they could contact the hat factory to help transfer her to a financial or administrative position.
This offer did tempt Fei Ni for a moment. Even university graduates who started work lived in shared dormitory rooms, and even after marriage, they might not get a tube apartment of less than ten square meters. If she married Fang Muyang, she could immediately enter a new stage of life.
But she still refused to marry Fang Muyang.
If he didn't recover his memory, she would essentially be marrying someone with intellectual disabilities; if he did recover, he would remember his ex-girlfriend. Being together for so many years meant she had lasting appeal to him. Once he woke up and old feelings reignited, where would that leave her?
Marrying Fang Muyang would bring her nothing but harm. She only had one life and couldn't make wedding clothes for someone else's marriage.
If she refused, Fang Muyang would be left with no one to care for him, making her over six months of good deeds worthless. She hoped someone else would take initiative to care for Fang Muyang.
Fang Muyang's girlfriend was destined to remain an ex - she hadn't even come to visit, let alone take him in to care for him.
Fei Ni remembered that Fang Muyang's sister had left her work unit's phone number during her last visit, so she called again.
Fang Muyang's sister Fang Mu Jing, upon hearing her younger brother had woken up, took a train to see him. She taught at a university in the south. Because of her poor family background, her ex-boyfriend from a similar background had married a female comrade whose ancestors for eight generations were poor peasants; also because of her poor family background, she wasn't allocated a Private Room and shared a double room with someone else.
The local Office of Educated Youth had limited influence and couldn't reach into the university where Fang's second sister worked.
She simply didn't have the conditions to care for Fang Muyang.
Fei Ni then asked about Fang's eldest brother?
Fang's second sister told her that the eldest brother worked in confidential operations, and his wife hadn't seen him for several years.
When Fang Muyang saw his second sister Mu Jing, he began smiling again.Fei Ni introduced to him, "This is your second sister."
Fang Muyang asked his second sister where their home was, saying he wanted to go back.
Mu Jing initially laughed too, but her laughter soon turned to tears.
Where did they still have a home?
Second sister had only taken three days off and had to catch the train back that same day. Before leaving, Mu Jing took out the two hundred yuan and national grain ration tickets that Fei Ni had refused last time, but Fei Ni still wouldn't accept them.
"Take it, use it to get him two sets of new clothes." Though Fei Ni's own old clothes were washed nearly white, she had still bought her brother a new shirt.
"It doesn't need this much money." Fei Ni knew his second sister wasn't well off either.
"Last time I came, you weren't this thin. Hand him over to the Office of Educated Youth—they have to take responsibility for him. You can't sacrifice your whole life for him."
During all these days Fei Ni had been taking care of Fang Muyang, no matter how difficult it got, she never once cried. Even when she learned her university dreams were shattered again, she only felt heartache inside. But hearing these words, her tears finally fell uncontrollably. It was genuine understanding from another person who was also suffering.
If Mu Jing hadn't said those words, Fei Ni wouldn't have returned to the hospital after she left. But because of her understanding, Fei Ni decided to prepare a few more pieces of clothing for Fang Muyang.
Since Fang Muyang was admitted to the hospital, he had been wearing patient gowns. All other clothes were provided by Fei Ni. Apart from one newly bought shirt, the pants and overlays were all altered by Fei Ni from her brother's unworn old clothes, with the pants extended using fabric scraps. But he was good-looking, so they didn't appear unseemly on him. Fei Ni also made two false shirt collars for him to alternate wearing.
Now that Fei Ni had money, she exchanged grain ration tickets for cloth tickets and bought fabric to start making new clothes for Fang Muyang. She worked on the clothes at night while still visiting the hospital during the day. She stopped buying meals for Fang Muyang, instead having him purchase his own. One liang of rice cost two fen, and he needed three liang; one pork chop cost ten fen, and he bought two; a plate of cabbage cost three fen, a bowl of soup one fen—each meal totaled thirty fen. She counted out the thirty fen, went with him to the window, and watched him buy the food. Dinner was a bowl of pork chop noodles plus two meat buns, also thirty fen. Normally, he spent eighty fen per day, a bit more if he wanted wontons for breakfast.
The day after the clothes were completely finished, Fei Ni went to the hospital early. She had made Fang Muyang two khaki pants and two shirts—one of cotton-linen, perfect for summer. She also brought two pairs of shoes: one leather, one sneakers, bought according to his shoe size. She placed the remaining money and grain ration tickets in a bag and handed it to Fang Muyang, telling him to keep it safe and never give it to anyone else.
Fei Ni closed the hospital room door and had Fang Muyang change into his new clothes. After he changed, Fei Ni said she would take him to see a movie that day. Worried he might get lost, Fei Ni had him walk in front. He kept turning back every few steps, then eventually reached a hand behind him toward her. Fei Ni's hands were in her pockets; that outstretched hand remained unattended but didn't withdraw, just hanging there behind him. Fei Ni glanced around and offered a few fingers, which Fang Muyang immediately grabbed. They began walking side by side.
It was the weekend, and the bus was too crowded. Squeezed among the crowd, Fei Ni tried to pull her hand back, but he held on tightly. Afraid of being recognized, she kept her head down, regretting not bringing a mask.The driver slammed on the brakes, and Fei Ni, losing her balance, stumbled backward. Fang Muyang wrapped an arm around her waist. He kept it there, not pulling back. Fei Ni flushed with embarrassment, elbowing his arm and whispering, "Fang Muyang, take your hand away now."
Outside the cinema entrance, someone was selling soda. Fei Ni took out money to buy a bottle of Arctic Ocean soda, asked the vendor to open the cap, then nudged Fang Muyang’s arm with her elbow. "Drink up."
"Why aren’t you having any?"
"I don’t like it."
The movie was Romanian, a disaster relief film, but what stirred excitement among young men and women were the few scenes of intimate contact between characters. Fei Ni had little interest in such scenes. She had invited Fang Muyang to watch it as one last attempt to help him regain his memory. Even now, she hadn’t given up—she was too eager to excel. The film didn’t awaken any memories of his own disaster relief experiences, but it seemed to stir something else. After a suggestive embrace appeared on screen, Fang Muyang tightened his grip on Fei Ni’s hand.
Her heart raced wildly. Silently, she cursed him for being shameless—he must have pulled similar stunts with his ex-girlfriend. He hadn’t even remembered his own parents, yet this he hadn’t forgotten. She dug her short nails into his palm, trying to make him let go, but he held on firmly until their palms grew sweaty, their perspiration mingling. Afraid of drawing attention from those around them, she could only endure it quietly.
Fei Ni thought to herself, after today, she must never see him again.
Once outside the cinema, she couldn’t resist stepping on his foot twice. In a hushed, breathy voice, she said, "From now on, you’re not allowed to hold my hand!"
"Then you hold mine." He stretched out his hand, waiting for her to take it.
"Put your hand back in your pocket."
Fang Muyang stood a head taller than Fei Ni. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and with both hands tucked into his pockets, no one on the street would suspect he had any intellectual issues.
They both wore white shirts. Fei Ni’s trousers and cross-body bag were army green, so faded they had turned pale, and they carried the faint scent of soap. They walked side by side, half a meter apart.
Neither spoke. Before coming, she had already resolved that if he still hadn’t regained his memory after the movie, she would take him to a Russian restaurant for one last meal and then never see him again.
Fei Ni let Fang Muyang order. He did so with practiced ease, choosing fried pork chops and borscht. When he tried to order more, Fei Ni quickly told the waiter that was enough.
After cutting the pork chops, Fang Muyang offered them to Fei Ni first. She declined, saying she didn’t like them.
Fang Muyang asked the waiter to bring the menu again and inquired what Fei Ni would prefer.
Fei Ni ordered an ice cream, requesting it be served after the meal. Fang Muyang remarked that ice cream didn’t count as a proper meal and urged her to order more. Fei Ni forced a smile and asked the waiter to take the menu away.
She was both annoyed and amused—after all these days, he hadn’t remembered anything, yet his flair for ordering remained intact. To prevent him from adding more dishes, she reluctantly shared the pork chops with him.
When the ice cream arrived, Fei Ni pushed it toward Fang Muyang. "Didn’t you always want ice cream? Go ahead, eat it."
Fang Muyang scooped a spoonful and held it to Fei Ni’s lips. "You have some first."
"I don’t want it." She could never win an argument with someone whose mind wasn’t clear. The spoon remained stubbornly pressed against her lips.She snatched the spoon from Fang Muyang and scooped the ice cream into her mouth. It was too sweet, but indeed seemed tastier than red bean popsicles.
The two of them finished sharing one serving of ice cream.
When it was time to pay, Fang Muyang took out the pouch Fei Ni had given him and carefully counted the bills—he could now recognize the numbers printed on them. He stopped Fei Ni from reaching into her own bag for money and generously paid the bill himself.
Fei Ni couldn’t tell whether he was genuinely foolish or just pretending. If he kept spending like this, his money would be gone in no time. It would be better to exchange it for something practical now. She took Fang Muyang to a clothing store. Even in summer, the shop still carried winter garments. A woolen short coat caught her eye—it cost eighty yuan. He didn’t have a single piece of winter clothing. The Office of Educated Youth provided his meals but wouldn’t help him buy clothes. He couldn’t possibly keep wearing just a shirt in winter; a coat seemed essential. Just as she picked out the wool coat, Fang Muyang pointed to a button-front dress hanging on another rack and said to Fei Ni, “Let’s buy that one.”
Fei Ni cursed inwardly—what an idiot. Since when do men wear dresses?
But she couldn’t say that in front of others. She pulled Fang Muyang aside and explained to him, word by word, “You’re a man. Men don’t wear dresses.”
“You wear it.”
When it was time to pay, they disagreed: Fang Muyang wanted to buy the dress, while Fei Ni insisted on the wool coat. Since Fang Muyang had the money, he demanded that Fei Ni listen to him.
“I can’t even earn enough in a month to buy a dress. How could I ever pay you back?” How could she use a fool’s money to buy a dress for herself? She wouldn’t visit him again after today—she had to leave him with something practical.
“No need to pay back.”
“Didn’t I tell you? Today, you have to listen to me. Can’t you understand human speech?” She snatched the pouch from Fang Muyang’s hand, counted out the money, and handed it to the shop assistant, firmly declaring, “We’ll take the wool coat.” With the remaining money, she also bought him a dustcoat and two pairs of socks.
The incident left them both upset, and they didn’t exchange a single word on the way back to the hospital.
Once they reached the ward, Fei Ni folded each piece of Fang Muyang’s clothing neatly and returned the money pouch to him.
She said to him, “You’re a hero—you saved four people. It’s only right that the Office of Educated Youth takes care of you. If you have any needs, just tell them. You’re entitled to a bottle of milk every day. If they forget, remind the nurse…”
She spoke more to him in one day than she had in all their previous encounters combined. Even without his response, she continued.
“I can’t remember all that. Why don’t you come back tomorrow and tell me again?”
“If you can’t remember, I’ll repeat it.”
She wouldn’t be coming back tomorrow.
OpenNovel