Just as she was about to leave, Fei Ni remembered she hadn’t taught Fang Muyang how to do laundry. She watched him wash clothes, explaining how to do it without wasting soap. He had little patience for laundry, wringing the clothes a few times before declaring them clean. Fei Ni insisted that wasn’t the right way and demonstrated the proper method, then made Fang Muyang follow her example.
"I don’t know how. Why don’t you just do it for me?"
"Wishful thinking! I don’t owe you anything." She had never even washed her own parents’ clothes, yet she had taken care of him more diligently than her own family over the past few days. She had looked after him for over half a year, spending all her savings, only to end up with nothing but an opportunity to marry him.
She had tried so hard to improve her situation, but it backfired. Doing a good deed halfway was worse than not doing it at all. She had nursed him back to consciousness only to leave, and people would surely label her a failed opportunist. But how could she marry him? A man who couldn’t even wash his own clothes…
At this thought, tears welled up in Fei Ni’s eyes, dropping into the basin and mingling with the soapy water. She picked up the clothes and scrubbed them vigorously with soap, as if it cost nothing, thinking to herself, "You want me to wash them for you? Fine, I’ll do it. But if you don’t learn, who will you rely on later?"
Fang Muyang wiped her tears with the back of his hand. "Don’t cry. I’ll wash them, alright?"
Under Fei Ni’s supervision, Fang Muyang finished washing the clothes and hung them out to dry. It was already dark, and he asked Fei Ni what time she would come the next day. She said she was very busy lately and wouldn’t be coming anymore.
He then asked where she lived, saying if she couldn’t come, he could visit her instead.
Fei Ni told him not to look for her, adding that she would visit him when she had time. She rummaged through her bag, pulled out a dictionary, and placed it in Fang Muyang’s hands, saying she would come back only when he had memorized the entire dictionary.
Fang Muyang had forgotten all the characters he had previously known and now only recognized his and Fei Ni’s names, as well as the words on money and food coupons.
When Fei Ni left, Fang Muyang insisted on walking her to the entrance of the hospital ward. As she turned the corner, she glanced back and saw him still standing there, tall and imposing.
She definitely wouldn’t come tomorrow. Why should she? His own parents, brothers, and sisters couldn’t be bothered with him, and even his former girlfriend refused to visit. She had no relation to him, yet she had taken care of him for over half a year, gained nothing from it, and still had to keep making hats at the hat factory. She had already done more than enough for him.
Yet she couldn’t help feeling sorry for him, for the very same reason: his own parents, brothers, and sisters couldn’t be bothered with him, and even his former girlfriend refused to visit.
Despite her pity, she resolved not to see him again.
The next day, Fei Ni cycled to the hospital early in the morning. Only as she neared the hospital did she remember her decision not to go.
Fei Ni’s mother, worried that her daughter’s frequent hospital visits might lead her to marry the mentally unclear Fang Muyang, repeatedly reminded her, "Heroes are for admiration, not for marriage. In his current state, you’d have to take care of him. A man should know how to cherish you."
Fed up, Fei Ni retorted, "I know how to take care of myself. I don’t need a man to do it for me."
Fei Ni’s brother, Fei Ting, was on leave, and she took him to the park, to the movies, treated him to Arctic Ocean soda, cream rolls that cost twice as much as biscuits, and canned lychees she would never normally buy. The city hadn’t changed much, but Fei Ting needed time to readjust every time he returned.Fei Ting started working as soon as he got home. The floor was uneven, so he mixed cement to level it. He repainted the white wall by the window and repaired the furniture—he never seemed to rest. Fei Ni offered to wash his clothes, but he snatched them back, saying they were too dirty and telling her to stay away. How could he let his younger sister wash his clothes?
Fei Ni asked Fei Ting to invite his girlfriend over for a meal, as she had bought ribs and fish. Fei Ting’s girlfriend, Lin Mei, had been an Educated Youth with him and returned to the city earlier this year, now working as a shop assistant in a pastry store.
Fei Ting said he had no girlfriend—he and Lin Mei had broken up.
“Why did you break up? The sachima you ate yesterday was a gift from her.”
“Why didn’t you tell me it was from her?”
“I’m telling you now, aren’t I? What exactly happened between you two? You didn’t fall for someone else, did you? Brother, you can’t do that. Sister Mei has been so good to you.”
“What’s going on in that head of yours all day?” Fei Ting sighed, reached into his pocket, and pulled out all his money for Fei Ni. “Since I’ve already eaten it, give her this money. Don’t ask for any change.”
Unable to reason with her brother, Fei Ni decided to invite Lin Mei to their home herself. Lin Mei was upset. She hadn’t mentioned breaking up—she had only asked Fei Ting to find a way to return to the city as soon as possible. In two more years, she would be thirty; she couldn’t keep waiting like this. She added a few complaints: if it weren’t for Fei Ting, she wouldn’t be crammed into a tiny room with her parents. She could have married a man with a house long ago. Her family’s home was laid out just like the Fei family’s—two small rooms, barely enough space. Her older sister, brother-in-law, and niece lived in the inner room, while she had to squeeze into the outer room with her parents. Hearing this, Fei Ting told her to go ahead and marry a young man with a house. Even if he returned to the city, he had no place to get married.
“Do you think what your brother said makes any sense? It’s not that I’m demanding he come back—I just want a clear answer from him. He won’t even say something nice to me.”
Fei Ni couldn’t bring herself to criticize her brother in front of Lin Mei. His words might have been harsh, but they were the truth. Not only could he not return to the city now, but even if he did, the neighborhood committee wouldn’t assign him a job. And even if he found work, he wouldn’t be allocated a home—he’d have to squeeze in with the family. He couldn’t possibly ask her to live with her parents in one room just so they could marry.
“My brother doesn’t know what’s good for him. I apologize on his behalf—he already regrets it. Come with me, I’ve made ribs for you. You still care about him, or why would you give him sachima?”
“I just felt sorry for him! I’m not going to your place for dinner. Why am I always the one chasing after him? If your brother doesn’t apologize to me, I’ll go on a blind date tomorrow. Let’s see who regrets it then! He doesn’t even have a mud-brick house in the countryside. Don’t think those village girls flirting with him would actually marry him. I asked him to find a way back to the city for his own good! All he cares about is his family. Who in this family ever thinks about him…” Lin Mei caught herself, remembering she was speaking to Fei Ting’s sister, and swallowed the rest of her words.
Fei Ni could no longer force a smile. “If I had been the one sent to the countryside back then, he would have a job now, and you’d have a place to get married.”
Lin Mei hurried to defend herself. “That’s not what I meant. Don’t think like that. He’s a man, and he’s older than you—it’s only right that he left the opportunity for you.”Fei Ni steeled herself and continued, "Sister Mei, my brother is definitely coming back to the city this year, and he’ll have a place to live once he’s married. He was just speaking out of anger—don’t take it to heart. If he doesn’t return this year, I won’t stand in your way if you want to meet someone else."
"How could he come back after all these years away?"
"He will. Last year, my dad was hospitalized for over a month with heart problems. The doctor said he can’t do heavy labor, and the hospital can provide proof. Once I’m married and move out, the family will need him back to care for our parents. Given his situation, he should qualify for a hardship return to the city. By then, he’ll have housing too."
"Who are you marrying?"
Fei Ni hadn’t decided yet, but she was determined to marry. Her mind immediately turned to Fang Muyang—marrying him would surely secure her brother’s return. If she took care of Fang Muyang and couldn’t manage her family’s needs, the Office of Educated Youth would process her brother’s hardship return. Marrying Fang Muyang would also qualify her for housing from the hat factory, allowing her to move out. But the thought of Fang Muyang lingered only briefly before she dismissed it.
The look in Fei Ni’s eyes unsettled Lin Mei, whose anger had mostly subsided. She urged Fei Ni not to do anything rash.
"Even without my brother’s situation, I’d still need to marry." In these times, only marriage made one eligible for housing allocation, which was tied to rank and seniority. Even if her brother returned to the city, got a job, and married, housing would be a distant prospect. She, on the other hand, stood a better chance of securing a new home through marriage, so the family’s one room should be reserved for him.
Fei Ni asked Lin Mei not to mention her plans to marry to her brother—she wanted to surprise him.
As soon as Fei Ting left, Fei Ni asked her mother, "Weren’t you going to introduce me to someone? Do you have any candidates now?"
Fei Ma was surprised by her daughter’s sudden urgency but considered it better than indifference. She asked what Fei Ni was looking for.
Without hesitation, Fei Ni laid out four criteria: a college graduate; working in a government office; no older than thirty-two; and decent-looking. She knew that men meeting the first two conditions usually had their housing arranged by their work units upon marriage.
Only then did Fei Ni start paying attention to her appearance. She hadn’t made herself new clothes in years, and her savings had all been spent on Fang Muyang, leaving no money for new outfits. She remembered her mother had an old piece of checkered homespun fabric, which she dug out and made into a skirt that ended ten centimeters above the knees. She scrubbed her white sneakers repeatedly until they were as white as baking soda. Borrowing an iron, she pressed her skirt and blouse. Tucking the white blouse into the skirt accentuated her figure too much, so she left it untucked to make her waist appear less slender.
For the first time, she penciled her eyebrows and applied lipstick, then went to a photo studio in her pressed clothes. She took a full-body shot and a half-body shot—these were the photos her potential matches would see.
Men meeting her criteria were few, but she was young, had a good figure, was pretty, and held a stable job. Her strengths were significant, and she had no obvious weaknesses. Soon, she found a young man who exceeded her standards.
Ye Feng was five years older than Fei Ni and had already been promoted to section chief at a young age. Both his parents worked in hospitals, which could be helpful if any family members fell ill.
He was more than just decent-looking—he far surpassed Fei Ni’s expectations.By any standard, he was a decent young man.
Many people tried to set him up on dates, but he never agreed to meet any of them. When Fei Ni's photo was handed to him, he took a few extra glances.
Their first meeting was arranged in a park. Before he could even get a clear look at Fei Ni's face, he noticed the two bottles of soda in her hand. She offered him one, inviting him to drink.
To thank Fei Ni for the soda, he treated her to buttered bread at a pastry shop.
After leaving the shop, Ye Feng walked Fei Ni home. When they reached her doorstep, Fei Ni naturally invited him in for a cup of water out of politeness. Fei Ni's mother was especially attentive to Ye Feng and insisted on having him stay for dinner. Originally, dinner was just greens with thin porridge, but she secretly gave Old Fei money and ration tickets to buy cooked beef and ham from a shop.
After seeing Ye Feng off, Fei Ni told her mother not to be so overly enthusiastic. It was only their first meeting, and acting that way made it seem as if they were trying to climb above their station.
"I thought you were satisfied with him."
"Actually, there's nothing particularly unsatisfactory about him."
Fei Ni didn't dislike Ye Feng and agreed to watch a movie with him next time.
The movie was a daytime showing—Fei Ni didn't meet men in the evening.
It was a disaster film from Romania, with a few intimate scenes. She had watched it once before with Fang Muyang.
During the intimate scenes in the movie, Ye Feng kept his hands to himself, unlike Fang Muyang, who had been rather shameless.
After the movie ended, Ye Feng invited Fei Ni to eat at a restaurant. Fei Ni said it was her father's birthday and she had to go home for the meal. Hearing this, Ye Feng offered to go to her house to celebrate Old Fei's birthday. Fei Ni couldn't think of a good reason to refuse, so she agreed.
As Fei Ni went upstairs, her mother was cooking in the hallway.
This time, Fei Ni's mother wasn't as enthusiastic upon seeing Ye Feng as she had been before. Instead, she kept making meaningful glances at Fei Ni.
But no matter how much she hinted, Fei Ni couldn't guess that Fang Muyang had come to her house and was sitting inside waiting for her. He had even brought her a gift.
Fang Muyang had been memorizing the dictionary every day in the hospital. When a former junior high school classmate came to visit him, he learned Fei Ni's home address from their mutual acquaintance. He had the classmate write down the address, took the note, and rode the bus, asking for directions along the way until he finally found the Fei household.
He completely missed the subtle hints from Fei Ni's parents asking him to leave and insisted on waiting at home for Fei Ni.
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