Ling Ziyue saw how earnest Lou Xiaowu was and couldn't bear to remind her that there was still another person in the room.
An Jiu lay on the bed, pretending she didn’t exist.
“As a family head, you’ve done very well,” Ling Ziyue encouraged her.
Lou Xiaowu tugged the quilt down and propped her chin on her hand. “Don’t comfort me. I know I haven’t done well. If it weren’t for Auntie, Second Sister wouldn’t have handed the family over to me. But I’m trying my best.”
She leaned closer to him and whispered, “I’ve made many kinds of weapons. As long as the imperial army uses them, they’ll definitely help in conquering the Liao Kingdom!”
There was an old saying: the barefooted fear not those who wear shoes. If the court couldn’t straighten its spine, if the battlefield lacked ferocity, the nation would only be trampled upon at will. When the people’s spirit was weak, even the most formidable weapons would be like a child wielding a strong bow—ultimately just for show.
Having guarded the borders for so many years, Ling Ziyue understood this deeply. But seeing Lou Xiaowu’s warm, sunlit smile, he swallowed the words on his tongue and instead said, “Mm, then you must work hard!”
An Jiu sensed the encouragement and helplessness in Ling Ziyue’s tone. Thinking of the state of the entire Great Song, a small flame quietly ignited in her heart—anger, or perhaps hope.
She could kill her targets with precision, yet she was also hunted by the entire world, living a life of constant hiding. She was the most formidable sniper, yet also the weakest, dwelling in the shadows. So she understood better than anyone the thrill of standing in the position of a judge, as well as the stifling struggle of living in the filthiest corners.
Perhaps, from this moment on, she had finally found the meaning of living!
An Jiu’s mental strength was injured now, much weaker than usual, but her eyes were brighter than ever before.
So this was it—life became more vibrant through relentless pursuit. What she had truly wanted deep down wasn’t as simple as retiring to herd sheep! She wanted change, to alter the present. To live more freely and boldly.
In the past, whenever An Jiu teetered on the edge of life and death, she had always longed for a peaceful life. But when that tranquil, serene life was right before her eyes, she didn’t feel the overwhelming joy she had imagined, nor was she satisfied in the slightest. She had doubted whether she was insatiably greedy, even wondered if she could ever erase the dependence on bloodshed ingrained in her soul. It left her conflicted and lost.
Yet only today did An Jiu finally realize—without breaking the shackles of her heart, even if she obtained the sheep-herding life she desired, it would only be like herding sheep in chains. Like a prisoner laboring without a shred of enjoyment—where was the joy in that?
“I won’t be a rat, and the country I belong to can’t be a rat either…” An Jiu’s murmurs grew louder until she finally laughed wildly. “I’m not a rat! Hahaha! I’m not a rat!”
We must all live under the bright sunlight, marching toward hope, toward the future, singing loudly as we stride forward!
So this was the life she had always wanted.
An Jiu’s laughter echoed through Plum Blossom Village.
Lou Xiaowu and Ling Ziyue exchanged bewildered glances.
Sui Yunzhu rushed in with a freshly prepared meal, his face slightly pale. “Has Shi Si had another episode?”
No sooner had he spoken than An Jiu appeared at the door. Leaning against the frame, she grinned at him. “I’ve decided! I won’t be a rat! And I won’t be a sheep-herding rat either!”"Oh no." Lou Xiaowu nervously grabbed Ling Ziyue's sleeve and whispered, "Shi Si's condition seems worse. Before when she had episodes, she'd just act crazy—but this time she actually thinks she's a mouse! And a mouse that herds sheep at that!"
Three pairs of eyes stared unblinkingly at An Jiu.
An eerie silence fell over the room.
"People from different worlds truly don't understand me," An Jiu thought. If Chu Dingjiang were here, he'd surely know what she was talking about. He'd definitely understand just how happy and excited she was feeling right now.
Without offering any explanation, An Jiu waved her hand and hummed a tune as she walked out.
"Shi Si, where are you going?" Sui Yunzhu hurriedly asked.
"I'm going out to bask in the sun." On such a beautiful and memorable day, she simply had to see the bright sunlight.
Not daring to stop her, Sui Yunzhu could only watch helplessly as she left. Turning to the other two, he said, "She does know it's raining outside, right?"
"Maybe she forgot?" Ling Ziyue observed that her behavior seemed different from her usual manic episodes.
"This is bad." Lou Xiaowu looked on the verge of tears, her face full of worry. "Shi Si thinks she's a sheep-herding mouse from another world, wants to sunbathe in the rain, and worst of all—she's singing!"
"What should we do?" Sui Yunzhu was now completely convinced An Jiu had gone mad again.
Ling Ziyue remained skeptical and offered a practical suggestion: "We can't physically restrain her, so gentle methods are best. Xiao Wu, you seem the least threatening—try approaching and calming her. If things go wrong, prioritize your own safety."
After some thought, Sui Yunzhu agreed. Whenever An Jiu had episodes before, she'd never hurt anyone and sometimes even recognized them.
Bracing herself, Lou Xiaowu wrapped herself in a blanket and shuffled outside.
Only after stepping out into the misty rain did An Jiu remember it had been raining during their earlier battle. She'd been so excited she'd completely forgotten. Though disappointed, it didn't dampen her mood. She simply squatted under the thatched awning to watch the rain, which offered a view of most of the island. The scenery, half-hidden in the mist, appeared and disappeared like an ink-wash painting.
Hearing An Jiu humming some indistinct tune, Lou Xiaowu worried she wouldn't understand "mouse language" and fail to communicate. With trepidation, she squatted beside An Jiu, nervously gathering her thoughts.
An Jiu noticed Lou Xiaowu's presence but, after waiting without hearing her speak, turned to look at her quizzically.
Lou Xiaowu hurriedly introduced herself, "I... I'm a mushroom."
An Jiu blinked, then—finding her adorable—felt both curious and mischievous. "Since when do mushrooms talk?"
Lou Xiaowu was relieved there was no language barrier, but now had to improvise. As a researcher who valued truth and facts, she was terrible at making up stories. "Well... um... I'm actually a mushroom spirit. I absorb the essence of heaven and earth, the energy of the sun and moon... so... uh... then... and then... eventually I... I just..."
Her face turned bright red from the effort.
Inside the nearby medicine room, the other two facepalmed upon hearing this."In short, don't be afraid, I'm a good person!" Lou Xiaowu declared earnestly, her expression so serious that it seemed if An Jiu showed any disbelief, she would immediately swear to the heavens.
"Are you a mushroom or a human?" An Jiu suppressed a laugh, continuing to tease her.
Lou Xiaowu deflated instantly, her head drooping. "You saw through me. I'm actually human, but I'm a good person."
An Jiu nodded. "What is it you want to say?"
"You don't want to be a mouse, do you? Do you want to be human?" Despite the worry on her face, Lou Xiaowu still seemed utterly innocent as she asked this.
An Jiu raised an eyebrow, her expression noncommittal.
Without a second thought, Lou Xiaowu took it as agreement. "Then do you want to make friends with humans?"
When An Jiu didn’t respond, she tempted, "I have candy!"
After fumbling around for a while, she pulled out a small piece of candy and offered it to An Jiu.
Inside the house, Sui Yunzhu muttered, half-amused and half-exasperated, "This kid is quite strategic."
Ling Ziyue stood by the window, smiling as he watched the two girls in the grass shed. Setting everything else aside, the scene was as pure as could be. Having witnessed so much bloodshed and deceit, Ling Ziyue found this moment particularly precious.
An Jiu picked up the candy, remembering Lou Xiaowu’s claim that eating sweets could improve one’s mood. She didn’t mind feeling a little happier, so she popped it into her mouth with a grin.
Lou Xiaowu, however, was now convinced An Jiu was ill—because when An Jiu was normal, she would never smile this much. Though she seemed amiable now, Lou Xiaowu couldn’t shake the odd feeling and found herself missing the cold, sharp-tongued version of her.
Perhaps it was because her earlier conversation with Ling Ziyue had touched the deepest wounds in her heart, but Lou Xiaowu had become unusually sensitive and fragile.
Overcome by sadness, she could no longer keep up the act. She suddenly hugged An Jiu and burst into loud sobs. "Shi Si, please don’t give up on treatment, okay? Xiao Wu doesn’t have many family or friends left in this world. Second Sister avenged with her life, Auntie has to bear the survival of the family for the rest of her days, and Xiao Wu doesn’t even have anyone to talk to. You must take your Medicine properly and get better soon, wuwuwu..." (To be continued...)
PS: Though I’m still not feeling well physically, writing today felt really good—almost the best state I’ve been in since starting this book. The longer the hiatus, the greater the pressure and guilt.
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