Sometimes, even when fully aware of the unpredictable dangers in love, one still finds themselves helplessly sinking into it—both anxious and indulgent at the same time.
This is likely the common mindset of women, especially those who have been scarred before.
An Jiu had heard her mother say that they, too, had once shared a passionate love. But in the end, her father poured all his fervor into his career, while her mother remained deeply in love.
The cruelest form of love is not mutual destruction, not life-and-death separation, not drifting apart after growing indifferent—but one person walking away while the other keeps sinking deeper.
An Jiu had never experienced it firsthand, but as an observer, she saw it all the more clearly. That was why she feared treading the same path as her mother.
And yet… the harder she struggled, the faster she seemed to sink!
Chu Dingjiang sat by the bedside, watching the faint tremble of her eyelashes. He couldn’t guess what she was thinking, nor did he know how to comfort her.
After sitting there for over an hour, the others in the room had finished their meditation. Chu checked An Jiu’s pulse, confirming that her injuries were slowly healing, and prepared to leave.
In that hour, everything in Bianjing might have already been decided. Still, he had to go and see—after all, it was the result of so much of his effort.
Before arriving at Plum Blossom Village, Chu Dingjiang had been wrestling with himself. It was the first time in both his lifetimes that he had agonized so painfully over a decision. In his past life, he had many successes, but also failures and regrets. Just when he was on the verge of making up for those regrets, he was forced to abandon them!
Sitting atop the roof of the Second Prince’s residence, Chu Dingjiang pondered deeply. If he truly cast aside his emotions for the sake of ideals or family duty, how would that be any different from his previous life? After half a lifetime of wandering, he had tasted enough loneliness in this world. Now that love was right before him, he ought to cherish it while he still could.
“A Jiu.” Chu stroked her hand and whispered, “Look how peaceful it is right now. I wish time could freeze at this moment. I don’t ask for forever, nor do I dare hope for the next life. Don’t think too much or too far ahead—at least for now, everything is real.”
The others stood in the outer room, hearing this murmur, each with different expressions.
Sui Yunzhu, Li Qingzhi, and Lou Xiaowu were largely unaffected, but Ling Ziyue suddenly felt a surge of bitterness. If there was one person he had most wronged in this life, it was undoubtedly his wife. She had lived for him, borne his children, managed his household, and died for him—yet he hadn’t even been able to see her one last time before her death.
Every time he thought of this, Ling Ziyue was overwhelmed with pain.
Chu Dingjiang’s casual remark had not only stirred Ling Ziyue but also struck right at An Jiu’s earlier worries.
“I know.” An Jiu opened her eyes and saw his face buried in his beard. “Still, this is the most pleasing sight.”
“Are you saying I have to cover my face to be presentable?” Chu feigned anger.
An Jiu replied lazily, “It’s rare to meet someone as self-aware as you.”
Chu reached out and roughly tousled her hair, then pulled her hood over her head, casting a shadow over most of her face—leaving only her bearded chin exposed. “I’m leaving.”
“Bring back some chestnuts when you return.” An Jiu didn’t want to say things like “be careful” or “come back safely.” She preferred to keep it light, as if whatever earth-shattering thing he was about to do was as simple as drinking a cup of tea.
“Mm.” Chu smiled, then turned and left.The parting seemed clean-cut, but as Chu Dingjiang reached the outer door, he sensed the spreading tendrils of mental strength. Raising his voice sharply, he reprimanded, "Behave yourself!"
His words carried a hint of Inner Force, causing everyone to shudder at the rebuke.
An Jiu wiggled her toes and turned her face toward the wall, muttering disdainfully, "What's there to be so proud about?"
Lou Xiaowu huddled in the corner clutching her blanket. "So scary. It frightened us to death."
"Please don't speak for others. I wasn't scared at all," the apothecary's apprentice retorted defiantly.
Lou Xiaowu blinked—her eyes watery one moment, then sticking out her tongue and mimicking a tiger's roar the next. "Rawr!"
The apprentice instinctively recoiled.
Lou Xiaowu snorted triumphantly, but when her gaze fell upon Ling Ziyue's gloomy expression, she immediately sensed the oppressive atmosphere. Clutching her blanket, she stealthily inched toward the inner room. Just before entering, she paused, then hung her head as if trying to become invisible before quietly squatting beside Ling Ziyue, wrapping herself tightly in the blanket with only her face exposed.
After sitting in silence for a long while, once everyone else had left the room, Lou Xiaowu finally mustered the courage to speak. "Do you want some candy?"
Ling Ziyue didn't look at her, merely shaking his head.
Lou Xiaowu fumbled in her pockets for a while before finally producing a piece of candy and offering it to him. "My sister said eating candy makes you feel better."
"Lou Mingyue?" Ling Ziyue had spent some time with Lou Xiaowu, and the name he'd heard most often from her was "Lou Mingyue."
"No, my real sister. She fell off a cliff during the Crane Control Institute trials." Lou Xiaowu's expression darkened. "We really are sisters—both equally terrible at martial arts!"
Ling Ziyue didn't know how to respond, so he simply picked up the candy from her palm and popped it into his mouth.
The dried fruit coated in malt sugar was sweet with a sharp tang, the flavor stimulating his taste buds and seemingly driving away some of his bitterness.
"See, it works!" Lou Xiaowu, sensitive to his mood shift, beamed brightly.
"Mmm, no wonder you love sweets," Ling Ziyue patted her head. "Got cavities yet?"
Lou Xiaowu immediately covered her mouth, her eyes wide with shock as if to say: How did you know!
Then Ling Ziyue revealed something even more startling. "I have sharp hearing, and my quarters aren't far from yours. Every night, I'd hear crunching sounds. At first, I thought it was mice, but once I followed the noise and saw you crouched in a corner stuffing candy into your mouth."
Ling Ziyue wasn't entirely truthful—he hadn't been drawn by the crunching but by Lou Xiaowu's sobs. That night, she had woken from a nightmare, tearfully gorging on candy. Through a hole in the window paper, he'd seen this usually carefree girl curled up in the corner like a thieving mouse or an abandoned child.
Since then, Ling Ziyue had grown closer to her, wanting to look after her more.
Lou Xiaowu leaned in nervously, whispering, "You didn't tell anyone, did you?"
Ling Ziyue chewed the candy and raised an eyebrow. "Why can't others know?"
"You know I'm the head of the Lou family now. I have to maintain dignity." Lou Xiaowu stared at him with grave seriousness. "You won't tell, right?"
Ling Ziyue fell silent for a moment before countering, "Do you resent Second Miss Lou?"Lou Mingyue went off to seek vengeance, leaving the heavy burden on the shoulders of the childish Lou Xiaowu.
Lou Xiaowu took out a piece of candy and popped it into her mouth. "Auntie is the one handling family affairs. I just hold an empty title, and my Martial Arts are weak. Since I can't avenge the family's disgrace, what's the point of complaining while stuck here?" (To be continued...)
Notice
I was busy all day and just got a moment to rest, so I couldn't finish today's update. Taking a leave—feel free to scold me without mercy... ┭┮﹏┭┮ (To be continued...)
Announcement
Sleeve is sick and didn’t inform everyone in time—apologies. Updates will resume tomorrow. BY: Guozhi (To be continued...)
OpenNovel