Lin Jinlou gritted his teeth and said, "Feeling awful from drinking too much? Serves you right!" With that, he stood up and strode away. But after just two steps, hearing Xianglan retching into the spittoon, he couldn't help turning back to check on her. He glanced over his shoulder and shouted at Ling Su and the others standing by the door, "Hurry up and bring the emetic broth! Shu Ran! Check where Doctor Zhang is and have him come over! Immediately!" The maidservants acknowledged in unison and crowded around. After his outburst, Lin Jinlou sat back in his chair, fuming silently. He kept getting up to glance at Xianglan before sitting down again, his face as dark as the bottom of a pot.
After vomiting several times, Xianglan felt somewhat relieved physically, and her mind cleared, though her head throbbed with pain. She rinsed her mouth, changed into fresh clothes, and simply tied her hair into a bun. Before long, Doctor Zhang arrived, panting heavily. After examining her, he said to Lin Jinlou, "The Concubine here has had too much to drink. I'll prescribe a remedy for two or three days, and she should eat lightly during this time." Noticing Lin Jinlou's stern expression, he added with an apologetic smile, "I've just checked her pulse—the Concubine's health has improved since the last treatment. I'll change the prescription and see how it goes. Perhaps in two or three months, there will be good news. General Lin, please don't worry."
Hearing this, Lin Jinlou's expression softened slightly. He rewarded Doctor Zhang with a generous red envelope and saw him out. Returning to the room, he found the maids had drawn back the bed curtains, and Xianglan was leaning against the headboard in a daze. Lin Jinlou walked over to check her complexion—her face was deathly pale, her eyes red and swollen. "Feeling better? Sobered up?" he asked.
Xianglan glanced at him but said nothing. Her head was spinning, and she couldn't shake off the nausea. Now that the drunkenness had passed, her sober mind confronted the bleak reality of her life, and her heart grew heavy again. Old Master Lin resided far away in Jinling, Lin Changzheng was stationed in Shanxi, and Qin Shi had no control over Lin Jinlou's affairs—the entire Lin household was under Lin Jinlou's sole command. Jiang Xiyun appeared sweet and innocent but was shrewd and formidable. Xianglan felt trapped in this mansion, with her helpless parents, truly cornered with no way out. Thinking of her sister made her even sadder. Jialian had always been more clever and quick-witted than her since childhood, yet she had died so tragically. Xianglan wondered if she herself would have gritted her teeth and endured—she had endured so much over the years that she could no longer distinguish the taste of grievance. Despair and sorrow weighed on her, the future seemed bleak, and she struggled forward through the mire, lamenting incessantly. Every time she yielded, a bigger wave crashed down upon her. She was terrified—afraid of ending up like her sister, and even more afraid that such days would never end. She let out a long sigh and turned to gaze at the orchid on the crabapple stand.
After a long silence, Lin Jinlou exhaled and said, "Rest now. I'll send a maid to inform Madam that you'll see her tomorrow." With that, he stood up and left.
The room fell quiet. Xianglan closed her eyes and leaned against the pillow for a while before hearing footsteps again. Lin Jinlou had returned. He touched her forehead, and Xianglan slightly opened her eyes to find him sitting by the bed. The rain outside hadn't stopped, and a single lamp burned in the room, its candlelight illuminating his handsome features.
Lin Jinlou stroked her cheek again, tucking the stray hairs behind her ear, and asked softly, "Does your head still hurt? Feel like vomiting? Do you want some water?"If Lin Jinlou had scowled and glared at her, it would have made her feel better. But his gentle tone, for some reason, made Xianglan's tears instantly stream down again. Lin Jinlou reached out to wipe her tears and said softly, "If you keep crying, you'll go blind."
Xianglan covered her face and sobbed. Lin Jinlou picked her up and patted her back. Resting on his shoulder, she wept uncontrollably. He stroked her back, then leaned close to her ear and whispered, "I know you were wronged at the poetry club today. I'm aware of it. But no matter how upset you are, you shouldn't get drunk. You have no tolerance for alcohol—you're only harming yourself. I defended your dignity in front of others; you can't turn around and disgrace yourself, can you? Besides, Lao Yuan is an unrelated man. You shouldn't meet him privately. Even with De Ge'er and the maids present, people will gossip if they find out." Hearing her sobs subside, he pushed her away slightly and couldn't resist asking, "What exactly did you say to Lao Yuan?"
Xianglan lowered her head, wiped her tears with her sleeve, and said calmly, "I asked about how De Ge'er's birth mother died. I pitied her tragic fate and feared that I... might end up like her someday."
Lin Jinlou frowned. "Like her how?"
"She was driven to her death by the Marquis and his principal wife." Xianglan lifted her head, her deep, pool-like eyes fixed steadily on Lin Jinlou. Her expression was utterly placid, but her gaze was filled with profound sorrow and confusion.
Lin Jinlou's heart skipped a beat. He stared at Xianglan, his face gradually darkening.
Feeling unwell, Xianglan had blurted out these words recklessly. Now she felt a twinge of regret, yet also an indescribable sense of relief. She didn't dare look at Lin Jinlou's expression any longer and simply closed her eyes, leaning against the bedpost.
Just then, Chunling's voice came from the doorway: "Reporting to Eldest Master, Madam is here."
With her eyes closed, Xianglan sensed Lin Jinlou sitting in silence for a long moment before he finally rose and left. Only then did she let out a long sigh. She had cried again, and her head throbbed as if pierced by needles. Unable to bear it any longer, she groaned and collapsed onto the bed.
Meanwhile, Lin Jinlou exited the bedroom and saw Qin Shi seated in a chair in the main hall, sipping tea. He took a seat in a chair below hers. Qin Shi scrutinized him up and down a few times, noting his gloomy expression, and asked, "What's wrong? Who are you pulling that face for?"
Lin Jinlou picked up a Cheng kiln polychrome covered teacup, took a sip of tea, and nodded dismissively. "It's nothing. I'm just tired from entertaining guests earlier.Seeing her eldest son's weary appearance, Qin Shi couldn't help but feel heartache. "You just returned from accompanying the emperor. Rest properly for a couple of days. Why not avoid unnecessary meetings with relatives and friends? What if you exhaust yourself? Besides, the eldest son of the Jiang family set off for the capital half a month ago and should arrive any day now. Once they come, you'll be busy again."
Preoccupied with thoughts of Xianglan, Lin Jinlou grew even more impatient at the mention of the Jiang family. He waved his hand and said, "Alright, alright, I understand.Qin Shi slammed her teacup onto the table with a sharp "bang!"" and snapped, "Who do you think you're talking to? Are you the one who's angry now? I don't care how many concubines you take or whom you favor, but the Jiang family was chosen by the Old Master and your father. Since we're to become in-laws, we should show them respect! You've repeatedly elevated Chen Xianglan—how could the Jiang family not be furious? The Old Madam of the Jiang family is so angry she's taken to her bed. What if something serious happens to her? I have to smooth things over for you. Is this how you show filial piety to your parents?"
Lin Jinlou frowned and retorted, "If the Jiang family isn't happy, then they shouldn't agree to the marriage."Qin Shi stood with her willow-leaf eyebrows raised and said, "What kind of nonsense are you talking!" Seeing Lin Jinlou frowning, also looking troubled, she knew her eldest son had a fiery temper and that her own harsh words would be useless. Suppressing her anger, she said, "My fate is truly bitter—I can’t rely on your father, my younger son is still childish, and my eldest son adds to my troubles all day long. If I say one wrong word, he even dares to sulk at me. Alas, my lot in life... At my age, everyone else has children and grandchildren around them, with daughters-in-law managing everything and showing filial piety. But here I am, old bones still having to manage this and that, with not a single one of you giving me peace of mind..." As she spoke, her eyes reddened, and she lifted a handkerchief to wipe her tears.
Seeing his mother cry, Lin Jinlou quickly suppressed his inner agitation and forced a smile. "Dear Madam, my own mother, please forgive me this once. I’m truly exhausted today, drank too much, and my head is still muddled. I don’t even know what nonsense I just spouted. You’re magnanimous—don’t take it to heart. Besides, I’m your own son. How can you stay angry with me?"
Qin Shi, who had been stirred by her sorrows, felt her resentment dissipate upon hearing Lin Jinlou’s words. She looked up and spat toward the ground, saying, "If you know you’re my own son, why do you upset me?"
Lin Jinlou said, "No, I didn’t mean to upset you." As he spoke, he stepped forward and took the handkerchief from Qin Shi’s hand to wipe her tears.
Qin Shi snatched the handkerchief back and glared at her eldest son. Dabbing the corners of her eyes, she finally said, "Why is your head muddled? If you’re unwell, quickly drink a bowl of osmanthus sobering soup. Come here, let Mother take a look. You’ve been away all this time—have you suffered? With your grandfather and father not in the capital, you’re the pillar of this household. If anything happens to you, who can we rely on?"
Lin Jinlou let Qin Shi take his hand and inspect him from head to toe. Qin Shi said with heartache, "You’ve really grown thinner."
Lin Jinlou rolled his eyes and said, "Mother, you must be mistaken. I’ve always been like this—I haven’t lost weight anywhere."
"Who says so? You can’t eat or sleep well in the emperor’s presence, always on edge. How could you be comfortable?" Qin Shi sighed. "It’s because you don’t have a proper person to take care of you in your household. No matter how good Chen Xianglan is, she’s not your rightful wife. Listen to your mother—as the saying goes, ‘One generation without a good wife ruins ten generations of sons.’ You married wrongly before, and now I can’t let you follow your whims again! Given how much you favor Chen Xianglan, you might as well marry a Dough Figurine who would tolerate it. But someone so timid and restrained—could you take her out in society? Could she manage this vast household? She’d only bring shame to the family and give me more worries. Jiang Xiyun may have her flaws, but she’s among the most outstanding young ladies. There’s no such thing as perfection in this world. After all the comparing, she still stands out above the others. Your father wrote in his letter a few days ago that although Jiang Jia has been reprimanded, the emperor only fined Jiang Xuecheng a year’s salary and demoted him by one rank, showing that imperial favor remains. Besides, their family has an accomplished eldest son. You understand these stakes better than I do."The conversation circled back to this topic again, and Lin Jinlou furrowed his brows once more. Qin Shi paused before saying, "I know Chen Xianglan is the one you hold dear in your heart. This girl is truly endearing, and with me here, she won’t be mistreated. When spring arrives, we’ll pick an auspicious day to bring her into the household with all due ceremony. I’ll personally prepare the feast for her. However, given her status... it was fine when you had no wife, but now that we’re about to discuss marriage with the Jiang family, it’s no longer appropriate for her to stay in the main residence. I’ve already promised the Jiang family that she’ll move out within a day or two."
Lin Jinlou immediately grew displeased and said, "Why did you agree to this with the Jiang family without consulting me?"
Qin Shi retorted angrily, "This matter is obvious. What is there to discuss? For now, we must take a step back to appease the Jiang family."
Lin Jinlou’s face tightened as he said, "No, she cannot move."
"Why not? Do you plan to keep her enshrined in the main residence forever?" Qin Shi grew angrier as she spoke. She stood up and took two steps toward Lin Jinlou, gritting her teeth. "Or are you going to dote on a concubine and neglect your wife, driving me to my grave with anger?"
"It’s not like that... She just can’t move... I won’t allow it. Even if she must move, it shouldn’t be done like this." If Xianglan were to move out of the main residence now, all the favor he had previously shown her would become a mockery. Lin Jinlou stood up and made to leave. He could no longer bear sitting there, as Xianglan’s pale, delicate face flashed before his eyes—her calm yet weary expression, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, utterly helpless as she said to him, "I’m afraid... that one day I’ll end up just like her."
Qin Shi shouted furiously, "Stop right there!" She had always been strong-willed in life, and even Lin Changzheng yielded to her to some extent. Yet, she found herself unable to control her eldest son. Choking back a sob, she said, "What sins did I commit in my past life...?"
Lin Jinlou was filled with frustration, but seeing Qin Shi’s anger flare up again, he had no choice but to turn back and say, "Please don’t worry about this matter..."
"How can I not worry? Since you were young, you’ve always stumbled over matters like this. Aside from your grandfather, is there no one who can rein you in? Am I not your own mother?"
"Yes, yes, no one has ever denied that." Lin Jinlou stepped closer and massaged Qin Shi’s shoulders. "I know what I’m doing in this matter. If anything goes wrong, you can have Grandfather beat me. If the old man uses his cane to strike me dead, don’t you dare stop him."
"Bah! What nonsense!"
"Alright, just don’t concern yourself with the affairs of my household. Even if she must move out, it doesn’t have to be in the next day or two... Tomorrow, I’ll invite an opera troupe to perform a couple of acts to lift the mood."
By the time Lin Jinlou had coaxed Qin Shi into leaving, it was already time to light the lamps. To please his mother, he had forced himself to listen to her gossip about various relatives, endure her occasional scolding, and accompany her as she reviewed embroidery patterns, commenting on which ones looked better. It felt like pure torment, more exhausting than leading troops into battle. He trudged back to his bedroom with his head drooping. Xianglan was still asleep, lying soundly on the bed under a thin diamond-patterned silk quilt. Her brows were slightly furrowed, her lips slightly pouted, and her cheeks were flushed with a childlike innocence and vulnerability. Lin Jinlou’s expression gradually softened. He gently brushed his lips against hers, then sat by the bed, silently watching her for a long time before letting out a deep, heavy sigh.Qin Shi returned to her residence and ordered her maid to bring out the writing brush, ink, paper, and inkstone. She first wrote a lengthy letter to Lin Changzheng, then carefully composed another to Lin Zhaoxiang. After reading through both letters, she made fresh copies, blew the ink dry, and sealed them with wax. She then summoned Wu Mama and instructed, "One of these letters is for the Old Master, the other for the Master. Have your two sons deliver them personally—ensure it's done properly." Wu Mama acknowledged the order but couldn't resist asking, "Madam, what is this about...?"
Qin Shi sighed and said, "It's all because of that troublesome Lou Ge'er. I can't control his reckless behavior, so I'm reporting this to the Old Master and the Master for them to decide." Noticing a bowl of lotus root and taro ball soup on the table, she ordered a portion to be sent to Mengfang Courtyard. Remembering that Lin Jinlou had mentioned Xianglan was feeling unwell after drinking too much, she hesitated for a moment before finally dispatching a maid to deliver a bowl to Xianglan as well. No more need be said.
In the main hall of Mengfang Courtyard, behind a large wooden screen carved with the Seven Treasures of Buddhism, Ruoqing whispered, "...That's what Chunling said. The Lin family's Madam wanted Xianglan to move out of the main quarters, but Master Lin firmly stopped it. What do you think... Miss, must we continue to endure this?"
Jiang Xiyun merely stared blankly at the flickering candle flame on the table. Seeing her pale complexion, Ruoqing dared not say more and quietly stepped aside.
(My Weibo: Search for He Yanshan on Sina Weibo.)
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