After speaking, Lin Jinlou fell silent. The room was enveloped in stillness, and it was impossible to tell how much time had passed before the sound of the night watchman striking three watches echoed from outside. Xianglan knew Lin Jinlou had not slept at all; she lay quietly as well, her mind lingering on the question he had asked her: "Xianglan, do you still resent me?" Suddenly, her nose tingled with emotion, her heart feeling as weathered as if it had journeyed over countless mountains and rivers, and as heavy as if it had endured repeated upheavals in the misty, vast world.
At the stroke of mao hour the next day, Lin Jinlou rose and called for attendants to help him wash and dress. Xianglan silently got up as well. Once they had finished their ablutions, Lin Jinlou ordered a carriage to be prepared and asked for his Singed Wool cloak to be brought. Xianglan hesitated and said, "Master, are you going out?"
Lin Jinlou gave an "Mm" in response, then said to Xianglan, "Change your clothes too and come with me."
"But Master, you're injured—"
"It's nothing."
"But—"
"I said it's nothing." Lin Jinlou turned his face slightly and, seeing Xianglan's brows tightly locked, softened his tone. "I've thought it over all night, and this trip must be made. Don't ask any more questions. Get ready; we'll be back in at most half an hour."
Xianglan still wanted to inquire further, but seeing Lin Jinlou's stern expression and furrowed brow as he summoned Ling Qing and Ling Su to prepare ink and brushes, and repeatedly urged her to change her clothes, she had no choice. Lin Jinlou had always been decisive, so Xianglan reluctantly changed her clothes. Before departing, they each had a bowl of hot noodle soup, and then they set off.
The sky was still dark at that time, with a full moon hanging obliquely in the night sky. Eight servant boys carried lanterns on either side, accompanied by over a dozen guards on horseback with swords at their waists. Inside the carriage, a thick gray squirrel blanket was spread, along with a large copper foot-warmer blanket, burning Pine and Cypress incense and lily grass. Lin Jinlou sat half-reclining against a ink-splashed cushion, while Xianglan knelt at the other end. She stole a glance at him; the dim light in the carriage made it hard to discern his expression, but she could vaguely see that he still seemed lost in thought.
After traveling for about the time it takes an incense stick to burn, the carriage stopped. Ji Xiang approached the carriage, exhaling two puffs of white breath, rubbed his hands together, bent respectfully, and said, "Master, we've arrived."
Lin Jinlou responded with an "Mm." Shuangxi immediately stepped forward to lift the curtain, and everyone carefully helped Lin Jinlou out. A servant boy had already brought a chair, spread with a thick wolf-skin cushion, and assisted him in sitting down. Xianglan looked up and realized they had left the city. Ahead of them was a relay station, where two men stood in a long pavilion, holding wine cups as if bidding farewell. Looking more closely, she saw that the man facing her wore a half-new indigo woolen cloak and a white fox fur hat. Against the backdrop of emerald pines and cypresses, he appeared tall and elegant—who else could it be but Song Ke?
Their eyes met unintentionally, and Song Ke immediately froze, his expression one of disbelief. Xianglan was also startled, covering her mouth with her hand and unconsciously taking half a step back before lowering her head to look at Lin Jinlou.
Lin Jinlou sat in the official's chair, his lips pressed together, holding a Plum Orchid Chrysanthemum hand warmer. The biting cold wind whipped the black fox fur on his hat, making his face beneath it appear even paler and his demeanor listless. Noticing Xianglan looking at him, he smiled and said, "Go and see him. This is the last time. I might as well play the good person now. In the future, with mountains and waters separating us, even if you grew wings, you wouldn't be able to meet again."
Xianglan blinked, staring blankly at Lin Jinlou, feeling as if she must have misheard.At once, Shuangxi lifted her hem and scurried forward to invite Song Ke over. The one bidding farewell to Song Ke was Lin Jinting, who gaped in astonishment, looking from Song Ke to Lin Jinlou. He rubbed his hands together and was about to approach when Lin Jinlou shot him a glare, freezing him in place.
Ji Xiang handed Xianglan a package wrapped in blue satin, whispering, "The Master knows you are sincere and always repay kindness. This is what he prepared for you."
Xianglan opened it and saw a thick stack of banknotes and two gold ingots inside. Startled again, she turned to look back. Lin Jinlou still held the hand warmer, expressionless, sitting like a wax statue. Xianglan turned her head away, feeling her eyes grow warm. When she looked up again, Song Ke had already approached, stopping a foot away from her. He cupped his hands and said, "Thank you, General Lin, for coming to see me off."
Lin Jinlou coughed twice and smiled, "Brother Yifei, you're too kind. I am injured and cannot rise to greet you properly—please forgive my discourtesy. My family has repeatedly received your great kindness. Your benefactor is my benefactor, so it is only right that I come to express my gratitude."
Before he finished speaking, a tall woman emerged from one of the three carriages parked outside the pavilion. Wearing a silver-white cloak and holding a young child, she walked straight toward them.
Xianglan saw that it was Zheng Jingxian. Now, after her family's great upheaval—her father's suicide in prison, her mother's death from illness two days prior, the confiscation of her maternal family's property, and the unknown fate of her siblings—Zheng Jingxian appeared haggard and gaunt, nearly emaciated. Yet her back remained straight, and the pride and spirit in her face were undiminished.
Lin Jinlou nodded slightly and smiled first, "Cousin, you've come." Xianglan also curtsied in greeting.
Zheng Jingxian only bowed to Lin Jinlou, saying, "Cousin, hello." She then glanced at Xianglan and said with a laugh, "Oh, you're here too. Everyone in the capital says the Lin Family's new concubine has great influence, and it seems true. I suppose you and Cousin have been deeply affectionate lately, unlike your previous aggrieved appearance."
Lin Jinlou, ever sharp, didn't wait for Xianglan to speak and chuckled, "Bring your son over for me to see. I haven't met this little fellow yet." Zheng Jingxian took two steps forward, coaxing the child, "Good boy, call him Uncle." The child, about two years old, had fair, tender skin, a chubby face, and large, bright eyes that darted around—truly a clever and adorable little jade. He didn't speak, only sucked his finger and stared at Lin Jinlou.
Lin Jinlou untied a jade pendant with a five-colored long-tasseled palace ribbon from his waist and handed it to Zheng Jingxian, saying, "I came in haste; consider this a meeting gift."
Zheng Jingxian accepted it with a smile, "Then I won't stand on ceremony." She glanced at Xianglan and added, "Later, have Sister Xianglan give you a little one too. I know several physicians who specialize in difficult ailments and recuperation."
Song Ke couldn't help but frown. Rumors had spread vaguely that Xianglan, harmed by the Jiang Sisters, would have difficulty conceiving in the future. Zheng Jingxian's intentional or unintentional jab was sure to unsettle Lin Jinlou. Indeed, Lin Jinlou laughed and said, "Look at this cousin—more concerned about my heirs than our Taitai. After all, you're a married woman now and don't speak as reservedly as when you were a maiden."
Song Ke said to Zheng Jingxian, "General Lin came specially to see us off. Why say such things? The young master's face is red from the cold; hurry and take him back to the carriage."Zheng Jingxian knew Song Ke had helped her out of an awkward situation and said, “Slap my mouth, slap my mouth—that was a slip of the tongue. Cousin, please don’t laugh at me.”
Lin Jinlou merely smiled faintly and said to Xianglan, “Step aside for a moment. I have a few words to say to Brother Yifei in private.”
Zheng Jingxian could not linger any longer and carried her child back to the carriage. Xianglan followed behind her. Zheng Jingxian asked, “Why are you following me?”
Xianglan replied, “Isn’t Madam Song also in the carriage? It’s been a long time since I last saw her. By both reason and courtesy, I should go and kowtow to her.”
Zheng Jingxian gritted her teeth, turned around with the child in her arms, and walked away. After boarding the carriage, she lifted the curtain a crack and saw Xianglan enter Madam Song’s carriage. After a while, it was Song Ke’s mother who personally escorted her out. The two held each other’s hands tightly, and Madam Song continuously wiped away tears. Xianglan comforted her for a while before they finally bid each other farewell.
Meanwhile, Lin Jinlou ordered someone to warm a cup of wine for Song Ke. He lowered his head and stroked the hand warmer, then looked up. The two men locked eyes for a moment before Song Ke smiled slightly and said, “I wonder what General Lin wishes to say to me.”
Lin Jinlou curled his lips and said, “No need for all that tedious and pretentious courtesy. We both know very well—you don’t like seeing me, and I’m not exactly thrilled to see you either.”
Song Ke raised his eyebrows and asked, “Then why has General Lin come here today—”
“It’s all because of that stubborn girl Xianglan. She’s always regarded you as her benefactor. If I hadn’t brought her, I’m afraid she would have carried this unease in her heart for the rest of her life. I’ve said it before—her benefactor is my benefactor. If she wants to repay your kindness, I’ll do it alongside her.”
Song Ke was taken aback, then smiled and lowered his head.
Lin Jinlou said in a deep voice, “Besides, I really should thank you. If you hadn’t saved her back then, Zhao Yuechan might have sold her off to who knows where.” He took a letter from his sleeve and handed it over, saying, “This is for you.”
Song Ke looked up. “What is this—”
Lin Jinlou said, “General Yang, who is stationed at the Guizhou border, is an old acquaintance of mine. He owes me a small favor. Take this letter and go to him. He’s a righteous man and will look out for you. Guizhou is plagued by bandits these days. With a general watching your back, you can still manage as the county magistrate. Additionally, I’ll send a few guards to escort you and your family along the way. Don’t be a stubborn scholar, puffing out your chest and saying you won’t accept charity. Your mother, wife, and child are traveling with you. You know better than anyone how long and treacherous this journey is. If you insist on pride—”
“Thank you, General Lin.” Before Lin Jinlou could finish, Song Ke took the letter, clasped his hands, and said, “I am grateful for General Lin’s kindness and will not disappoint you.”
Lin Jinlou narrowed his eyes, waved his hand, and smiled. He sighed, “Good. More dignified than I expected.”
Song Ke’s face still wore a faint smile, but as he looked down at the letter, his smile faded and gradually turned into a bitter one. He said softly, “I sincerely hope you will love her well and cherish her.”
Lin Jinlou was taken aback and waved his hand impatiently. “I like her very much.”
Song Ke looked up and said, “That’s not the same. Liking is merely a pastime; love is a treasure held close to the heart.”
Lin Jinlou fell silent, narrowing his eyes slightly as he looked at him. Song Ke turned his face away, gazing at a distant pine tree, and said, “She values her dignity and self-respect too much to ever be a Concubine. No matter how much it pained me, I had to let her go, because only then could she be happy. She is such a remarkable person, having endured so much hardship. I implore you, General, not to possess her merely because you are fond of her beauty, but to love her character and be willing to give for her sake—or to let her be happy.”Lin Jinlou remained silent, gazing up at the drifting clouds in the sky. Suddenly, he spoke: "Song Yifei, your flaw lies in being soft-hearted when you should be ruthless, and indecisive when you should yield. Once you’ve made a choice, you struggle to overcome the hurdles in your heart. Only when you learn to be resolute will you accomplish something meaningful."
After these words, neither had more to say. With matters settled thus, Song Ke took his leave. On his way back, he happened to meet Xianglan. Song Ke halted, his throat tightening, and clasped his hands in a formal salute. After a long pause, he finally murmured, "How have you been?"
Xianglan replied softly, "I’ve been well." After a moment’s hesitation, she added, "The journey to Guizhou is long and arduous. You must take good care of yourself."
Silence fell between them, broken only by the sound of the wind. Song Ke suddenly spoke again: "After I take up my post in Guizhou, I will work diligently to be a good official."
Xianglan looked at him in surprise, then nodded with a faint smile. "Having lived two lives and studied the classics so earnestly, you’ve always aimed to apply your learning to governance. You will surely be a good official."
Song Ke shook his head. "No, I won’t." He sighed deeply. "I studied only to bring glory to my family and restore our fortunes—for rank, honor, and wealth. That’s why, when faced with setbacks, I grew impatient and sought shortcuts, flattering myself that I was clever enough to have everything go my way someday. But fate played tricks on me, and instead, I suffered repeated failures. Though I despise Lin Jinlou, I am not his equal. He has risked life and limb to defend our country—what have I accomplished all these years? Before submitting my request for the Guizhou post, I reflected deeply. I no longer seek fame or rank; I only wish to do more practical deeds for the people. Even if I spend my whole life in remote borderlands, I will be at peace so long as I can look up and down without shame before heaven and earth, without betraying the years I spent studying the classics, and without dishonoring the hardships I’ve endured through two lifetimes."
Xianglan’s heart trembled. She gathered her skirts and bowed deeply. "For these words alone, I offer you my utmost respect."
Song Ke smiled bitterly, his gaze fixed on Xianglan. "It’s a pity I realized this truth too late. Otherwise, back then, I would never have—"
Xianglan shook her head. "Both our lives have been marked by great ups and downs. Sometimes, I too wonder why fate is so unkind, why heaven treats me this way. How wonderful it would be to live without worries. But without being tempered and stripped of vanity, one cannot view the world with humility and grace. In this life, we cannot have everything as we wish. There are things we dislike but must do; there are people we cherish but must part from. Gatherings and separations are unpredictable; the world is full of upheavals. When we cannot change things, we must endure. I used to dislike the word ‘endurance,’ but now I understand that true gold is forged through a hundred trials. Endure the Night, and dawn will come; endure the harsh winter, and spring will arrive. Those hardships I once thought I could never survive now seem like calm waters in memory." She looked at Song Ke and said gently, "Let it go."
Song Ke’s heart quivered, and tears welled up in his eyes. He struggled to hold them back, and Xianglan became a blurred figure in his sight.Zheng Jingxian sat in the carriage and let out a deep sigh. She was not a petty person, but how could she be magnanimous toward the woman her husband could never forget? Chen Xianglan was a thorn embedded in her heart, disturbing her peace every day. This was especially true when she saw Song Ke's polite yet lukewarm demeanor toward her, so different from the tender affection she had once seen in his eyes when he looked at Xianglan. Since Song Tanchai entered the palace, Song Ke had grown increasingly distant. She couldn't help but quarrel and make scenes, yet the two of them gradually became like strangers. Now that her supportive maternal family had declined, she deeply feared Song Ke would abandon her. How could she allow that? She had given him such profound love, and he was now her only remaining source of reliance and warmth. Watching her husband exchange glances with that woman, she could no longer endure it. She lifted the curtain and stepped out, nearly stumbling from the carriage, and cried out, "Husband!" Her voice was sharp and sorrowful. Startled, Song Ke turned his head to see Zheng Jingxian staggering toward him.
Xianglan smiled slightly, bowed once more to Song Ke, and said, "Though the mountains are high and the rivers long, let us each take care from here." Gracefully, she rose and departed.
Song Ke stepped forward to steady Zheng Jingxian and glanced back, catching only a glimpse of Xianglan's slender retreating figure. He lowered his head and said, "Let's return. It's time to set off." He looked back once more and saw Xianglan had already reached Lin Jinlou's side.
Back in the carriage, observing Zheng Jingxian's anxious expression, Song Ke felt a sudden surge of melancholy. He let out a long sigh—yes, it was time to let go. He reached out, covering and holding Zheng Jingxian's hand, and said, "Don't let your thoughts run wild. You are my wife, and I will never abandon you. We are meant to live together for a long, long time." Zheng Jingxian's heart eased, but she couldn't suppress a sob, burying her face in Song Ke's shoulder as tears streamed down her face.
Standing behind Lin Jinlou, Xianglan watched the Song family's carriage creak away along the official road. Only then did the tears she had struggled to hold back begin to fall, drop by drop. Song Ke—her husband in a past life, a passerby in this life, a frequent guest in her warm memories. But a guest, after all, cannot stay forever. Song Ke, farewell. With this parting, like floating clouds under the bright sun, like the moon at the ends of the earth, she had finally sent this guest on his way.
(Song Ke is but a passing guest. If fate has run its course, let go and bid a proper farewell.)
OpenNovel