Ruan Yu sat on the carpet, her face buried tightly in her hands.
Xu Huaisong stared at the two boxes, slowly adjusted his glasses, and turned his head to find her peeking at him through her fingers. When their eyes met, she quickly squeezed her fingers shut again.
So he turned his gaze back to the boxes.
Ruan Yu buried her face between her knees with a woeful expression.
This posture was clearly a silent plea for rescue.
After watching for a while, maintaining an appearance of "calm composure," he moved closer and crouched beside her. "How old are you, still eating bubblegum?" he asked.
"..."
Ruan Yu looked up, startled.
"Huh?" she blurted out in confusion.
So he didn't recognize what these were? Was this due to cultural differences between China and America?
Xu Huaisong naturally turned to rummage through the other snacks in the bag, pulling them out one by one: "Jelly, shrimp chips, gummy candy... how old are you really?"
Seeing his genuinely perplexed expression that seemed to say "no wonder you were afraid I'd laugh at you," Ruan Yu's flushed face gradually returned to normal. "I-is that not allowed?"
Xu Huaisong glanced at her with a smile. "Whatever makes you happy." He reached to put the two boxes back in the bag.
Ruan Yu swiftly snatched them into her arms: "These are mine. You can have the others..."
He patted her head. "Not fighting you for them." Then he offered his hand to pull her up. "Come on, get up."
Clutching the small boxes, Ruan Yu used his strength to stand, then watched as he walked toward the bedroom, saying, "I'll read for a bit before sleeping."
She nodded, tidied up the living room, hid the boxes in a drawer, and when she entered the bedroom, she saw Xu Huaisong leaning against the headboard, flipping through a book of practice problems with intense focus, completely unaffected by the earlier incident.
He genuinely didn't recognize condoms.
Not knowing whether to laugh or cry, Ruan Yu walked past him into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Staring at the mirror, she couldn't describe her current emotions.
Was this relief? Or sorrow?
She brushed for a full ten minutes until her teeth ached before finally composing herself. Cheerfully sliding the door open, she climbed into bed: "We're exhausted today, no more studying—sleep time!"
Xu Huaisong gave an "mm" and closed his notebook.
Ruan Yu smiled at him, but when her gaze swept across the book cover in his hands, her smile froze.
Was his book... upside down?
Xu Huaisong set the book on the nightstand, turned off the ceiling light, and left only the hallway light by the door for illumination.
The room instantly darkened. Ruan Yu blinked blankly, replaying the brief glimpse of the book cover to confirm she hadn't imagined it.
So he'd been reading an upside-down book for ten minutes without realizing?
Then what had he been preoccupied with?
"..."
Ruan Yu slowly pulled back the covers, slowly slid in, and slowly stared at the ceiling.
He knew what condoms were.
How could he not know what condoms were?
Knowing yet pretending not to know—to protect her dignity.
Knowing yet pretending not to know—because the so-called "wolf has no tableware" had always been an excuse.
Choosing to take cold showers and read upside-down books rather than cross that line—until he deemed it right.
At eighteen, he wouldn't say "like" because he couldn't determine their future. At twenty-six, he wouldn't say "love" because he couldn't be certain of their future.
Even when that love had grown heavy enough to make him turn the steering wheel that way.
Ruan Yu's nose stung as she fought back tears, gazing at the extinguished ceiling light.
Oh Xu Huaisong, why must you be so foolish?She was so foolish that Ruan Yu couldn't even stay angry anymore.
Just as Xu Huaisong was about to lie down, he noticed her staring at the ceiling with an expression that seemed to say, "I'm moved to tears." He paused. "What's up there?"
Ruan Yu sniffled, suppressing a sob. "This lamp is so beautiful..."
"..."
Xu Huaisong fell silent for a moment. "Want me to turn it on?"
She shook her head. "It's beautiful when it's off too..."
Propping himself up on his elbow, he blinked. "Then sit and admire it for a while?"
She nodded.
Xu Huaisong lay back down first.
Ruan Yu hugged her knees, continuing to gaze at the ceiling lamp to calm her emotions, but the surging feelings inside her only grew stronger.
Xu Huaisong, who was silent when he was sad.
Xu Huaisong, who was silent when he loved.
This man wasn’t a dazzling firework or earth-shattering thunder. He was a slow-flowing stream, winding past rocks and gullies, quietly nurturing the finest love in the world, delivering it bit by bit to her side.
Gentle and shallow, yet capable of flowing forever.
Ruan Yu tugged at the blanket and slowly lay down, turning to face him. "Xu Huaisong," she said, "will there ever come a day when you grow tired of me and leave me?"
Xu Huaisong, lying flat on his back, immediately furrowed his brows at her words. He turned his head toward her. "No." Then he asked, "What are you—"
"I won’t leave you either," she interrupted. "Really, I won’t."
The tension in his brow eased, and then he watched as she inched closer. "So, there’s no uncertain future between us."
"Mm." He sighed with a smile. "No need to comfort me. I know it was a misunderstanding before."
Ruan Yu shook her head, signaling that she wasn’t just comforting him, and stammered, "What I mean is... since that’s the case, why don’t we... just be together now?"
He froze. "We’ve already been together for two—"
"I mean," she cut him off urgently but couldn’t bring herself to say it. "I mean..."
Xu Huaisong understood her meaning from her flustered expression and blinked slowly.
In the flicker of his gaze, it was as if stars had fallen into his eyes.
He stayed silent for a long time before finally asking, "Are you serious?"
Afraid that even the slightest hesitation might make him retreat again, Ruan Yu nodded firmly without hesitation. "It has nothing to do with whether you saved me or how you feel. It’s just that I want..."
To give herself to him.
After speaking, she lowered her eyes and fixed them stubbornly on the tip of her nose, not daring to look at him.
Xu Huaisong remained motionless for a long time, just watching her.
Just as Ruan Yu closed her eyes, steeled herself, and was about to lean in herself, he gently cupped her chin, confirming one last time. "Then I won’t hold back anymore..."
She closed her eyes softly and nodded.
...
Author's Note: There are nearly two thousand more words on my Weibo. Time is limited, hurry up! This patriotic installment is titled "Speed at Seventy Miles, Heart Free and Unfettered," and the password is "u9by." (Not a private message—just click the shared link directly.)
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