The so-called careful calculation was fake, and the claim of "having enough leeway to stop Wei Jin" was also a lie.
At the moment the accident happened, whether he turned the steering wheel or crashed into the bumper, none of it had anything to do with his original intention of pursuing Wei Jin.
In that life-or-death instant, all that remained was his instinct to protect her.
There was no time to think about anything else.
Ruan Yu wiped her tears with the back of her hand, only to find them rolling down faster and hotter.
Yet the person who had made her cry like this was still casually pouring seasoning into his instant noodles as if nothing had happened.
She put down her phone and got up, walking into the kitchen.
Amid the sound of the boiling kettle, Xu Huaisong detected movement behind him. Just as he was about to turn and ask, "What's wrong?" she wrapped her arms around him from behind.
His movements paused, spilling some seasoning as he glanced down at her hands clasped around his waist.
She didn’t say a word, only letting out soft, shaky breaths. A damp warmth seeped into his shirt.
At that moment, he didn’t need her to speak to understand why she was crying.
Xu Huaisong lowered his gaze, gently pried her hands away, and turned around.
His expression hadn’t softened because of her tears—on the contrary, it remained tense.
He closed his eyes briefly, as if unwilling to face her sorrow, and pleaded softly, "Can you stop crying?"
Ruan Yu froze, her breath hitching.
Xu Huaisong sighed.
He didn’t want to see her cry.
From the moment the airbag deployed, he hadn’t shaken off the lingering fear. Outwardly, he had calmly handled the aftermath and now stood here making noodles, but inside, his emotions were a raging storm.
It was he who had dragged her into danger first. He was the one who owed her an apology. Yet in the end, she was looking at him with eyes that seemed to say, "From now on, I can trust you with everything."
Her tears left him speechless.
Xu Huaisong shut his eyes, brows tightly furrowed.
Ruan Yu tilted her head up, her initial confusion giving way to the emotions she saw flickering between his brows—guilt, self-blame, remorse.
Suddenly, she understood.
Just as he finally gathered himself and opened his mouth to speak, she beat him to it, her tears turning into a laugh. "Wow, Xu Huaisong, you’re really something."
Xu Huaisong was taken aback.
She lifted her gaze to meet his eyes. "The bridge clearance is over forty meters high. If Wei Jin had jumped, he’d have had almost no chance of survival. Plus, with a hostage in his hands, the police might’ve had to shoot him to save the hostage. You couldn’t let him die, so when the police cars couldn’t get close in time, you chased after him without much thought. I get it..."
Then her tone shifted, and she huffed quietly, "—And yet, at a time like this, you still expect me to comfort you with words like these?"
Xu Huaisong was stunned again. Normally quick-witted, he found himself slow to react to her twists and turns. After a pause, he murmured, "Comfort wouldn’t help anyway."
Ruan Yu wiped her tears and lifted her chin. "Right? Comfort wouldn’t help. Let’s imagine another scenario—if you hadn’t chased after him today and Wei Jin had died, then I might’ve been the one drowning in guilt. No matter how much you comforted me, I’d still think—if it weren’t for me holding you back, you wouldn’t have missed the best chance to stop him, right?"She smiled as she spoke: "Life is full of unexpected moments where there simply isn't a perfect choice—every option has its drawbacks. But the reality now is that Wei Jin has been arrested, you're safe, and so am I. I can comfort you without feeling guilty. This outcome? I've hit the jackpot!"
Xu Huaisong's eyes flickered slightly as he reached out to caress her cheek.
How had he ever deserved the understanding of such a brave girl?
His touch was feather-light, as if the weight of his boundless love made him afraid to press too hard.
Then Ruan Yu said, "Hey, actually, I wanted to say this earlier—if you have time to wallow in guilt, don't you have time to kiss me?"
The emotions he'd suppressed all afternoon crumbled at her words. Xu Huaisong lowered his head and captured her lips.
Ruan Yu took a startled step back, muffled protests escaping between kisses as she vaguely pointed behind him. "The... the curtains aren't closed..."
Rather than bothering with the troublesome blinds, Xu Huaisong simply scooped her up and carried her into the bedroom.
The room was dark. When Ruan Yu moved to turn on the light, Xu Huaisong caught her hand, cradled her face, and tangled their lips together again.
Ruan Yu returned his kiss, her hands sliding up from his waist to loop around his neck.
Her initiative spurred him on, deepening the kiss.
He seemed accustomed to releasing his emotions in darkness, but for Ruan Yu, the shadows gradually brought back memories of that afternoon's terror and the male commentator's words: "Dodging it was pure luck."
She too understood now the desire to seek security in intimacy.
No matter how tightly they clung together, it never felt like enough to truly hold onto someone she'd nearly lost.
She grew unsatisfied with simple kisses, pressing closer against him.
But Xu Huaisong chose that moment to step back.
Confused, she followed.
He retreated again.
She advanced.
Then came a soft thud.
They tumbled onto the bed with Ruan Yu on top of Xu Huaisong.
Beneath Xu Huaisong was the soft mattress.
What Ruan Yu felt against her, however, was anything but soft.
"..." Secret discovered.
"..." Secret exposed.
They panted in the dark, staring wordlessly at each other.
Yet certain "changes" became increasingly apparent in their close contact, growing so obvious that Ruan Yu gaped, even her breathing stalling.
It felt like there was an extra pounding heartbeat against her lower abdomen...
In the heavy silence, Xu Huaisong gripped her shoulders to move her aside, only to hiss softly when the motion caused friction.
Clearing his throat, he said, "Go eat your noodles. I need a shower."
Ruan Yu caught his hand. "Wait... will a shower really help?"
"It... should," he answered with his back to her. "Probably..."
With that, he turned and fled into the bathroom. When he emerged twenty minutes later, Ruan Yu was nowhere to be found.
Not in the living room. Not in the bedroom. Her phone was gone too.
Xu Huaisong called her. "Where are you?"
Ruan Yu's cheerful voice answered, "The instant noodles were terrible, so I went out to get something better..."
"If you wanted something else, you should've told me. Why go out alone at night?" He moved toward the entryway to put on shoes. "Where are you? I'll come find you.""No need!" Ruan Yu frantically stopped him, "I'll be back soon, just wait for me at home!"
Ruan Yu wasn't very good at lying. Any worries on her mind could hardly escape his notice.
Just like a few days ago when she'd seemed off after returning from a meeting at Huanshi.
Xu Huaisong paused in putting on his shoes, lowered his gaze slightly, and said in a flat tone, "Alright, then be careful."
On the other end, Ruan Yu hung up the phone and patted her startled chest, letting out a long exhale. Then suddenly, she heard a voice from behind: "Little girl, why are you sneaking around buying condoms?"
She jumped and turned to see a heavily made-up woman looking at her with confusion.
Standing in front of the convenience store shelf, Ruan Yu forced a laugh, "Uh, well..."
The woman seemed to understand from her expression and pointed at the colorful shelf, saying, "Oh... need some help?"
Ruan Yu swallowed hard, her eyes already answering that "yes."
"Here," the woman picked up a box, "first-timers can use this one—easy to put on."
"Why is it easy?"
The woman said with utmost seriousness, "Because it's big."
"..."
"Oh, not big enough? Then try this one," she picked up another box, "less likely to hurt."
Ruan Yu humbly asked again, "Why is it less likely to hurt?"
"Because it's lubricated."
Holding both boxes, Ruan Yu frowned in hesitation, then laughed awkwardly and cautiously asked, "Is there one that's both big and lubricated?"
When Ruan Yu got home, she saw Xu Huaisong eating instant noodles alone with his head down.
She froze, "I bought boxed meals, why did you start eating already?"
He glanced at the large bag in her hand and said, "I was hungry."
Ruan Yu replied, "Oh, then if you're still hungry, you can have some of mine." She placed her meal next to him and started eating, occasionally sneaking glances at his pants.
Noticing her gaze, Xu Huaisong paused his fork, but when he looked at her again, she was diligently poking at a braised pork ball.
So he lowered his head and continued eating his noodles.
Ruan Yu, however, was too nervous to eat much and soon closed her box.
Xu Huaisong glanced at her barely touched meal but said nothing.
She threw away the leftovers and cleaned up, then after a while said, "I'm going to shower."
Xu Huaisong gave a quiet "Mm."
In the shower, Ruan Yu took deep breaths to calm herself. When she came out, she saw Xu Huaisong sitting on the sofa with his hands clasped, lost in thought, seeming somewhat down.
She walked over curiously, "What are you thinking about? Still upset about this afternoon?"
He shook his head and said, "I'll go to America alone tomorrow."
Ruan Yu was stunned. He still had work in America and would need to reschedule, but why was he leaving her behind?
Xu Huaisong continued, "Originally, I only took you along because of Wei Jin. Now that he's been caught, there's no need for you to suffer with me."
"But I didn't go with you just because of Wei Jin," Ruan Yu frowned and sat beside him, "I didn't want to be apart from you."
Xu Huaisong turned his head slightly, his expression conflicted, "You don't have to tie yourself to me because of what happened this afternoon. If you had better options before..."
Ruan Yu was completely baffled, sensing something was off with him.Indeed, Xu Huaisong had been acting strange even before today. It's just that Ruan Yu had her own concerns weighing on her mind, so she hadn't paid much attention to his behavior.
Now that her mind was clearer, she noticed he was still in low spirits, and it didn't seem related to what happened in the afternoon.
She reached out to touch the back of his hand. "What's wrong? Has something been bothering you lately?"
Xu Huaisong took a deep breath. "It's you who has something on your mind."
Ruan Yu was taken aback for a moment before nodding. "Yes, I do..."
He gently moved her hand away. "That night when you wanted to tell me something, I interrupted you. Go ahead and say it now."
Xu Huaisong was referring to the evening after she returned from the meeting at Huanshi.
Before answering, Ruan Yu sensed something from this distant gesture.
So, he had deliberately interrupted her that day?
She asked, "You purposely said you wanted to sleep early, and then the next day, you deliberately went on a business trip to Suzhou—was it all because you didn't want to hear what I had to say?"
"Yes." Xu Huaisong lowered his eyes slightly. "I didn't actually have a business trip to Suzhou that day. After leaving in the morning, I walked along the Qiantang River for a while."
"..."
"Why?" Ruan Yu widened her eyes in surprise. After asking, she tried to piece things together in her mind.
Xu Huaisong had deliberately avoided the conversation, likely because he misunderstood and thought she was going to say something unpleasant. That day, after returning from the Qiantang River, he had urgently asked if she wanted to go to America with him.
In truth, Wei Jin was just an excuse. He was afraid she would leave him, so he wanted to take her away.
But why did he think she would leave him?
Before Xu Huaisong could answer, Ruan Yu suddenly understood.
That day at Huanshi, Li Shican had silently waited to see her off as she got into the car. Later, he sent her a WeChat message. And at that very moment, she had asked Xu Huaisong if he thought she was selfish.
Selfish—meaning she only took and never gave.
So Xu Huaisong had mistakenly believed she was referring to accepting Li Shican's help without reciprocating.
He thought the struggle she was wrestling with was whether or not to respond to Li Shican.
"..." After realizing this, Ruan Yu was speechless, feeling like an idiot.
Of course, Xu Huaisong was even more of an idiot.
She said in astonishment, "Earlier, when I told you not to come to the convenience store, you didn't think..."
That her evasiveness had something to do with Li Shican, did he?
Xu Huaisong remained silent, seemingly confirming her suspicion.
Ruan Yu was both exasperated and amused. "Xu Huaisong, you're really going to be the death of me!"
He blinked in surprise.
Ruan Yu turned to grab her phone and opened the chat with Lü Shenglan. "Here, take a good look at what's actually been bothering me."
Xu Huaisong skimmed through the chat history and frowned. "What did she say to you?"
Originally, Ruan Yu had been unsure how to bring this up, but now she didn't hold back and straightforwardly explained everything that had happened.
After listening, Xu Huaisong pinched the bridge of his nose.
Ruan Yu asked irritably, "What's wrong? Do you have a headache?"
He shook his head. "Liver pain."
He was fuming.
"My liver hurts more than yours!" She sniffled. "You misunderstood me like this, didn't even give me a chance to explain before passing judgment... Can't you just talk things out properly? Must you always keep silent like gold?"
The more she spoke, the angrier she became. Finally, she stood up from the sofa and paced back and forth, as if only movement could ease the frustration in her heart.Xu Huaisong also sat quietly for a moment to collect his thoughts, then stood up and pulled her back. "I was wrong. I won't keep things bottled up anymore."
Ruan Yu took a deep breath. "You'd better pray there is a 'next time.'"
"Don't be like that..." He pulled her into his embrace. "I really know I was wrong."
Ruan Yu gritted her teeth and bit his chin hard.
Xu Huaisong hissed in pain, cleared his throat, and said, "Then I'll be straightforward now and ask you a question?"
She glanced at him. "Ask."
"Since it has nothing to do with Li Shican, what were you doing earlier? You said you were buying snacks, but I didn’t see you eat much."
"..."
Damn it.
In that tender, affectionate atmosphere earlier, this matter could have been brought up naturally without issue.
But now, in this situation, was she supposed to tell him she went to buy "props for offering herself"?
No way. Absolutely not. She was still angry.
She shook her head. "You can just keep this one to yourself."
Xu Huaisong laughed in exasperation. "You just told me to speak my mind. I asked, and now you won’t answer."
"I won’t say. What are you going to do about it?"
What could Xu Huaisong do? He took a deep breath, his gaze sweeping over the large bag of snacks she had brought back from the convenience store.
Ruan Yu tensed under his scrutiny.
Xu Huaisong, sharp as ever, sensed something was off and blinked. "Did you buy something else?"
She cursed inwardly but shook her head outwardly. "What? No..."
Xu Huaisong let go of her and went to rummage through the bag himself.
She hurried after him, tugging at his arm. "Hey, what are you doing? You can’t just go through my stuff—it’s private property!"
Xu Huaisong couldn’t hold back anymore. All pretense of being a gentle gentleman crumbled before his overwhelming curiosity as he grabbed the bag.
Ruan Yu fought to snatch it back.
The two of them tussled, rolling across the carpet until the bag tore open with a loud "pop," sending two brightly colored boxes flying out.
"..." The secret was out.
"..." The secret had been discovered.
Author's note: Well... see you tomorrow.
OpenNovel