"She carried the scent of the late emperor's robes, and the late emperor himself hinted that a joyous event was imminent. What more could I say? She showed no sign of resistance—was I to openly oppose and ruin her future?" Shen Han sighed deeply. "After returning home, I fell into a deep melancholy and took sick leave for some time. During that period, my mentor visited me and mentioned that he had a daughter of marriageable age whom he wished to betroth to me... Soon after, that young lady became my present wife."
Zhenzhen sighed with regret and asked him, "Did the Councilor later not discover that Pei Shangshi never became an imperial consort?"
Shen Han replied, "The late emperor said he would announce it after some time... Later, he never mentioned it again. I thought the emperor's favor was unpredictable, or perhaps something had changed... And since I was already married, I could no longer alter the situation."
"And that joyous event," Zhenzhen asked further, "the late emperor was referring to the marriage of the eldest princess. Did the Councilor later not receive the wedding cakes, including the round joy cakes?"
Shen Han looked up at her in surprise, and after a long while, he bowed his head deeply. "Alas, the marriage of the eldest princess took place after I had taken my wife to serve in a distant prefecture. I never received those wedding cakes."
A series of misunderstandings and missed opportunities had thus ended Pei Shangshi's chance at marriage and a lifetime of happiness.
Listening to Shen Han's explanation, Zhenzhen understood that it was difficult to blame him in principle. Yet, thinking of how his momentary lapse had left Pei Shangshi to grow old alone, she felt that his enduring her previous grievances was not entirely undeserved. Unable to reproach him, yet finding no words of comfort, she remained silent for a moment before bowing to him and withdrawing to the outer room.
Left alone in the hall, Shen Han reminisced about the past, wiping the corners of his eyes with his sleeve, deeply moved. Recalling Sun Zhu's lyric to the tune of "He Man Zi," he, like Zeng Jie before him, tapped the table with his fingers and softly sang the second stanza of the lyric: "Yellow leaves fall without wind, autumn clouds linger without rain. If heaven had feelings, heaven too would age; unsteady, hidden sorrows are hard to bear. Melancholy, old joys are like a dream; upon waking, nowhere to be found."
Zhenzhen had looked up this lyric after hearing Zeng Jie sing it, and now, knowing the story of Shen Han and Pei Shangshi, listening to this second stanza filled her with infinite emotion. In the following days, Zhenzhen often pondered the lyric in private. Once, unconsciously humming it softly, she was overheard by Pei Shangshi, who frowned and asked, "Young lady, why are you singing such a lyric?"
Zhenzhen was taken aback, then realized this might be an opportunity to explain Shen Han's past feelings to Pei Shangshi and help her resolve her lingering resentment. After all, in terms of mistakes, a misunderstanding born of momentary confusion was more forgivable than deliberate abandonment. With a bright smile, she replied, "I heard Councilor Shen singing this lyric in the Dawn Waiting Hall. I found it beautiful, so I learned to sing it."
Pei Shangshi exclaimed in surprise, "That old blockhead, as rigid as rotten wood, actually sang this lyric in public?"
"Not in public. At the time, the other chief councilors had not yet entered the Dawn Waiting Hall. He was sitting alone, lost in thought, and began singing this tune. I was attending in the outer room and saw him wiping tears as he sang, so I went in to console him. Moved by sorrow, he shared some past events with me."
Pei Shangshi grew even more curious and immediately pressed, "What did he tell you?"
Zhenzhen smiled and said, "Though Councilor Shen may seem stubborn now, in his youth, he was actually quite sentimental. He said that he once truly loved a young lady, but due to a misunderstanding, he missed a wonderful opportunity..."When Shen Han spoke of the past with Zhenzhen, his account was actually not very detailed, omitting many of his own inner thoughts. But Zhenzhen, exercising her storyteller-like talent, added imaginative embellishments and restored the details Shen Han had deliberately omitted. She vividly recounted the events of that night to Pei Shangshi, including the cypress-scented robe and the "joyful dumplings," only without explicitly stating Pei Shangshi's name or identity, merely describing her as a palace maid Shen Canzheng admired.
After hearing this, Pei Shangshi remained silent for a long time. Her face was as calm as ever, showing no emotional fluctuations, but when Zhenzhen lowered her gaze, she noticed the sleeve hanging at Pei Shangshi's side trembling slightly.
"That old fool, stubborn as a mule..." Pei Shangshi finally sighed. "Did he not know to just ask?"
"He wholeheartedly believed the girl had already become one with the late emperor, so he probably didn't want to say much to avoid embarrassing her," Zhenzhen explained softly.
Pei Shangshi slowly blinked, wiping away a faint glimmer in her eyes, and said no more. She silently walked past Zhenzhen.
The next time Zhenzhen went to the Waiting for Dawn Hall, Pei Shangshi proposed accompanying her.
When they encountered Shen Han, their eyes met. Shen Han felt somewhat awkward and lowered his head in embarrassment. Pei Shangshi, however, remained composed, still asking him coldly, "Have you tasted the snowflake pastry bestowed by His Majesty?"
Shen Han clasped his hands toward the palace direction. "I thank His Majesty for his great kindness in bestowing food upon me. Truly worthy of imperial delicacies, it is exceptionally sweet and delicious."
Seeing Pei Shangshi's proud expression upon hearing this, Shen Han couldn't help but add in a low voice, "However... could the Director of Palace Food use less sugar in the future... It's too sweet..."
"Too sweet?" Pei Shangshi raised her eyebrows and glared at him, cutting him off. "The recipe for this snowflake pastry was perfected after years of meticulous research. The amount of sugar is controlled with extreme precision—not a grain more, not a grain less. His Majesty himself said the sweetness was just right. I suppose Shen Canzheng has consumed too much common street food, affecting his ability to discern flavors."
Seeing her sharp words, Shen Han also felt a surge of anger rising to his face, as if he wanted to retort. But as soon as the words "You're the one..." left his mouth, the moment his gaze met Pei Shangshi's, he immediately swallowed the rest of his sentence. Dejectedly lowering his raised hand, he muttered, "Yes, I am but a rustic commoner, unable to appreciate the wonders of imperial delicacies. In the future, I humbly request His Majesty refrain from bestowing food upon me, especially anything made by the Director of Palace Food, lest people say it's like feeding a cow peonies."
Judging by the tone of this exchange, it seemed Pei Shangshi had won. She lifted her chin slightly and left under Shen Han's gaze. However, as soon as she turned a corner where Shen Han could no longer see her, she quietly instructed Zhenzhen, "It seems Shen Canzheng prefers lighter flavors. In the future, you can reduce the oil, salt, and sugar in his meals." After a moment's thought, she added, "He has been gaining weight lately, so his diet should indeed be lighter."
Zhenzhen accepted the advice with a smile, sensing that although these two still seemed confrontational when they met, their feelings toward each other had quietly changed. Even their bickering carried a subtle hint of warmth.
Zhenzhen privately switched back the misplaced seasoning jar that the Junior Eunuch had moved and repeatedly instructed him to check the original positions of all items before cleaning, ensuring he never made such a mistake again. The Junior Eunuch nodded obediently in agreement. Still, Zhenzhen couldn't help but worry about Pei Shangshi's loss of taste: she would naturally do her utmost to conceal it, but as the Director of Palace Food, constantly surrounded by food, it was only a matter of time before someone noticed something amiss.One day, Han Suwen was tasked with returning the seasonings sent by the imperial kitchen to the Medical Officials Academy for inspection. While passing behind the Jiaming Hall, he happened to meet Zhenzhen. Zhenzhen asked him to wait a moment, quickly returned to the Bureau of Palace Provisions, and retrieved two packages of snacks she had recently made, such as snowflake crisps and round joy cakes, for Han Suwen to take back and taste.
Han Suwen happily accepted them and immediately opened one package, taking a piece of snowflake crisp to pop into his mouth. Closing his eyes, he showed a contented expression and promptly praised the deliciousness repeatedly.
Zhenzhen laughed, "If you like them, I'll get you some more."
Han Suwen hurriedly waved his hand, "No, no, that's enough. If I take any more of your snacks, people might accuse me of accepting bribes or embezzling imperial provisions."
Zhenzhen replied, "It wouldn't be that serious. These are snacks I've just learned to make recently. I've been worried that the flavor might not be good enough, so I've been adjusting and testing repeatedly, making many batches. I wanted to ask more friends to taste them and give their opinions. All the ingredients were bought with my own monthly salary."
Han Suwen smiled, "You've already done very well. You should trust your own skills and palate."
Hearing him mention the palate, Zhenzhen remembered Pei Shangshi's loss of taste and asked him, "There's something I'd like to ask you: if a person originally had a very sensitive sense of taste but gradually deteriorated, to the point where they can no longer distinguish between salt and sugar, what could be the cause?"
Han Suwen asked curiously, "Has your sense of taste deteriorated?"
"Bah!" Zhenzhen immediately denied it, "Don't talk nonsense... It's an elderly woman, a neighbor from my old home."
"Oh, an elderly woman, that's not surprising," Han Suwen explained to her. "As people age, their bodily organs gradually deteriorate and don't function as well as when they were young. Some people's eyesight weakens to the point where they can't see nearby objects clearly; others become hard of hearing, requiring others to shout for them to hear—these are all issues that come with old age. The tongues of the elderly also tend to age, leading to a decline in taste. However, the degree varies from person to person. Many elderly people simply develop a preference for stronger flavors, enjoying food with more salt or sugar. A few may experience severe taste deterioration or even complete loss, with the inability to taste salt often being the first to go."
"Can it be cured?" Zhenzhen pressed.
Han Suwen answered, "If it's caused by another illness, there might be a chance for recovery. But if it's due to natural aging, it's very difficult to restore."
Seeing Zhenzhen lower her eyes in silence, Han Suwen wrapped up the snacks and smiled again, "You're still young, no need to worry too much. If you ever have any headaches or minor ailments, feel free to come to me. When you're old, I'll teach you how to maintain your health, ensuring your sense of taste won't be lost... I have to go now. Later, I need to provide free medical treatment for a friend's relative from the Imperial City Department."
Zhenzhen widened her eyes in surprise, "Your social circle is truly extensive. Last time, it was friends from the academy and the painting institute, and now you have a friend from the Imperial City Department."
Han Suwen flashed his bright, sunny smile again, "It's normal for medical officials to have many friends. People in the world like to befriend medical officials because they'll eventually need them—if not themselves, then their family members. Usually, when they first approach me, they have clear intentions."
Zhenzhen was surprised by his perceptiveness and asked, "Then can you still make good friends?"
"Of course," Han Suwen laughed heartily, "Isn't that how I became friends with you?"
Zhenzhen was taken aback, realizing that her initial interactions with him were indeed mainly to inquire about various matters. She couldn't help but blush, feeling quite embarrassed."It's nothing, don't overthink it." Han Suwen patted her shoulder with a gentle smile. "Even so, I believe that as long as I treat others sincerely, you will eventually be won over, forgetting any impure initial intentions. Besides headaches and minor ailments, you'll think of sharing good things with me too... just as you are now."
Zhenzhen looked up and exchanged a smile with him.
Not far away, Pei Shangshi, standing under the corridor outside the Jiaming Hall, quietly turned and returned inside, ceasing her observation of them.
She hadn’t heard their conversation, but judging by their expressions, they seemed quite intimate. Recalling another incident from many years ago, she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of concern.
"Have you known that young medical officer surnamed Han from the Imperial Academy of Medicine for a long time?" Pei Shangshi asked candidly that night while alone with Zhenzhen in the small kitchen.
Zhenzhen answered frankly, "Not very long. We’ve known each other for less than a year."
"I saw you talking to him today, and it seemed as if you were well-acquainted."
Zhenzhen couldn’t help but laugh. "He’s the type who acts familiar with everyone. Even on the first meeting, he can be as warm as an old friend."
Pei Shangshi fell silent for a moment before deciding to offer straightforward advice. "You are a young palace attendant and serve in the imperial presence. You must be cautious when interacting with men from outside the palace. If your words or actions are inappropriate, it could invite gossip, and worse... if you find yourself unable to control your emotions, it could lead to disaster."
Thinking of Han Suwen’s demeanor, Zhenzhen found it hard to imagine herself "unable to control her emotions." She was about to explain with a smile when Pei Shangshi abruptly brought up another person. "Have you heard about Official Liu’s story?"
All the words she had intended to say vanished instantly. Zhenzhen quickly shook her head, her eyes fixed intently on Pei Shangshi, afraid she wouldn’t continue the topic. Hesitantly, she added, "When I was at the Yinjun Prince’s residence, I heard people praise her exceptional culinary skills, but beyond that, I know nothing..."
"Her story has been forbidden from discussion in the palace by the Empress Dowager all these years, so it’s no surprise you haven’t heard." Pei Shangshi explained. "She grew up in Grand Preceptor Qi’s household and learned everything from Liu Shangshi, so naturally, her culinary skills were outstanding. Unfortunately, she secretly associated with a medical officer without the late emperor’s permission, and the result... was tragic."
"Could you tell me about her story, Shangshi?" Zhenzhen asked cautiously. "So that I may learn from it..."Pei Shangshi closed her eyes in contemplation, then slowly began to narrate: "She was a cook raised in the household of Grand Tutor Qi and only entered the palace as a palace attendant in the Bureau of Palace Provisions when she grew older. Naturally, her culinary skills were exceptional, but the late emperor, wary of Grand Tutor Qi, initially dared not entrust her with important tasks. Instead, she served as an assistant to Liu Shangshi and me, never taking charge of the imperial meals. One year, officials from the Wu region presented several live pufferfish to the late emperor. He ordered Liu Shangshi to prepare them according to the ancient method and taste them first. However, Liu Shangshi hesitated. Being from Bianjing, she had never eaten pufferfish before. Although she followed the steps for removing the toxins as recorded in ancient texts, she was uncertain whether all the toxins had been eliminated. Seeing her troubled expression, that palace attendant Liu immediately stepped forward and requested the late emperor’s permission to taste the pufferfish in Liu Shangshi’s place. To everyone’s delight, the pufferfish proved non-toxic and exceptionally delicious. After consuming it, the late emperor was greatly pleased and treated palace attendant Liu with much more kindness. Palace attendant Liu was diligent and earnest, seldom indulging in leisure activities, and devoted herself wholeheartedly to refining her culinary skills. The dishes she prepared were sampled one after another by the ladies of the palace, all of whom praised them highly. Once, the then Empress Dowager recommended the pastries made by palace attendant Liu to the late emperor. Looking at the sugar frosting on the pastries, the late emperor said to palace attendant Liu with a faint, ambiguous smile, 'I’ve heard that arsenic and sugar frosting are similar—both are sweet. Do you know the difference in their tastes?' This question stumped palace attendant Liu. Shortly afterward, she did something unimaginable..."
Zhenzhen guessed: "She went to taste arsenic."
Pei Shangshi sighed: "And nearly lost her life. Many imperial physicians were at a loss, but in the end, a physician surnamed Zhang pulled her back from the brink of death."
"Zhang Yunqiao?" Zhenzhen blurted out.
Pei Shangshi glanced at her in surprise, then turned her eyes away and said calmly, "It was him. His medical skills were extraordinary, and to this day, he remains a model admired by physicians."
Zhenzhen began to understand: "Because of his life-saving grace, palace attendant Liu fell in love with him."
"Not quite so quickly," Pei Shangshi said. "Physician Zhang was also young at the time, but he was aloof and proud. Many palace attendants secretly admired him, but he paid them no heed. He did not treat palace attendant Liu any differently either, merely attending to her as a patient. Palace attendant Liu, for her part, was wholly dedicated to refining her culinary skills and serving the emperor, unlike those lovestruck young girls. Initially, the two interacted politely, with nothing to criticize. After recovering, palace attendant Liu even personally wrote a lengthy essay of over a thousand words and presented it to the late emperor, detailing the similarities and differences between arsenic and sugar frosting. From then on, the late emperor viewed her in a new light. Not long after, Liu Shangshi passed away. I was promoted to Director of Palace Food, and the late emperor also promoted palace attendant Liu to Director of Palace Catering, entrusting her with the task of tasting the imperial meals first. Grateful for the late emperor’s trust, Official Liu sought to repay his kindness. To hone her ability to detect poisons, she secretly began tasting one poison after another, falling ill time and again. Physician Zhang saved her many times, and it was likely during these repeated treatments that their feelings deepened... Later, the late emperor seemed to sense something and arranged for other physicians to treat Official Liu, forbidding Physician Zhang from continuing her care and even prohibiting them from meeting. However, one day, Official Liu tasted a poisonous mushroom and fell gravely ill, just as she had after tasting arsenic. She vomited until she brought up blood and was on the brink of death. Seeing the critical situation, the late emperor summoned Physician Zhang once more to treat her. This time, the late emperor specifically instructed me to observe their interactions closely and report back to him afterward..."At this point, Pei Shangshi's voice gradually softened, her thoughts drifting back to that unforgettable day many years ago.
That day, she had led Zhang Yunqiao to Official Liu's chamber and stood aside, observing as Zhang Yunqiao performed the four diagnostic methods—observation, listening, questioning, and pulse-taking—for Official Liu. Throughout, their interaction remained strictly that of a physician and patient, with nothing seemingly amiss. Later, when Zhang Yunqiao prepared to write a prescription, they found no ink or brush in the room. Pei Shangshi offered to fetch them from her own quarters and stepped outside. However, after walking a few steps, she recalled the late emperor's instructions and grew uneasy. She then beckoned a young palace attendant over, instructing her to retrieve the writing materials while she herself slowly made her way back.
Just as she reached the doorway, she overheard an unusual exchange between the two inside.
"Do you think you are Shennong, bravely tasting hundreds of herbs countless times? Even Shennong could not escape unscathed, let alone a frail woman like you." Zhang Yunqiao's tone carried undisguised anger. "You've tasted poison for the emperor about a hundred times now, haven't you? Loyalty to the sovereign is not demonstrated this way!"
"Indeed, it has been a hundred times," replied Official Liu calmly from her sickbed. "Ninety-nine times were for the emperor, and the last time was for you... I wanted to see you."
Zhang Yunqiao fell silent instantly, locking eyes with her, speechless for a long while.
A desolate smile curled at the edges of Official Liu's purplish lips. "Too few? Then let me do it once more."
With great effort, she propped herself up, took a bowl of mushroom soup from the nearby table—a sample of the poison brought out at Zhang Yunqiao's request for study—and drank a mouthful.
Zhang Yunqiao snatched the cup from her hand and hurled it to the ground. Then, gripping her wrist tightly, he fixed his blazing eyes on her, as if trying to see into her very soul.
"Come, let us die together!" he said to her. With one hand, he pulled her into his embrace; with the other, he cradled the back of her head, where her golden hairpin had fallen and her cloud-like bun was about to unravel. With a mix of anguish and resentment, he pressed his lips to hers, seeking the deadly broth within.
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