The Palace Stewardess

The truth Qiu Niang spoke of was no secret to Zhenzhen. Though unwilling to accept it, reason had already compelled her to silently acknowledge this fact. Yet hearing Qiu Niang speak it now, Zhenzhen still felt an inexplicable surge of sorrow, as if she—who had once nestled close to her mother—had been forcibly torn away by some irresistible force. Fearing Qiu Niang might see the emotions on her face, and even more afraid of witnessing the deeper sorrow Qiu Niang must be feeling at this moment, she turned her head away. Reminding herself of her current duties, she forced herself to calm down. Only after a long while did she look back at Qiu Niang, asking in her usual tone, "Did you escape from Lin'an together afterward? How was Official Liu discovered and taken away by the Qi family? Were you and Imperial Physician Zhang present at the time?"

Qiu Niang lowered her gaze and said gloomily, "We first fled to a village near Shaoxing, living under assumed names for several months until Mingchu gave birth to the child. The village was very small, and no one from the capital ever came to search for us. As time passed, we grew less vigilant than when we had first escaped. Zhang Yunqiao began accepting requests from villagers to treat illnesses, and I occasionally went to a nearby small town to buy supplies unavailable in the village. A few days after your first-month celebration, Zhang Yunqiao went to a neighboring village to treat a patient, and I planned to go to the town again to buy you some new clothes. Mingchu suddenly asked to come along, saying she was bored from the postpartum confinement and wanted to go out for some fresh air. She pleaded repeatedly, and since she had always been healthy and looked well at the time, I agreed. So, I hired an ox cart, carried you, and brought her along to the town. Worried she might tire, I let her take you into a teahouse to rest after we had only walked around for a short while, while I continued shopping. Unexpectedly, while looking at baby clothes in front of a shop, a man in yellow eunuch attire rode toward me on horseback, his eyes fixed on me with a murderous glare. The uniform looked very much like someone under Cheng Yuan's command. My mind went blank for a moment, and I dropped the clothes and ran... When I first escaped from the residence in Lin'an, Cheng Yuan had personally led some eunuchs in pursuit of me, though I didn't know whether he was acting on the late emperor's orders or the Empress Dowager's. At the time, I hid among the flowers by West Lake, watching his horse gallop past. His expression was stern, tinged with anxiety, his brow furrowed, and his eyes sharp and intimidating, sending chills down my spine. I thought then that I would rather die than fall into his hands..."

"Was the person chasing you in the town sent by Cheng Yuan?" Zhenzhen asked.Qiu Niang sighed, "At the time, I was convinced of this and desperately tried to escape. Fortunately, the streets of that small town were winding, with many narrow alleys. I twisted and turned through them, temporarily shaking off the pursuer and returning to the teahouse. I told Mingchu that the eunuchs under Cheng Yuan were coming to arrest me. She immediately picked up the child, ready to flee with me. But just as we reached the door, we heard the sound of hoofbeats approaching from a distance, and this time, it seemed there was more than one person. We retreated and hid upstairs in the teahouse. Our movements were too loud, waking you from your deep sleep. You began to wail loudly, and Mingchu and I grew even more terrified, fearing your cries would draw the attention of the newcomers. The hoofbeats grew steadily closer, and it seemed they were about to arrive at the teahouse. At that moment, Mingchu suddenly said to me that she and Cheng Yuan had always been on good terms privately. When she had escaped from the palace, she had crossed paths with him once, and he had turned a blind eye, not stopping her. So, if the pursuers were Cheng Yuan's men, they would likely spare her. Even if they didn’t, once she saw Cheng Yuan again, she could plead with him, and he would probably let her go. As soon as she finished speaking, the riders arrived at the teahouse door. Someone dismounted and was about to enter to investigate. Mingchu immediately urged me to swap outer garments with her. She then thrust the child into my arms, put on my clothes, and rushed downstairs and out the door, drawing the attention of the pursuers, who turned and chased after her, leaving the teahouse. I hid behind the second-floor window, observing the scene outside. Suddenly, one of the riders reined in his horse and glanced back toward the teahouse. In that instant, I realized it was the guard whom Qi Xun had once sent to escort me to his private residence to teach his daughter music and dance..."

Zhenzhen also felt a chill in her heart: "So these people were sent by the Qi family?"

Qiu Niang closed her eyes and nodded. After a long pause, she continued her story: "It was only later that I realized the Qi family had many spies in the palace as well. So, the eunuchs chasing us might not all have been Cheng Yuan's men; among them were also the Qi family's hounds... Fortunately, that man only glanced back before heading in the direction Mingchu had fled. After they had moved far enough away from the teahouse, I quietly slipped out the back door with you in my arms... I knew Mingchu couldn’t possibly evade so many pursuers by running like that, but I didn’t have the courage to go after her. So, I took you and fled all the way back to the village..."

Remembering Yin Qi’s account of her birth mother’s tragic execution by the Qi family, Zhenzhen felt a surge of grief and anger, her heart aching with pain. Looking at her adoptive mother before her, she understood that Qiu Niang bore some responsibility for her birth mother’s death. Yet, considering Qiu Niang’s own circumstances and the situation at the time, she couldn’t bring herself to blame her harshly. In the end, she only asked coldly, "Did you tell Imperial Physician Zhang the truth about this when you returned?"

"When I returned, my mind was in turmoil, unsure how to face him. I quickly changed out of Mingchu’s clothes and hid them. When Zhang Yunqiao returned, I told him about the pursuit, but I didn’t dare tell him everything. I only said that I had taken Zhenzhen to buy clothes while Mingchu stayed behind to rest at the teahouse. When I returned to the teahouse, I saw from a distance that she had been taken away by some eunuchs..." Qiu Niang said. "Upon hearing this, he went mad, determined to rush out and rescue Mingchu. No matter how hard I tried to dissuade him, he wouldn’t listen. He abandoned me and the child and headed straight for Lin’an. A few days later, he returned dejected, saying he had learned news of Mingchu from a friend outside Lin’an... She had already been executed by the Qi family."

"So, you and he continued to flee with me?" Zhenzhen asked."Yes. At that time, not long after Qi Xun had died, the Qi family's influence was deeply entrenched and couldn't be eradicated immediately. Their remaining followers continued to pursue Zhang Yunqiao. He couldn't return to Lin'an and was afraid that the people who had captured Mingchu before would come searching again. So, he and I had no choice but to flee with you." Qiu Niang said, "We changed direction and fled all the way to Xuanzhou, which is now Ningguo Prefecture, before finally settling down."

"Grandma Song told me about what happened back then," Zhenzhen informed her, "She said you didn't know how to cook and didn't know what to prepare for us, father and daughter, so you went to learn culinary skills from her."

"That's right." Qiu Niang smiled bitterly, "Before the escape, I had never set foot in a kitchen. How would I know how to cook... I had never taken care of a child either, and I even disliked children. The sound of a baby crying would irritate me, making me wish I could stuff a cloth in its mouth."

Zhenzhen was somewhat surprised and couldn't help saying, "But in my memory, you have always been a very gentle mother, not only to me but also very kind to the sisters at Suitable Treasure Tower."

"Because you changed me." Qiu Niang looked up at Zhenzhen again, her eyes filled with warmth, though the faint smile at the corner of her lips was quite bitter. "I felt deeply guilty toward Mingchu, so I was determined to take good care of you. But I never imagined how exhausting it would be to raise an infant... You would eat, sleep, wake up several times a night, and each time you woke, you would cry as if the sky were falling, signaling that you were hungry and wanted food immediately, without a moment's delay. You always woke me up completely, forcing me to grope in the dark for goat's milk or rice broth to warm up for you. For a full year, I never had a full night's sleep... I also heard that infants wouldn't thrive on just goat's milk and rice broth, so wherever we went, I would go door to door asking if any new mothers were breastfeeding and if they could spare a little milk for you... Sometimes, after you finished nursing, as soon as I held you, you would vomit all the milk. Later, I learned from women who had raised children that after feeding an infant, you need to hold them upright and gently pat their back to help them burp, which reduces the likelihood of spitting up... Besides that, there were mountains of diapers and clothes to wash every day. In the beginning, I was so exhausted every day that I often felt like crying. Sometimes I couldn't help but think, it must be because of the great sin I committed regarding Mingchu that I ended up with such a huge burden... Until one night..."

Thinking of that night, her voice grew even softer, and her smile deepened: "You were just over two months old then. You woke up in the middle of the night, and as usual, I groggily got up to warm milk for you. After you finished drinking, I sat by the bed, half-closing my eyes, holding you upright against my shoulder to help you burp. As I patted your back, you started to burp—a soft 'gulp' that sounded like a little bird chirping... After the burp, you, who had been resting on my left shoulder, suddenly pressed your little hands against my shoulders. Your still-soft neck trembled as you lifted your head, opened your round, dark eyes to look at me, then let your chubby little face slide to the right, your head flopping softly onto my right shoulder as you fell soundly asleep. In that moment, you entrusted yourself completely to me, thoughtlessly and intimately relying on me. My heart suddenly stirred. I felt an overwhelming joy, yet my eyes grew warm. I held you tightly, feeling a kind of moist happiness that weighed on my heart like an impending rain."Zhenzhen gazed at the joyful curve of Qiu Niang's brows and the starlight-like glimmer in her eyes, sensing the "drenched happiness" she described as a mother in that moment. With great effort, she suppressed the urge to reach out and embrace her, instead continuing to ask calmly, "What about Imperial Physician Zhang at that time? Didn't he help much with the child?"

"He..." Qiu Niang hesitated before replying, "At first, because of the incident with Mingchu, he was in low spirits and deeply depressed. I tried to handle all the household chores myself, not bothering him with child-related matters. Later, he pulled himself together, resumed seeing patients, and earned money to support the family. But that also meant he became busy, with little time to spend with the child... I learned cooking from Fifth Lady Song, bought her small courtyard, and became her neighbor. She often helped me look after the child. When you were two years old, one day, Fifth Lady suddenly asked you in front of me and Zhang Yunqiao, 'Daddy, Mommy, and Granny—who do you like the most?' You giggled, threw yourself into my arms without hesitation, and said, 'Mommy.'... Yes, from the moment you started speaking, you called me 'Mommy.' I never deliberately taught you, but you naturally called me that... Fifth Lady then asked, 'Your daddy is going to the town later to buy lots of candy. Do you want to go with him or stay with Mommy?' Still laughing, you clung tightly to me, not even glancing at your daddy, and repeated over and over, 'Mommy, Mommy, Mommy...'"

At this point, a faint smile appeared on Qiu Niang's lips, but she lowered her head to wipe away the tears at the corners of her eyes. Covering her mouth, she paused briefly before continuing, "In that moment, I suddenly realized I was no longer alone. Finally, there was someone who loved me wholeheartedly... You were laughing as you held me, but I was so happy I wanted to weep. I could only hold you close, bury my face, and let my tears flow silently into your embrace."

Unable to hold back, Zhenzhen used her sleeve to wipe away the tears that welled up. When she spoke again after a moment, her voice was noticeably hoarse: "How did this peaceful life come to an end? Before leaving Ningguo Manor, what happened between you and Zhang Yunqiao?"

Qiu Niang remained silent for a long while before finally beginning to answer: "For the first two years or so, although we lived under the same roof, we kept our distance and slept in separate rooms. He was never an affectionate person to begin with, and after the incident with Mingchu, he became even more withdrawn. Between us, aside from necessary discussions, there was little conversation. However, as time passed and he saw how devotedly I cared for the child, he began to trust me deeply—or perhaps, he came to regard me as family. He would hand over all his consultation fees to me for household expenses. I would take a portion and try to return the rest to him, suggesting he keep some for himself, but he would always push it back, saying he rarely needed money and would ask me if he ever did... He couldn't cook, but one day, after I gave him a newly sewn garment, he seemed genuinely moved... That afternoon, you were asleep, and I was in the kitchen preparing dinner when he suddenly came in. Silently, he began helping me chop vegetables, but it wasn't something he was skilled at. After a few cuts, he injured his finger. I hurriedly fetched cloth to bandage it, holding his hand for a long time as I wrapped it. When I finished and looked up, I found him staring at me intently—he had never looked at me that way before. His gaze made me flustered, and I turned to leave, but he grabbed my arm and kissed me... Later, later..."

Seeing her struggle to continue, Zhenzhen hesitated but still asked, "Did you two get married?"Qiu Niang did not answer directly at first, but instead said, "He was my first man, and also my last... Neither the late emperor nor Cheng Yuan ever shared a bed with me... Although Cheng Yuan married me, on our wedding night, he told me that having our names together on the marriage certificate was enough for him. Like the late emperor, he was timid in matters of love and would not violate me. Then, he left the bridal chamber."

"Then, did my father not give you a wedding?" Zhenzhen thought for a moment and asked, "Did you love him?"

Qiu Niang smiled faintly, "After spending so much time together, there must have been some affection, right? But when he embraced me, the first thought that flashed through my mind was: This isn't bad either—I can truly become Zhenzhen's mother..."

Zhenzhen was at a loss for words and silently lowered her gaze. Qiu Niang continued, "He did want to give me a wedding, but I thought that over the years, outsiders had already seen us living together and regarded us as husband and wife. If we held a wedding now, it would inevitably raise questions and suspicions, easily leading to trouble. It was better to just continue quietly. After thinking it over, he said that no matter what, there should be a ceremony—we could worship heaven and earth at home. I agreed, and we decided to hold the ceremony three days later... For the next two days, he went out excitedly every day to buy wedding attire and related items, and I also bought many fine ingredients, planning to prepare a lavish wedding feast myself... Among them was the pufferfish he loved..."

Zhenzhen's heart sank, but she still held a glimmer of hope as she asked Qiu Niang, "That day, it was a cooking mistake, wasn't it? Not intentional, right?"

Qiu Niang smiled bitterly and said, "The day before the wedding, I thought of Mingchu and felt terribly guilty toward her. The daughter and husband I had were actually hers... While your father was out, I took out the clothes Mingchu had exchanged with me back then and made offerings to her in the backyard, apologizing to her. I said that because of me, she had lost her life, but I would do my utmost to take care of her family. I asked her to rest in peace and be reborn soon, and I requested permission to burn the clothes for her. From then on, I would keep this secret buried deep in my heart and spend the rest of my life atoning for my past mistakes... But then, Zhang Yunqiao suddenly rushed over from behind me and snatched the clothes away... He had returned early and overheard what I said to Mingchu."

Zhenzhen couldn't help but widen her eyes, imagining her father's anger at the time: "He thought you had betrayed my mother?"

Qiu Niang nodded, "He was furious and scolded me, saying I had a heart as venomous as a snake or scorpion, that I must have deliberately lured Mingchu out and handed her over to the Qi family... I begged him to listen to my explanation, but he wouldn't hear it. Instead, he kept asking me if I was jealous of Mingchu—whether it was because I envied the late emperor's favor toward her or because I wanted to take him away from Mingchu..."

Recalling this, Qiu Niang couldn't help but sneer, "Hearing that speculation, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So all these years of my careful care for him, and later giving myself to him, had become evidence that I loved him, wanted to take him away from Mingchu, and then caused Mingchu's death!"

"So..." Zhenzhen asked, "His baseless assumptions made you feel wronged, and then you developed the intent to kill?""It wasn't because of that." Qiu Niang sighed. "At that time, I was filled with grievance and resentment, but I didn't hate him enough to want to kill him. I just thought the wedding wouldn't happen anymore—so be it, I didn't care... But soon after, your father came into the room, picked you up, and started to leave. That's when I was terrified out of my wits. I rushed over to stop him and asked where he was taking you. He said he wouldn't allow the person who had caused his wife's death to touch his daughter again. He was going to take you away from this place and never let me see you again..."

At this point, tears suddenly streamed down Qiu Niang's face. "I grabbed his sleeve and knelt down, begging him not to separate us. I said I could atone for my sins by serving as a slave or maid, as long as I could continue to stay with you. But he wouldn't listen at all. He shook off my hand and tried to leave, and you were so frightened that you started crying desperately, reaching out to me and calling 'Mama' over and over... Your cries were heart-wrenching. I mustered all my strength to snatch you from his arms and asked him if he had ever taken care of you for a single day. Did he know what you liked to eat and what you didn't? What you loved and what you feared? What you couldn't touch, or else you'd break out in a rash... He couldn't answer, but he still tried to take you back. I had no choice but to cry and tell him that Zhenzhen was hungry. Even if he had to leave, at least let me make a proper meal for you both, and you could pack your belongings and leave the next morning. Seeing how heartbroken you were at that moment, clinging tightly to me and refusing to let go, your father had no choice but to compromise. He agreed to stay for that night and leave the next day."

Zhenzhen's gaze drifted to the deep night outside the window. She felt her hands and feet turn cold, and her voice trembled slightly. "So, when you made the Pufferfish for him, you deliberately didn't remove all the toxins..."

"At first, I didn't think of using the Pufferfish to harm him. I was very careful while preparing it, just like I always was," Qiu Niang said. "But when I finished making the Pufferfish soup and was about to serve it, I saw him packing your things—the clothes and shoes I had sewn for you stitch by stitch, the little bowls and spoons you used every day, the cloth dolls and rattle drums I had let you pick out myself when I took you shopping... All of them were being taken out of the room we had shared and placed into his luggage... You watched him timidly as he did all this with a cold expression, hiding behind me and crying, calling 'Mama'... Seeing him slowly erase all traces of you from the room, thinking that he would eventually take you away from me, leaving me unable to see you for the rest of my life—I truly felt like I was going mad. So, I turned back, picked up the bowl containing the Pufferfish entrails, drained some of the blood, and dripped it into the soup."

Qiu Niang covered her face with her hands, hiding her tear-filled eyes and avoiding Zhenzhen's expression. After a moment, she continued, "That night, we had dinner together relatively peacefully. In the past, whenever we ate Pufferfish, I would always taste the soup first and wait a while to make sure there was no reaction before letting him eat. But that day, I didn't taste it first, and he didn't find it strange. He silently drank the soup and ate some of the Pufferfish meat. After the meal, you fell asleep first. He continued packing his belongings. A little while later, he suddenly staggered into my room and asked me if the Pufferfish I had given him was poisonous. I didn't answer, just avoided his approach. He tried to grab me in anger, but I closed the door and ran out. When I returned later, I found him lying on the ground, already lifeless. But his hands were clenched into fists, veins bulging, and his eyes were wide open, still staring straight at me. It seems he must have hated me to the core...""He clenched his fist, though not entirely out of anger." Zhenzhen reminded Qiu Niang to look at the small porcelain box she had shown earlier, explaining a fact to her. "He held this small porcelain box, which appeared to contain pills, in his palm. Inside were two sealed Pufferfish bones, preserving evidence that would allow others to deduce the cause of his death."

"Hah," Qiu Niang sneered, "as expected of Imperial Physician Zhang, even at the brink of death, he could think of preserving evidence."

"Were you sad after he died?" Zhenzhen asked again. "Grandma Song said she heard you crying that night. Did you cry out of sorrow or fear?"

"When I saw his body, I was a little afraid, but I didn’t cry. I just felt utterly lost, unsure of what to do. I returned to his room and took out the belongings he had packed for you, one by one. Suddenly, I noticed a wooden box beside the luggage that I had never seen before—it must have been something he brought back that day. I opened it and found several plant bulbs inside. There was also a note in the box, depicting a red spider lily with four words written beside it—'Manjusaka.' At that moment, I understood: all those years ago, when I asked him what kind of flower Manjusaka was, he had remembered and silently searched for it for me. Now, he had finally found it, likely intending to give it to me as a gift before the wedding... Overwhelmed with emotions, I felt as though fate was playing a cruel trick on me—why had I encountered such a love, twisted by misunderstandings and missed chances... In the wind and rain of that night, I wept bitterly. Then, I dug up the flower bed, dragged him into it, placed the Manjusaka bulbs on his chest, and covered him with soil."

"Later, a patch of red spider lilies as crimson as blood grew there," Zhenzhen said, "just as bewitching as the ones I later saw in Shi'an Garden."

"Shi'an Garden..." Qiu Niang murmured, "Yes, Cheng Yuan has also been searching for spider lilies for me... Back in the palace, I could sense his unusual attention toward me, but I only felt uneasy and never responded to him. After he imprisoned me, I never gave him a kind look either. It wasn't until I learned that you might be executed because of Crown Prince Zhuang Wen that I used marriage as a bargaining chip, pleading with him to find a way to save you. To gain his trust, I told him everything that had happened over the years, including the cause of your father's death. Seeing that I confided even such matters to him, he finally let down his guard, rescued you, and even allowed me to see you once..."

Qiu Niang then smiled sadly: "With this leverage, he naturally wasn't afraid of me speaking too much with you or of you trying to help me escape from him. Otherwise, he could have told you the truth about your father's death—the very thing that would have made you leave me for good."

Zhenzhen gazed into Qiu Niang's eyes and asked, "Then why are you telling me all this so frankly now?"

Qiu Niang looked back at her, smiling as she slowly asked, "You've already guessed most of it... May I ask... Palace Commandant... how will you... deal with me?"

"You murdered a court official—this crime exceeds the jurisdiction of the Palace Commandant," Zhenzhen calmly stared at her foster mother as she announced her decision. "Tomorrow, I will report this matter to The Emperor, first removing you from the palace registry, then handing the case over to the Censorate or the Ministry of Justice for trial. Your punishment will be determined by them."

Qiu Niang maintained her smile, blinking slowly: "Very well."

"I'm sorry," Zhenzhen apologized to her, then explained, "I previously swore an oath to The Emperor that, as Palace Commandant, I must administer justice impartially, uphold the law without favoritism, and act without personal gain. At this moment, we are not mother and daughter—I can only act according to palace regulations."

"I... understand... you are doing... what is right..." Qiu Niang replied with a smile, but her voice grew intermittent and somewhat slurred, as if she were becoming dizzy, and her body began to sway.

Sensing something amiss, Zhenzhen hurried over and caught Qiu Niang just as she was about to collapse.

"Mother, what's wrong?" A sense of foreboding washed over her, and she finally cast aside all restraints, calling Qiu Niang as she used to, anxiously examining her.

Smiling, Qiu Niang reached out to touch Zhenzhen's face, struggling to control her increasingly numb tongue as she said, "Just now... I swallowed... a piece of... gallbladder..."

Gallbladder! Zhenzhen suddenly recalled Qiu Niang's earlier coughing fit and instantly understood that she had secretly taken the pufferfish gallbladder from the offal bowl and swallowed it while her back was turned. Now, the poison she had ingested was beginning to take effect.

Gently laying her down, Zhenzhen stood up in panic, frantically searching around the kitchen: "Cabbage, mugwort, reed shoots... wait, Grandma Song said these vegetables cooked with pufferfish won't cause poisoning. I'll find them to detoxify you!"

"It's no use... don't bother..." Qiu Niang reached out toward Zhenzhen. "Let me atone... like this... it's fine..."

It wasn't the season for mugwort or reed shoots. After a frantic search yielded nothing, Zhenzhen had no choice but to return to Qiu Niang's side, tears streaming down her face as she picked her up and held her."I don't want... you to be troubled..." Qiu Niang wanted to wipe Zhenzhen's tears, but her hand rose slightly before falling limply, clearly having gradually lost control of her limbs. Even her breathing became labored.

Zhenzhen looked at her foster mother's face, drained of color, and felt her body slowly stiffening, as if an invisible hand were tightening around her own throat, the pain nearly suffocating.

The palace candle flames flickered, their light and shadows shifting in the dimness as the cold dawn wind rattled the window frames. Zhenzhen closed her tear-filled eyes, and scenes of her mother's time with her surfaced in her mind: in summer, as she lay napping on a bamboo mat, her mother held a round fan, carefully searching for every tiny mosquito and fly, driving them out of the tent... in winter, as she cheerfully followed her classmates to school, her mother chased after her, pressing a warm little hand warmer into her palm... her mother blowing on steaming porridge, spoon-feeding it to her as she lay sick in bed... her crying out in panic in the burning kitchen, her mother rushing into the flames, scooping her daughter into her arms... in the small pavilion of Shi'an Garden, she held her mother, pouring out her grief over her lover's death, and her mother returned a warm embrace, giving her the courage to live on...

"Mom, Mom, I didn't want you to die..." Zhenzhen clung tightly to Qiu Niang, regretting the heartlessness she had shown earlier, sobbing uncontrollably. "Now I am the Palace Commandant, and I can only strictly follow the laws and principles, making such arrangements for you. But after noon today, I will step down. Once I remove this official robe, I am still your daughter Zhenzhen. I will beg The Emperor to pardon you, plead with the Empress, Second Great King, and Minister Shen, ask everyone I know to speak for you. If the Censorate and the Ministry of Justice still refuse to let you go, sentencing you to death—even if I have to break into prison, I will risk my life to save you, then take you to Guangzhou, to Yazhou, to places where no one knows us, and we can be mother and daughter again..."

"No need..." Qiu Niang could no longer lift the corners of her lips to smile at Zhenzhen, but her gaze remained gentle. Looking at her tear-streaked daughter, she mustered her final words: "Thank you... for staying with me... for sixteen years... sixteen years, we... loved each other... wholeheartedly."