Jin Chao had long passed the stage of utter despair. Over the years, he had gradually learned to face his physical condition head-on, and most of the time, he felt there wasn't much difference between himself and a normal person.
But watching Mu Mu break down in tears before him, his emotions rose and fell with hers.
People around them, unaware of the truth, cast curious glances their way, turning back every few steps with the kind of look that wanted to stare but felt too awkward to do so directly. The key point was, everyone was looking at Jin Chao.
After all, if a woman cried like this in front of a man, it was mostly the man's fault.
Jin Chao uncomfortably pulled Jiang Mu closer and said softly to her, "Don't cry anymore. If you keep crying, you'll make me look like a scumbag."
Jiang Mu's sobs quieted down, but her body still trembled lightly.
They didn't continue climbing after that. Instead, they found a stone bench nearby and sat down. The sudden discovery felt like a heavy blow to Jiang Mu's head, leaving her unable to cope for a while. Her eyes were dull and vacant, and she couldn't utter a word for a long time.
The single-lens reflex camera lay between them. Several times, Jiang Mu lowered her head and stared at the camera lens, thinking of the withered branches and rotten leaves he had just photographed. Her heart ached with bitterness. Though she tried her best to control her voice, she still spoke with a choked tone, "So photography was just a pretense."
Jin Chao's breathing was heavy as he watched a young man in the distance climbing upward with his girlfriend. Something in his eyes gradually dimmed.
After a long pause, he said to her, "It's actually not that bad. It's not as serious as you think. You didn't notice anything the last two times, right? I'm just not used to climbing yet. I might not be able to treat you to KFC at the summit today, but I'll make it up to you when we get down the mountain."
Jiang Mu turned her head away, tears welling up in her eyes. Her heart ached so much she could barely breathe. Even in his own condition, he kept comforting her. The more he acted this way, the more it pained her.
"I don't want KFC anymore."
She lowered her gaze, took her backpack, pulled out a bacon and cheese sandwich from inside, carefully peeled off the plastic wrap, and handed it to him.
She had gotten up early specifically to make it, originally planning to take it out at the summit to show him how diligent and capable she had become. But now she had no mood for that.
She just stared blankly at the various climbers not far away. In just the short time they had been sitting there, many people had passed by—some with graying hair, some children who could barely walk steadily—yet all of them were physically whole.
Jin Chao used to have such a strong and fit body. On campus, he was the track star everyone looked up to; on the racing circuit, he was an unmatched rider who dominated the tracks.
In his youthful days of high spirits, he returned with only a broken body. How much suffering had such a proud person endured over these years?
Jiang Mu didn't speak anymore, just sat quietly beside him, but inside, her heart was bleeding along with his.
Just as Jin Chao was about to take a bite of the sandwich, he paused and asked, "You didn't just make one, did you?"
Jiang Mu replied in a muffled voice, "I have no appetite."
After saying this, she took a bottle of mineral water from her bag, unscrewed the cap, and handed it to him. Jin Chao sighed softly and said to her, "My hands are fine."
Jiang Mu bent over, hugging her own arms. Only after Jin Chao finished eating did she whisper, "You should have told me back then. No matter what, you should have at least let me know."Jin Chao concluded with: "You were still young back then."So he couldn't bear to watch her struggle, torn between Jiang Yinghan and himself, nor could he endure seeing her endure such immense pain and pressure." Even now, after years of life's trials, she could barely handle this news—what about back then, at the peak of their passion? If he had told her he would be disabled for life, how could she have borne it? How would she have faced it?
He simply couldn't bring himself to do it—couldn't let someone so young experience all that. Even he had teetered on the brink of collapse multiple times, let alone her.
Jiang Mu's eyes grew warm, her lips curling into a pale smile. "So you cut off all contact, just like that. You were ruthless to yourself."
Jin Chao crumpled the remaining plastic wrap into a tiny ball, clutching it in his palm, his tone somber. "The first year..." He paused before continuing, "Things weren't good. Later, when I could finally walk again, I didn't even have a stable place to live. Under those circumstances, how could I have reached out to you?"
Jiang Mu couldn't bring herself to ask more. Her heart trembled—during those years, she had been studying in Australia, living a peaceful life full of hope. Though she was immersed in the melancholy of young love, her mother's health was stable, and her days were relatively smooth.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, he was struggling through a dark and endless path, dragging his incomplete body forward.
From those few words, Jiang Mu could already imagine how difficult his life must have been back then. When there was no hope in sight, how could he have risked dragging her down?
She lifted her head to gaze at the azure sky, tears welling in her eyes, filled with the weight of years. Finally, she understood why, all these years, even as she traveled far and wide, she had never found a man who could capture her whole heart. Because there would never be another man like Jin Chao—from childhood to adulthood, from her babbling and toddling days to her awkward, budding youth, he had always protected her as she grew up. Even when his own life was turbulent, he still ensured she had a smooth and stable path.
After a long while, Jiang Mu wiped her tears and said abruptly, "I don't have a boyfriend, I'm not getting married, I'm not living with anyone..."
Jin Chao squeezed the water bottle, slowly raised his head to look at the same blue sky, and gradually relaxed his brow.
...
On the way down the mountain, it was Jiang Mu who deliberately slowed her pace. After just a few steps, she asked if he was tired, if he needed to rest, and even tried to support him a few times, but Jin Chao subtly avoided her.
When they reached the foot of the mountain, Jiang Mu asked him, "Where are you living now? Do you want me to see you home?"
Jin Chao was silent for a moment before calling out to her, "Mu Mu." Then, with a firm and penetrating gaze, he turned to her and said, "I'm disabled, not helpless."
The words made Jiang Mu's cheeks flush, leaving her momentarily at a loss for how to respond. Not wanting to make things awkward for both of them, Jin Chao hailed a taxi and dropped her off first on the way.
As Jiang Mu got out of the car, she looked back with sorrowful eyes, wanting to say something more several times. But she also understood that many things, many emotions, couldn't be sorted out in an instant. She herself was too chaotic right now.
Jin Chao turned his gaze to her, taking in her somewhat haggard appearance, and said to her, "Go back. Get some good rest this afternoon."
Jiang Mu urged, "Take care on your way."
Jin Chao nodded, and she closed the car door, watching him drive away.After returning to the rental apartment, Jiang Mu took a shower, made some simple food, and lay down on the bed. She hadn't cried like that in years and felt completely drained, yet she couldn't fall into deep sleep. The towering flames after the explosion once again invaded her mind like a terrifying nightmare, jolting her awake several times. Eventually, she simply sat up, leaning against the headboard, took out her phone, found Gu Zhijie's number, and dialed.
When the call connected, she asked, "Do you know where I can sign up for a driver's license near the research institute?"
Gu Zhijie laughed, "Didn't you say there was no hurry? Why the sudden interest in getting a license?"
Jiang Mu hummed in acknowledgment, "I want to get it done early."
True to his word, Gu Zhijie took her matters to heart. The next day during his lunch break, he came to find Jiang Mu and took her to a nearby driving school. She went through the registration and payment process efficiently. After leaving the driving school, Gu Zhijie told her she could start preparing for the Subject One exam in her free time—she could get her license in as little as two months if things went smoothly. Jiang Mu nodded.
So, in the following days, she would study traffic regulations after work and even downloaded a set of practice test questions to work through. Meanwhile, Jin Chao hadn't contacted her since their hike days ago.
That day, after suddenly learning the truth Jin Chao had kept from her, all the hardships they had each endured over the years, living worlds apart, surged in her chest. Unable to control her emotions, she had broken down crying in front of him.
Looking back, it felt somewhat embarrassing. She realized there was a six-year gap between when she learned the news and when he had experienced it. He seemed to have moved on from the accident, appearing calm and striving to live a normal life. Her outburst, however, might have forced him to confront his physical limitations—something she never intended but might have inadvertently touched upon his sensitivities.
For instance, he deliberately avoided her assistance and firmly rejected her offer to see him home.
Since childhood, Jin Chao had excelled academically, the type teachers would say was naturally gifted. Whatever he set out to do, he seemed to achieve with minimal effort. Though his family wasn't well-off, he carried himself with unyielding pride.
If not for his strong self-esteem, he wouldn't have clawed his way out of rock bottom, battered and bruised but still standing.
So he wouldn't accept her pity, nor did he need her accommodations. Her cautiousness might even unsettle him, leaving Jiang Mu suddenly unsure how to interact with him.
If not for the holiday notice, Jiang Mu would have completely overlooked the annual Mid-Autumn Festival.
The institute distributed mooncake gift boxes and other holiday treats. Even as an intern, she received the same items, but carrying them home, she felt adrift.
This was traditionally a time for family reunions and moon gazing, yet she was alone, which left her feeling desolate. She sent a message to Jin Chao: "How are you spending tomorrow?"
After a long while, Jin Chao replied: "I have something during the day."
Jiang Mu asked again: "Is the coffee shop open tomorrow?"
Jin Chao told her: "Until four PM."
So, before 4 PM the next day, Jiang Mu arrived at "oon" carrying the mooncakes. Before she even stepped inside, a message from Jin Chao came through: "At home?"
Jiang Mu took a photo of the starry sign and sent it to him.
The "Closed" sign was already hung on the door, but it wasn't locked. Pushing the door open, Jiang Mu saw them distributing crabs inside.Gu Tao and Xiao Ke were rolling up their sleeves when Fang Jie emerged from behind the counter. Spotting Jiang Mu entering, Fang Jie greeted her warmly: "Perfect timing. Would you like some crab?"
Jiang Mu smiled and replied, "I just came to bring you some mooncakes. Where did all this crab come from?"
Gu Tao turned to inform her: "A client gifted them to the boss. He's down with a cold and fever lately and can't eat cold-natured food, so we got lucky. Take a few home with you too."
Seeing they had already divided them up, Jiang Mu felt it would be impolite to take any, so she waved her hand: "No need. How did your boss catch a cold?"
Gu Tao said, "Probably caught a chill over the weekend."
Jiang Mu's heart tightened. The weekend—wasn't that when he went hiking with her? The mountain winds were strong, he had sweated profusely, and later sat with her on a stone bench halfway up the mountain, exposed to the breeze for quite some time.
Her face instantly paled. No wonder he hadn't contacted her these past few days. She had thought she had upset him. She abruptly stood up, intending to step outside and call him, but just as she reached the courtyard, Jin Chao appeared at the shop entrance wearing a dark overcoat. Seeing her coming out, he looked somewhat surprised: "Playing hostess?"
Jiang Mu immediately put away her phone, feeling flustered: "Yeah, are you paying wages?"
A faint smile touched Jin Chao's lips: "Can't afford it."
With that, he walked over to her, pushed the door open, and Jiang Mu followed him inside, saying, "You're saying you can't afford it without even asking the price?"
Jin Chao glanced back at her deeply, and in that one look, Jiang Mu suddenly recalled youthful memories—that year she had accidentally ended up racing with Jin Chao, and a rich second-generation heir had asked about the price of his navigator.
"Priceless."
She remembered him answering like that.
Jiang Mu's mood suddenly lifted, but it didn't last more than three seconds, because Gu Tao then asked: "Finished the IV drip already? That was quick today."
Jiang Mu hurried over to look at the back of his hand. Jin Chao's gaze shifted slightly, and he tucked his hand into his overcoat pocket.
Remembering he had said earlier he had daytime business, Jiang Mu realized his so-called business was actually getting an IV drip. Going alone for an IV during the festival—the more she thought about it, the more it pained her. If only she had known, she would have accompanied him. Worried, she stepped in front of him and asked, "Still feverish?"
Jin Chao glanced sideways at her, seeing her guilty expression, then simply turned and bent down: "Want to check for yourself?"
His figure cast a shadow over her, and his familiar scent made her heart flutter. She couldn't help but raise her hand to feel his forehead, almost touching it when Jin Chao suddenly straightened up, a smile tugging at his lips. Jiang Mu's hand met empty air as she watched him turn around and walk casually over to Gu Tao and the others, saying, "If there's nothing else, head back early to celebrate the festival."
Soon, they packed up and clocked out. Jin Chao told them to go ahead while he locked up.
After everyone had left, the café grew quiet. Warm golden light shone on the mountaintop beyond the floor-to-ceiling windows. Jin Chao was behind the counter, and Jiang Mu sat by the window, looking at her phone.
Before long, the rich aroma of coffee wafted through the air, growing stronger. When Jiang Mu looked up, a cup of coffee had been placed before her. Jin Chao took a seat opposite her and said, "Moonlight. Not for sale. Give it a try."
Jiang Mu looked at the moon-shaped latte art in the cup and smiled.
Moonlight, the Mid-Autumn Festival, moon viewing.
This was the most fitting coffee she had ever tasted.Jiang Mu took a sip, her eyes lighting up with a familiar taste—one of the few flavors she could still distinctly remember.
It was the same coffee Jin Chao had handed her that night at the garage when they officially became a couple. Slightly sweet, he had told her not all coffee was bitter.
He said he wouldn’t let her suffer.
A soft smile spread across Jiang Mu’s lips. She lifted her gaze to him and noticed he had taken off his jacket at some point, now wearing a well-fitted dark gray knit sweater that outlined the perfect lines from his shoulders to his arms.
Her eyes curved into crescents as she said to him, “Watching them prepare the crabs reminded me of when we still lived in Suzhou. Mom would always buy crabs for Mid-Autumn Festival.”
Jin Chao lowered his gaze slightly and said, “There’s still a box at home.”
Jiang Mu set down her coffee cup, gently swaying the handle, a smile playing at the corner of her mouth. “Are you taking me home?”
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