Jin Qiang's apartment only had two rooms. Jin Xin, nearly eight years old, still shared a bedroom with their parents, while the other small room served as Jiang Mu's temporary sleeping quarters at night.
After a long day of travel, she surveyed the room—less than ten square meters. A wooden desk stood empty, as if deliberately cleared, while a large dartboard hung on the wall with three darts clustered perfectly in the bullseye. Two boxes of clothing and personal items, shipped ahead by Jiang Yinghan, were neatly stacked in the corner.
She didn't know if Jin Chao had carried them upstairs, but her mind conjured an image of him hauling the boxes up five flights in one go.
The white latex paint on the walls had yellowed with age, but the low bed was impeccably clean, carrying the scent of sunlight. Jiang Mu wondered if this might have been Jin Chao's bedroom.
But if she was staying here, where would Jin Chao sleep?
That evening, she deliberately stepped out to check and found Jin Chao wasn't home—he seemed to have already gone out. The gift box she'd given him sat unopened on the living room display stand, which dampened her spirits somewhat.
The next day, Jiang Mu accompanied Jin Qiang to her new school. The affiliated high school wasn't particularly close to Jin Qiang's home, and she found herself confusedly following him through two bus transfers before they arrived.
It felt strangely significant. Back in their childhood, whenever parent-teacher conferences or school events required parental attendance, Jiang Yinghan had always been the one to show up for her, while Jin Chao's school matters fell to Jin Qiang—an unspoken family rule.
This arrangement meant Jin Qiang had rarely participated in her academic life before her parents' divorce. Every year during cultural performances when parents were invited, Jiang Yinghan would attend. Even when young Jiang Mu practiced diligently and achieved top marks in school, Jiang Yinghan never offered extravagant praise—at most, a KFC meal as reward. Watching other fathers hoist their children onto their shoulders, did she feel envy? Perhaps a little, but she never let it show around Jiang Yinghan.
Having gone so many years like this, she now found herself being led to school by her father to meet teachers—the experience left her with complex emotions.
Tonggang Affiliated High School occupied more land than her previous school. As they entered the gates, Jin Qiang told her, "After your mom called me, I came by earlier. I contacted Jin Chao's former homeroom teacher, Mr. Ma. He saw your good academic record and helped arrange things. Be polite when we meet him."
Jiang Mu glanced at the object wrapped in multiple layers of red plastic bags in Jin Qiang's hand, unsure what it contained. His words surprised her: "Brother—I mean, Jin Chao studied here for high school?"
"Of course he did."
She ventured cautiously, "I heard he didn't continue after high school? Why?"
Jin Qiang glanced at her, nervously kneading the plastic bag in his hands before mumbling vaguely, "He couldn't keep up with the studies."
Jiang Mu gazed at the red-brick teaching building, where the school motto "Small Deeds Achieve Great Things, Attitude Determines Future" hung—twelve large characters gleaming brilliantly in the sunlight.
She couldn't understand how Jin Chao could have "couldn't keep up with the studies." It seemed during those nine years she'd missed, he had completely transformed into another person.Jiang Mu followed Jin Qiang to the office and met the Teacher Ma he had mentioned—a middle-aged man around forty with distinctive features. A large mole sat beside his nose, faintly sprouting a tuft of hair that quivered with his skin when he spoke, making it hard to look away.
During the enrollment process, Teacher Ma asked about Jiang Mu’s past academic performance: "I see English and Chinese are your strong subjects. How did you slip so much in the previous college entrance exam?"
Jiang Mu replied casually, "I didn’t perform well."
Unexpectedly, Teacher Ma brought up Jin Chao: "You should learn from your older brother. His mental resilience is remarkable—the day before the exam, he dislocated his right arm in a fight, spent the night on an IV, and still managed to test into the top ten of his grade using only his left arm."
Jiang Mu froze for a moment. Teacher Ma then muttered, "Though you and your brother don’t look much alike."
Jin Qiang chuckled beside them but didn’t respond. Jiang Mu also lowered her head in silence. In the past, she might have retorted, "We looked alike as kids"—after all, neighbors used to say so—but now she couldn’t bring herself to say it.
After the paperwork was done, Jin Qiang told Jiang Mu to explore the school on her own while he chatted with Teacher Ma.
Jiang Mu went down to the second floor and stood by the windowsill, gazing at the vast sports field ahead. To the right was a connected basketball court. Due to the holiday, the grounds were empty, with the glare of the scorching sun spilling across the field—everything felt like a fresh start.
Turning around, she noticed display cases along the corridor and paused before one. Inside were introductions to student competitions and past school events, illustrated with photos and text.
To her surprise, she spotted a familiar figure in one of the pictures—a relay race where a boy on the track glanced back to receive the baton, his form forever captured in that moment. The youth’s muscles were taut, his eyes blazing with unstoppable drive. Under the perfect sunlight, vitality radiated from him, while students along the sidelines stood excitedly with arms raised high, as if the roaring cheers from the photo could still be heard.
This version of Jin Chao in the image was how she had always imagined him. But what had happened to make him abandon his studies not long after?
Jiang Mu lingered for a long time. When she returned, she saw Jin Qiang take out something wrapped in multiple layers of plastic bags—two cartons of Huazi cigarettes. He tried to press them into Teacher Ma’s hands, but after several refusals, Jin Qiang simply set them on the desk, turned, and motioned for Jiang Mu to leave.
Jiang Mu recalled Jiang Yinghan’s words before she went abroad: "I offered to transfer your living expenses to your father, but he refused. Once you’re there, don’t spend his money, lest he use it as an excuse to accuse me of being heartless."
Jiang Mu didn’t fully grasp her mother’s meaning, but she remembered the instruction not to use her father’s money.
On the way back, she remarked, "How much did those two cartons of cigarettes cost? My mom said if there are expenses, I should pay you back."
Jin Qiang let out a scornful grumble in his throat: "That’s exactly why your mother values money above all else. Tell her I’m not as narrow-minded as she is."
Jiang Mu was again left puzzled—how could offering him money be considered narrow-minded?Jin Qiang, seeing her remain silent, added, "Don't overthink it. Your brother had some issues a few years back, and Teacher Ma put in a lot of effort to help. I owe him a favor—it's not entirely because of you."
Jiang Mu wanted to ask what had happened to Jin Chao back then, but Jin Qiang had to leave for work and dropped her off at the entrance of the residential complex before driving away. This only fueled her intense curiosity about Jin Chao's past, especially when she recalled the bearded man's words from the previous night. A shiver ran down her spine.
When she returned home, Zhao Meijuan opened the door and told her there were dumplings in the pot, instructing her to help herself.
Jiang Mu had always been a picky eater since childhood. Before her parents divorced, Jin Chao was the only one who could coax her into eating. He would weave tales around the vegetables she disliked, feeding them to her while she was engrossed in his stories.
After Jin Chao left with their father, even Jiang Yinghan couldn't handle her. The stricter she was, the more Jiang Mu resisted eating. Without her brother's imaginative touch, those once-disliked vegetables became utterly unpalatable. By the time she was transitioning to middle school, Jiang Mu suffered from malnutrition, worrying Jiang Yinghan so much that she dragged her to various traditional Chinese doctors.
As she grew older, her pickiness improved slightly, but she still disliked wheat-based foods. Since arriving here, she'd had noodles once and dumplings twice, leaving her feeling utterly miserable.
Too embarrassed to order takeout in front of Zhao Meijuan, she served herself five dumplings and sat alone at the table to eat.
On the other side of the table, Zhao Meijuan was tutoring Jin Xin in math. Ten minutes had passed, and they were still stuck on the equation 4 + 7. Zhao Meijuan was clearly losing her temper, her voice growing louder as she yelled, "What's wrong with your brain? Is your brain growing in your kneecaps?"
"???"
Having grown up in the south, Jiang Mu had rarely heard such creative insults. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the little girl's dazed expression and felt a pang of sympathy for her. Seizing the moment while grabbing a tissue, she subtly held up two fingers.
The little girl glanced at her and said, "4 + 7 equals 2."
"…"
Without another word, Jiang Mu stood up, washed her plate in the kitchen, and retreated to her room.
Throughout the afternoon, Zhao Meijuan's furious shouts echoed outside her door. Surprisingly, Jiang Mu managed to fall asleep to the soundtrack of her roaring. Dinner was yet another round of dumplings. With great difficulty, she forced down five more. Jin Chao hadn't returned all day. When she casually asked about him during the meal, Jin Qiang simply said, "He's busy with his own things. Don't worry about him."
That night, Jiang Mu tossed and turned in bed, unable to shake the words she'd overheard in the hallway the previous night: "Are you really going? Do you have a death wish?"
Where was Jin Chao planning to go? What was he going to do? The bearded man had deliberately refused to enter, clearly not wanting Jin Qiang and the others to know. Was it something dangerous? What was Jin Chao doing all day if he wasn't attending school?
These questions swirled in her mind, leaving her wide awake. She took out her phone, opened WeChat, and searched for Jin Chao by adding a contact via phone number. Sure enough, his account popped up—his username was straightforward, just the character "Chao," and his profile picture was a sleek liquor bottle.
After hesitating for a few seconds, she tapped the "Add Friend" button and waited quietly. Five minutes passed, but her phone screen remained dead silent. Jiang Mu recalled what Teacher Ma had said during the day—that Jin Chao had gotten into a fight and dislocated his arm. An inexplicable sense of dread washed over her. What kind of life-threatening situation was he heading into? Could he be planning something extreme, like murder or arson?At that thought, Jiang Mu frantically tapped the "Add" button several more times. Half a minute later, the other party finally responded—her phone chimed, indicating the friend request had been accepted, followed immediately by a question mark from "Chao."
That single question mark left Jiang Mu stunned. How should she reply? "Where have you been?" Wouldn't that sound completely random?
She agonized for a long time, wondering how to coax Jin Chao into revealing information. After carefully crafting her words, she finally replied: Where are you?
At that moment, Jin Chao was discussing matters with Jin Fengzi and his crew at a barbecue stall in the back alley of Ye Lane. The conversation had been serious until Jin Chao's phone chimed once. He ignored it, but then it started buzzing incessantly. The whole table of men stopped talking and turned their eyes to Jin Chao. Frowning impatiently, he pulled out his phone and saw a friend request. Opening it revealed a string of repeated requests. Seeing it was from a woman, he was about to lock his phone again when he suddenly brought it closer for another look. The WeChat name read "Struggling to Get Up," with a profile picture of a moon wearing cartoon rabbit ears.
He lowered his head and skimmed through her Moments, which showed only the last three days of activity—a single post saying "Goodbye, my beloved Suzhou," accompanied by a photo of Suzhou Railway Station.
Jin Chao exited the screen, accepted the request, and sent a question mark in response.
...
Two minutes passed after Jiang Mu sent her "Where are you?" message before Jin Chao finally replied: Still not asleep?
Jiang Mu glanced at the time on her phone—it was almost midnight, just five minutes away. It was indeed late, but she couldn't sleep at all. She casually sent back: I'm hungry.
Jin Chao kept looking down to reply to messages, and his buddies couldn't take it anymore. Changing the subject, one joked, "You Jiu, who are you texting?"
Another chimed in, "Could it be a girl? You've got something going on?"
Jin Chao didn't answer. He locked his phone, suddenly stood up, and left the group staring at him in confusion. With a wave of his hand, he paid the bill and said to them, "Keep drinking. I've got something to handle."
With that, he walked toward the alley entrance and hailed a taxi.
...
Jiang Mu hadn't received a reply from Jin Chao for a while. She opened his Moments, hoping to get a glimpse of his life, but his privacy settings blocked her from seeing anything.
Rolling over in bed, Jiang Mu realized that what she'd said offhand had actually made her hungry—her stomach was growling. It dawned on her that five dumplings really weren't enough to fill her up.
Rubbing her stomach, she sat up abruptly, about to compromise and boil some dumplings, when her phone chimed again.
Chao: Come down.
Jiang Mu jolted, leaped out of bed barefoot, pulled back the curtains, and peered downstairs. Under the bright moonlight, a dark figure stood by the bike shed, his gaze steady as he watched the upper floors, a faint spark glowing in his hand.
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