Speed and Love

Chapter 47

Jiang Mu had returned to the same routine she had when she first arrived in Tonggang. Whenever school let out early on Fridays or during weekends, she would hole up in the auto repair shop doing homework and reviewing lessons. After the New Year, the shop became even busier. Jin Chao had converted the back shed into a temporary warehouse—a very enclosed space filled with stacks of boxes. Strangers Jiang Mu had never seen before frequently came to pick up goods, almost always at night.

The mysterious nature of these activities once led Jiang Mu to suspect that Jin Chao had started some side business dealing drugs. But in reality, she had seen the contents—they were just auto parts. Jiang Mu didn’t know if he had found a new way to make money, but recently, Jin Chao had been buying strawberries by the crate. One day, she even saw him hand a bank card to Tie Gongji.

The turnover in the back shed was high. If Jiang Mu didn’t visit for two days, the boxes in the shed would be emptied.

Jin Chao was very cautious about the items in the back shed. During the day when the shop was open for business, he kept the shed door locked to prevent customers from accidentally wandering in. Only when the front rolling shutter was closed could the back door of the shed be opened. Jiang Mu, being considered one of their own, wasn’t deliberately kept in the dark. When she asked Jin Chao what those things were, he honestly told her they were authorized auto parts.

Although Jin Chao was very busy in March, he was still around. After a long day of work, he would return to the break room and, at Jiang Mu’s request, explain some advanced physics concepts to her.

Before this, Jiang Mu had always thought physics was a boring and dry subject, filled with obscure theories and frustrating formulas.

But Jin Chao helped her open the door to this future path. Sometimes, while studying, she felt she wasn’t learning physics but mathematics. Other times, it didn’t feel like math—it felt like philosophy, growing increasingly abstract.

The Biot–Savart law nearly brought Jiang Mu to tears. At night, she dreamed of triple integrals and surface integrals—and that was just the electromagnetism portion. She didn’t even want to think about quantum mechanics. Jin Chao had only explained things slightly beyond what was covered in her high school textbook, yet Jiang Mu was already complaining, insisting that his brain was wired differently from hers.

As she delved deeper into the subject, she encountered more and more questions she couldn’t understand. Sometimes, she would bombard Jin Chao with a series of "whys," making him laugh. He told her this was a good sign—to judge the beauty of heaven and earth and analyze the principles of all things, having questions meant she was developing an interest. It was a great start.

The benefit was that after a while, when she returned to her high school physics problems, she could handle them with ease.

Jiang Mu could tell that Jin Chao had been exhausted lately. In the evenings, after making her a glass of orange juice, he would brew himself an extra-strong cup of coffee—something he never used to drink. She wondered if it was because he’d been overworking himself.

The break room was always filled with the rich aroma of coffee, accompanied by Jin Chao’s low, magnetic voice, making Jiang Mu gradually grow fond of that scent.

Several times, she wanted to try it, but Jin Chao would always chide her, "You’re still young—why drink strong coffee?"

Of course, Jiang Mu refused to admit she was still young. Once, while Jin Chao was out, she sneaked a sip of his coffee. It was so bitter she quickly gulped down a large mouthful of orange juice. When Jin Chao returned and picked up his coffee, he paused just before bringing it to his lips, lifted his eyes to Jiang Mu, and asked in a relaxed tone, "Was it good?"

Feeling guilty, Jiang Mu replied, "I think I might still be too young…"After April began, Jin Chao was so busy he became practically invisible. He was often not at the auto shop. According to Tie Gongji, he was out running business. Jiang Mu, who hadn't yet stepped into society, imagined "running business" as something like sales—wearing out your shoe leather and your voice pitching products door-to-door. But clearly, her understanding of it and what Jin Chao was actually doing were quite different.

Several times after evening self-study, she called him, only for him to hang up first and then text her back. Sometimes he wouldn't call back until ten minutes later. When she asked where he was, he'd just say he was busy outside and tell her to go home early and message him when she arrived.

Throughout April, Jiang Mu hardly saw him. She had classes during the day, and evening self-study sometimes ran until nearly ten o'clock. Even on Sundays, when she had rare free time, Jin Chao wasn't necessarily at the shop.

One night, she went to bed at one in the morning, exhausted but unable to sleep. She sent him a pitiful-looking emoji, expecting he wouldn't reply so quickly. But as soon as she put her phone down, his message came through: "Why aren't you asleep yet?"

Jiang Mu stared at her phone screen for a long moment, unsure how to respond. Lately, during evening self-study, the scent of coffee kept drifting through her mind, unsettling her.

After thinking it over, she replied: "Nothing, I just wanted to smell coffee."

Jin Chao wrote back: "Go to sleep early."

Jiang Mu didn't know if he was still out working. He had entered society too early, and his social circle was vast and chaotic. What she saw was only the tip of the iceberg. Apart from the auto shop business, she knew almost nothing about Jin Chao. He could draw blueprints and communicate using all-English specifications for parts. She didn't know who those frequent buyers were, nor whom he met when he went out every day.

All sorts of people often came to the shop looking for him. Once, she even saw several luxury cars pull up outside, and they called him away directly. There was even a foreigner in one of the cars. Jin Chao was gone the whole night, and she had no idea where he went.

In Jiang Mu's eyes, his life was split in two. What he showed her was a monotonous, repetitive livelihood, while the part he never revealed was a world she couldn't even imagine.

She, on the other hand, still lived a simple life between home and school, completely unaware of the turbulence outside.

Staring at the pale ceiling, the countdown in her heart sped up. Only two months until the college entrance exam. Her future was uncertain. Whether she went to another city or abroad, she would inevitably be separated from Jin Chao.

Four years of university—four years! So many seasons. Would she still be herself? And would he still be him?

Everything seemed like an unknown variable, and as the exam date approached, that uncertainty made Jiang Mu increasingly anxious.

The next day, as usual, Jiang Mu shouldered her backpack and headed for the bus. Just outside her neighborhood, she saw Jin Chao leaning against a black SUV. The sun had just peeked over the horizon. He wore a work jacket and jeans, his figure tall and lean, sharp and upright. The faint morning light wrapped around him like a thin mist. The image slammed into her vision, and in that instant, she suddenly understood the source of her anxiety from the night before.She might, perhaps, possibly have developed inappropriate feelings for this man she had always called brother—feelings she couldn’t control, overflowing like a flood.

Her expression remained blank, her face calm and unruffled, but inside, the moment she saw Jin Chao, a tidal wave had already surged. She didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how he would react if she told him, and even more uncertain where their relationship would go once she spoke the words.

Perhaps because she hadn’t seen Jin Chao for several days, Jiang Mu thought he had lost some weight, the contours of his face appearing more defined and angular. She stood there, rooted to the spot, watching him until Jin Chao bent down, pulled a cup from the car, and handed it to her. “No coffee, but I have soy milk.”

Jiang Mu’s emotions were tangled. She walked over, took the warm soy milk from his hand, and Jin Chao drove her to school. On the way, he asked how her recent studies were going. Jiang Mu replied absentmindedly, “Fine.”

But her gaze remained fixed outside the window. In truth, she knew Jin Chao had always been good to her. Her decision to come to Tonggang for school had been partly out of stubbornness—whether it was the initial discomfort at her father’s house or the unpleasantness with her mother during the New Year. If not for Jin Chao by her side, she likely would have found each day dragging on endlessly.

Yet, how much of his kindness stemmed from their past bond? How much was due to their current sibling relationship? And how much came from other emotions she couldn’t decipher? Jiang Mu wasn’t sure, but one thing was certain: if she ever spoke her mind, Jin Chao might not cut her off completely, but he definitely wouldn’t accept her.

Since the New Year, Jiang Mu had noticed that no matter how late she stayed at the auto shop, Jin Chao would always send her back to Jin Qiang’s house, never letting her stay overnight at his place.

He still cared about her studies and looked after her daily life, but there was a clear boundary between them. Whenever Jiang Mu approached that line, Jin Chao would subtly steer her back into place. She couldn’t cross it and was terrified that if she recklessly laid everything out, once the college entrance exams ended in two months, they would lose all contact.

Jin Chao parked the car by the roadside opposite the school. Jiang Mu turned to look at him, several times on the verge of speaking but unsure what to say. In the end, she only asked, “Have you been really busy lately?”

Jin Chao nodded. Jiang Mu muttered under her breath, “Why push yourself so hard? Eager to save up for a wife?”

Jin Chao laughed, glancing sideways at her. “Are you going to introduce me to someone?”

Jiang Mu’s expression darkened, her tone sharp. “Sure, there are plenty of beauties at our school.”

Jin Chao’s lips twitched. “Too young. I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

Jiang Mu said nothing more, got out of the car, and shut the door. Jin Chao rolled down the window, resting his chin on his arm as he watched Jiang Mu walk around the front of the car to the roadside. He said leisurely, “When you texted me last night, I was still in Wushi.”

Jiang Mu halted, turning back from a step away from the car door. Beneath Jin Chao’s thick lashes were eyes as deep as pools. Though he was smiling as he looked at her, a trace of weariness lingered between his brows. His tone, however, was light. “I rushed back this morning to take you to school, and this is the sulky face you give me?”

Jiang Mu blinked softly, mumbling, “I’m not sulking.”

Jin Chao’s fingers lightly adjusted the rearview mirror, angling it toward her. He raised an eyebrow and said, “Take a look for yourself.”Jiang Mu pressed her lips together, refusing to admit it. Jin Chao reached out and tapped her head lightly. "Go on, you'll be late."

Her eyes remained fixed on him, afraid that once she turned away, she wouldn't see him for days. Jin Chao withdrew his hand and leaned back in his seat, saying to her, "I'm not leaving. I'll watch you go in."

The school bell rang, forcing Jiang Mu to finally look away and sprint toward the entrance. By the time she reached the third floor and peered through the corridor toward the school gate, the SUV was still parked there. She didn't know if Jin Chao could see her, but she raised her hand and waved in the direction of the car.

Her phone buzzed. She pulled it out to see a message from Jin Chao: "Focus on your class. Don't overthink things."

...

Near the end of April, after evening self-study, Yan Xiaoyi insisted on taking Jiang Mu to eat fried skewers. She claimed a new stall on Dongqiao North Street had recently become wildly popular, operating only at night, and this was the perfect time to catch it.

Jiang Mu hadn't eaten much at school that evening and figured the extra two stops weren't too far, so she went with Yan Xiaoyi to Dongqiao North Street.

When they arrived, Jiang Mu realized the street was bustling. Night market snacks, bathhouses, mahjong parlors—it had everything. Especially at night, the place was brightly lit and packed with people.

By the time they found the legendary fried skewer stall, a long line had already formed. The aroma filled the entire street. They finally got their turn, ordered a pile of skewers, and started walking back, munching as they went.

They were almost at the bus stop and nearly finished eating when Yan Xiaoyi brought up a recently released historical detective drama, complaining she had no time to watch it and vowing to binge it as soon as the college entrance exams were over. Jiang Mu casually asked which celebrities were in it.

Across the street stood a lavish nightclub, its entrance adorned with extravagant lights that illuminated the opposite sidewalk. Jiang Mu glanced over just as a group emerged from the club doors. Her gaze swept past them absently until Yan Xiaoyi mentioned a familiar male actor's name. Jiang Mu was about to ask why he'd taken on a historical role when—

Her eyes snapped back. She stared intently at the crowd and instantly spotted Jin Chao. If not for his towering height, she might not have recognized him. He wore a black shirt with the top button undone, his arm draped around a provocatively dressed woman who seemed to belong to the nightlife scene. He was chatting effortlessly among the men, exuding a rakish charm.

Jiang Mu froze, watching him. The laughter drifting from across the street made her blood run cold. Though only a street separated them, it felt like another world—a world of neon lights and decadent pleasures, an adult playground, a side of Jin Chao he had never shown her.

Yan Xiaoyi stopped beside her, following her gaze. "What are you looking at?"

Perhaps her stare was too intense, because Jin Chao finally noticed and turned. There stood Jiang Mu in her school uniform, backpack still on.

That momentary eye contact reminded her of his words: "You're too young. I can't cross that line." Her vision blurred slightly.

Surprise flickered in Jin Chao's eyes, but only for a second before he looked away. A man in front of him said, "Brother Yin booked a room at Fengyuan. Wanna go have some fun?"

Jin Chao tightened his arm around the woman and laughed recklessly. "You should've told me earlier. I wouldn't have drunk so much—it'll affect my performance."

The woman beside him giggled. "Don't worry, you won't have to do any work."The men around them all laughed, someone cursing: "Good looks are a damn advantage—even getting things done comes with service."

Jin Chao also wore a frivolous smile on his face.

Jiang Mu turned around, struggling to suppress her trembling voice as she said to Yan Xiaoyi, "I won’t ride with you."

After speaking, she hurried toward the other end of the street, walking faster and faster. She didn’t know what she was fleeing from, only feeling the night closing in around her. The lit-up shop signs along the street vanished completely, her body sinking continuously, unable to see any light.

Author's Note: Leave a comment to grab a red envelope.

To judge the beauty of heaven and earth, to analyze the principles of all things—Zhuangzi

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