"I'll just take a look and leave. I won't disrupt your lives."
He grew irritated again: "You can glance around other places casually if you want, but what right do you have to make such a request of me just because some whim strikes you?"
"You're right, I truly have no right to make demands. I'm only begging you, please consider it. How... how is his health now?"
He stared at her, filled with indescribable vexation. His reason told him he should turn and leave, drive back to the provincial capital, stick to his original plan of attending the concert with his girlfriend, and pay her no more mind. Yet standing in this small village, memories surged over him like a tidal wave. The first time he had seen Zuo Si'an suddenly became as vivid as if it had happened yesterday. That young, haggard face superimposed itself over the calm one before him that inexplicably angered him—he couldn't bring himself to make the decisive choice to walk away.
Author's Note: Many friends have asked about publication—this isn't something authors can control. What I've heard is that the book cover has already been designed, and it should be published around July, though the exact date isn't clear. Thank you all for your support. Also, regarding that osmanthus tree—some readers have already made the connection. Heh, it's indeed one of my peculiar quirks.
☆ ☆ ☆
10
III
This golden autumn season might be the most pleasant time in Liu Wan, this otherwise unremarkable little village. The fragrance of osmanthus blossoms permeated the air, everywhere at once, creating the illusion that life held few ups and downs, that everything could easily achieve a state of serene sweetness.
However, nights in Liu Wan were far less quiet than before, and everyone seemed to be staying up later. Gao Xiang stood by the pond smoking, able to hear nearby households blaring their televisions—noisy soap operas and variety shows mingled with the sound of mahjong tiles being shuffled. Leaning against his car, he couldn't explain why he had decided to stay the night. Just to take Zuo Si'an to the airport tomorrow? The reason sounded laughable even to himself.
Two beams of bright headlights swept over him. A white BMW pulled up by the pond and parked next to his car. A slender young man emerged, dressed in a white shirt and khaki trousers. He casually locked his car door and started walking toward the village, then suddenly stopped and turned back to study Gao Xiang.
In the hazy moonlight, Gao Xiang couldn't place him but nodded politely nonetheless. The man offered no response, turned, and walked away.
Gao Xiang didn't dwell on it, pulling out his phone to call home. He reminded his mother to make sure Gao Fei went to bed early after finishing homework and not play games too long. When Chen Zi Hui asked where he was, he certainly had no intention of mentioning Zuo Si'an, answering vaguely, "Discussing some matters with a friend. I'll be home tomorrow."
He strolled back to Aunt Mei's house and paused at the courtyard gate. There he saw the man who had studied him by the pond now sitting inside the courtyard with Aunt Mei and Zuo Si'an. Aunt Mei was asking, "...What exactly are you doing for work now, Xiao Chao? You absolutely must not do anything illegal again."
Only then did Gao Xiang realize—the scrawny boy from years past had grown into a man, one who had recognized him at a glance and maintained his unfriendly attitude. Gao Xiang couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry.Under Aunt Mei's questioning, Liu Guanchao also wore an expression caught between laughter and tears. "I mainly do architecture and programming for people, occasionally design games too. I take whatever jobs come my way. I don't formally work for any company, don't have a title, and can't really specify what exactly I do. But I guarantee I'm not doing anything illegal."
Aunt Mei clearly had little understanding of what he was talking about, looking at him with skepticism. Zuo Si'an said softly, "It's alright, Aunt Mei. Xiao Chao is a freelancer. Many people make a living this way now."
Aunt Mei relaxed slightly but sighed. "If that's the case, why didn't you explain it to your parents? You've kept them constantly worried."
His face darkened. "There's no point explaining to them. Anyway, I didn't go to college and I've been to prison. I can't bring glory to the family name. Nothing I say will satisfy them."
"Xiao Chao."
Aunt Mei shot him a reproachful look. He could only wave his hand. "Alright, alright. Xiao An rarely comes back. Let's not talk about these things."
Gao Xiang didn't want to join their casual conversation. He turned and walked out, returning to the lakeside. He got into the car, sat down, and turned on the car stereo to listen to music. He waited until the entire Liu Wan had quieted down and the lights had gone out one by one before returning to Aunt Mei's house. However, as he reached the doorway, he heard Zuo Si'an's voice.
"No, Xiao Chao. We haven't seen each other for over ten years. You didn't even recognize me when you saw me earlier. Yet you mention taking care of me for life—that's just too far-fetched."
He hadn't expected the conversation to still be going on, let alone to involve such personal content. He stopped in his tracks, hesitating, when he heard Liu Guanchao say, "Xiao An, this has always been my wish. Believe me, I can do it. I may not have gone to college, but I'm now a top-tier programmer in the industry with a very good income. I'm fully capable of giving you a good life."
"Thank you for your kindness," Zuo Si'an said softly. "You've always had a talent for math. I believe in your abilities. But I don't need anyone to take care of me. I've been living independently and doing quite well. Aunt Mei shouldn't have called you back."
"Back when you used to write to Jingjing, I could still learn a bit about your life—knowing you first lived in Portland, Maine, then went to college in New York. Later, you suddenly stopped all contact, and I was very worried. I repeatedly told Auntie and Jingjing to inform me immediately if there was any news of you. Fortunately, I've been in Qinggang these past few days handling some matters, or I might have missed you again. Xiao An, stay. Don't wander alone in foreign lands."
"Xiao Chao, I don't know why you imagine my life as so miserable. I work as a Resident at a hospital in Baltimore. It's tough, but I have enough income to live on. Once I become a Specialist in the future, income won't be an issue at all."
Gao Xiang had initially intended to leave, unwilling to eavesdrop on others' conversations, but the mention of Baltimore rooted him to the spot. He heard Zuo Si'an continue, "I have a fixed residence, a normal social life, friends, and more work than I can handle. Where would I find the opportunity to experience the tragic beauty of wandering the world?"
"Are you still in love with Gao Xiang? Otherwise, why did you seek him out as soon as you returned, without even contacting me?"The conversation took such an eerie and abrupt turn. In the ensuing strange silence, the chirping of autumn insects, rising and falling in succession, seemed to desperately try to fill the void. Zuo Si’an finally spoke, her voice gentle yet resigned, “Do I really need to explain why I looked for him as soon as I returned?”
“I’m sorry, Xiao An.”
“Let’s not bring this up again. Gao Xiang has a girlfriend—don’t disturb his life.”
“What about you?”
“I have a boyfriend too. He’s already proposed to me.”
Liu Guanchao was clearly taken aback and pressed further, “Who is he? Is he good to you?”
“He’s a lawyer, and he treats me well,” she replied succinctly. “Xiao Chao, please stop worrying about me.”
“No matter how hard I try, I can never make up for what my sister did to you. Please give me a chance, Xiao An…”
She cut him off, “No, don’t say that. Let the past stay in the past. There’s no need for anyone to dwell on it. Live well—carrying burdens does no good.”
Liu Guanchao’s voice was heavy, “You must hate me. Otherwise, back then, you wouldn’t have left without even saying goodbye.”
“Xiao Chao, what happened had nothing to do with you. I don’t hate you. It’s just that I was too immature back then and didn’t know how to properly say goodbye. When Aunt Mei told me about you dropping out of school, I felt so sorry. You shouldn’t have done that.”
“My parents expected me to act as if nothing had happened—to keep studying, take the college entrance exams, and earn money. But I couldn’t be as at ease as they were. Every time I thought of you, I just couldn’t stay in that house any longer.”
“We’re both doing fine now, Xiao Chao. There’s no need to bring up those unpleasant memories again. I haven’t adjusted to the time difference these past few days and I’m really exhausted. You should get some rest too. Aunt Mei has probably already tidied up your room.”
As Liu Guanchao stepped out, he bumped into Gao Xiang. He froze for a moment but showed no intention of greeting him, instead staring coldly and saying, “You’d better stay away from Xiao An. Hasn’t it been enough that your family forced her to live abroad for all these years?”
Before Gao Xiang could respond, Aunt Mei emerged from her house and scolded sharply, “Xiao Chao, how can you speak to a guest like that?”
Liu Guanchao, who had always held a mix of closeness and reverence for his aunt, fell silent, said nothing more, and entered his own house, slamming the door shut.
Aunt Mei shook her head helplessly. “Xiao Gao, don’t mind him. That child has always been stubborn. Stay at my place tonight—Guanwen’s room is empty.”
As Gao Xiang followed Aunt Mei into the yard, he saw Zuo Si’an still standing by the shallow pit left after the old osmanthus tree had been removed, lost in thought. Aunt Mei smiled wryly, “Xiao An, my son Guanwen sold that osmanthus tree for 6,000 yuan. He needed money for his wedding, his father had just fallen ill, and Jingjing’s schooling required funds too—we could only give him so much. The day they dug up the tree, it left such a big hole in the yard. It felt like a piece of my heart had been torn out. Jingjing cried as soon as she came home for summer break.”
Zuo Si’an said apologetically, “Aunt Mei, there’s no need to dwell on sad memories. Let’s just plant a new osmanthus tree.”
She shook her head and sighed deeply, “Old Liu said the same thing, but it’s just not the same. I only hope that tree was moved to a good home where it can keep blooming. It’s getting late—I’ll head to bed first.”Only Zuo Si'an and Gao Xiang remained in the courtyard. Gao Xiang's mood was also heavy: "Aunt Mei is too proud. I know her income as a village doctor is meager, but she never mentions her own family's difficulties to me. Every time she calls, it's to raise money for treating villagers, firmly refusing any extra compensation. She keeps every account clear and reports to me regularly every year. I should have been more attentive."
"Aunt Mei isn't just grieving over this tree. She once told me that marrying into the Liu family meant cutting off any hope of returning to the city, and she was deeply fearful. Just then, the osmanthus in the courtyard bloomed, its fragrance comforting her. From then on, she resolved to make this place her home. Seeing the home she's guarded for decades no longer whole would sadden anyone."
They fell silent. After a while, Gao Xiang suddenly asked, "Are you getting married?"
She was taken aback, then said after a pause, "It's just an engagement. The wedding date isn't set yet."
Who is he? Does he treat you well?
Gao Xiang almost asked the same questions as Liu Guanchao, but he wasn't Liu Guanchao after all. He merely looked at her thoughtfully: "So this trip back is like taking some time alone to think before making a decision?"
She lowered her gaze, repeating what she'd said during the day: "I just wanted to come back and see."
He said nothing more and turned to enter the house.
☆ 11
III
The next day after lunch, Gao Xiang and Zuo Si'an said goodbye to Aunt Mei. Aunt Mei held Zuo Si'an's hand, "When you have a holiday, come back and stay longer."
Tears welled in Zuo Si'an's eyes, but she didn't nod and agree casually. Her expression held an unusual seriousness and hesitation, finally saying softly, "I don't know, Aunt Mei."
Liu Guanchao also said he had matters to attend to and needed to leave. Aunt Mei turned and scolded him, "You're not allowed to go. Stay here honestly for two or three days. I still have things to say to you."
He opened his mouth but, glancing at Zuo Si'an, said nothing more.
Aunt Mei pressed a jar of homemade candied osmanthus into Zuo Si'an's hands, "This year's osmanthus has just started drying, so I only made this one jar. Take it first—add it to pastries or sweet soups, and it'll be very fragrant."
"This one jar will last me a very, very long time."
OpenNovel