"Is that true?"
"Of course it's true."
She immediately threw her arms around him, overjoyed: "Then I can apply to study at a university in New York."
4
By the time Gao Xiang saw Zuo Si'an home, it was already late at night. As they stepped onto the porch and Zuo Si'an was just taking out her keys, Yu Jia opened the door, clearly having waited for a long time.
Zuo Si'an said uneasily, "Mom, I'm sorry, I should have called."
"Hello, Teacher Yu. My apologies, I didn't notice the time and made Xiao An come home late."
Yu Jia quickly regained her composure and motioned for her daughter to go inside. "It is indeed very late. Let's discuss anything else tomorrow. Goodbye."
Gao Xiang understood that Yu Jia didn't want to say much without knowing his intentions. He returned to his car and waited until a light turned on in a second-floor bedroom, where Zuo Si'an stood by the window and waved to him, before starting the engine and driving away. He had booked a hotel in downtown Portland facing the harbor before coming and easily found it to check in.
Early the next morning, Yu Jia came over and called Gao Xiang's room, asking him to meet her in the lobby café downstairs.
"Sorry to wake you so early," Yu Jia said directly, "but I heard from Xiao An that you're leaving tomorrow. I have a meeting tonight and can only talk to you before work."
"No problem."
"When did you arrive in the U.S.?"
"About a month ago."
Yu Jia pointed out bluntly, "So you didn't specifically come to the U.S. to see Xiao An, right?"
Gao Xiang hesitated slightly: "Actually, I brought my son to New York for an examination to see if surgery is possible."
"Son? You're married?"
Gao Xiang was both amused and exasperated: "I'm not married. He... is that child. I adopted him."
Only then did Yu Jia realize. On the day Zuo Si'an gave birth at Qinggang County Hospital, she hadn't seen the baby and didn't feel it necessary. When the doctor announced that the newborn might have heart problems, Chen Zihui immediately threw a fit. Apart from deep anger and disgust, Yu Jia had no other thoughts. From the moment she brought Zuo Si'an home, she had urged her daughter to forget the incident. She herself practiced what she preached and indeed never actively thought about anything related to it. Now, hearing that the child Gao Xiang mentioned was the one her daughter had given birth to, and realizing the blood relation to herself, she suddenly felt restless.
"He has a severe congenital heart disease. He underwent two surgeries at six months and two and a half years old, but it wasn't cured. I consulted several authoritative experts in China, and they all concluded that his congenital heart disease symptoms are complex, especially since hypoplastic left heart syndrome is relatively rare in China, making it hard to determine a surgical plan. A friend recommended NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital as advanced in cardiac surgery with extensive experience handling left ventricle issues, so I brought him here. We've been doing various tests and consultations for the past month. I only found time to see Xiao An yesterday."
"You left that... child alone in New York?"
"My mother is taking care of him. I'm returning to New York tomorrow to finalize the surgical plan and schedule with the doctors. The surgery will likely be around mid-December."
"You haven't mentioned this to Xiao An, have you?"
"No, I only told her I came to New York to handle some matters.""Very well." Yu Jia quickly changed the subject. "It's thoughtful of you to come visit Xiao An. But I must say, she's just begun adapting to life here. If you come and go so abruptly, she'll likely be distracted for a long time again."
"Teacher Yu, do you think your daughter is happy?"
Yu Jia was taken aback. "She's doing quite well now—studying diligently, having mostly overcome the language barrier, and getting along well with classmates. Given a bit more time, she'll surely integrate fully into life here."
"And that counts as happiness?"
"What else should it be? She's already eighteen, soon to be an adult. She needs to consider her future and career, set goals to work toward. Of course she can't have the carefree happiness of a child."
Gao Xiang realized it was difficult to discuss emotional experiences with someone overly rational. He changed his approach. "Xiao An mentioned you want her to attend University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign."
"Yes, Xiao An has taken both SAT and ACT exams with excellent results. Her teachers say they've never seen such a diligent and talented student—though Americans do tend to exaggerate when praising others. But you can see Xiao An truly has academic talent." Speaking of this, Yu Jia showed the same pride any mother would. "If she hadn't only studied two years in an American high school with incomplete academic records and minimal extracurricular activities, she could have applied to much better schools, even with full scholarships. There are many good universities near Boston, but University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign meets my criteria—top-ranked in science and engineering worldwide, and as a public university, it has relatively lower tuition. It's quite a good choice."
"So these are all your ideas."
Yu Jia straightened seriously. "I understand what you're implying. Peter also says we should respect Xiao An's opinions, but I'm not forcing my views on her. She can propose her own ideas too, and we can compare which option is more reasonable and beneficial for her future development."
"Actually, we discussed this yesterday too."
"You're just visiting briefly—please don't influence her decision-making."
"If I were merely passing through, I'd have no right to comment. However, after treating my son's illness, I plan to stay in New York for an MBA program. I hope Xiao An can come to New York—there are excellent schools there too."
Yu Jia stared at Gao Xiang, stunned. His expression was solemn, with no hint of casual remark.
"Do you realize what this means?"
"I do. I love Xiao An and want to be with her in the future. In China, we might face criticism, but that's not an issue here in America."
"You'll still face family opposition," Yu Jia said coldly. "Without mentioning others, your mother would absolutely never accept your choice."
"I'm an adult. Having made this decision, I'll take full responsibility for my choices."
Yu Jia paused, somewhat flustered. "So you've already discussed this with Xiao An?"
He nodded affirmatively."I have a question for you, and I hope you'll answer truthfully." Yu Jia leaned forward slightly. "Xiao Gao, was this your plan before coming to Portland, or a decision you made yesterday?"
Yu Jia had hit the nail on the head, and Gao Xiang found himself momentarily unable to respond.
Of course, Bao Bao's congenital heart condition was extremely complex, and his initial purpose in bringing the child to America was entirely for medical treatment. However, the thought that Zuo Si'an was also in America made his longing uncontrollable. After settling his mother and Bao Bao, he immediately came to Portland. His idea was simple: to see her, and if she was doing well, he could leave with peace of mind. Yet no matter how well-laid the plans, they couldn't withstand the changes of reality. Almost the moment he rang the doorbell and saw Zuo Si'an standing before him, he understood—even though she appeared perfectly fine: healthy, upright, more open in conversation than before, and well-adapted to her environment, leaving him with no reason to worry—he could no longer do as he had planned: turn and leave without a second thought.
Yu Jia noted his hesitation and said decisively, "I can't entrust Xiao An to arrangements made on a whim."
"Teacher Yu, although this decision might have been made quickly, it doesn't mean it was on a whim. I've always loved Xiao An. What she's been through and her age were taboos for us being together, but she's now 18. Please give her the right to decide her own life."
"You're asking me to let her decide her own life as if I'm some dictatorial mother. But you suddenly show up, saying you've always loved her, that you'll stay in America and want her to go to New York. Aren't you clearly using your influence over her to sway her decision? Is that fair to her?"
"Xiao An came to see me before she went abroad, saying she wanted to stay. I really wanted to keep her then. You mentioned I have some influence over her—believe me, Teacher Yu, if I had said those words, she absolutely wouldn't have gone with you. But she wasn't an adult then; I couldn't abuse her trust and leave her in an awkward and difficult situation. Now that I've made this decision, I will definitely take responsibility for Xiao An."
"Responsibility?" Yu Jia scoffed. "I've always believed that everyone should take responsibility for their own life to truly live responsibly. Let me ask you another question: Secretary Hu told me your family's company in Qinggang is developing rapidly. Will your family allow you to put aside your work and study in America?"
"If I couldn't even solve that problem, how could I have the nerve to suggest Xiao An go to New York?"
"She's only 18, Gao Xiang. She's sensitive and very introverted, and it's taken her a lot to adapt to life here, with little time to make friends. When you say you'll stay in America for her, I have no doubt she'll be deeply moved. Don't even mention asking her to go to New York for college—even if you asked her to go to Africa, she'd probably agree. But I can't let her act on emotion like this."
"What if being with me makes her happier?"
"Happiness isn't the only goal in life. She's not mature enough and hasn't seriously planned her future. How many young people don't end up regretting decisions made on impulse at 18?""You can't use that as a reason to deny her the right to make decisions."
"Don't lecture me about principles—I could certainly deliver more convincing arguments than you. I consider myself anything but a fussy, meddling woman. I hope my daughter can leave her deeply unpleasant past behind and become an independent person. At the appropriate age, I want her to meet the right person, embark on a healthy relationship, devote herself wholeheartedly to you, without having to waste time and sacrifice her self-respect just to gain your family's approval."
Gao Xiang admitted that, as usual, Yu Jia's logic was impeccable, and her words were entirely reasonable both emotionally and rationally. The only thing she hadn't considered was the impact of the relationship she disapproved of. "I will stay with Xiao An until she finishes university. That gives us four years. By then, she will be mature enough, and I will have resolved all obstacles. She always has the right to change her mind, and I will respect any decision she makes. I also hope you will grant your daughter the same respect."
Yu Jia didn't press the point relentlessly. She glanced at her watch: "I need to go to the lab. Gao Xiang, I've always respected you, so I'll be frank: I don't agree with Xiao An being with you. I will do everything in my power to prevent this. At the same time, I urge you to think carefully—don't let emotions cloud your judgment. A rational and reasonable choice is the best choice."
Gao Xiang nodded slightly: "I will take the decisions I make seriously."
Yu Jia stood up, paused as she turned, seeming hesitant, but ultimately said nothing more and left directly.
Gao Xiang returned to his room, crossed his arms, and stood by the window looking out. In his line of sight was the harbor, dotted with various yachts and sailboats. Just like yesterday, a thick mist shrouded the sea, clouds churned overhead, and it remained an overcast day.
When he left New York, Chen Zihui had looked at him skeptically and asked where he was going. He'd simply replied that he was visiting a friend. His stern expression had kept her from probing further. But he could well imagine that if he proposed studying in the U.S., Chen Zihui would vehemently oppose it, and his family would likely not support him either.
Yet, this wasn't a impulsive whim. When he looked into Zuo Si'an's eyes and told her he'd decided to study in New York, her disbelief transforming into sheer joy, his own heart had filled with happiness. From childhood, his life had followed the track laid out by his family: attending key schools, testing into a good university, joining the family business in marketing after graduation. None of it had truly gone against his will, yet none of it had been entirely his own choice either. Falling in love with Zuo Si'an was the first completely involuntary act of his life.
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