Zuo Si'an, fearing altitude sickness, had rested overnight in Lhasa after flying from Chengdu before taking the next day's flight to Ngari. Stepping off the plane onto solid ground, she felt a disorienting sensation of weightlessness, as if floating. The journey from Lhasa had taken merely an hour and a half. She marveled at how the arduous, lengthy drive she'd made 15 years ago from Lhasa to Shiquanhe Town in Ngari had been reduced to this—a simplification that felt almost surreal. It was as if she had traversed a time tunnel, standing at a juncture between future and past, the long intervening years suddenly turning hazy and elusive.
It was peak tourist season in Tibet. A tour group on her flight, already exuberant onboard, grew even more animated upon landing. As the guide and local coordinator counted heads, the scene buzzed with excitement. Zuo Si'an collected her luggage and stood apart, gazing blankly around, momentarily unsure of where she was or even who she was. This, she thought, couldn't be explained by altitude sickness alone.
"Xiao An."
She turned toward the voice. A middle-aged man in a gray suit and white shirt stood a few meters away, removing his sunglasses to peer at her uncertainly. There was no need for close scrutiny—it was Zuo Xuejun. As if sleepwalking, Zuo Si'an approached him, stopping two steps away, and uttered, "Dad."
Their last meeting had been nearly 13 years earlier, when Zuo Xuejun returned to Hanjiang to finalize his divorce. Soon after, Zuo Si'an moved abroad with her mother, and over the years, their phone calls had been few and far between. She had grown from a girl into a woman, while he bore little resemblance to the vibrant man she remembered. Though only 55, years in the harsh high-altitude environment had left his skin dark and deeply lined, his temples streaked with gray, his movements sluggish, and his back slightly stooped—early signs of aging.
Since deciding to visit, Zuo Si'an had repeatedly imagined this reunion, her heart filled with unspoken anxiety. But facing him now, she acutely felt the chasm of time between them. Blood ties mingled with the strangeness of long separation, and she knew she could never again rush into his arms as she had during her first childhood trip to Tibet, boldly demanding a warm embrace.
Their eyes couldn't linger on each other for long. They smiled almost simultaneously, then looked away.
"Have you been waiting long?"
He took her rolling suitcase. "No, the flight was only 20 minutes late today."
"That's good."
He led her out of the airport to a car and drove toward Shiquanhe Town, making small talk along the way: "Any discomfort?"
"A little, but I took medicine for altitude sickness and acclimated a day early, so it's manageable."
"Town is only 50 kilometers from here. We'll arrive soon."
"Oh, the road is well-built."
"Look, wild ducks flying over there."
Following her father's gesture, Zuo Si'an saw snow-capped peaks encircling a distant, bluish-purple lake under a clear sky, where several waterfowl danced gracefully above the water.
"This season is truly beautiful.""Tomorrow I can take you to Lake Pangong. There's a famous bird island there that gathers countless migratory birds every June and July - it's quite spectacular. There should still be some migratory birds now, though they'll soon be flying away for winter."
"No need. You have work, no need to take time off specifically for me."
"I'm about to retire and have basically completed my work handover, so my time is quite flexible."
Zuo Si'an looked somewhat stunned: "Retiring so early?"
"Yes, national policy allows retirement after working 15 years in high-altitude areas. Many people retire in their 40s - I'm actually working beyond the retirement age."
"Oh." After hesitating, she asked, "Where will you live after retirement?"
Zuo Xuejun smiled: "I'm used to life here. After retiring, I plan to teach some courses at the school that I'm capable of handling, and write a book about Ngari's folk customs."
"As long as you're happy."
"And you?" He hesitated before asking, "How has life been abroad?"
"Fine." To such a vague question, she could only give a brief response.
He changed the subject: "I don't know if you're interested in archaeology, but I could also take you to see the archaeological excavation site of the Zhangzhung civilization."
"I'm only staying for two days, I'm afraid there won't be enough time."
"Two days?" Zuo Xuejun unconsciously raised his voice.
"Yes, my vacation time is limited, and I've already bought my return ticket. Dad, please take me to the hotel first to drop off my luggage."
Zuo Xuejun was stunned again and said carefully: "Xiao An, Aunt Shi has already prepared a room for you. There's no need to stay at a hotel."
The Aunt Shi he mentioned was Shi Wei, who had entered Tibet with Lao Zhang 15 years ago, meeting up with Gao Xiang, Sun Ruodi, and Zuo Si'an before entering Ngari. She returned to Coqên in Ngari 12 years ago for volunteer teaching, stayed ever since, married Zuo Xuejun 8 years ago, and gave birth to a daughter named Zuo Siqi five years ago.
Zuo Si'an smiled as naturally as possible and explained: "I'm used to living alone. I already asked a travel agency to book a room before coming, so I won't trouble you."
Zuo Xuejun fell silent, and neither of them spoke again until they reached the town. He first took her to the hotel as she requested, then went to his home.
The Zuo family lived on the second floor of a three-story dormitory building. The house was spacious and comfortable with bright, clean windows. Beautiful wool tapestries hung on the walls, and various Tibetan-style handicrafts were displayed. Shi Wei warmly welcomed Zuo Si'an's arrival. She was in her early 40s with weathered skin, but her demeanor was gentle, and her eyes remained as clear and bright as before, giving people an immediate sense of familiarity.
Shi Wei's young daughter Zuo Siqi stood beside her. Only five years old with a bob haircut, her round face still slightly chubby with baby fat, her clever eyes moved curiously as she examined Zuo Si'an. Shi Wei said with a smile: "Xiao Qi, didn't I tell you? Hurry up and call her sister."
Zuo Siqi obediently said: "Hello, sister."
"Hello, Xiao Qi. I'm Zuo Si'an."
She shook Zuo Si'an's extended hand with great seriousness: "Mom said you live in Baltimore, America - that's very far away, right?"
"Yes, Baltimore is near Washington D.C., the American capital. It takes 17 hours to fly from Washington to Beijing."Zuo Siqi actually had little concept of time and space, but she seemed satisfied with the detailed answer from the unfamiliar older sister and began playing with the cartoon toys and storybooks Zuo Si'an had given her.
Watching her, Zuo Si'an said to Shi Wei, "Xiao Qi is really adorable."
Like all mothers, Shi Wei smiled sincerely upon hearing praise for her child: "She's just very mischievous and talks nonstop. By the way, where's your luggage?"
"I've already left it at the hotel."
Shi Wei was also taken aback, but she didn't press further and quickly changed the subject: "Did you feel uncomfortable flying directly here this time?"
"It was alright. It just feels a bit strange—my impression of this place was always barren Gobi, windblown sand, and low houses. But coming from the airport today, everything felt so unfamiliar, as if I'd never been here before."
"In recent years, Shiquanhe Town has strengthened its greening efforts. The replanted tamarisks have slowly grown, and the sandstorms are much less severe than before. Plus, the town's population has increased rapidly, and there are many more buildings now. Here, have a cup of hot tea. I've prepared all the dishes. Your father went to pick up a freshly slaughtered lamb from someone, and he'll be back soon. This lamb is a local specialty—the meat is particularly delicious and can't be found anywhere else."
"Really, there's no need to treat me like a guest."
"Your father has been especially excited these past few days; even Xiao Qi noticed it."
Hearing her name mentioned, Zuo Siqi quickly nodded repeatedly and said, "Daddy told me that Sister was a carnivore when she was little and loved eating grilled lamb skewers from the street stalls. Mom, I'm a carnivore too, right?"
Shi Wei chuckled: "Yes, yes, you are too." She turned to Zuo Si'an and said, "Xiao Qi also loves meat. People on the plateau have big appetites. Wait till you see how she eats—you'll definitely laugh."
When Zuo Xuejun brought back the lamb, Shi Wei went to cook, and he went in to assist her. They looked like a well-matched couple, their every move displaying the tacit understanding formed from long-term coexistence. A table full of dishes was quickly prepared—rich and thoughtfully arranged, and quite delicious—but Zuo Si'an had a bit of a headache and didn't eat much.
After the meal, she suggested going back to the hotel to rest, but unexpectedly, Shi Wei said directly: "Xiao An, I've already tidied up the guest room. You can rest here for a while and go back to the hotel in the evening—it's the same."
She couldn't refuse again and had to enter the clean and comfortable guest room. She could hear Xiao Qi in the living room bargaining with her mother: "I don't want to go to kindergarten! Can't I just stay home and play with Sister this afternoon?"
"No. I brought you back so you could meet your sister. She came from very far away and is tired; she needs to rest."
"Then I'll play with you."
"Mom still needs to prepare lessons. Be good, quickly change your shoes. Daddy will take you to kindergarten."
"But I don't want to! When I go, the teacher will make me take a nap, and I'm not sleepy at all. I don't want to sleep..."
"Xiao Qi, change your shoes."
With Zuo Xuejun's gentle voice, Zuo Siqi actually stopped acting spoiled, obediently changed her shoes, and went out with him. Zuo Si'an walked to the window just in time to see Zuo Xuejun holding Zuo Siqi's hand as they emerged from the building. Zuo Siqi tilted her head back vigorously and said something, to which Zuo Xuejun bent down to reply, and the two slowly walked away.
This scene struck her eyes, and suddenly it was as if she saw her childhood self. Time and space seemed to warp before her once again, and she instinctively grabbed the curtains.This was different. Zuo Xuejun's back was no longer straight, and little Zuo Siqi walked with unusual discipline, his short legs keeping pace with his father. Unlike when she used to attend kindergarten—when she would inevitably find some excuse to act up after just a few steps, leaping onto her father’s back and demanding to be carried—and he had always happily obliged… Her breath suddenly grew labored, her eyes stung, as if unable to endure prolonged exposure to such brilliant light.
2_
“Xiao An, have a cup of hot tea to cut through the greasiness.”
Shi Wei knocked lightly on the door and entered with tea. Zuo Si’an tried hard to compose herself. “Thank you, Aunt Shi.”
“You used to call me Sister Shi Wei. Ah, in the blink of an eye, over ten years have passed.”
“You still look very young. But I have to call you Aunt now, otherwise the family hierarchy would be too confusing.”
“That’s true.”
Just as Zuo Si’an was about to excuse herself with a headache, Shi Wei had already pulled up a chair and sat down. “Xiao An, I asked your father to take Xiao Qi home so I could have a proper talk with you.”
She had no choice but to smile. “Alright.”
“How have you been all these years abroad? Is Baltimore a lively city?”
“It’s fine. Baltimore is the largest city in Maryland, with nearly 800,000 residents. It’s quite lively.”
“That’s good. Tomorrow, let your father take some time off and drive you around properly. Since he was transferred back to the administrative office three years ago, he’s been immersing himself in the study of Ngari folklore—he’s practically an expert on Ngari now.”
“There’s no need, Aunt Shi. I already told Dad—I’m only staying for two days and don’t want to go too far.”
“Why are you in such a hurry to go back?”
“My vacation is only this long. There will be other chances in the future.”
Shi Wei hesitated. “Xiao An, do you have any objections to me marrying your father?”
“Aunt Shi, why would you think that?”
“Over the years, you and your father have barely been in touch. I’ve always wanted a chance to explain to you—I truly didn’t ruin your parents’ marriage. Back then, I chose to teach in Coqên partly because I was tired of city life, and partly because I was deeply moved by the schools and students there. I wanted to do what little I could for them while finding some peace of mind. I fell in love with your father only after he was divorced. And for a long time, he avoided me and refused to accept my feelings. Even if you’re angry with me, please don’t hold it against him, alright?”
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