"He's gone. Your grandfather asked her to stay for dinner, but she refused no matter what."
He had nothing to say.
"If the child is sick, it can only be treated gradually. Tell your mother not to worry. If there's any misunderstanding between you and your girlfriend, you'd better explain it to her as soon as possible."
Gao Xiang called Sun Ruodi's phone, but it was already turned off. He could only sit down wearily. The hospital corridor was empty and deserted, with only an occasional nurse passing by. Looking at his mother's haggard, tense face, he didn't know how to comfort her. He had once thought that after the child was born, everyone would be free. Now it seemed this thought was ridiculously wishful thinking.
☆、21
Chapter Five 2012, Hanjiang
Zhu Xiaoyan had always believed that the nights in bustling downtown areas were even more noisy and restless than the daytime. Even living in a high-rise apartment, she could feel the endless stream of traffic on the streets below, the dazzling and confusing neon lights, the crowds swarming through intersections, and the noisy music coming from shops... Having lived in this environment for many years, she had long grown accustomed to it. But these past two days, she had been feeling somewhat restless and unable to calm herself down.
She checked her phone again—nearly eight o'clock. She dialed Gao Xiang's number, and after two rings, he answered. Using the calmest and most natural voice she could muster, she asked, "Hello, where are you now?"
Before he could answer, the sound of a bus announcing stops came through the receiver: "Next stop Shenyang Road, passengers please move toward the rear door."
In the nearly one year she had been dating Gao Xiang, she had never seen him take a bus. She couldn't help being surprised. "Are you on a bus?"
Gao Xiang seemed somewhat distracted and only responded with "Hmm."
She couldn't help but press further: "Why are you taking a bus?"
"It's not a bus, it's a Tram."
This could hardly be considered an answer. Her suspicions grew stronger. "What's going on, Gao Xiang?"
"You're at home, right? I'm coming over now."
After hanging up, Zhu Xiaoyan subconsciously went into the bedroom to change clothes. She picked out a dark green silk shirt dress that complemented her fair skin tone, but it reached her calves and required high heels to appear tall and elegant. Wearing this at home seemed too formal and deliberate, so she instead chose a thin knit top with gray athletic pants. After changing, she fixed her hair in the mirror, suddenly feeling a pang of sadness.
Going to such lengths to receive her boyfriend at home—her inner insecurity had reached a point where she could hardly face it.
She didn't want to dwell on it and hurried out to tidy the room. She loved interior decoration and had kept her small apartment very comfortable and tasteful. Gao Xiang had praised this when he first visited her home, and she had always taken pride in it.
She organized the scattered magazines, turned on the stereo, selected a Lisa Ono CD to play, adjusted the volume to barely audible, trimmed the slightly wilted petals from the lilies in the crystal vase on the table that had been there for two days, rearranged their shape, and then went into the kitchen to brew coffee.Gao Xiang loved drinking coffee so much that he even took over the Green Door café. He gave it a simple renovation, serving only coffee and freshly baked pastries without expansion, promotion, or marketing. It had earned a good reputation among regular customers. Zhu Xiao Yan had to admit that when he brought her to that café, she was genuinely moved, feeling that this seemingly overly rational, mature, and hard-to-read man also had an emotional side. At this thought, she felt slightly dazed, unsure whether this judgment stemmed from her imagination or rational consideration.
The doorbell rang just as the coffee finished brewing. Zhu Xiao Yan invited Gao Xiang in, served the coffee, and left it unsweetened, as per his habit.
"You look quite tired."
"A little."
"Have you finished your business in Qinggang?"
"Yes, it's done."
She said in a half-joking tone, "What made you think of taking the Tram? Nostalgia? I bet you didn’t even know the fare."
"You got me. Luckily, after paying for the coffee, I got two coins as change, or I would’ve really embarrassed myself."
"When was the last time you took a bus?"
He thought for a moment and smiled, "Probably back in college. Xiao Yan, I want to have a serious talk with you."
She looked at him. The seriousness in his eyes made her even more uneasy. Suddenly, she wanted to change the subject and said lightly, "Your mother called me tonight. She said her birthday is next week and invited me to dinner at your place. I didn’t realize her birthday is so close to mine. What do you think I should get her as a gift? I’ve been thinking, but nothing seems quite right."
He knew his mother had called Zhu Xiao Yan at this time with ulterior motives and smiled wryly. "Xiao Yan, that’s exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. I’ve told you before, I’m not an ideal candidate for marriage."
Zhu Xiao Yan froze, staring intently at him. "What do you mean?"
"I can’t waste any more of your time. Let’s break up."
Zhu Xiao Yan’s face instantly turned pale. "So my suspicions weren’t unfounded. That Zuo Si’an is your ex-girlfriend, and she’s back to rekindle things with you."
"No, she didn’t come back for that…"
"Gao Xiang, I’m not a fool. A year ago, your mother arranged for us to meet. You only came to see me to placate her. At first, you did say you didn’t want to get married, but later you agreed to give dating a try. You even acknowledged me as your girlfriend and took me to dinner with your son last month. I got the impression that you weren’t as opposed to marriage as you initially claimed. The moment Zuo Si’an shows up, you want to break up. I don’t need to use my brain cells to figure out what’s going on, do I?"
Gao Xiang couldn’t answer that accusation.
"It’s ridiculous that she even lied to my face, saying she went abroad over a decade ago and hadn’t seen you in over ten years."
"She wasn’t lying. She really went abroad thirteen years ago. I haven’t seen her in eleven years."
Zhu Xiao Yan was both shocked and furious. "Eleven years? How old was she back then? At most 14 or 15, right? Gao Xiang, are you a pedophile?"Gao Xiang's eyes abruptly darkened, a flicker of anger passing through them. Zhu Xiao Yan froze instantly. Having known Gao Xiang for so long, she had never seen him lose his temper. No matter what happened, he always maintained a calm and effortless demeanor. Seeing him actually change expression startled her inwardly. However, Gao Xiang almost immediately regained control of his emotions, set down his coffee cup, and kept his tone gentle: "She's a year older than you, thirty this year. She was seventeen when she went abroad, but that's not the point. Xiao Yan, you're still young. You have the right to a marriage built on love; you don't need to settle for me."
"Settle?" Zhu Xiao Yan was equally stung and burst into loud laughter. "Your choice of words is truly elegant and considerate. The moment I turned twenty-eight, I became what my family and friends call a 'leftover woman.' I'm neither exceptionally beautiful nor particularly talented. Suddenly dating a successful man like you, everyone thinks I've stumbled upon incredible luck. And you're so polite as to say I'm 'settling' for you."
"I'm not being polite. I'm ten years older than you and have a son. I'm grateful you don't hold that against me. You're beautiful, intelligent, well-mannered, and considerate toward others. But..."
"But you don't love me."
Gao Xiang knew further words would be futile and fell silent.
"When I first met you, I only saw you as a worthwhile marriage prospect. But as we spent time together, I... fell in love with you, Gao Xiang. Otherwise, I wouldn't have invested so much effort in you."
"I'm sorry, Xiao Yan."
Zhu Xiao Yan's voice began to tremble slightly: "Then do you love her? Could you love a girl who wasn't even an adult for so many years? Refusing to marry for her sake, and the moment she reappears, you realize you've never loved anyone else and never could?"
Gao Xiang had no intention of defending himself: "Xiao Yan, digging into my past serves no purpose."
"But since we've reached the point of breaking up, we might as well be clear about things, so there's no lingering resentment or confusion."
"I do owe you an explanation, but not everything can be neatly laid out point by point."
Zhu Xiao Yan sneered: "Try me. I like to think my comprehension isn't lacking."
Gao Xiang paused thoughtfully: "Xiao Yan, have you ever loved someone so deeply that you'd give up everything for them?"
Zhu Xiao Yan stared wide-eyed, unable to believe such emotionally charged words came from Gao Xiang. Yet he remained composed: "I'll be honest—I have. And I believe everyone experiences a time of losing themselves, however brief or long."
"So you've decided to reclaim your true love?"
Gao Xiang smiled bitterly: "It's not what you think. She has her own life now."
"I really am asking for pain. Just seeing an old flame has made you feel you can't be with me anymore."
"Xiao Yan, I was actually planning to propose to you. But you certainly wouldn't like my reasons. I simply thought two adults getting along well—you'd make an excellent wife, and together we could provide a more normal, complete upbringing for my son."
Zhu Xiao Yan stared at him blankly, unsure whether she had received some form of consolation or a deeper insult."But after meeting her, I suddenly realized you're still young, with expectations for love and the right to have more. I can't fulfill your needs in this regard, and it's deeply unfair to you. I'm sorry, Xiao Yan. I wish I could make it up to you."
Her anger flared up again: "Make it up with what? Money? Of course, you have plenty of money, so you've always looked down on me, thinking I'm only with you for your wealth."
"I've never looked down on you. If we didn't enjoy each other's company, we wouldn't have wasted our time together. I'm sorry for making you spend a year like this. If we continue, I'd never forgive myself."
Zhu Xiao Yan stared at him blankly. She thought, he hadn't deceived her, and her intuition hadn't betrayed her from the very beginning. A man with such good qualifications remaining unmarried at thirty-seven or thirty-eight always had his reasons. She had decided to gamble, and when he took her to meet Gao Fei, she thought she'd won the bet. But until the very end, who dares claim victory?
After a long while, she finally said slowly: "So, you came specifically to break up with me."
"I'm sorry."
She smiled bitterly, "This kind of apology is meaningless. Just go."
☆、22
V
When Gao Xiang returned home, Chen Zi Hui was sitting on the sofa watching TV, but clearly restless. She stood up immediately upon seeing him and asked again in a hushed voice: "Is she really gone?"
He nodded, and only then did she relax, "Thank heavens." Then she started complaining, "She promised never to come back, yet she sneaks back without a word. Who knows what she's plotting. I said back then we could never trust her. I hope she doesn't come up with any new tricks."
Gao Xiang didn't want to listen further, "Where's Xiao Fei?"
"In his room doing homework. He's been sulking since coming back from the movie. I made his favorite braised pork ribs with cuttlefish for dinner, but he barely ate any."
He nodded and went upstairs to Gao Fei's room. Gao Fei's homework was spread across the desk, but the boy was lying on the bed, hands behind his head, staring blankly at the ceiling.
He sat down by the bedside, "How was the movie, kiddo?"
Gao Fei said listlessly: "Not good. They're all robots, but they fight with fists like it's the cold weapon era. Pretty boring."
Gao Xiang sighed, "Last year you'd still ask me to take you whenever new movies came out. I'm afraid Dad will soon be cast aside, with no more chances to watch movies with you."
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