Yu Jia trembled with barely suppressed anger. "That's right, I'm not a good mother. I haven't fulfilled my responsibilities. But what about you? Are you a good father? Think about what you've done all this time. You think you're righteous and honorable, refusing to make deals with anyone, unwilling to consider your daughter's interests, escalating the situation without regard for the consequences—that's what drove our daughter to this point."
This sharp accusation contorted Zuo Xuejun's face. Zuo Si'an broke free from Yu Jia and cried out sharply, "Mom, stop it." She clung to her father's tightly clenched fist, looking up at him with a tear-streaked face, pleading, "Dad, don't fight with Mom. It's not her fault—I forced her to do this. It'll be over soon, and we can go home."
Zuo Xuejun glanced at his daughter, then immediately turned his head away, his face ashen, chest heaving, utterly speechless. Upstairs, some windows opened, and people peered out curiously. Zuo Si'an released her father and turned decisively. "Mom, let's go."
Gao Xiang started the car and drove away from the dormitory. The atmosphere inside was unbearably tense. Wang Yujiao, sitting in the passenger seat, attempted to break the silence. "Xiao An, are you alright?"
Zuo Si'an looked at her blankly but didn't respond.
"If you feel any discomfort in your stomach, you must speak up. When I was pregnant before Xiao Chao, I had a fall and miscarried, hemorrhaged badly. Luckily, my sister-in-law was home and saved me. It was pure agony..."
Yu Jia, agitated, interrupted her. "Sister Wang, that's enough." Still worried, she reached to feel her daughter's forehead. "Xiao An, maybe we should go to the hospital for a check-up first."
"No," Zuo Si'an turned her head away, avoiding the touch. "I'm fine."
Gao Xiang had no desire to talk. Apart from giving directions, Wang Yujiao fell silent. Yu Jia and Zuo Si'an sat in the back, both unusually quiet. Beyond the mother asking if her daughter wanted water—to which the daughter shook her head—they didn't exchange another word. Yu Jia, lost in thought, stared vacantly ahead, while Zuo Si'an huddled by the window on the left, gazing outside, showing no intimacy or communication with her mother.
Leaving Qinggang County, they traveled along a two-lane county road. After about 40 kilometers, following Wang Yujiao's directions, Gao Xiang turned off the main road onto a narrow, bumpy dirt path leading into Liu Wan. He was grateful he'd brought an SUV. He parked in the only level clearing by the pond, grabbed the luggage, and followed them toward the Liu family home. Along the way, small groups of onlookers emerged. Just as Wang Yujiao had said, there were hardly any young or middle-aged men—mostly the elderly, weak, women, and children, most surnamed Liu, all distantly or closely related. They greeted Wang Yujiao while stealing glances at Gao Xiang, Yu Jia, and Zuo Si'an.
Back in her village, Wang Yujiao immediately became more at ease, chatting with them casually.
"Some relatives from the city are here."
"I have to head back soon; I can't leave things in Qinggang unattended."
"Probably won't be back until the New Year."
"Xiao Chao's grades are excellent—he ranked first in his class again, second in the whole grade. He even won first prize in the provincial math competition."
...Gao Xiang noticed Yu Jia seemed distracted, her steps hesitant as she trailed behind, while Zuo Si'an closely followed Wang Yujiao, head bowed low and shoulders slightly hunched, as if trying to shrink from everyone's gaze. Unable to hold back any longer, he slowed his pace and waited for Yu Jia to approach before whispering to her, "Ms. Yu, please comfort your daughter."
Yu Jia snapped out of her daze, looked around, and lost her usual composure, tears suddenly welling in her eyes. "I shouldn't have agreed to leave my daughter here, but what else could I do?"
Gao Xiang had no answer, only saying, "Ms. Yu, two months will pass quickly."
"And then? Then everyone can start over?" Her expression was bleak. "Before we left, I said that to my daughter. She looked at me with such intensity that I stumbled over my words, unable to even convince myself."
"I promise to take good care of her and return her to you."
Aunt Mei was already standing at her doorstep. At that time, she was only in her forties, of average height, with short hair tucked behind her ears and simple clothing, no different from the other villagers. However, she invited them in with ease, speaking confidently and moving briskly, without the restraint typical of rural women. Her attitude toward Zuo Si'an was entirely natural: she asked her to sit, roll up her sleeve to check her blood pressure, and advised her to remove a layer in the warmer afternoon. Then she brought out freshly made osmanthus brown rice cakes for them to try. Zuo Si'an seemed to relax slightly, murmuring, "It smells wonderful."
A little girl peeked out from behind Aunt Mei. "I picked all these osmanthus flowers from the tree in our yard."
"Say hello to Sister Xiao An."
Aunt Mei introduced her with a smile, "Xiao An, this is my daughter Jingjing. She's three years younger than you."
Seeing a girl close to her age, Zuo Si'an seemed startled but also relieved, lowering her head to eat small, careful bites. After finishing, Aunt Mei led her to rest in the right side room. She obeyed without even glancing at Yu Jia.
Yu Jia hadn't touched the cake in front of her, her eyes brimming with tears she struggled to hold back.
"Please don't let strangers disturb her or treat her like some spectacle," Yu Jia pleaded, looking at Aunt Mei. "She can't stand curious stares."
"Don't worry. Village life is quiet. Anyone having visitors will stir some talk, but it's just talk—they mean no harm. Besides, early marriage is common here. I've delivered babies for many girls aged fifteen or sixteen. They won't find early childbirth too unusual."
Yu Jia's face twisted slightly, clearly not comforted.
"Even if my sister-in-law hadn't earnestly asked me, I'm a mother too, with a daughter of my own. I understand how you feel. I'll take good care of her."
Yu Jia said softly, "Thank you, Sister Mei. Xiao An just had a checkup, and her condition is stable. I'll try to visit weekly. If anything happens, please call us immediately."
Gao Xiang added, "I'll come often too. My mobile number is written below, and I'll keep it on 24/7."
Aunt Mei nodded in agreement.
☆、15
FourJingjing's given name was Liu Yujing, a lively and intelligent 11-year-old girl in fifth grade at the local elementary school. She showed great interest in the books Yu Jia had packed for Zuo Si'an, flipping through them while asking questions, to which Zuo Si'an responded mechanically.
"What is Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea about?"
"It's a science fiction novel written by a French author."
"How about Captain Grant's Children?"
"Also by the same French writer."
"Xiao An, is this Alice's Adventures in Wonderland good? What's it about?"
"I haven't finished it yet. It's about a girl named Alice who falls into a rabbit hole and encounters many strange things..."
She trailed off, looking around blankly, suddenly feeling as if she had also fallen into some rabbit hole, where everything she experienced seemed so absurd and terrifying. The afternoon she had been unwilling to recall suddenly surged into her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly but couldn't stop the chaotic images from flashing before her.
"...Xiao An, Xiao An."
She opened her eyes to see Jingjing looking at her with concern. "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing."
For Zuo Si'an, convincing herself that she was fine was nearly an impossible task.
However, Aunt Mei seemed naturally endowed with a maternal instinct to soothe fears and bring order to daily life. At seventeen, she had been an innocent high school student from a big city who came here during the wave of educated youth being sent to the countryside. She learned to perform various unfamiliar and arduous farm tasks, her fingers and shoulders soon developing thick calluses. After repeated disappointments of failed attempts to return to the city, she married an honest farmer and was held up as a model for settling in the countryside. The various honors she received couldn't compensate for the hardships of life. As her former classmates left one by one, she gave birth to a son and a daughter. Over time, the honors faded with the changing era, and she became a rural doctor, earning the respect of the villagers and eventually integrating into the local community.
Initially, Zuo Si'an was wary of Aunt Mei. But Aunt Mei made no effort to quickly close the distance between them. Instead, she respected Zuo Si'an's aloofness and withdrawal, neither treading as carefully as Yu Jia for fear of hurting her, nor expressing sympathy as tirelessly as Wang Yujiao while unconsciously revealing curiosity. The concern she showed Zuo Si'an was no different from how she treated her own daughter, without any sense of unnaturalness.
And Jingjing, just as Liu Guanchao had said, was a cheerful and adorable girl, full of curiosity about the outside world. Zuo Si'an found it impossible to resist her friendliness.
Neither member of this family treated Zuo Si'an with any special attitude. Every morning, Aunt Mei would wake both Zuo Si'an and Jingjing, arrange breakfast for them, and send Jingjing off to walk nearly fifty minutes alone to the town's elementary school. If there were no house calls or patients visiting, she would work in the family's vegetable garden. On fine days, she would take Zuo Si'an along, chatting with her while watering and fertilizing the plants, teaching her to identify the crops.
In the afternoon, after Jingjing returned from school, she would do homework, chat, and listen to the radio with Zuo Si'an. By ten o'clock, they would turn off the lights and go to bed on time.Aunt Mei’s home was frequently visited by villagers seeking medical help. Initially, Zuo Si’an mostly confined herself to the east side room, but she gradually noticed that although the villagers would glance at her curiously, their curiosity carried no malice. They seemed easily astonished by minor details, yet possessed a subtle understanding and respect for other matters. They quickly adapted to the presence of an additional girl in Aunt Mei’s household and never indulged in repeated speculation or gossip.
Even though Zuo Si’an remained deeply melancholic, she unconsciously fell into the rhythm of life there. She was highly sensitive to her surroundings and the shifts in others’ moods, often detecting subtle changes without even looking up. Here, her identity was that of a respected guest, no longer “the troubled daughter of the deputy county head from the provincial capital.” Realizing this, she breathed a sigh of relief and unwittingly relaxed a great deal.
Gao Xiang arrived punctually on the weekend a few days later. He seemed to understand Zuo Si’an’s reluctance to engage in close contact, always standing a few steps away from her. Whether he reminded her that the lighting in the side room was insufficient and suggested she move to the courtyard to read, or asked if there were any books she wanted to read or snacks she craved that he could bring next time, she remained unresponsive. Despite being rebuffed, he showed no irritation, maintaining a calm and composed demeanor throughout.
Jingjing, on the other hand, quickly warmed up to him and pleaded, “Uncle Gao, could you bring me the latest issue of Fairy Tale King? I want to read the serialized story in it. The copy our school ordered went missing, and no one knows who took it.”
He agreed, and a week later, he indeed brought not only the Fairy Tale King Jingjing had requested but also a large stack of other books.
To Zuo Si’an, no matter how cheerfully Jingjing chatted and laughed with him, Gao Xiang remained a stranger she had no need to acknowledge. She treated his visits as if they were invisible, but her mother’s visit was not so easily ignored.
Yu Jia, burdened with a backlog of work, only managed to visit her daughter a week later, taking two bus transfers from the provincial capital. However, when Zuo Si’an saw her mother enter alone, she showed no sign of delight. “Where’s Dad?”
“He’s very busy. I came directly from the provincial capital. Xiao An, look, I brought you…”
Her eyes dimmed, and she pulled her hand away from Yu Jia’s grasp, retreating to her room without even glancing at the gifts. She knew her mother was heartbroken, but on one hand, she couldn’t bear the sight of her mother’s forced cheerfulness and determination, which was perpetually tinged with sorrow and worry—a gaze that pained her more than anyone’s curiosity. On the other hand, she found the near-ruptured state of her parents’ relationship even more unbearable.
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