Sea of No Return

Wаnwаn hаd been fееling unusuаllу drоwsy latelу, sо by the timе she wokе, hе hаd аlrеаdy left.

Тhe bedding on the southern kаng hаd beеn tidied аwау, lеaving nо trасе оf his ovеrnight stay. She sаt blаnkly оn the bed, her hеart feеling hollow. Тоng Нuаn еntеrеd to assist hеr with wаshing up, but Wаnwаn sеemеd distraсtеd.

"When did he lеаve?"

Тong Huan rеplied, "Hе lеft nеarlу two hours agо, whilе it wаs still dark. Не рrоbаblу didn’t want tо disturb уou, sо he didn’t sаy goоdbyе. Тhrоugh the Wаtеr Саltrop Flowеr Door, I saw him standing by уour bedside fоr a long timе, as if hе сouldn’t bеar to part with you... Truly, the Prince cares deeply for you, but the weight on his shoulders is heavy, and he has no choice but to let you down."

She listened silently, remaining quiet for a long while. Getting out of bed, she walked to the kang and reached out to touch the cushion embroidered with the Fortune and Longevity Pattern, murmuring sadly, "He has no choice but to let me down... If there were no nation or empire standing between us, we could have been happier than most couples."

Perhaps it was for the best—avoiding a farewell spared her the awkwardness. He likely knew that going into battle meant attacking her maternal family, and a parting would have been fraught with tension. Rather than endure a silent farewell, it was easier to slip away without a word.

Since the tide of events could no longer be turned, she grew more concerned about Jinshi’s situation. "Do you think the Thousand Household Commander will reach the capital safely? Could he encounter any ambushes along the way?"

Tong Huan assured her he would not. "Steward Yu watched him ride far into the distance. As long as no one around the residence noticed, he should be able to leave the Jinling region safely. There was a three-hour gap between his departure and the Prince’s departure. If anything had happened to him, word would have reached the Prince by now." She sighed deeply. "I never imagined that Commander Jin would prove to be such a man of unyielding integrity. Cutting into his own flesh—how painful that must have been! And then, upon reaching the capital, having to reopen the wound to retrieve what was hidden inside... How many people in this world could endure such agony?"

Wanwan, unaware of the details, pressed for the full story. Tong Huan recounted how Jinshi had injured himself and what he had said: "Times of crisis truly test a person’s character—whether they are a treacherous villain or a loyal hero like Lord Guan. I used to think all the Silk-clad Guards were untrustworthy, but I never expected there to be such a righteous and courageous warrior among them. Those who remain in our residence are all exceptional. With them guarding you, you have nothing to fear."

Wanwan understood Tong Huan’s meaning. With Liangshi gone, there was no one left to truly shield her from the storm. As a princess in a crumbling empire, her presence might only hinder him. If someone with authority were to step forward and order her execution now, her life would be in grave danger. Thus, she had to rely on those who remained—their unwavering integrity upheld the entire Eldest Princess Residence. Even in the face of peril, she still had a chance to survive. When a great house is on the verge of collapse, even husband and wife may look out for themselves first. Yet these individuals, with their meager salaries, remained steadfast and loyal. Truly, as the saying goes, "Loyalty often comes from humble folk, while betrayal is often found among the learned."

Slumping into an armchair, she leaned weakly to one side and said with a hint of relief, "At least the Deployment Map has been sent out. That is all I can do for Great Ye. If Heaven does not abandon our Great Ye, may The Emperor strive diligently to restore its former glory and create a prosperous era once more, so that my painstaking efforts today will not have been in vain."But if the Southern Garden were to fall, Liangshi would also be gone. Who would then accompany her in reciting poetry, admiring the moon, enjoying lotus blossoms, or playing the flute? So her life was destined to be lonely, with her closest people leaving one by one, leaving her alone in the world—in the end, it would all be meaningless. Thinking this way, she began to feel somewhat weary of life.

Tong Huan naturally tried to comfort her: "Your Highness has done everything possible. Regardless of the outcome, you have nothing to be ashamed of before your ancestors or the common people. If Great Ye can endure, your achievements will be recorded in history, celebrated for generations to come."

She smiled faintly and shook her head. "I don’t care about such empty fame. No matter how remarkable it may be, I am still just a woman with a bitter fate. Throughout history, no dynasty has lasted forever. I simply feel that Great Ye can still be saved. Second Brother is very clever; if his talents are applied correctly, he is no less capable than Liangshi."

In any case, the Deployment Map she had sent out gave her great comfort. She believed that if The Emperor managed it properly, he should be able to resolve this crisis. But for the Yuwen Clan, she truly was not a good daughter-in-law. If Liangshi knew what she had done, she wondered how much he would hate her in the end.

The faint chirping of cicadas drifted in, at first like a thin thread, gradually growing into a chorus. Unnoticed, midsummer had arrived.

Wanwan moved to the octagonal pavilion in the east to enjoy the cool breeze. It was the highest point in the entire estate, with intricately carved doors on all eight sides that could be turned flexibly with the wind. She brought Dongli along and set up a large bamboo couch against the wall. Dongli had already started learning to crawl, and the spacious area allowed him to move around freely.

Somehow, though, Dongli had been listless these past few days. Soon after, he began to have diarrhea, which persisted for several days without any sign of stopping. An Imperial Physician was summoned to diagnose and prescribe the Supreme Treasure Bolus, but it was completely ineffective. Wanwan grew increasingly anxious, asking what else could be done. It was Nanny Li from the second gate who remarked, "Could it be that he’s been affected by something? The little one’s stool is greenish, like vegetable leaves. Back in my hometown, there’s a saying: if a pregnant woman holds a child, that child will surely have stomach troubles. Why not cut a piece of clothing to make a diaper for him? He’ll be better by tomorrow."

Everyone exchanged glances. Pregnant? Who?

Who else could it be? Among those present, there were either unmarried girls or elderly Nurse Matrons. The wet nurse had entered the estate and severed ties with her family, so she couldn’t be pregnant either. Looking around, only Wanwan remained. Everyone’s gaze settled on her, and her face turned pale. "How could such a thing happen!"

An Imperial Physician was summoned to take her pulse, and the result confirmed she was indeed pregnant. Sitting on the couch, she didn’t know whether to feel joy or sorrow. This child had come at such an inopportune time. Was it that the heavens felt she hadn’t suffered enough and were adding to her misery? She and Liangshi had already reached a point of irreconcilable conflict. Whom was this child meant to keep? Given all that had happened before, it was likely they could never reconcile again. A shattered vase remained shattered; even if pieced back together, the patches would be glaringly obvious. Could it ever be whole again?

She said, "Let’s not announce it for now. We’ll wait and see."

Calculating the time, it should have been just over three months. She had a slender figure, so even if she were pregnant, it wouldn’t be noticeable until after five months. She needed to think carefully about how to proceed from here.

Xiao You said, "We were just making up lies before, but who would have thought it would turn out to be true? This is just too coincidental."Wanwan shook her head, "Why now of all times!"

Tong Huan, however, tried to encourage her: "This is your blessing arriving, giving you a child to lift your spirits. The road ahead is still long."

She stared blankly at the cluster of blossoms atop the tree, her heart pounding wildly in her chest, causing the blood in her ears to surge like waves. Her limbs felt weak—this condition had persisted for quite some time, and she wondered if it was due to the pregnancy. She lay down and closed her eyes, preoccupied with the ongoing battles at the front. Even sleep eluded her, and she feared this child might be difficult to nurture.

Liangshi had been gone for over twenty days, and the palace guards outside the residence had relaxed slightly compared to before. Yu Xixia devised a plan, bribing the vegetable porter who came in daily to help gather information about the outside situation. The porter was fairly diligent, passing on bits of trivial news. However, being a farmer by origin, he couldn’t distinguish between what was important and what wasn’t. So, Yu Xixia instructed him to frequent teahouses and bird markets—places where all sorts of current affairs converged. With more idle people came more idle chatter, allowing him to pick up some valuable news.

Wanwan longed to hear of the Ye Army’s victories; even a single win could boost morale. But when Yu Xixia entered, he shook his head dejectedly, "Defeat. The battle at Shucheng resulted in heavy losses."

Two days later, he came in again, hesitantly reporting, "Strange... the line from Pingshu to Wen’an was left unguarded and was easily taken by the Qi People. Now the main army is camped at Waqiao, and the next step should be Guiyi."

Wanwan had been diligent in her studies since childhood, possessing a near-photographic memory for things she had seen. Maps she had traced by hand, she could essentially replicate from memory. Hearing Yu Xixia’s words, she hurriedly went to review the map, her fingers sliding along the red arrows. She found that neither Pingshu nor Wen’an were within the planned scope of attack and was momentarily stunned.

A sense of foreboding lingered. Afraid she would panic, Yu Xixia reassured her, "The tides of war change in an instant; commanders may adjust routes on the fly. This is only the beginning, Your Highness. Please remain calm and wait to see what follows."

She steadied herself and nodded, "Yes, let’s wait a little longer. Perhaps the Southern Garden army changed course upon seeing defenses elsewhere. Keep a close watch and report any new developments to me immediately."

While concerned about the situation, she couldn’t neglect nurturing her health. After all, the child was innocent; regardless of how much his Ama had sinned, it was still her own flesh and blood. The previous pregnancy had ended tragically, so this one must be brought safely into the world. How could her bond with her children be so fragile?

Waiting for news from outside was an anxious period, leaving her unable to bear even the slightest disturbance. Tong Huan advised her, "I think you should stop inquiring further. You’re carrying two lives now—can you really handle the worry? Focus on nurturing the young master. I’ll speak with Steward Yu and ask him not to report to you anymore. What good does knowing the outcome do? It’s beyond your reach, only causing yourself unnecessary distress."

Though the words made sense, how could she not care? Annoyed by the nagging, she told Tong Huan to leave her be. Sitting at the desk with a sweet dessert bowl in hand, she ate while studying the Deployment Map.Since they were stationed at Waqiao, closest to Guiyi, the next logical step would be to attack there. However, reality was often disheartening. Yu Xixia reported once more that the Southern Garden army had not headed for Guiyi but instead launched a direct assault on Ba County. The defending troops were caught off guard and fled, abandoning the city, which now fell entirely into the hands of the Southern Army.

Wanwan was so shocked she could not speak. The crimson battle line beneath her fingertips seemed to burn fiercely, as if scorching her skin. The map clearly indicated Guiyi—how could they have taken such a sharp turn toward Ba County? Could it be that their stationing at Waqiao was merely a diversion? If so, either Liangshi had altered the marching route, or the Deployment Map from that day was flawed...

Cold sweat drenched her back, her heart alternating between feverish heat and icy chills until she could barely stand. Could it all have been a ruse? Was it deliberately shown to her to mislead the imperial court? She felt a surge of blood clogging her throat, turning her face pale. After a long while, she let out a bitter laugh. "Evil may prevail for a time, but righteousness will always triumph in the end. How could I ever be a match for him?"

It was not pessimism on her part—the subsequent battles unfolded exactly as she had feared. Where they should have taken Xincheng, they attacked Qiu County; where they should have targeted Laishui, they struck Xuanzhou. In the end, she was utterly despondent, confined to her bed, unable to rise. Tong Huan cursed Yu Xixia furiously, "Are you trying to kill Your Highness with anger?"

Indeed, she felt as though she were dying of rage. She had been so thoroughly deceived—this was the man who shared her pillow, the husband who had vowed to love her for a lifetime! How could she resent him? They had both harbored ulterior motives from the start. She could only blame herself for being outmatched.

Lying on her back, her tears had long dried up, leaving her unable to weep any longer. The embroidered patterns on the canopy above seemed to transform into a sky full of stars. Her vision grew increasingly blurry; sometimes everything appeared dark and indistinct, interspersed with patches of mottled white, making her dizziness even more severe.

Yu Xixia no longer reported battle outcomes to her, likely because the news was no better. She had lost the desire to inquire, instinctively avoiding any news from outside. She wished only to lie there until death, never again concerning herself with worldly affairs.

Her eye condition was examined by the Imperial Physician, who concluded it was due to pent-up frustration and excessive grief. She took several doses of eye-brightening medicine, and even her pillow was stuffed with dried chrysanthemums and buckwheat husks, but aside from the turbulent nightmares in her sleep, there was no improvement.

Her heart had long sunk into the depths of despair; grief had reached its peak, and nothing else mattered. She said, "I feel as though I've aged... Come and see, have I grown any white hairs?"

Tong Huan watched helplessly as she withered away. After enduring so much, how could she possibly recover? The Prince of Nanyuan's counterplot had dealt her the most fatal blow. By using her copy to mislead The Emperor, she feared the imperial court was now filled with condemnation, and the public's opinion of her was likely no better than the curses shouted beyond the courtyard walls.

She dared not speak of such things, only urging her to think of the child in her womb. Wanwan smiled faintly, "Both my child and I share the same fate—too fragile for this world."

Her words were filled with despair, leaving Tong Huan and Xiao You trembling with fear.

"This cannot go on," Xiao You wiped away tears. "We must think of a way to save our mistress."Tong Huan looked at her with anguish. "What can we do? It takes the one who tied the bell to untie it. Can you make the Prince of Nanyuan withdraw his troops? Can you restore peace to this land? With the blade already at our necks, not moving forward means certain death. He can barely save himself—how could he care about Her Highness’s life?"

Indeed, before the throne, there are no husband and wife. You plot against me, and I will surely plot against you with even greater cunning. That Prince was deeply concealed, leaving without revealing any flaw. It was all in vain that the Princess Royal thought she had succeeded, all in vain that Jinshi tormented himself—they had merely become his amusement. The proud Princess had never suffered such humiliation. Lost dignity could not be reclaimed, and the State Altars she had strived to protect were withering away at an accelerating pace. In unbearable agony, she plunged headlong into a dead end, unable to escape. What method remained to prolong her life?

Tong Huan gazed beyond the wall. "We can only rely on Jinshi now. He said he would lead a breakout and rescue us..."

But when Jinshi returned, he had not brought the Silk-clad Guard with him. He knelt before Wanwan, head bowed, unable to face her.

Wanwan propped herself up and asked him, "Did you see The Emperor?"

Not only had he seen him, but he had nearly been thrown into the Imperial Prison. The Deployment Map he had sworn to deliver was a fake. He knew the Princess Royal could not have conspired with the Prince of Nanyuan—she must have fallen into his trap. Yet the entire imperial court saw it differently, from The Emperor down to every official, all accusing the Princess Royal of ingratitude and treachery, seducing her husband to steal the state. In such circumstances, gathering anyone to rescue her was utterly impossible. Fortunately, a brother had secretly warned him, or he would already be in custody.

How could he explain this to the Princess Royal? Her voice was frail, trembling to the heart. Clenching his teeth, he reported, "All available forces in the court have been dispatched to the military camps. There are truly no men to spare... Your Highness, do not worry. As long as we live, we will surely take you away from here."

She sank back onto her pillow. Whether she left or not, she truly did not care. The only thing she gleaned from his words was the court’s abandonment of her. Who could have imagined that after all her scheming, it would end like this? Now she was neither here nor there, filled with grievances and resentment, but to whom could she speak?

She waved her hand, her demeanor still graceful. "Thousand Household Commander, you must be weary from the journey. Are your injuries healed? Go and rest."

Jinshi hesitated, but seeing Tong Huan signaling to him, he rose and withdrew.

"At this point, we have no choice but to fight with all our might," Yu Xixia said as she saw him out, standing below the steps. "Please gather all the men you can, Commander Jin. I once secretly stored gunpowder. If necessary, we will fight to the death..."

Before she could finish, Xiao You’s sharp cry rang out. Both were startled and rushed inside to check. The figure on the bed was as faint as a wisp of smoke, yet a stream of dark blood trickled from the corner of her mouth, gradually staining the pure white collar and the sheer gauze on the pillow.