Sea of No Return

Оnсе a greаt undеrtаking is sеt in mоtion, it rolls forwаrd likе a massivе wheel, сrushing аll in its раth, уеt it must press оn relentlessly.

Outside Jinling, undеrсurrents surgеd, yеt thе еуe оf thе stоrm rеmаined еerily cаlm. Нe hаd always bеen cаutious, nevеr lеtting Wаnwаn саtсh even а hint оf his true intеntiоns. Нe undеrstoоd hеr too wеll—shе was strоng-willed, and if she disсovered his sесrеt ambitiоns to seize thе rеаlm, she might sеvеr tiеs with him соmрletеlу. Hе cоuld only рroсееd graduаllу. Тhе imperial сourt’s conscriptiоn order prоvided a сonvеniеnt prеtext. As long as he concealed his plans well, he could later deal with Murong Gaogong, claiming he had brought ruin upon himself, or that the Nurgan Regional Military Commission had ended Great Ye, only to be annihilated by the Southern Army. In any case, he needed to lessen her hatred toward him. Once the deed was done, and with love still lingering between them, she would eventually forgive him.

Plotting against the empire of his wife’s family, he knew full well how deeply he wronged her. Yet, with so many involved, it was no longer his burden alone. What was the crime of rebellion? Grave enough to exterminate nine generations. Everyone had staked their lives on this gamble. If they abandoned it midway, the blood of the Qi People would stain the lands of the Southern Garden. On his shoulders rested the lives and fates of hundreds of thousands, so he could only succeed, never fail.

All he could do now was treat her as kindly as possible. She was not one who valued wealth or power; most of the time, she was content simply having him by her side.

Before the New Year, there was still some leisure. The affairs required only his decisions; the execution was handled by his subordinates, sparing him from personal involvement. Thus, he spent a blissful time with her, enjoying the simple pleasures of life. She had never borne children but adored them deeply, often mentioning the Imperial Princess in the palace in his presence.

“Jinshu is a year older than Dongli. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if they married someday?” she leaned against him and said. “Emperor Qinzong was a wise ruler, skilled in both governance and military affairs. Most of his policies were sound, except for the prohibition against the Yuwen Clan marrying princesses—that was too heavily influenced by personal bias. What’s wrong with the Yuwen Clan? They don’t have four eyes or eight legs; why are they unworthy of the imperial family? I’m all alone here, with no kin or friends, and it’s truly lonely. If Jinshu could come and keep me company, that would be perfect.”

He feigned displeasure: “How can you say you have no kin? Am I not your family? If another princess comes, what if The Emperor has some new idea, and the children end up walking the same path as we did?”

Hearing this, she wrinkled her nose. “What’s done is done; let’s not dwell on it. The Emperor has only this one Imperial Princess and naturally dotes on her. He may not be willing to let her suffer such hardships. I think more intermarriage is better—when descendants share bloodlines, they become one family, and there’s no room for suspicion.” She then looked up at him with a smile. “When I speak of kin, I mean from my maternal side. Have you heard that line of poetry? ‘Husband and wife, the closest yet the most distant’… Only when two people love each other deeply can they be called family. Once they turn against each other, they become mortal enemies. How terrifying.”

She always possessed an uncanny, almost prophetic sharpness that sent shivers down his spine. The speaker might not have intended it, but the listener could not ignore it. After a moment of panic, he shifted the topic, forcing a smile. “Why talk of mortal enemies when everything is fine? The New Year is approaching; let’s focus on auspicious things.”

“Yes, yes, I spoke out of turn,” she said, pretending to wipe her cheek. After laughing, she sighed wistfully. “I’ll be twenty-two this New Year, slowly growing old.”For women, age is always a melancholy subject. What she regretted was not the gradual fading of youth, but failing to bloom before withering. The fear of being childless is a regret at any time.

Liangshi understood her thoughts and kissed her forehead, saying, "You're getting old, but am I still young? This is just the beginning; it's too early to talk about old age." He paused briefly, observing her expression, then asked, "Do you like that child, Dongli?"

Wanwan nodded, "Yes, I do. He's so adorable when he's awake, just like Jinshu."

He had never met Jinshu, but in her heart, perhaps all lovable children seemed the same.

He probed further, "What do you think about bringing Dongli back to the Princess's Residence? We Qi People have a tradition of raising each other's children. The Junior Princess Consort cannot care for him herself, and the old lady is getting on in years—we shouldn't trouble her with great-grandchildren. Rather than sending the child to those two Concubine's Quarters, why not let you keep him? Having Dongli by your side would be a blessing he earned over several lifetimes."

Her eyes instantly brightened, "Can I really raise him? I mentioned it to them last time, but I was afraid of separating mother and child, which would be unfair to the Junior Princess Consort."

"If you don’t raise him, should we let Madam Tala do it instead?" He stroked her face, "I feel most at ease with you. Whoever raises a child, they grow up to resemble them. I only hope he develops a noble and refined demeanor, not learning from those who lack grace. If we ask Lan Zhou and his wife, they’ll surely have no objections."

If she couldn’t raise a son, then raising a grandson would do. Wanwan sighed softly, "Let’s see what Yun Wan thinks. If she’s reluctant, we’ll drop it. After all, she suffered so much, and as the rightful consort, she has every right to keep him herself."

She didn’t understand his thoughts—he would rather have a child distract her attention so she wouldn’t fixate on the war situation all day. The little prince would have wet nurses and a Watchful Matron, so she wouldn’t need to worry about his daily care. With a child in her sight, her heart would soften, and even if any unforeseen events occurred, the harm could be minimized.

He leaned in to embrace her, burying his face in her cloud-like hair, "Wanwan, you must understand my feelings for you. In this world, you are the one I care for most."

She hummed in agreement, stroking the back of his neck, "When we grow old, we’ll rely on each other, never leaving one another."

Her thoughts stretched so far into the future, simple yet encompassing a lifetime.

On the day they were to fetch Dongli, she went in person, tactfully conveying the Prince’s thoughts while observing everyone’s expressions. If she detected even the slightest hesitation or reluctance, she was prepared to give up. Unexpectedly, the Young Mistress expressed immense gratitude for Dongli being raised by the lady.

She knelt with a curtsy, "E'nie’s grace leaves me and the master at a loss for words. We couldn’t ask for more, only fear troubling E'nie."

The Imperial Concubine was delighted with the arrangement and said with a smile, "It’s no trouble. If there aren’t enough hands over there, we can send two more. Back then, Lan Zhou and Lanting were raised by those same nannies, and now they’ll care for Dongli—they know the ropes and won’t have any difficulty. Ah, after all, grandparents dote on their grandchildren. It’s all thanks to our lord for thinking of this. Young Mistress, you must thank E'nie properly and show more filial piety to her in the future. As for Your Highness, let our Dongli keep you company. Children this age are the most fun. When summer comes, stretching their arms and legs, they become even more delightful."Dongli was placed in her hands, and Wanwan held him like a precious treasure, hardly daring to breathe. A few days after birth, the newborn redness faded, and now he was fair and clean, his skin as tender as almond tofu. She gazed at him again and again—what a lovely child, so delightful. From today onward, he would be entrusted to her care. Unable to bear children herself, she had no choice but to take another’s. Though it was somewhat embarrassing and she feared others might laugh behind her back, looking at the child made her forget everything. Let them laugh if they wished—keeping the child was all that mattered.

“If you miss the little one, you may come to the manor to see him,” Wanwan said gently to Yun Wan. “First, take good care of your health. Once your confinement is over, you’ll be able to move about.”

Madam Tala, standing nearby, quickly chimed in, “Your Highness is right. After such hardship, it would be terrible to harm your foundation—there’s still the future to consider. Your Highness is most kind. It is a great blessing for the little one to be by her side. Rest assured completely. If you miss him, just go for a visit. The two manors aren’t far apart; it’s quite convenient.”

Who would dare oppose the Prince and the Imperial Concubine’s decision? By convention, it was proper for a grandson to be raised by his rightful grandmother, but as his birth grandmother, it was impossible not to feel sorrow. As a Bedchamber Attendant by origin, she would always be looked down upon. In their eyes, she had never been considered respectable. Back then, she had no part in raising her own son, and now it was the same with her grandson. She could only watch as her beloved flesh and blood was handed over to another, unable to show even a hint of dissatisfaction, because in this household, she had no voice at all.

Wanwan brought the child back, placing the cradle in the Main Chamber. Whenever she opened her eyes, she would come to see him. Though he was nominally her grandson, in her heart, she regarded him as her own son.

She still remembered that the child she had lost was also a boy. If he had been stronger and survived, he would have been close in age to this one, like brothers. Wanwan leaned over the cradle, calling Tong Huan and the others to come look. The little prince had woken up and opened his eyes, where golden rings faintly appeared—a hallmark of their Yuwen Clan.

She adored the child dearly. Relying on her past experience raising Jinshu, she felt confident she could care for Dongli well too. However, the little one suffered from Wheezing Illness, and whenever it flared up, it worried her deeply. Sometimes in the middle of the night, she would throw on her clothes and go to the wet nurse’s room to check on him. Only after seeing that the little prince was fine could she return to sleep peacefully.

Fortunately, the ailment didn’t occur often. As long as the wet nurse’s diet was carefully controlled, avoiding triggering foods, the child remained healthy and robust. She cupped her hands into a nest, rocking him gently. “When you’re a bit older, you’ll go to the capital with your grandfather and meet Jinhe—Jinshu. She’s a beautiful girl, but sadly, she lacks love and care. Bring her back with you and treat her well, alright?”

Xiao You began to tease her, “Well, it’s true—those who aren’t family don’t enter the same door. How old is the little one, and you’re already worrying about his marriage? The princess in the capital is of his aunt’s generation. You really shouldn’t play matchmaker recklessly.”

She let out an “oh,” feeling quite regretful. “You’re right, his Ama and she are of the same generation…” She then kissed his little cheek. “This old lady is confused, but it’s alright. We’ll keep looking—there are always good girls out there. After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea.”

She held him to watch the birds and the winter crickets. The child was still small and would doze off after a while, but she always had ample patience to wait for him to wake before amusing him again.She poured too much of her heart into caring for her grandson, to the point where even Liangshi grew jealous. "Take care of your own health. Getting up in the middle of the night will chill you." As she tried to climb out of bed again, he firmly pulled her back. "If you won't listen, I'll send him back to the Princely Mansion. I let him stay to keep you company, not to drain your life away."

She pouted, feeling wronged. "I feel like Dongli is our own son, who has come full circle and returned to me."

He frowned, forbidding her to say more. "How can you have such absurd thoughts? A child lost so early hasn't even fully formed its three souls and seven spirits. Once gone, it's gone. The way you're acting now feels like you're hinting at my inadequacy, and it wounds me all over again."

She quickly fell silent. In truth, she knew the root of the problem didn't lie with him, yet she kept seeking discomfort, truly failing his kindness.

Resting her head in the crook of his neck, she asked eagerly, "Has the imperial court's decree come down? Who will be appointed Grand Marshal of the Army and Horses?"

With his eyes closed, he replied, "Guan Rong, the Right Assistant Commissioner of the Five Chief Military Commissions."

Wanwan felt a flicker of joy. "Does that mean you don't have to go?"

He opened his eyes and glanced at her. "Shouldn't a good man fight on the battlefield?"

But she shook her head. "I'd rather my man be ordinary, far away from those Weapons of War."

He knew he could never meet her expectations. The imperial court hadn't allowed him to lead the troops not for any other reason but to have him oversee provisions. That was fine, too. Guan Rong was his closest friend, and the generals beneath him were all his men. Even if he moved a step slower, he could still command from the rear. But the empire had to be won personally—no one could become The Emperor by arranging troops on a sand table. His departure for battle was only a matter of time, and the days he could spend with her grew fewer by the day.

He turned his head, pressing closer to her, murmuring as if whispering in her ear, "Whether those two hundred thousand troops are sufficient is still undecided. If reinforcements are needed, who else should go but me? You women don't understand the brutality of war. Once Nuergan invades the Central Plains, the conquest by foreign tribes will inevitably come through the cruelest means. It will be a catastrophe then—would you want to see that? Lan Zhou has requested to join the campaign, and I've approved it, assigning him as a deputy general under Guan Rong. Look, even our son is going to fight the enemy. How could I, his Ama, lag behind him?"

Wanwan couldn't help but feel anxious. "Is the Nurgan Regional Military Commission really that powerful? I heard they only have forty or fifty thousand men at most. How could they force the imperial court to deploy troops from the Andong Guard?"

He smiled, gently tucking the stray hairs from her face behind her ear. "The rebels are only a small part of it. The ones leading the charge now are the Garrison Troops from the border. They haven't received their military pay in five years. Who becomes emperor isn't their concern—they just want to fill their bellies. You cut off their livelihood, and they'll cut off your empire. It's as simple as that."

Everything he said made sense. Who was there to blame? They could only resent the emperor of the Western Sea, who, despite his high position, failed to shoulder his responsibilities. When rebels wreaked havoc on the imperial court, his only thought was to suppress them. Even if they were quelled, it would only be a temporary fix—who knew when it would flare up again?

She nestled in his arms and sighed. "I also urged The Emperor to practice frugality, but it went in one ear and out the other. I hope this incident serves as a wake-up call, making him see how urgent the situation is. That string of governing the country and bringing peace to the world should be tightened now."She was soft-hearted and could forgive repeatedly, but he knew that Murong Gaogong would never have another chance to reform. The great war had begun—it was a fight to the death. What he needed to ensure now was only the stability of the inner household. As for the battlefront, the expedition had received approval from the imperial court and would not encounter any obstacles along the way. With proper planning, they could even take the Forbidden City without shedding a drop of blood.

Step by step, he plotted, and now it was the turn of the Imperial Guards in her residence. No matter who had dispatched them originally, they were not as reliable as his own men. Therefore, these people could not stay; they had to be dealt with entirely and replaced with his palace guards.

He spoke amiably, hinting at his intentions: "Before troops move, supplies must go first. The military provisions for the Andong Guard are allocated from the Southern Garden. Now that all departments must cut expenses, our residence will also have to endure some lean days."

Wanwan naturally did not object, thinking she could start by reducing daily expenses. For instance, the dozens of dishes served at every meal were merely for show—how could two people possibly finish them all? Switching to simple home-cooked stir-fries would suffice, saving a considerable amount.

She shared her thoughts with him, but he only smiled: "Saving from the teeth—how much can that amount to? The biggest expense in the Eldest Princess Residence is its personnel. Think about it: the imperial procession granted by The Emperor, the agents left behind by Xiao Duo, and the Silk-clad Guards who followed from Beijing—how much is spent on them every month? Nanjing is our Feudal Territory, and the people here have long been accustomed to us. To protect the safety of both residences, why go to such lengths? In my opinion, those in idle positions should be dismissed—either return to the capital or join the army to fight the Northern Barbarians, where they can at least earn some merit. Staying here to eat idle rations only wastes their years. What do you think?"

Wanwan had also considered this matter; supporting so many people was indeed a huge expense. She nodded in agreement: "I’ll have Yu Chengfeng handle this. Have him compile a roster for me to review, and dismiss as many as possible."

But he said there was no need for Yu Xixia to intervene: "I see that the Imperial Guards are full of passion. I’m currently forming a guard unit and precisely need such talents. I’ll go ask them personally and have them serve in the army. After the war subsides, they can seek merit from the imperial court, securing a future for themselves."

Wanwan thought this was an excellent idea. Seeing her approval, he began dealing with those people. Would they truly be sent to the army? Absolutely not! Under the cover of night, they were led outside the city and eliminated, for his plan could not tolerate the slightest error.

However, no matter how meticulous his calculations, he overlooked Jinshi. The eight Silk-clad Guards under his command, like him, refused to leave the Eldest Princess Residence no matter what inducements were offered.

Jinshi’s reply was resolute: "We are commanded to protect the Princess Royal. As long as Your Highness remains, we remain, and we dare not disobey the imperial will."

Wanwan had no choice. Since everyone else had been dismissed, keeping these eight would not make much difference. She asked Liangshi for his opinion. Not wanting to act too harshly, he had no choice but to restrain himself for the time being and plan slowly for the future.