At this time, even a simple embrace in a movie could cause a sensation. Many people, accustomed to conservatism in daily life, would buy tickets just to watch scenes with a bit of physical contact. But in the film Fei Ni was watching, hugging and kissing were commonplace.
For as long as she could remember, this was the first time Fei Ni had seen such scenes in a cinema.
In the dim light, Fang Muyang took hold of Fei Ni’s hand and began drawing on it. Fei Ni’s hand grew increasingly warm, and she wanted to pull it away, but his grip was too tight—she couldn’t move it at all.
Fei Ni’s heart raced, yet she didn’t take her eyes off the screen for even a second. From the moment the movie started, she had been counting the hats worn by the female characters. Though she wasn’t particularly passionate about her job, years of work had ingrained in her a habit of paying attention to such details. When she first started working, sheepskin hats were still in vogue nationwide. Owning one meant being at the forefront of fashion. Working in a factory, she could buy hats directly with cash without needing coupons. As soon as she received her first paycheck, she bought a sheepskin hat and mailed it to her older brother, who was working in Inner Mongolia. Back then, she was still very young, eager to make progress but completely unaware of what that progress entailed. Though she was troubled by her inability to attend university, she was full of enthusiasm for her work. She even wrote a long letter to the factory director, offering suggestions about the limited variety of hats. At the end of the letter, she sketched several hat designs inspired by books and movies. Her drawing skills were far inferior to Fang Muyang’s, but they were clear enough to convey her ideas. That letter, however, never received a response.
Those intimate scenes were indeed enough to make one’s heart flutter and cheeks flush, especially when her hand was tingling with sensation. But Fei Ni paid no attention to the romance in the film—she had too many other things to focus on, and love was the least significant part of the plot.
The film was dubbed, and the subtitles were in Chinese. As soon as Fei Ni heard the dubbed lines, she tried to guess what the original English dialogue might have been. One sentence after another, her mind was occupied with figuring out which English phrases were closer to the original. During moments without dialogue, her eyes greedily took in the costumes and decorations on screen.
Her understanding of the world came solely through movies, even though this one was from the 1940s.
Another intimate scene unfolded. Fei Ni avoided looking at the kissing couple and instead focused on the background and the clothes the female lead was wearing.
She realized that years of movie-watching had conditioned her. In the films she had seen before, even if love was involved, the word "love" was never mentioned, nor were there any gestures of affection. The novels she read expressed emotions far more passionately, but words and visual impact were two different things. When the couple on screen embraced, her first instinct was to look away.
The audience in the theater seemed quite accustomed to such scenes, especially the person beside her. She glanced inadvertently at Fang Muyang—his eyes were calm and composed, as if these intimate moments were as ordinary to him as eating or drinking. Watching the movie didn’t stop him from teasing her hand.
Then, quite inconveniently, the power went out in the theater, which only screened films for a select few.
The screen went black.
Fei Ni felt someone touch her right cheek—once, then again. She dug her nails into Fang Muyang, signaling him to behave.
His fingers, still holding her hand, grew even more audacious in her palm.
Surrounded by people on all sides, Fei Ni’s heart was in her throat.Fortunately, the power came back on, and everyone else's attention was once again focused on the movie.
The people on the screen began embracing and kissing again, and Fei Ni continued to scan the background with her eyes.
English words raced through her mind, trying to match the translated Chinese.
When the female lead lost her job, Fei Ni’s attention finally shifted to the plot.
The heroine, unemployed and without means of support, mistakenly believed her lover had died due to a twist of fate. To survive, she reluctantly fell into prostitution. What ultimately broke her wasn’t the transactions with various men, but reuniting with her lover… She was torn between the beautiful future he promised and her own sense of unworthiness, eventually choosing to end her life in self-loathing.
After leaving the auditorium, Fei Ni still felt regret over the heroine’s decision to commit suicide. She believed the tragedy began with the loss of her job. No matter what, living was always better.
The movie told a love story, but Fei Ni interpreted it as a horror film about unemployment.
Outside the auditorium, Fei Ni wrapped a long scarf around her head and hopped onto the back seat of the bicycle, slipping both hands into Fang Muyang’s coat pockets.
The north wind howled, tousling the hair on Fei Ni’s forehead. Snow still lined both sides of the road, and although sanitation workers had cleared it, traces of ice remained on the ground. The moonlight cast a bleak chill everywhere. Fei Ni tucked her hands deeper into Fang Muyang’s pockets and asked him, "Are your hands cold?" "Not cold."
But Fei Ni thought, on such a cold day, without even a pair of gloves, it was impossible for him not to be cold. She still had a woolen hat that she could unravel to knit him a pair of gloves.
Fang Muyang said to Fei Ni, "When the Americans stick to tradition, their films follow the same path as our traditional dramas from centuries ago—still promoting the chaste and virtuous woman archetype. Next time, I’ll take you to see something different."
"Where did you get the tickets?"
"Asked someone for them. These aren’t sold to the public."
Fei Ni asked Fang Muyang, and herself as well, "When will movies like this be officially screened in theaters?"
Such wretched capitalism—it should be shown in cinemas nationwide for everyone to criticize. Why should only a select few have the right to critique it?
Fei Ni remembered that her subtle feelings toward Fang Muyang had always stemmed from this. She had no issue with him living in a large house or learning the violin from the orchestra’s principal. What bothered her was that Fang Muyang could watch internal movies reserved for a few and shop at stores accessible only to a privileged minority. Should movie-watching be divided into hierarchies? If she couldn’t afford the items in those stores, couldn’t she at least look at them?
Yet, she felt no joy when the Fang family lost these privileges. She wished children from ordinary families like hers could watch the same movies and visit the same stores as them—not that no one should have access at all.
She feared both scarcity and inequality.
Others living as poorly as her brought her no comfort.
Fang Muyang said, "It will definitely happen in the future."
In the cold wind, Fang Muyang suddenly blurted out, "I love you. I’ve never loved anyone else."
Fei Ni turned her head to look at the roadside, her heart racing. A moment later, she recalled it was a line from the movie.
Fang Muyang repeated the line again.
Fei Ni translated the words back into English and whispered them softly.
The wind roared past, and even Fei Ni herself couldn’t make out what she had said.Although Fei Ni was wearing enough clothes, when the northwest wind blew, she still tightly hugged Fang Muyang.
As soon as they got home, Fei Ni took out paper and pen and bent over the desk to write something.
Fang Muyang leaned in to look, but Fei Ni covered the words she had written with her hand.
"What are you writing that you're afraid to let me see?"
"You'll know soon enough."
"Can't you let me know now?"
"No."
Fei Ni was bent over the desk writing her thoughts on the sequential pictures.
Fang Muyang was nearby copying drawings from an art book.
After finishing her thoughts, Fei Ni pulled out her wool hat and began unraveling the yarn. Fang Muyang needed a pair of gloves for cycling.
She said to Fang Muyang, "I'm going to knit you a pair of gloves and make you a cotton-padded jacket. I'll be very busy from now on. You'll be responsible for making breakfast from now on."
Fang Muyang readily agreed. He had received his subsidy today and, as agreed, gave half of the money to Fei Ni.
That evening, the two lay in bed together listening to the radio. Fang Muyang extended his arm to serve as Fei Ni's pillow, occasionally kissing her.
"Could you repeat what you said in English earlier?"
"When did I say anything today?"
Fang Muyang repeated the phrase: "I love you. I've never loved anyone else." "I never said that." "I'm the one who said it. What did you say after that? I didn't hear clearly at the time." "You remembered wrong. I didn't say anything."
Fang Muyang breathed into his palm and went to tickle Fei Ni's sensitive spots. Fei Ni squirmed with laughter, unable to control her giggles.
As she squirmed, she rolled into Fang Muyang's embrace, and he wrapped his arms around her shoulders.
Fei Ni laughed until she was breathless, instinctively covering her mouth to prevent more laughter from escaping. Fang Muyang kissed her fingers.
While kissing her, he tentatively continued to tickle her.
"Stop fooling around."
"Then say what you said earlier."
Fei Ni said in English, "You're shameless."
Fang Muyang said, "Not that one."
Fei Ni said in English, "You're just a fool."
Fang Muyang said, "Not that one either."
Fei Ni stubbornly refused to comply with his wishes. She said in English that Fang Muyang only knew how to bully her.
Whether Fang Muyang understood Fei Ni's words or she had accurately described his nature, he breathed into his palm again. This time, Fei Ni couldn't squirm away—she was trapped in Fang Muyang's embrace and could only struggle within his arms. His hands didn't stop, targeting wherever she was most ticklish.
She laughed uncontrollably from the tickling, and Fang Muyang deliberately brushed his lips lightly against the corners of her mouth, making her even more ticklish. He held her hands, preventing her from covering her mouth, and her laughter spilled out uncontrollably.
Fei Ni couldn't help but beg for mercy: "Please, stop fooling around." "Say something nice." "Rogue!"
Fang Muyang gently tickled her again, "Still not nice enough. Think of something better." "Fool."
"Acceptable, but still not quite there. Think harder."
Fei Ni couldn't take it anymore, "No one is better than you. Please stop."
Fang Muyang's hand gently brushed against Fei Ni again, "That's not what I want to hear."
"Let me go, and I'll say it."
"I don't trust you. If you're embarrassed, whisper it in my ear."
Fei Ni had no choice but to lean in and whisper something nice to him.
Fang Muyang didn't keep his promise and instead rolled over with Fei Ni in his arms.Fei Ni had laughed so hard earlier that she couldn't stop coughing now. Fang Muyang patted her back and waited until her coughing subsided before fetching her some water.
"You only know how to bully me."
"You can bully me back."
"I'm not as bored as you are."
Fei Ni had initially ignored Fang Muyang, but unable to resist his coaxing, she started talking to him again.
Fang Muyang told Fei Ni that he had received his subsidy today and exchanged it for foreign exchange certificates. However, the Friendship Store primarily served foreigners, and for locals to enter, they needed either a passport or an international seafarer's certificate. Since he had neither, the only way to get in was for Fei Ni to pretend to be an overseas Chinese student.
"You must be joking."
According to Fang Muyang's plan, Fei Ni's new identity would be that of an overseas Chinese whose parents lived abroad. She admired her ancestral culture and had come to study in her homeland, but she still couldn't speak fluent Mandarin and could only communicate in English.
"I'm serious."
"Don't they require identification?"
"Just say in English that you didn't bring your ID, and besides, we have foreign exchange certificates. Trust me, your English is good enough to convince anyone that you're a student."
Fei Ni had long heard of the Friendship Store but had never been there. She really wanted to see what it was like.
Seeing Fei Ni hesitate, Fang Muyang said, "We have foreign exchange certificates. Going to the Friendship Store is also contributing to our country's foreign exchange earnings." "Do you think they'll believe it?" "You have a certain quality that makes people willing to be deceived." What Fang Muyang didn't say was that Fei Ni always carried an air of a female student, making her perfect for pretending to be an overseas student.
Without a passport, this was the only way he could take Fei Ni to visit the store.
Fei Ni laughed, "You're mocking me again." "How would I dare mock you?"
Fang Muyang eventually persuaded Fei Ni, and she decided to give it a try.
Early in the morning, Fei Ni put on the short coat Fang Muyang had bought for her. Fang Muyang buttoned it up for her one by one, wrapped a scarf around her neck, and held a mirror up to her face. "Look, I told you it would work."
Fei Ni turned out to be a better liar than she had imagined. While lying, her heart raced, but her face remained calm. With Fang Muyang, an experienced liar, by her side, they easily entered the Friendship Store.
Fei Ni and Fang Muyang first went to the second floor to look at clothing.
Fei Ni browsed with great interest, even though they couldn't afford a single item with the foreign exchange certificates they had. She quickly settled into her new identity, conversing with the shop assistant in English.
Fei Ni's eyes were drawn to a piece of Suzhou embroidery.
Fang Muyang asked her, "Do you like that?"
Fei Ni examined it more carefully.
Fang Muyang said, "Let's ask the price first. We can come back when we have more money. My second volume of sequential pictures is almost finished."
Fei Ni smiled and said, "If I like it, I can just look at it more. Why does it have to be bought? Let's see if they sell gloves here. If they do, I'll buy a pair. I don't want to knit anymore."
She stopped looking at the Suzhou embroidery and turned her attention to gloves. Fang Muyang didn't follow her.
The store was filled with foreigners—students, official visitors, and recently, a new group had emerged: foreign tourists. Foreign tourists visiting the country had to go through strict approval processes, so their numbers weren't large, but a group of them together was still quite noticeable.
While Fei Ni was selecting gloves, a young man with blond hair and blue eyes came over to speak to her. Based on her reading experience, his words sounded very much like a pickup line.
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