Love Story in the 1970s

At this point, Grandma had regained some consciousness and called her Mu Jing.

Mu Jing was attending to her nearby. Since it didn't require constant attention, she held a book to read—a professional text. Beyond her field, she only subscribed to one national newspaper to stay informed about current affairs. She never read any other publications; the only words she encountered were those on hospital charts and various shop signs, all related to daily life. Qu Hua had arranged for a jukebox and several opera records to be brought in. Occasionally, he would play one, but most of the time, he let Grandma rest. At lunchtime, after feeding Grandma some porridge, Mu Jing hastily ate two steamed buns herself.

During dinner, the Qu family sent over a meal. Mu Jing had informed her family earlier that she would be staying overnight in the hospital room to care for Grandma. As soon as she saw the food, she knew it had been prepared by her mother-in-law—there was far too much, likely including a portion for Qu Hua. Mu Jing mentioned she would be keeping Grandma company in the room. Grandma could only eat a limited amount, leaving a generous portion behind. After quickly taking a few bites, Mu Jing said to Grandma, "I'll take this over to Qu Hua. He just finished his surgeries around this time, and the cafeteria might not have anything left for him." She had heard from Doctor Zhao earlier that Qu Hua was covering shifts for someone, so he might have already gone home. Grandma, unable to eat the grapes herself, told Mu Jing to keep half and bring the other half to Qu Hua.

Just as she stepped out of the room, Mu Jing ran into Doctor Zhao. Thoughtfully, Doctor Zhao informed her that Qu Hua had performed several surgeries back-to-back that day and was now resting in the on-call room. He was on night duty that evening, and if Mu Jing delayed, Qu Hua might be called away again—staying up all night during shifts was common in their department.

"Why is he scheduled for night duty after a full day of surgeries?"

"Technically, Senior Qu shouldn't be taking so many night shifts, but he insists on it. The administration and patients are more than happy to oblige." In Doctor Zhao's memory, before getting married, his senior had no particular hobbies—he simply enjoyed performing surgeries. While others treated it as a job or a means of healing, Senior Qu regarded it as a pastime. With no family burdens, he practically lived at the hospital. Qu Hua was not only renowned for his skill but also for his astonishing stamina. He could stand in the operating room from morning till night and still handle a night shift. As his reputation spread, he became even busier, frequently called for urgent consultations.

"Sister-in-law, are you here to bring Senior some food?"

"I'm here to accompany Grandma. The family sent over a meal, and I thought he might not have eaten after his surgeries."

"Are you staying with the elderly lady tonight as well?"

Mu Jing affirmed with a sound.

"No wonder..." No wonder Senior Qu hadn't swapped shifts with him. He had been about to crack a joke, but upon seeing Mu Jing's face—a face perfectly matched with Senior Qu's, one that brooked no disrespect and clearly wasn't suited for jest—he swallowed the words.

"Would you like to join us for a bite?"

"I won't disturb you two, Sister-in-law. You should go ahead."

When Mu Jing reached the on-call room, Qu Hua was standing and smoking. Though his stamina surpassed most, even after a day of surgeries, he needed a couple of cigarettes to unwind. Hearing a series of hesitant knocks, he guessed it was Mu Jing without turning around—hospital staff wouldn't knock so uncertainly. He stubbed out the cigarette in a metal box lid, opened the window to air out the smoke, and said, "Come in."

Qu Hua asked, "Aren't you going home tonight?""I've talked to Mom and Dad, I'll be staying with Grandma tonight." Mu Jing unpacked the meal and handed it to Qu Hua. "You eat, I'll head back first."

"Have you eaten?"

"Yes."

"I feel like you didn't touch your chopsticks." Qu Hua pulled out his lunch box, took out a pair of chopsticks, wiped them clean, and handed them to Mu Jing. "Have a few more bites. I'll go see Grandma with you later."

Mu Jing took the chopsticks but only picked at the food a few times before saying to Qu Hua, "I'll go wash the grapes for you."

When Mu Jing returned with the washed grapes, Qu Hua was already gone. Half of his meal remained on the table, along with a small note saying he had been called for a consultation. The handwriting was scribbled, likely written in just a second.

Mu Jing packed the leftover food into a container, knowing he probably wouldn't be back anytime soon.

About two hours later, Mu Jing spotted Qu Hua through the observation window of the hospital room. She walked over and opened the door for him, whispering, "Grandma is resting. Have you eaten?"

Qu Hua glanced at Grandma's condition and replied softly, "Yes, you should get some rest early."

Mu Jing walked him to the door. "You should rest soon too."

Qu Hua didn't respond with an agreement. Based on his experience, whenever someone told him to rest, something urgent was bound to happen. A voice called out from afar, "Dr. Qu!" The orthopedic department's Director Xu had requested his consultation. The young doctor who came to fetch him described the patient's condition as critical. Qu Hua nodded at Mu Jing without a word and left quickly, the doctor trailing behind at a jog.

Mu Jing stood outside the hospital room until Qu Hua disappeared from sight.

Early the next morning, Grandma asked if Qu Hua had visited the night before. Mu Jing said he had. After feeding Grandma some porridge, Grandma urged her to take some snacks to the duty room and share them with Qu Hua. Mu Jing had no choice but to go.

She knocked on the door as lightly as she had the last time. After a while with no answer, she assumed no one was inside and was about to leave when she heard the door open.

The surgery had lasted until 5 a.m. The doctor sharing the duty room with Qu Hua had collapsed from exhaustion right after the operation, but Qu Hua had returned to the duty room. He had just fallen asleep when he heard the knocking. Because emergencies could arise at any moment, he slept lightly and hadn't even taken off his shoes. He got up and opened the door for Mu Jing.

Mu Jing could tell from Qu Hua's eyes that he hadn't rested well. "Grandma asked me to bring you some snacks and porridge. Wash your hands and eat."

Since Grandma had specifically sent her, Mu Jing felt it wouldn't be right to return too early. Noticing the grapes she had washed the night before were still untouched, she said, "Let me wash these for you again."

Mu Jing washed the grapes meticulously, scrubbing each one carefully even though she had already cleaned them the previous night. By the time she returned with the grapes, Qu Hua had finished his breakfast.

"You eat them. I'm going back to check on Grandma."

"You went through so much trouble washing these grapes. Have a few before you go."

Qu Hua picked up a grape and held it to Mu Jing's lips. She lowered her head and said, "I'll do it myself."

"Let someone else stay with Grandma tonight. You should go home and rest."

"I'm not tired."

"Would you really leave me alone in the bedroom tonight?"

"It's not like I won't be back. Grandma's health is more important." Even though others could take care of Grandma in her absence."You have a point," Qu Hua said, feeding Mu Jing another grape. "Is your work going smoothly?" He had a feeling Mu Jing didn't much like her job—otherwise, even if the school didn't require much from her, if she enjoyed it, she probably wouldn't have specifically taken leave to play the filial daughter-in-law.

Mu Jing lowered her head without speaking. There hadn't been anything particularly upsetting lately, but if she called it smooth, what excuse would she use later when she wanted to transfer jobs?

"Is something wrong?"

"I was thinking how successful your career is, while mine hasn't made any progress over the years. To outsiders, my major and my current job might not seem very different, but what I studied is completely useless in my work—unlike you... In that regard, I always feel I'm not good enough for you."

Qu Hua fed another grape into Mu Jing's mouth. "Then how do you plan to become good enough for me?" Whether Mu Jing genuinely felt inadequate or was just pretending, Qu Hua didn't know; but what he did know was that Mu Jing wanted to change jobs.

Mu Jing lowered her head and picked a grape to eat herself. Qu Hua probably still didn't believe her. Perhaps you had to believe your own lies to completely convince others. She selected a large grape, peeled it, and fed it to Qu Hua, smiling, "You help me think of something too."

"I don't have any other ideas—I think you're more than good enough for me."

Mu Jing hadn't expected him to say that. She lowered her head to pick another grape, but Qu Hua took the one from her hand and ate it himself.

With so many grapes, he had to take hers. She picked another one, but before she could take it from the plate, Qu Hua grabbed her hand and stole it. Just as she was about to speak, the grape was fed into her mouth. After Qu Hua stole from her several times, her competitive spirit was roused. She quickly grabbed one and put it in her own mouth. When Qu Hua failed to take it from her hand, he took it from her mouth instead.

This time, caught off guard, she was far from proactive, passively accepting his kiss.

She found it strange how this person never seemed to tire. Hearing footsteps outside, she pushed Qu Hua away, "Someone's coming."

Just as the door sounded, they had separated, with Qu Hua already sitting there casually eating grapes. Mu Jing hurriedly stood up, "You eat them, I'm leaving."

As Mu Jing walked out the door, she unconsciously touched her face—it felt somewhat warm. That bit of intimacy just now was unexpected. It wasn't like sleeping together at night—most married couples probably did that, but intimacy wasn't something every couple necessarily had.

Unable to figure it out, Mu Jing decided not to bother thinking about it. Once Grandma was nearly ready to be discharged, she could go pick up her younger brother.

Doctor Chen, who shared the duty room with Qu Hua, had just woken up after surgery. Squinting, he saw Qu Hua's new wife leaving with a flushed face. "Did I interrupt you two?"

"Not at all," Qu Hua pointed to the grapes, offering them to Doctor Chen.

"These don't help with fatigue—got any cigarettes? Give me one."

Qu Hua took out his cigarette case and tossed Doctor Chen two. Doctor Chen put one behind his ear and the other in his mouth to light. Seeing Qu Hua take one out to smoke, he struck a match and lit it for him. Qu Hua exhaled a deep cloud of smoke. Grapes indeed didn't relieve fatigue, but they helped control nicotine cravings. If Mu Jing hadn't been there, he would have smoked earlier.Doctor Chen took a drag of his cigarette and sighed to Qu Hua, "Without these cigarettes, I really wouldn't be able to hold up. When the surgery ended, I was thinking of rushing to get examined by cardiology before they left." After finishing one cigarette, he placed another between his lips and lit it. "After rounds today, I can finally go home." No sooner had Doctor Chen spoken than Qu Hua glanced at him expressionlessly. Doctor Chen nearly slapped himself—every time he said something like this, work would immediately pour in, though he never knew whether it would land on him or the person beside him.

Before Doctor Chen could actually slap himself, another knock came at the door, announcing an emergency with patient in bed ten. Qu Hua stubbed out his cigarette and headed straight out, tossing the cigarette pack to Doctor Chen before leaving.

There were still a few cigarettes left in the pack. Doctor Chen took another one and lit it.

He mused to himself, Little Qu is still so generous even after getting married. Rare indeed.

Qu Hua had no family burdens and performed so many surgeries each month, which meant he had plenty of money but nowhere to spend it. The cafeteria offered only a limited selection if he wanted to eat well, and cigarettes were practically his only indulgence. In this regard, Doctor Chen couldn't compare at all—his night shift allowance was nearly taken by his wife. If not for her mercy, he'd be rolling tobacco leaves to smoke.

As a seasoned smoker, he had once tried to convince his wife that Qu Hua's ability to endure day-long surgeries stemmed from his superior cigarettes, which provided real relief. He pleaded for a bit more pocket money to buy a decent pack.

But after his wife discussed his theory with the cardiothoracic surgery department, he lost even his cheap cigarette privileges. He cursed those thoracic surgeons to his wife—how they smoked while telling patients their lung diseases were caused by smoking and urging them to quit. His rants felt satisfying but proved useless. Now, if he wanted a smoke, he had to rely on Little Qu's wife not restricting him.

Doctor Chen sighed, feeling somewhat worried for Qu Hua. After performing so many consecutive surgeries, doing morning rounds, and still having outpatient duties in the afternoon—without those good cigarettes, even someone made of iron would struggle to endure.

During rounds, Qu Hua maintained a strictly professional demeanor, not even glancing twice at Mu Jing in the ward. But after rounds concluded, he deliberately lingered behind, turning to give Mu Jing a smile. Instinctively, Mu Jing would smile back.

Mu Jing had been staying at the hospital for a week to care for her grandmother. At every mealtime, her grandmother urged her to eat with Qu Hua. His meal breaks were irregular, and sometimes Mu Jing waited so long she considered leaving. But colleagues in the office would reassure her, "He'll be back soon."

Everyone in Qu Hua's department knew Mu Jing was his wife—they often ate together during breaks. When Qu Hua returned home alone, his wardrobe was still filled with his clothes, while Mu Jing's suitcase sat to the side. He had pushed his own clothes aside, leaving most of the space for Mu Jing. Though he seldom saw her at home, he frequently caught glimpses of her at the hospital.

After a week, her grandmother's condition improved significantly, and Mu Jing returned to work at her school. Spending more time with Qu Hua hadn't deepened their emotional connection, but their physical interactions had become more natural—mostly initiated by Qu Hua.On the night Mu Jing returned home, Qu Hua was on duty at the hospital. Mu Jing didn’t particularly look forward to Qu Hua’s return, but on the evening he did come back to stay with her, she surprisingly managed to fall asleep without taking any medication. Exhausted from the physical exertion, her mind was free of distractions, and all she wanted was a good night’s sleep. She didn’t quite understand what Qu Hua was thinking, but since her in-laws were fairly satisfied with her, Qu Hua’s thoughts weren’t all that important anyway.

The night Qu Hua returned, Mu Jing went back to her room after dinner and sat at the desk flipping through a book. Having spent a few days at the hospital, she knew how he had spent his nights recently, so she had a few trivial topics to bring up, avoiding the need to repeat the same few lines to show she cared. She asked him how many surgeries he had performed during his night shifts, what the cases were like, whether there were any consultations, and how many hours of rest he managed to get.

Qu Hua also asked a few questions about her work. It turned out they weren’t entirely without things to talk about.

Their conversation continued until they were in bed, and Mu Jing urged Qu Hua to rest early. Her words weren’t entirely devoid of consideration for him. However, she didn’t realize that Qu Hua, who needed intense focus during surgeries at the hospital, required a way to unwind after prolonged concentration. Though making love at home also demanded mental focus, for Qu Hua, it was the best form of relaxation.

Mu Jing found it much easier to fall asleep that night compared to the previous two, though it was also much later. She said to Qu Hua, “If we keep going, how will you have the energy to work tomorrow?” Perhaps because she had made similar excuses in the past, he seemed skeptical of her concern and only grew more vigorous in response.

That night, she dreamed of her childhood—getting lost while taking her younger brother out to play. As darkness fell completely, she still couldn’t find her way home. Her usually mischievous brother, who had been playing recklessly, hit his head and started crying, begging her to take him home. But she had no idea where home was. She bandaged his head while comforting him, telling him to stop crying. When she woke, she found herself holding Qu Hua tightly, so much so that she instinctively apologized to him.

“What is there to apologize for? It would only be wrong if you were holding someone else.”

Mu Jing hadn’t expected him to say something like that and was momentarily speechless.

When she got up and looked in the mirror, Mu Jing noticed tear stains on her face. She wondered if she had said something she shouldn’t have in her sleep, but she didn’t ask Qu Hua. Bringing it up would only make it real.

Another evening, Qu Hua brought Mu Jing a picture book, though she had no idea where he had found it.

Hesitantly, Mu Jing flipped through it and came across Renoir’s painting of a young girl.

She asked him, “Where did you get this?”

“A long time ago, I borrowed it from a classmate and never returned it.” Later, when he tried to give it back, the classmate refused to take it, so he ended up buying it.

Mu Jing was surprised by his sudden honesty with her. He had voluntarily handed her a potential weakness, though for Qu Hua, it wasn’t a big deal—he could always explain it away as viewing the artwork critically. But at that moment, at least, he was being sincere with her. Perhaps when he had asked about Renoir before, he had genuinely wanted to discuss it with her, and she had misunderstood. His attentiveness to her on the train might have been because he mistakenly thought she was someone he could communicate with. But now, Mu Jing felt no fondness for Renoir, especially not for his paintings of young girls. A painter could keep painting young girls forever, but a person couldn’t remain a young girl forever. She truly disliked Renoir. The reason she carried that picture book in her bag was for her younger brother. Qu Hua had misunderstood from start to finish—she was not the girl in Renoir’s paintings, nor did she like the people he painted.Mu Jing flipped through the illustrations inside and asked, "Are you showing me this because you think I'm old?" Her tone was like that of a jealous wife looking for trouble, envious of women younger and more beautiful than herself. She closed the artbook, still smiling. "I don’t enjoy looking at this."

"Then what do you enjoy?"

"I still prefer people engaged in labor. If he had painted female tractor drivers, I’d have liked it more."

She caught a flicker of disappointment in Qu Hua’s eyes and gave a self-mocking smile. So Qu Hua liked this type of young girl—no wonder he had kept this artbook for so many years. It also explained why he was so dissatisfied with her efforts to ingratiate herself with his parents; it was completely opposite to his preferences. She even felt a twinge of sympathy for Qu Hua. The woman he married was nothing like his ideal type, yet she couldn’t fathom what had led him to such a misunderstanding. Was it just because of the artbook in her bag? He had clearly heard her cursing—he had even guessed her hometown from her swearing. He had overestimated her potential.

She reopened the artbook, found a page depicting a serene and gentle young girl, and asked Qu Hua with a smile, "Do you like this kind of girl?" So that was why he had asked her repeatedly and kept this artbook at home all these years.

"You seem quite disapproving."

"If you like this type, I can try to understand it. But I’ll never be able to become like that." She completely understood why men were drawn to such girls, but she simply couldn’t pretend to be one. She was no longer young, and there wasn’t a single bright hue about her. At most, she could act virtuous, but she couldn’t pull off a youthful, girlish demeanor—she couldn’t even come close.

"Didn’t you say just the other day that you’d try to become the type I like?"

Qu Hua looked her up and down, as if holding deep expectations of her.

Mu Jing burst out laughing. "Don’t you think it’s ridiculous for someone my age to pretend to be a young girl? I’d laugh at myself before anyone else could." A decade ago, she might have managed it, but now, even if she had the will, she lacked the ability.

"I don’t have that kind of preference either. I prefer someone my own age whom I can communicate with. Your biggest problem is that you’re too tense, as if someone is always out to harm you." Qu Hua pressed his fingers against her shoulders. "See, you’re wound up too tight, especially around me. It’s as if I’m your enemy, and you’re only getting close to me to dig up dirt on me. Around you, I always feel like I’m not a good person."

Mu Jing feigned surprise. "Why would you think that?"

Qu Hua turned to kiss her cheek. "Relax a little."

At that moment, Mu Jing wasn’t necessarily unwilling to relax, but the more Qu Hua urged her, the tenser she became. She couldn’t control her own body—her defensiveness was ingrained in her very being. Qu Hua told her to close her eyes and kissed her again. They moved from the table to the bed. His kisses made her whole face itch, and the sensation was so ticklish she almost laughed, but laughter would have been too abrupt. So she clenched her teeth, though a faint smile still appeared on her face. He was only kissing her.

When a couple who aren’t each other’s first loves begin to be intimate, they often carry shadows of their past relationships. Mu Jing couldn’t tell whether this time or the last was closer to how Qu Hua had interacted with his ex-girlfriend. By the time Mu Jing had fully relaxed, Qu Hua asked her, "Did you miss me while I was away today?"

"Don’t you already know?""I bet you must be missing me terribly."

Mu Jing asked half-jokingly, "If I were your ideal wife, what should I say at a moment like this?"

Qu Hua covered Mu Jing's mouth, and she understood—his ideal wife should respond with bashful silence at such times, for silence implies consent.