Love Story in the 1970s

Fei Ni's photo was published on the front page, and she was involuntarily thrust into the spotlight.

What moved people most wasn't her appearance, but her smile—a smile that scattered all the accumulated gloom.

She had previously been an employee at the hat factory. Though she was now attending university, the hat factory still regarded her as one of their own. The newspaper featuring her photo was posted in the most prominent spot on the bulletin board. Even though Fei Ni was no longer at the hat factory, the employees could see her photo every day.

Feng Lin passed by Fei Ni's photo and article daily on her regular route. She inwardly criticized the hat factory for being ridiculous—Fei Ni would never return to work there anyway, so such publicity was completely unnecessary. She didn't like Fei Ni, yet she had to see her face every day. One day, she stopped to look at the bulletin board and unexpectedly discovered that Fei Ni was quite photogenic. She believed Fei Ni wasn't as beautiful or poised in person as she appeared in the photo. However, not everyone had seen Fei Ni in real life. For instance, Feng Lin's friends and relatives, upon seeing the photo, mistakenly assumed Fei Ni was some great beauty—

While Fei Ni was indeed attractive, she wasn't as stunning as the photo suggested. Feng Lin couldn't explain to them that photography could be deceptive; if she said too much, they would think she was jealous of Fei Ni. Previously, no one would have believed she could be jealous of Fei Ni—her family background, education, and job were all superior to Fei Ni's. But times had changed. Marriage and the college entrance exam had completely turned Fei Ni's life around. Not to mention, compared to Fei Ni's genuine admission to a prestigious university based on her scores, Feng Lin's status as a worker-peasant-soldier student seemed less impressive.

Feng Lin unexpectedly found that Fei Ni had become a topic of conversation, something that could enrich her own experiences. She slightly embellished her relationship with Fei Ni, saying that back when they worked on the blackboard newspaper together, Fei Ni valued her opinions and humbly accepted most of them.

Even if Fei Ni were present, she couldn't deny Feng Lin's words. At that time, working on the blackboard newspaper came with a subsidy, and she did indeed take Feng Lin's opinions seriously. Even when Feng Lin's suggestions were completely off base, Fei Ni never abandoned the task. It was only when Feng Lin went too far that she gave up the subsidy just to avoid seeing her again.

That was a wonderful time for Feng Lin—so wonderful that it was incredibly brief. Occasionally, when she caught a glimpse of Fei Ni's photo, she would recall those beautiful moments that belonged to her.

But those good times were gone forever. Fei Ni would never again heed her guidance.

Letters from all over the country poured into Fei Ni's university, addressed to her. The contents varied widely, but they always ended with the same request: the hope to become Fei Ni's pen pal. Initially, Fei Ni replied to every letter, even if it was just a brief note to decline. Later, as the volume of mail grew, she didn't even have time to read them all%e5%88%ab%ef%bf%bdlet alone write and send replies.

Her roommate, Lao Liu, told Fei Ni, "If the newspaper hadn't mentioned you were married, you'd probably receive even more letters."Fei Ni became a well-known figure at school due to the newspaper report. Even walking to the cafeteria, people would greet her as if they were old friends. Only after responding did she realize she didn’t recognize the person who had just greeted her. For the first few days, she wasn’t quite used to it, but soon the books in the library made her forget all about it. Many of the department’s teachers had spent years in obscurity before returning to the podium, while the students below, aside from recent graduates, had endured long periods when they yearned to study but couldn’t. On one side, teaching enthusiasm soared to unprecedented heights, with instructors eager to impart all they had learned in their lives; on the other, students possessed boundless passion for learning. Immersed in such an atmosphere, Fei Ni only regretted that she hadn’t read enough books.

Fei Ni hadn’t expected the department’s teachers to match her face with her name on the very first day. This wasn’t because she had appeared on the front page of the newspaper, but because transferring her records to the department had been extremely difficult. If not for the department’s persistence, Fei Ni would have been snatched away by another institution.

Unaware of the efforts the department had made to keep her, Fei Ni only knew she had a great deal to catch up on. She not only read during every spare moment of the day but also held books under her blanket after lights-out. She now slept on the upper bunk, with beds on both sides of the dormitory and tables pushed together in the middle, filling the entire room. Personal space was minimal, and the small bed was far less comfortable than the one at home, but none of that mattered—what mattered was having books to read. Sometimes, while reading, Fang Muyang’s face would suddenly pop into her mind, and she would wonder what he was doing at that moment. To ensure she wouldn’t forget him while reading, Fang Muyang had specially cut out many bookmarks for her, each adorned with his drawings. It was impossible for her not to think of him while reading.

Having been married to Fang Muyang for over a year, she had grown accustomed to having someone by her side. Even if they did nothing and said nothing, just being able to turn and see each other was enough. Suddenly being apart from him felt a bit unfamiliar.

However, all of this was temporary. Once they both graduated, everything would be fine. Fei Ni didn’t dwell on the sadness of this brief separation.

When Nurse Zhou at the hospital first saw Fei Ni’s photo in the newspaper, she found it very familiar. After glancing at the name, she matched it with the Fei Ni from her memory. Fei Ni’s appearance was quite distinctive, and seeing her a few times made her hard to forget. But what left the deepest impression on Nurse Zhou was Fei Ni’s eyes. When Fang Muyang was hospitalized, she often saw those eyes.

Nurse Zhou’s strongest impression of Fei Ni was that she was very quiet, seldom speaking, and mostly just smiling. Yet she would talk incessantly to the still-unconscious Fang Muyang. Every time Nurse Zhou pushed open the hospital room door, she would see Fei Ni reading newspapers or books to Fang Muyang. She wasn’t sure what Fei Ni was saying, as her voice was always soft, just loud enough for Fang Muyang to hear—even though Fang Muyang himself lay in bed, unconscious. It was as if Fei Ni was speaking to herself. At the time, Nurse Zhou thought Fei Ni was pitiable, because Fang Muyang might never wake up. But Fei Ni never felt sorry for herself. Her nose and mouth were covered by a large mask, leaving only her eyes visible—eyes that held not a trace of despair, as if Fang Muyang had already woken up or was about to at any moment.When Fang Muyang woke up, Fei Ni left, likely to make way for him and the one he loved. Nurse Zhou had previously heard others recount Fei Ni’s words—that Fang Muyang had long been in love with someone else, and Fei Ni, for the sake of his happiness, resolutely refused to marry him. She would rather stand by and watch him find happiness, even if it meant being alone herself. Later, when the two got married, it was probably because Fang Muyang had finally realized who was most suited for him.

Nurse Zhou shared the love story she imagined with new colleagues and relatives, repeatedly recounting Fei Ni’s selfless love. Several times, she was moved to tears during her retelling. Along the way, she gathered additional material: Fang Muyang had given up his university admission opportunity to his ex-girlfriend, yet this ex-girlfriend never once came to visit him. Alongside her admiration, anger was added to the mix. Nurse Zhou’s narration was vivid and emotional, as if she had been there herself. With each retelling, she grew more skilled and fluent, constantly filling in logical gaps until she arrived at the truth she sought. She compiled her latest version into writing, and during the process, she was repeatedly moved by her own words—a beautiful, kind, selfless, and hardworking girl who not only found love but also achieved academic success. Her tears soaked the manuscript, and she mailed it off, tear stains and all.

Not long after the manuscript was sent, the editorial department contacted the author to verify the sources, mainly confirming that the writer had indeed worked as a nurse at the hospital where Fang Muyang was once admitted. Since the title was "The XXX in My Eyes," the use of the word "my" inherently implied a degree of subjective interpretation, so the editorial department did not verify the details with the parties involved.

When the article was published, Fei Ni barely recognized herself. The events described were indeed what had happened—she had cut Fang Muyang’s hair and nails, and to care for him during his illness, she had not only exhausted her savings but had even said things like, "It’s my honor to care for a hero like Fang Muyang," and "For his happiness, I cannot marry him." Yet, her feelings were nothing like what the article portrayed.

She couldn’t very well tell people, "I’m not as noble as you imagine. My initial motivation for taking care of Fang Muyang was to secure a university spot. When I said I wouldn’t marry him, it wasn’t to make way for him—it was because I was afraid he would hold me back." None of these words could be spoken openly, so she had no choice but to let others shape her into this image of a devoted lover.

Su Jing and Fei Ni ended up in the same department at university. After reading in the newspaper about Fei Ni’s sacrifices for another man, he imagined her riding her bicycle to the hospital after work, reading newspapers to a man on quiet afternoons, her heart full of hope for his awakening—a perfect picture. And when he finally woke up, she left for his happiness. Su Jing inwardly cursed Fang Muyang for being blind—no one was worthy of such devotion from Fei Ni. Sometimes, Su Jing thought, if only he were older, Fei Ni wouldn’t have had to wait so sorrowfully for someone, even if she did eventually get what she waited for.Fei Ni found that every time she finished reading a book, Su Jing would come to discuss it with her within two days. At first, she was curious about why their reading tastes aligned so perfectly, but later she stopped overthinking it and focused on the discussions with Su Jing. To avoid appearing ignorant in front of Fei Ni, Su Jing would always look up extensive materials and organize his thoughts before each discussion. Yet, despite his earnest preparations, he sometimes still couldn’t keep up with Fei Ni’s train of thought. On such occasions, he would feel frustrated and ask her, "Do you think I’m stupid?"

Fei Ni replied, "At your age, I was far less capable than you."

"How old are you to start talking about 'back in my day' with me?"

After a moment’s thought, Fei Ni said, "I just believe that what I understand now, even if you don’t grasp it yet, you will eventually." She had experienced many moments of ignorance herself and, having gone through the process from "not knowing" to "knowing," she was convinced Su Jing would follow the same path.

Su Jing felt a sense of loss. "I always feel like you treat me as a child. There’s hardly any age gap between us."

"It’s not about the age difference. Sometimes I envy that you could go straight to university after finishing high school. At your age, I thought that was nothing but a pipe dream." Fei Ni often felt that Su Jing belonged to a different generation from her and Fang Muyang. Unlike them, Su Jing had taken the college entrance exam right after high school and had always been a student, transitioning from a secondary school pupil to a university student. Those who remained students their whole lives tended to be more innocent. Older students like her weren’t without advantages—they had accumulated life experience through work, which deepened their understanding. Years of deprivation made them eager to cram their minds with intellectual nourishment the moment they had access to it, regardless of whether they could digest it. This was a sentiment Su Jing could never comprehend.

"Did you really want to go to university back then?"

"Very much." She had been desperate for it.

"How did you feel when you found out Fang Muyang gave his university spot to someone else?"

No one had ever asked Fei Ni this question. How did she feel? Recalling her state of mind at the time, her first reaction was disbelief. She couldn’t fathom anyone giving up a university opportunity for another person. If it were true, Fang Muyang would be the biggest fool alive. She only came to believe it later because Ling Yi never denied the rumor—if it were false, Ling Yi would have refuted it outright.

"Do you think it was worth it?" Su Jing felt it was unfair to Fei Ni. If Fang Muyang’s ex-girlfriend had been willing to reconcile, Fei Ni might not have ended up marrying him. In Su Jing’s eyes, Fang Muyang was blind, and Fei Ni had no business being someone’s "second choice."

"Since I got married, I’ve gotten what I wanted most at every stage of my life."

Fei Ni wasn’t lying, but that didn’t stop Su Jing from misunderstanding.

In others’ eyes, Fei Ni had fully embodied the tragic heroine who persevered through hardship until her efforts finally paid off.

Fei Ni’s former neighbor—Section Chief Xu from the hat factory—also read Nurse Zhou’s article. He sighed to his wife, Wang Xiaoman, and remarked, "I think all female comrades should learn from Fei Ni. Just look at her—after work, she went to take care of Xiao Fang when he wasn’t even her husband yet..."Wang Xiaoman immediately flared up upon hearing this: "Do you also want to marry a wife like Fei Ni? Let me tell you, not only can you not marry someone like Fei Ni, but even if you did, she wouldn’t treat you the way she treats Xiao Fang. Before criticizing others and dreaming big, take a good look at yourself: Have you saved anyone like Xiao Fang did? Are you as handsome as he is? How many sequential pictures have you published? Did you get into university? Do you know how to cherish your wife like Xiao Fang? The only thing you have in common with Xiao Fang is that you’re both male. Don’t tell me you think every man deserves a Fei Ni."

"You’re utterly unreasonable! I was just discussing the newspaper with you, and you go off on such a rant!"

"Don’t think I don’t know what you men are thinking! I’ll treat you exactly how you treat me. I have my own measure—if you’re good to me, I won’t treat you poorly. Stop comparing wives with others. Before you do, take a look at yourself. I’m more than a match for you!"

Section Chief Xu, having had his hidden thoughts exposed by his wife, felt embarrassed and tried to placate her with sweet words. Though his wife wasn’t perfect, she was the only one he had in this vast world, and he ought to cherish her.

Ye Feng’s wife read this touching story in the newspaper and shared it with her husband and mother-in-law.

Deeply moved by the story of Fei Ni and Fang Muyang, she couldn’t help but shed a few tears.

Ye Feng’s mother, however, felt no emotion but anger—though she couldn’t very well express it to her daughter-in-law. If Fei Ni loved Fang Muyang so much, why had she gone on a blind date with her son and treated him like a mere option? She had thought Ye Feng broke up with Fei Ni because he valued his mother more and had chosen her over Fei Ni. But after reading the newspaper, she realized Ye Feng was nothing more than Fei Ni’s "second choice"—once the most important one agreed to marry her, the lesser one could be cast aside.

She considered writing to the newspaper to expose how Fei Ni had visited another man’s family just over a week before her wedding, proving she wasn’t the devoted lover the article made her out to be. But Ye Feng’s father stopped his wife’s impulsive plan, arguing there was no need to offend the Fang family over old grievances. Before the Ye family moved to their new home, they had lived in a single-story house in a large compound that originally belonged to the Fang family. After the Fangs donated it, the property was taken over by the state, and part of it was eventually allocated to their unit to solve housing for employees. Though it wasn’t the Fang family’s intention for them to live there, they had still benefited from the Fangs. Moreover, Fei Ni’s father-in-law was still in office, so it was unwise to provoke them.

After weighing the situation, Ye Feng’s mother decided to let the matter rest.

Forced by his wife to read about Fei Ni and Fang Muyang’s love story, Ye Feng’s male pride wouldn’t allow him to confess that, had he been more decisive, he would have been the one marrying Fei Ni—that the newspaper story was just a story, not the whole truth. Unable to speak up, he could only let his wife indulge in her idealized vision of Fei Ni and Fang Muyang’s beautiful romance.

"Braving the cold wind after work just to read to someone who can’t even hear her—thinking about that scene is so moving." Not hearing Ye Feng’s agreement, his wife pressed him, "Don’t you think so?"

To put an end to his wife’s questioning, Ye Feng occasionally replied, "Yes."What happened in other people's families were minor disturbances; the one truly affected was Ling Yi. With only a few types of newspapers and magazines available, that article inevitably entered her world. Even if she didn't read it, her family, colleagues, and friends would. Though the article didn't mention names, everyone from the educated youth point knew Fang Muyang had given his university spot to her. Now that the nurse's article about Fang Muyang's hospitalization was published, everyone knew she hadn't visited him. The only thing she could clarify was that she had never been Fang Muyang's girlfriend. But if she wasn't his girlfriend, and he had given her the spot, shouldn't she have visited him even more? Among relatives and colleagues, those unaware grew curious about who Fang Muyang had given the spot to and went to ask Ling Yi, who had been in the same educated youth point. Ling Yi couldn't say it was herself, nor could she fabricate another name, so she only said she didn't know. Yet guessing that Fang Muyang had given the spot to her wasn't difficult.

Because of this article, Ling Yi suffered from insomnia for several days, constantly feeling like people were pointing fingers behind her back. Her parents, heartbroken for her and worried the matter might affect her future, decided after much thought to swallow their pride and ask Fei Ni and Fang Muyang for clarification. Though they knew only one thing could truly be clarified: that Ling Yi wasn't Fang Muyang's girlfriend—the rest would need polishing. This time, Ling Yi finally mustered some courage and told her parents, "Don't worry about it. I'll go find Fei Ni."

On Saturday afternoon, Fei Ni didn't wait for Fang Muyang to pick her up but instead waited for Ling Yi.

She suddenly recalled her previous visit to Ling Yi's school, when she had asked Ling Yi to visit Fang Muyang in the hospital. Back then, she stood on campus, watching other students pass by, thinking how wonderful it would be if she could attend university—if there were exams, she wouldn't be worse than anyone.

Now the scene was reversed, with Ling Yi coming to find her.

Fei Ni couldn't imagine why Ling Yi was seeking her out.

Ling Yi was noticeably thinner than last time, and her mental state was poor. In terms of appearance, Ling Yi wasn't much less attractive than Fei Ni, but her eyes carried a clear sense of dejection.

Ling Yi apologized to Fei Ni.

"You have nothing to apologize to me for." This was Fei Ni's sincere thought. From beginning to end, only Fang Muyang had the right to forgive Ling Yi, and whether Fang Muyang was willing to forgive her was none of Fei Ni's concern.

The two walked along the campus path, with people occasionally greeting Fei Ni.

Ling Yi found it strange; Fei Ni hadn't been in school for long, yet everyone here seemed to know her.

"Back then, Mu... Fang Muyang gave the spot to me because..."

Fei Ni cut her off, "He told me it was because your cultural literacy was higher than his." The spot had nothing to do with feelings.

Ling Yi's lips trembled uncontrollably. "He told you that?"

"Yes."

Fang Muyang really knew how to save her face, but what she had done wasn't exactly commendable.Ling Yi covered her face with her hands, her fingers wiping away the tear stains. Walking along the campus path, she told Fei Ni her version of the story: "It wasn't because of that. Do you remember when Mu Yang asked you where you wanted to be sent to the countryside? He actually wanted to go with you. But fate played a cruel trick—it was me who ended up being sent to the countryside with him. Without his consent, I changed my assigned location to the same place as his. That place was harsh, and I struggled to adapt. I thought this was a sacrifice I made for him, but he showed no appreciation at all. Although he often helped me with work, he always deliberately kept his distance from me. Looking back now, what I called a sacrifice was nothing but a burden to him. He gained no benefit from my so-called sacrifice; instead, he ended up doing a lot of extra work he shouldn't have had to do. He took care of me partly out of a sense of responsibility and partly because he had no choice. Deep down, I could sense that he didn't actually like me, but I couldn't admit it. If I admitted it, it would make my decision to go to the countryside with him seem utterly absurd. The only reason I managed to endure that place was because he was there. Later, when I found out he was going to college while I might be stuck in that land forever, I felt like life had lost all hope..."