"See, she became one of us, but it still felt awkward. Having a teenage girl around—not quite a sister, not exactly a friend—was unclear and baffling. She was just a pitiful little burden, and I was somewhat dazed myself. But ultimately, I was the one looking out for her; if she got bullied, it was my problem. In short, no one was allowed to mess with me—I’d grab a knife and kill someone if it came to that."
Recalling those rebellious days, I couldn’t help but crave a cigarette. My fingers brushed over her lips as I spoke: "We agreed you’d leave after finishing middle school. A girl of fourteen or fifteen ought to have her own plans. You were so bright and pretty—you’d be welcomed anywhere. There was no need to stick with me, a slacker drifting through life, unsure of my next meal, hardly able to support you. That day at the train station, I meant to turn and walk away, but my feet refused to move. What if? What if you didn’t want to go? What if you wanted to stay? I never expected to wait for hours, only to see you walk out with your backpack. My heart leaped into my throat, but deep down, I was truly happy. Hey, having someone by my side meant coming home to a meal, clean clothes, and someone to talk to—it felt really good."
"Three more years of raising you, until you go to college. By then, we’ll both be adults, able to take charge of our own lives. But raising a kid is no easy task—it costs money, time, and energy. The first year, you were so well-behaved, living quietly at school and causing no trouble. Coming home on weekends for a meal and some pocket money was all it took. When I broke my leg, you bustled around taking care of me, bringing me food and massaging my legs—treating me like heaven."
"After I graduated from vocational school and started working at the nightclub, I had money, and life got better. Things should have been smooth—we could eat well, buy nice clothes, and our lives should have grown more harmonious, full of promise. But then you started rebelling, picking fights and being difficult. Around that time, I began dating, and every time I came home, you’d mock me. I wondered if I’d been a bad influence—a top high school student, yet your words were so cutting. You’d say things like 'messing around and catching diseases' or 'disgusting and shameless.' I’d always been careful with my words, never mentioning anything about the nightclub in front of you. Your homeroom teacher even called me, saying you were skipping class to go online. That year nearly made me sick with worry—I was terrified you’d follow me down the wrong path and ruin your bright future because of me."
"You also grew more and more beautiful. Every time I visited your school, standing by the gate, you’d draw the eyes of every boy behind you. I even wondered if I should teach you about sex—whether you understood things like kissing and sleeping together. The thought of what might happen made my scalp crawl. With my irregular hours, I was rarely home. I’ll never forget that night when the intercom announced a pretty girl crying at the door looking for me. Everyone joked that I’d gotten a girl pregnant and run off. When I saw you standing there in your pajamas, sobbing, my mind went blank and my whole body went numb. Your face was pale as you told me someone had tried to break in and do something bad. My head felt frozen, filled with the sound of explosions."Miao Jing's face suddenly lit up with a radiant glow as she listened, her lips pressed together in a suppressed smile, her slender shoulders trembling with quiet laughter. "Your face was completely dark then, your eyes gloomy and fierce, like you wanted to devour someone. It was the first time I’d ever seen you so menacing."
Chen Yi’s expression remained devoid of any smile as he pinched her cheek. "That was also the first time I held you. I wrapped my arms around you and took a taxi home. You were trembling the whole way, so pitiful it broke my heart. I still don’t know how you got through that night. If I had actually caught that person..." He gritted his teeth angrily. "I would’ve found a way to end them. Looking back now, I should’ve reported it to the police. At the time, I was worried about my job at the nightclub, so I didn’t involve the authorities. I ended up quitting and staying home with you at night, constantly on edge, terrified you’d be targeted and something would happen."
Now in Bogotá, where safety was even more precarious—especially for Asian faces—he dared not leave her side after dark, fearing she might attract unwanted attention.
Miao Jing beamed, nestling obediently into his embrace and nuzzling him affectionately.
"That last year was both good and bad, like something had soured," he murmured, stroking her long hair. "Because of the nightclub incidents, you kept arguing with me off and on. I was irritable and hard to deal with, yet life was also joyful. We spent every day together at home—accompanying you shopping, picking you up from evening self-study, attending your parent-teacher meetings..." He looked down at her. "Kissing you on stormy nights, lying on the same bed talking, kissing your face over and over... Our relationship felt increasingly different, like a sheet of paper growing thinner. I’d wander around the house in just shorts, and you never seemed embarrassed. You’d cook in the kitchen wearing a spaghetti-strap dress, and I’d secretly stand by the door, my eyes roaming over you from head to toe, again and again... Every day was a struggle to hold back, telling myself to wait until after your college entrance exams. I wondered if I should find a way to have you completely, since I was determined to take responsibility for you no matter what..."
His Adam’s apple bobbed heavily, and his hands roamed restlessly over her body.
"Who would’ve thought I’d end up catching you and reporting you for drug use? I ruined you," Miao Jing sighed coolly. "Had you officially become an undercover agent by then? Was life very difficult?"
"Don’t blame yourself. It was bound to happen sooner or later. I originally wanted to use their operations to clean up my own act—I had ambitions too. But once you step into muddy waters, it’s hard to come out unscathed. When things went wrong, my mind cleared up. We agreed on three years. You were supposed to leave after high school graduation. After all, we’re not really from the same world. You’d be better off with a more promising man than me. If I dragged you down with me, it would’ve ruined both of us."
"On your eighteenth birthday, I was playing mahjong with others in that smoke-filled room, lost over two million, and felt so agitated my head was throbbing. I thought about calling you but didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t. Nothing felt meaningful anymore, so I stopped trying."
Miao Jing bit her lip resentfully.
"During the two days of your exams, I got into a fight. I was ruthless, and so was the other guy—I broke his leg. At the time, part of me was distracted, hoping you’d do well on your exams and not be affected. But then again, what did it matter if you didn’t? You’re so smart. Even if you went to an ordinary university, I knew you’d still make something of yourself.""Forget about that matter. After the college entrance exam, you still had summer vacation ahead—selecting universities and waiting for admission letters. Bringing you back home was meant to spend these last two months peacefully together, without much conflict. But you just wouldn’t listen—a casual word or gesture from you could provoke me. Once anger took over, I couldn’t hold back. I’d pull you into my arms and kiss you again, thinking while I did: What does it matter? I’ll throw caution to the wind. It’s just kissing anyway. You’ve lived off me all these years—consider this your repayment."
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