Love for You

Fresh and beautiful enough to cleanse the dust of the world.

Someone whistled—who it was, no one knew.

Chen Yi pulled on a pair of sports shorts and strode over, scooping Miao Jing directly out of the water. He draped a T-shirt over her head, wiping the droplets from her face to reveal delicate features—rosy lips, pearly teeth, and a damp, dazed countenance.

Right there, in front of everyone, he kissed her.

Someone nearby commented, "They're in the honeymoon phase—even better than us married folks."

The group, dripping wet, returned to the farmhouse, changed into dry clothes, lit a bonfire, and sat beneath the vast starry sky, feasting on grilled fish and corn, dancing and chatting in a chaotic mix of languages.

They talked about their romantic histories, and somehow the conversation turned to first loves. The Latin Americans, with their fiery temperaments and open-minded views, shared that Gino and a few Colombian guys had their first girlfriends at thirteen. In China, it was generally later—around eighteen or even older.

Looking back, it was hard to pinpoint exactly when Miao Jing and Chen Yi started "liking" each other.

Miao Jing was certain: it was when she couldn't stand seeing other girls around him. By then, she was secretly fond of him. As for her feelings before that, they were too complex and unclear—hard to define whether, back in middle school, her heart had already been drawn to him for various reasons.

As for Chen Yi's feelings toward her, she wasn't sure.

"Earlier, you said... I was your first love. Was I really?" Miao Jing asked him. "I remember it wasn't."

"How wasn't it?"

She was sitting on his lap, a bit too far away. He pinched her slender waist, pulling her crashing into his embrace, clinging together like conjoined twins.

"You had a girlfriend. You kissed her on the Ferris wheel."

He laughed recklessly and arrogantly. "Who was that woman again? I almost forgot. We barely knew each other, just ended up together for no reason."

Miao Jing frowned, digging her fingers into his back—a sharp, stinging pain.

"Don't expect me to play the role of a good man. I'm definitely not a good guy—don't forget, I was a little thug." He leaned back lazily in his chair. "Back then, I was really afraid of making you angry. I never knew what sharp words you'd come up with. Even talking to another girl, I worried her perfume might cling to me and you'd pick a fight when I got home."

He thought for a moment. "Around seventeen or eighteen, I watched too many of those discs. At night, I'd have hazy dreams—someone lying in my bed, faceless, wearing white lingerie, so familiar and pretty. I’d feel unbearably restless, gripping her arm—cool and slender, so thin I could wrap one hand around it. She’d curl into my arms, sending shivers of pleasure through me. But when I pressed down to kiss her, she’d vanish. My body would burn like fire, and suddenly, there’d be cool water at my lips. I’d take a sip and see round, bright eyes holding a cup... I’d jolt awake in shock. The next morning, standing on the balcony smoking, I’d look up and see the clothes hanging overhead... Why did they look so familiar? White, with lace trim... I thought, had I really gotten that desperate? Better find a girlfriend fast, or who knows what I might do."

Miao Jing was slightly stunned, staring fixedly at him.

Chen Yi let out a sigh. "The only childhood memory I can recall is when I was beaten and lying in bed, and you got up in the middle of the night to give me water, even steamed egg custard for me... Every time I remember, I feel strange—achy, sore, and sweet all at once, prickling with discomfort..."

"If you remember me taking care of you, then why did you still bully me, steal my living expenses, and eat my meatballs?""I just wanted to bully you." He twirled her hair between his fingers, a playful smirk on his lips. "Standing so conspicuously right under my nose, I couldn't help but watch you. Watching you stare at me with those wide, round eyes—timid and bewildered, lips slightly parted as if unsure what to say—somehow made me feel inexplicably pleased. But who knew you'd be so foolish? Starving yet not knowing to go home and ask for money. Just as clueless as when you were little, so easy to tease."

"Every night when you emerged from the washroom after bathing, your skin pale as scallions, hair dripping wet, you looked like freshly scooped tofu—soft and delicate, carrying the scent of soap and shampoo. Did you even know how many boys secretly watched you back then, whispering about your beauty? Pretty you were, but still childlike—your body and face not fully matured. Hearing others talk about you, I'd feel this inexplicable irritation..."

"Then you grew taller, truly becoming more beautiful, excelling in your studies too—exactly the kind of aloof girl boys secretly crush on. Ah, but clearly not someone from my world. After Chen Libin died, I figured we'd have no further ties. Never expected your mother to be so ruthless—vanishing without a trace. Honestly, had she split that insurance money with me, even just fifty or a hundred thousand, I'd have accepted it. Sent you and your mother off properly—after all, it was Chen Libin's money. I wasn't being greedy, just wanted enough to live comfortably for a couple years."

"When your mother ran off with the cash and abandoned you, I truly lost it. My whole life, nothing good ever happened to me—just one damn misfortune after another piling up. Why did no one ever care about me? What did I ever do to deserve this? So I decided, screw it, do whatever you want. But then you stayed, clinging to me like a burr." He suddenly chuckled, eyes gleaming like obsidian. "You even knew how to curry favor—volunteering to wash my clothes and cook. Did you think some young girl could easily manipulate me? I hardened my heart, thinking it wasn't my problem anyway. Never expected you to be so stubborn... and so stupid. Starving with no money—couldn't you speak up? Find a teacher, contact civil affairs, go on TV searching for relatives—would society really let a child starve at home nowadays? Yet you just waited, as if destined to become my burden."

Miao Jing listened to his recollections, her eyes moistening as she sniffled softly.

Chen Yi gripped her neck, bringing her crimson lips to his. Their mouths met, breaths tangling as they savored the tenderness and palpitations between their connected lips, deeply teasing each other's tongues and saliva. When their breathing grew unsteady, they slowly parted, gradually calming their stirred emotions.He cleared his throat lightly and continued, "I wasn't that kind-hearted back then. I wanted to tease you, really enjoyed seeing you biting your lips with teary eyes yet stubbornly holding back your frustration. The sight tugged at my heartstrings in an unsettling way. Thinking you wouldn't follow me so easily, I decided to scare you first - I really had some wicked thoughts. Taking you stealing, watching your face turn pale with fear, yet you still maintained your dignity, so different from punks like us. Later, when I taught you those things - whether scavenging for scraps or collecting nearly-expired food - I've never told anyone else about them. When I was young and greedy, running wild outside just wanting to eat something with no money in my pockets, I'd find ways to fill my stomach. Men have their pride too - it would be embarrassing if my buddies found out. But I was actually quite happy, like sharing secrets with someone. You're the only one I ever did these things with. After all, you've already witnessed all my humiliations - the beatings and shame at home. Between us, it doesn't matter."