The summer heat was unsettling. Shang Mengxian’s friend asked, “How did it go?”
Shang Mengxian couldn’t possibly mention the embarrassing incident of nearly being bitten by a dog. She replied disdainfully, “Not bad. We walked together for a while, and he started talking to me.”
Her friend wasn’t surprised. “You’re probably the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. It’s unlikely anyone will ever like him in this lifetime, so it’s normal for him to get a little excited.”
Shang Mengxian opened her mouth but then closed it. How could she admit that his reaction had been utterly indifferent? But then again, as her friend said, he probably had no chance of meeting anyone more attractive. It was only a matter of time before he became infatuated and tried to please her.
She had no shortage of admirers, but a cold, flawed admirer sounded like a challenge.
If someone like him fell for her, she might even be able to turn him into an obedient lapdog. Still, he wasn’t bad-looking—aloof and resolute in appearance—which was why Shang Mengxian had endured her disgust to approach him. Moreover, she’d heard he was the top student in his grade.
Shang Mengxian knew that people like him craved affection the most. She opened a box of imported chocolates another boy had given her, and before afternoon classes began, she headed downstairs to Class 7 of Grade 7.
She stopped a student from the class and said, “Could you call Pei Chuan out for me?”
The young boy blushed when he saw the famous beauty from Grade 8 and agreed.
When Pei Chuan heard someone was looking for him outside, he put down his book and went out.
The cicadas chirped incessantly in the midsummer heat, and the ceiling fan in the classroom spun lazily, making time feel slow.
Pei Chuan showed no change in expression when he saw Shang Mengxian. “What is it?”
“These chocolates were brought back from abroad by a friend of my mom’s. They’re really good. Thank you for showing me the way earlier—I wanted to share some with you.”
Pei Chuan glanced at the chocolates in her hand. His family had the same ones, brought back by Jiang Wenjuan’s colleague from abroad. He didn’t like them, so he’d given them all to Bei Yao.
He wasn’t stupid. Shang Mengxian’s tone unintentionally revealed her contempt, as if he had never seen such a rare treat in his life.
His face cold, Pei Chuan turned and walked back into the classroom without accepting the chocolates.
Shang Mengxian’s face flushed crimson. It was the first time she had been publicly rejected in front of an entire class. Though her pride was wounded, she forced a tolerant smile and returned upstairs to her own classroom.
Back in his classroom, Pei Chuan glanced at the third row in the middle, where Bei Yao was sleeping with her head on the desk. Her long, dark lashes curled downward like weightless butterfly wings.
He withdrew his gaze and began reading the physics textbook meant for Grade 9.
What Pei Chuan had dismissed as insignificant began to ferment unnoticed.
By the time Bei Yao heard the unsubstantiated rumors, Shang Mengxian’s gesture of giving chocolates had evolved into something highly unfavorable for Pei Chuan.
After painstakingly escaping the sympathetic glances he’d endured in elementary school, Pei Chuan found himself plunged into an even worse situation overnight.
Boys from the back of Class 7, Grade 7, gossiped in the restroom: “I thought he was all aloof and proud, but it turns out he’s secretly trying to win Shang Mengxian’s favor. He even took her to explore the new park.”
Another boy unzipped his pants and chimed in, “He should know his place. A toad lusting after a swan’s flesh. Shang Mengxian pitied him and gave him chocolates, and he had the nerve to act all high and mighty and refuse them.”"Could Shang Mengxian possibly be interested in him? A cripple without lower legs—not even Chen Xiaomei from our class would like him, let alone Shang Mengxian..." Chen Xiaomei had slightly buck teeth.
The word "cripple" was uttered softly, but as soon as it left his mouth, another boy quickly shot him a warning look.
The boy who had said "cripple" followed his classmate's gaze and turned around, only to see Pei Chuan emerging from the shadows.
Pei Chuan walked past them expressionlessly, turning on the faucet to wash his hands. The sound of rushing water filled the boys' bathroom, and for a moment, it was the only noise. The cruel and malicious remarks had been overheard by the very person they were about, and the boys eventually fell silent.
Pei Chuan remained calm throughout, but as he washed his hands, he scrubbed with such force that his slender, pale fingers turned red. After he left, the boys exchanged uneasy glances.
"Did he hear what we said?"
"Probably. He's not deaf, and the bathroom is so small."
"If he heard, why didn't he react?"
"Who knows... Why are you scared? It's not like we were lying."
Perhaps out of jealousy over Shang Mengxian's unusual attention toward Pei Chuan, or perhaps due to resentment toward his consistent top grades and aloof demeanor, the baseless rumor began to twist and distort as it spread.
A small portion of the class began using particularly harsh language.
Fortunately, most felt such words were too cruel and disrespectful, refusing to join in. Fang Minjun unexpectedly found herself among this majority.
Her thin face now carried a sharp edge as she retorted, "You people spend all day making wild assumptions about others. I think you're the disgusting ones. What's wrong with Pei Chuan? He has good character and excellent grades, and he doesn't gossip behind people's backs like noisy busybodies."
One boy flushed red and snapped, "Damn it, Fang Minjun, you're only defending Pei Chuan because you're jealous of Shang Mengxian."
Fang Minjun sneered, "What do I have to be jealous of? There are plenty of people in the world more attractive than Shang Mengxian."
"But anyone better-looking than Shang Mengxian would never in their life be interested in Pei Chuan," the boy laughed mockingly. Fang Minjun, less skilled in arguments, was left fuming.
When Bei Yao heard the rumors, her face immediately darkened.
That noon, she had been napping and missed Shang Mengxian's visit to Pei Chuan. She never expected things to escalate like this. At the start of seventh grade, everyone had matured enough to avoid touching on others' sore spots, and on the surface, no one mentioned Pei Chuan's disability. Yet, because of Shang Mengxian, Pei Chuan's situation had drastically changed.
A thousand-mile dike can collapse because of an ant hole.
Besides worrying about Pei Chuan's state of mind, Bei Yao feared he might genuinely like Shang Mengxian. In her view, Shang Mengxian was far from worthy, and Pei Chuan would only get hurt. Stubborn as he was, if he truly developed feelings, no one could dissuade him.
The last period was English class. Bei Yao had packed her things early, and the moment the dismissal bell rang, the boy left the classroom. She immediately followed him.
Pei Chuan, not yet fourteen, had a clean and handsome face. The moment she approached him, he whirled around and demanded, "Why are you following me?"
Bei Yao detected the anger in his voice and replied softly, "Don't listen to their nonsense. My mom says people who talk recklessly will grow up with rotten mouths. Those bullies will get what they deserve."The sunlight spilled over her soft hair, turning it into a gentle, lovely light gold. His previously suppressed, suffocating emotions suddenly erupted: "They weren't talking nonsense. Should I call you foolish or naive? You clearly know it's the truth. That girl just wanted to play games, but you—what do you want from me by following me around?"
Bei Yao looked at him, somewhat saddened. "I don't want anything."
Her backpack had been replaced, but the little panda still hung from it, swaying pitifully in the summer evening breeze.
"Don't tell me you could possibly..."
Her eyes, shimmering with watery sadness and a hint of closeness, made him want to say something even more vicious, but in the end, he couldn't utter a word.
Pei Chuan knew that although those people had spoken harshly, they had spoken the truth.
With his cold, detached eyes, he was accustomed to the world's scorn and pity—including Shang Mengxian, who had approached him with a playful, mocking attitude from the start. In his first year of junior high, they had taught him a vivid lesson, making it clear that he would never be loved in this lifetime.
Liking someone, having a crush, falling in love—these were all luxuries far beyond his reach.
When they were just ordinary friends, it was fine; everyone would offer him care out of "pity." But once youthful affections were involved, he became a filthy existence everyone avoided.
No girl in this world would be so broad-minded as to accept his imperfections without a second thought.
Especially not a pretty girl.
His dark pupils quietly and silently watched Bei Yao before him. What would she be like when she grew up?
~
The culprit behind this incident was Shang Mengxian, yet even she hadn't expected things to escalate like this. In the blink of an eye, she thought again: now that Pei Chuan was being condemned by everyone, if she went to comfort him, wouldn't it be easier for him to fall for her?
Bei Yao had been thinking of many ways these past few days to help Pei Chuan escape this terrible situation. She also thought of Shang Mengxian—if Shang Mengxian could speak up for him, it would make a big difference.
Bei Yao went upstairs to the second-year Class One to look for someone and happened to run into Shang Mengxian coming down, chatting and laughing with others.
"Senior Shang, can I talk to you?"
Shang Mengxian stopped laughing and looked at Bei Yao.
The young girl before her was somewhere between adolescence and childhood, her cheeks soft and chubby with baby fat, exquisitely pretty and adorable. Shang Mengxian frowned. "Alright, what do you want to talk about?"
They stepped into the cherry blossom grove along the school path, and Bei Yao spoke first: "Do you remember me? The one who chased away the puppy that day."
Shang Mengxian said reluctantly, "I remember."
"Senior, Pei Chuan is being subjected to awful rumors now. Can you explain what happened before to everyone?"
Shang Mengxian replied, "What is there to explain? It's not like I spread those rumors."
"But you were the one who insisted on following Pei Chuan home, and then you gave him chocolate in front of everyone. 'He is guilty because of his treasure'—he's really suffering now." Seeing that Shang Mengxian didn't refute her, Bei Yao knew she had guessed right: it really was Shang Mengxian who had sought out Pei Chuan.
"What does that have to do with me? He hasn't even come to talk to me himself. Who is he to you that you need to speak for him?"Shang Mengxian could guess that the girl before her was likely friends with the boy. That day, Bei Yao had bravely chased away the barking dog; though clearly frightened herself, she still stood in front of her and Pei Chuan. However, Shang Mengxian was also certain this still-immature girl would have no relationship with Pei Chuan. Who would willingly keep such a boy by their side?
But she hadn’t expected Bei Yao’s expression to darken.
The young girl lifted her fair face, speaking each word with incredible seriousness: "He is someone I’ve protected for almost ten whole years." He isn’t the plaything or invalid you see him as—he’s the boy I’ve coaxed into growing up. I want him to be safe and sound his entire life, to grow up happily like before, even if his personality remains aloof and unlikable.
~
Bei Yao’s negotiation had failed. Though not discouraged, there was little she could do. Since Shang Mengxian refused to explain, Bei Yao took it upon herself to clarify everything. Fortunately, one positive change came from that day’s conversation—Shang Mengxian stopped seeking out Pei Chuan.
She persisted in these small efforts for a long time until they advanced to eighth grade, when past events gradually faded from memory. After Shang Mengxian started dating a boyfriend, everyone finally let go of the matter concerning Pei Chuan.
As for Pei Chuan, he had only erupted that one time. By eighth grade, he seemed to have forgotten the incident himself and never brought it up again.
When Shang Mengxian got a boyfriend in ninth grade, it spread like wildfire among the students, though teachers remained unaware. Like in later years, early romance was a forbidden zone for students in the early 2000s. While the boys envied the guy dating Shang Mengxian, they also secretly admired her courage.
One day, Shang Mengxian’s boyfriend came to school to deliver red roses to her. The vibrant blooms were ostentatious, and the boy—wearing sunglasses with dyed blond hair—even hugged Shang Mengxian outside the classroom.
The ninth-grade Class One students went wild, whistling and cheering excitedly.
Shang Mengxian’s boyfriend wasn’t from their middle school; rumor had it he was two years older than her. Bei Yao was also dragged out by Hua Ting to see the commotion. From a distance, Bei Yao found the boy’s profile somewhat familiar, though she couldn’t pinpoint why.
Knowing Pei Chuan had a good memory, Bei Yao asked him after school, "Don’t you think the boy who came to our school today looks familiar? Did you see him? Do you remember him?"
Pei Chuan kept his eyes forward. "No."
Bei Yao kicked a small pebble at her feet. Did he mean he hadn’t seen him? Or that he had no impression of him?
He glanced at her. "Don’t worry about other people’s business. Focus on your high school entrance exams." He paused, then asked, "Which high school do you want to attend?"
City C had three renowned high schools: No. 1, No. 3, and No. 6.
Bei Yao perked up. In her previous life, she had studied hard too, but lacking the natural brilliance of some peers, she barely managed to get into No. 6 High School. Among the three, No. 6 also had a relatively relaxed atmosphere. Her eyes sparkled with tiny flecks of light. "I’d like to go to No. 6. It’s close to home."
"Mm," he acknowledged, making a mental note.
With his grades, he could attend any high school without issue. Pei Chuan had never taken an IQ test, but he sensed he learned and remembered far more effortlessly than anyone else. He could have skipped grades, yet he hadn’t—growing up step by step, disciplined and stubborn.
When Pei Chuan returned home, he took a shower first.No one was home at this time of day—his parents were still at work. Pei Chuan calmly returned to his room and took a note from a drawer, on which Ding Wenxiang’s contact information was written.
Ding Wenxiang was the boy who, back in sixth grade, had stubbornly tried to pull up his pants to see his prosthetic leg. Ding Wenxiang was missing two fingers on his right hand. Now grown up, he had dropped out of school and was drifting through society. Though unremarkable in other ways, he excelled at pretending to be wealthy.
Shang Mengxian’s current boyfriend was Ding Wenxiang. Blind to deception, the two of them harbored ill intentions toward each other yet seemed to revel in it.
Bei Yao had assumed that after their conversation, Shang Mengxian had left Pei Chuan alone, but that wasn’t the case.
Even after that day, Shang Mengxian hadn’t given up, and Pei Chuan felt a surge of anger.
The reason Shang Mengxian kept her distance now was because he had resorted to a particular method—or rather, because of his despicable tactics. Starting this year, Pei Chuan’s high intelligence was no longer directed toward honorable pursuits.
Pei Chuan tossed the note into the toilet and pressed the flush. In the swirling water, it vanished without a trace.
He was grateful to the scheming Shang Mengxian of this year for teaching him one thing: he would never be worthy of love in this lifetime.
He didn’t deserve it.
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