Legend of the Female General

Chapter 228: Look at Me

Lanterns stretched for miles, their brilliant lights adorning the distant night.

Beneath the railing, the river flowed gently, while light snow fell silently upon the people.

The cloak shielded her from all wind and snow, and the man’s lips, carrying a faint warmth, met hers. Like the bowl of sesame rice dumplings she had just eaten, the taste was soft, glutinous, and sweet.

He Yan could hear her own heartbeat—vibrant and powerful, one beat after another in this snowy landscape. His robes still carried the chill of the wind and snow, yet his demeanor was as gentle as if he were handling the only treasure of his life.

As though trying to preserve this moment forever.

No one could remain unmoved by the person before them.

When his lips parted, He Yan felt a lingering reluctance. She looked up at him, and Xiao Jue lowered his gaze, tidying the strands of her hair that had been tousled by the wind.

Her ears were already as red as cooked shrimp. He Yan whispered, “…Xiao Jue, you’re not angry anymore, are you?”

Xiao Jue sighed silently.

“Xu Zhiheng… is a thing of the past.” He Yan thought for a moment, then looked at him earnestly. “If the past has made you unhappy, I apologize. I don’t know what other women do when they’re with the person they like. I’ve spent far more time as a man than as a woman. Xiao Jue, I will treat you well. Whatever you like, I’ll find a way to give it to you. Whatever you dislike, I’ll help you drive it away. If anyone bullies you, I’ll stand up for you. I won’t deceive you or hurt you… Is that okay?”

Thinking about it now, even when she was with Xu Zhiheng back then, she hadn’t acted like other women did with their lovers. This was partly because Xu Zhiheng was no good man, but also because she herself didn’t know how to treat someone she liked.

In her childhood at the He family, she had learned very little about “love.” And because she yearned for her birth parents’ affection, she deliberately tried to please them. Even after she later went to the battlefield, this sense of inferiority was well hidden. But things etched into one’s bones are like bones buried beneath the sand—when the wind blows, they still resurface.

As a general, she learned to command and be decisive. She knew how to care for people, but she didn’t know how to handle more intimate relationships. Those vague feelings left her unsure whether what she was doing was right or wrong.

Xiao Jue’s gaze lingered on her. The girl still held the bright red candied hawthorn in her hand, looking up at him with sincerity and a hint of cautious uncertainty in her eyes.

He had once thought she was a liar who could spin tales effortlessly. But now it seemed there was no such liar in the world—someone who, when encountering another person, would bare their heart so openly, letting others see it clearly. In this world, so many people, whether men or women, conceal and test endlessly in matters of love, unwilling to let others see their true feelings, fearing that speaking them aloud would mean losing. Only this person before him was open and honest, without any tricks or schemes, speaking directly and straightforwardly. Like a wild punch knocking down a seasoned master, it made his heart stir for no reason.

Only for her.

But… how could Xu Zhiheng have brought himself to hurt someone like this—someone who so clearly offered her heart?He wasn't angry because of jealousy over He Yan's past; his frustration stemmed more from regret over his own missed opportunities and anger toward Xu Zhiheng. It was like the doe he had released in the mountains as a boy—its damp eyes had gazed at him, brimming with trust and joy, yet Xu Zhiheng had trampled that trust underfoot and severed it with a single stroke.

The more admirable He Yan was, the fiercer the flames of his anger toward Xu Zhiheng burned within him.

Seeing Xiao Jue remain silent for so long, He Yan thought he was still upset. After a moment's thought, she spoke dejectedly, "Or if you have a better idea... I'm no good at music, chess, calligraphy, or painting. Don't make me learn those—I wouldn't be able to anyway. I could help you move stones or chop firewood..."

Before she could finish, Xiao Jue pulled her into his embrace.

"You are who you are. You don't need to do anything for me."

He Yan's head rested against his chin, unable to look up or see the expression on his face.

"But..."

"I don't care for songstresses or dancers, nor do I need a personal attendant. No one dares bully me. I don't touch things I dislike, and I buy what I like myself." Xiao Jue chuckled softly, lowering his head.

"But... wouldn't that make me just a decoration?"

"I didn't fall for you because I wanted another person to order around," his voice fell, seeming both distant and close at once. "Do whatever you wish. There's no need to do it for me."

"You really... don't want anything from me?" He Yan asked.

There had to be something, like obeying the law or respecting elders and caring for the young. Otherwise, if she could do anything, could she even be unfaithful?

Xiao Jue released her and glanced at the distant crowd, smiling before looking down at her. "Not exactly nothing."

"What is it?"

"If I keep watching you," he reached out and took He Yan's hand. The girl's hand was only half the size of his, resting in his palm like a delicate treasure, "He Yan, then you keep watching me too."

He Yan stared at him in a daze.

"Does the young lady He not understand even this?" He raised an eyebrow slightly, the corners of his lips curving into a warm arc. The lantern light reflected in his long eyes, a thousand postures and ten thousand colors, yet clearly, his eyes were the brightest lantern of all.

Time seemed to stand still at that moment. Fireworks bloomed in the distance, their dazzling splendor scattering across the night sky—a perfect lantern-lit evening.

He Yan lowered her head, hiding the fleeting moisture in her eyes, then clasped his hand in return and looked up with a bright smile. "Today is your birthday. I'll agree to whatever you say."

"Xiao Jue, happy birthday," she said.

I'll keep watching you, she silently answered in her heart.

...

When they returned, He Yun Sheng and He Sui were already home.

Qingmei had already told the truth, explaining that it was Xiao Jue's birthday and He Yan had accompanied him to the night market. He Sui didn't say much, but He Yun Sheng was quite displeased. In the time it took for an incense stick to burn, he had already paced back and forth in the room several times.

When He Yan and Xiao Jue returned, seeing their clasped hands, his expression grew even more unpleasant.

He Sui asked, "I heard today is Huaijin's birthday. Have you eaten? Would you like to stay for a bowl of longevity noodles before leaving?"

"We've already eaten," He Yan replied. "Just now, while we were at the night market.""You came empty-handed..." He Sui noticed Xiao Jue wasn't carrying anything and looked suspiciously at He Yan. "Yan Yan, don't tell me you didn't prepare a birthday gift for Huaijin? This child," He Sui laughed, "has been spoiled by me and doesn't understand these social graces. Huaijin, don't take it to heart. I'll have her make it up to you another day."

"No need, Yan Yan has already given me a gift," Xiao Jue replied.

He Yan recalled the scene at the night market earlier, her face flushing slightly as she remained silent. He Sui didn't catch any hidden meaning and, though puzzled, didn't press further. He Yun Sheng, however, glanced warily between He Yan and Xiao Jue, lost in thought.

"It's getting late, you should head back," He Yan said. "If anything comes up, I'll send Chi Wu to find you."

Xiao Jue nodded, bid farewell to He Sui and He Yun Sheng, and left the He residence.

After Xiao Jue departed, He Yun Sheng pulled He Yan into the inner room, closing the door behind them before immediately asking, "Hey, He Yan, when you went out with him, he didn't take advantage of you, did he?"

"What kind of advantage?" He Yan rapped him on the head. "At such a young age, where did you learn to have so many thoughts? Besides, between Xiao Jue and me, who do you think would be taking advantage of whom?"

He Yun Sheng gave her a look. "You think I have nothing better to do than worry about you?"

Seeing the concern in his expression, He Yan sat down and poured herself a cup of tea. "Is this why you're looking so troubled?"

"No," He Yun Sheng sighed. "Today, I heard from some friends at the academy that it seems the Wutuo People are about to enter the capital."

He Yan paused with her teacup. "Who told you that?"

"It's spreading everywhere. The Emperor doesn't want to fight, and the court doesn't want to fight either. I heard the Wutuo People are coming to the capital to sue for peace. It's likely there won't be a war."

He Yan studied his expression. "Do you want a war?"

"Of course not!" He Yun Sheng replied without hesitation. "But if the Wutuo People were truly willing to seek peace, they wouldn't have caused so much trouble in Jiyang, Rundu, and Huayuan before. We're currently in the superior position—why should we give way to the Wutuo People?" Still young and hot-blooded, he frowned. "If it were up to me, I'd seize this opportunity to drive the Wutuo People back to their homeland, making sure they never dare set foot in Great Wei again!"

Though often childish and impulsive, the boy had some spirit.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He Yun Sheng asked. "Aren't you an official now? Do you know what's really happening outside?"

"It's not much different from what you've heard," He Yan replied, not wanting to hide it from him.

"Tch," He Yun Sheng waved a hand dismissively. "I really don't understand what the officials in the court are thinking."

He Yan's heart grew heavy. Setting aside her grudges with the He family and Xu Zhiheng, or the feud between Xiao Jue and Xu Jingfu, even the factional disputes within the court were no simple matter to resolve. As Xu Jingfu's power grew, the conflict between the Fourth Prince and the Crown Prince would only intensify. The Crown Prince was unfit for his position; if he were to inherit the throne in the future, it would surely spell disaster for the people of Great Wei. But if the Fourth Prince were to take the throne... then Shuojing City would inevitably be plunged into another storm of bloodshed.

...

Tonight, the Xu residence was also filled with joy.Chu Linfeng was hosting guests at home. These days, the entire Chu household was busy preparing for Chu Zhao's wedding. Since it was Xu Jingfu's daughter, no expense was spared on the arrangements. Madam Chu was in charge of the wedding preparations, but Xu Pingting had sent her personal maid Motai to frequently inquire about the progress. Even if Madam Chu wanted to meddle, being watched so closely forced her to abandon any such plans.

This single wedding was about to deplete more than half of the Chu family's treasury. Xu Pingting demanded to become the most splendid bride in Shuojing City in the past decade. As Xu Jingfu's treasured daughter, everyone could only indulge her.

In this marriage, Madam Chu naturally harbored deep resentment, and her three sons watched with envy. The only one who genuinely felt happy was probably Shi Jinbo, Chu Linfeng.

Amidst the merriment of wine and conversation, Chu Linfeng patted Chu Zhao's shoulder at the banquet and laughed, "In another month, Miss Xu will enter our Chu family. I, Chu Linfeng, never imagined in my lifetime that we would become in-laws with the Xu family. Truly worthy of being my son—remarkable!"

Winning a woman's favor, in Chu Linfeng's eyes, was a matter of great pride. Little did he know that this smugness appeared particularly grating in Madam Chu's eyes.

When Madam Chu first married into the family, she still held some affection for Chu Linfeng. However, that affection had long been worn away as Chu Linfeng brought concubine after concubine into the household. Knowing her ordinary appearance did not please Chu Linfeng, she no longer sought his affection but only aimed to secure her position as the matriarch.

Over the years, she had done well. Chu Linfeng, aside from his handsome appearance, had no real abilities. If not for the old lady supporting the Shi Jinbo estate back then, the Chu family would likely have been ruined by Chu Linfeng long ago. He adored beauties and showed them pity, but once his interests were truly threatened, he would hide behind the old lady, unwilling to sacrifice even the slightest bit.

He was nothing but a hypocrite—cold-hearted and cowardly, yet convinced of his own deep affection and righteousness.

Perhaps the blood of Chu men was inherently fickle, including her own three sons. Only Chu Zhao... Madam Chu's gaze fell on the young man beside Chu Linfeng.

Chu Zhao's appearance inherited all the best traits of Chu Linfeng and Ye Runmei—gentle yet tinged with a fragile innocence. This fragility made people lower their guard around him, and he naturally won others' favor easily. Xu Pingting, willful and domineering since childhood, had never spoken harshly to Chu Zhao.

But Chu Zhao was an anomaly, far from as harmless as he appeared.

When Chu Zhao was first brought back, Madam Chu never intended for him to survive to adulthood. It was only out of respect for the old lady that she refrained from acting against him. Back then, this child had also humbly sought her favor, pleading like a dog at her knees. And then... he swiftly found Xu Jingfu as his patron, securing his life from then on.

Madam Chu could find no fault with him, and before she knew it, the entire Chu household had to defer to Chu Zhao's wishes. Unwilling to let everything she had be taken by an illegitimate child, she schemed to use Ying Xiang to drive a wedge between Chu Zhao and Xu Pingting. However, Madam Chu never expected Chu Zhao to be so ruthless—not only did he silently send Ying Xiang to the Crown Prince, but he personally escorted her to the Crown Prince's residence in a carriage.

There was no rift between him and Xu Pingting.Madam Chu felt a chill in her heart. A man who could manipulate his emotions at will, toy with people's feelings, yet possess a heart colder than even his own father's—how terrifying it was to be stabbed so gently that the victim couldn't even bring themselves to resent it!

As she was lost in thought, Chu Zhao seemed to sense her gaze and looked over, his eyes brimming with a smile as always. Madam Chu's heart trembled, and she lowered her head, avoiding his gaze.

"Is there anything else Zi Lan needs me to prepare?" Chu Linfeng asked Chu Zhao with a smile. As he grew older and indulged in excess, his once-handsome appearance had long faded. Still, his smiling expression now carried a touch of paternal affection.

"What else does he need to prepare?" the eldest Chu son couldn't help but sneer. "The family is nearly emptied out for his wedding. Are we supposed to sell the estate to fund his marriage?"

Chu Linfeng shot his eldest son a displeased look, his tone equally dissatisfied. "If you could marry the prime minister's daughter, I'd gladly sell the estate!"

The eldest Chu son fell silent.

None of the three brothers could match Chu Zhao's delicate looks, literary talent, or the backing of a prime minister as a mentor. How could they ever hope to marry the prime minister's daughter? Chu Linfeng had always favored Chu Zhao, and now that Chu Zhao was rising rapidly and enjoying good fortune, it was likely that Chu Linfeng would become even more indulgent toward him in the future.

"There's nothing more to prepare," Chu Zhao said calmly. "Everything is already perfect."

"But she's the prime minister's daughter, Miss Xu," Chu Linfeng, slightly drunk, admonished him. "You must not neglect her. It's rare for someone like her to take an interest in you... You must seize this opportunity!"

Madam Chu watched the scene unfold before her, a cold laugh echoing in her heart. Listen to what he was saying—it sounded no different from a brothel madam instructing her girls to cling to generous patrons. Chu Linfeng had built his reputation on women his entire life, and now he was teaching his son to do the same. If word got out, they would become the laughingstock of all Shuojing.

"I think your father is drunk," Madam Chu said, unwilling to watch any longer. She stood up. "Zi Lan, help your father back to his room to rest. I have a headache and will sit in the inner room for a while." With that, she rose from the table, ignoring Chu Linfeng's expression. What was done was done, and there was nothing she could do now. Still, out of sight, out of mind.

Seeing this, the other three Chu sons also stood up. They had no desire to watch Chu Zhao and Chu Linfeng perform their father-son affection either, and they all left. In an instant, the once-lively banquet hall was left in disarray, with cold tea and empty seats.

"Hey, why is everyone leaving?" Chu Linfeng slurred. "Come back!"

No one paid him any attention.

Chu Zhao helped Chu Linfeng to his feet, called a servant to clean up the mess, and then supported his father back to his room.

In recent years, Chu Linfeng no longer stayed in Madam Chu's quarters, instead rotating among the courtyards of his nineteen concubines. Today, however, Chu Zhao did not take him to a concubine's room but to the study.

Chu Linfeng was no scholarly gentleman, and the study was merely a decoration to him. It even contained a soft couch, which, according to the servants, was for Chu Linfeng's occasional daytime dalliances with maids and concubines. Chu Zhao had always turned a blind eye to his father's absurdities. Leaving the servants outside, he helped Chu Linfeng onto the soft couch, where the older man lay down.He seemed particularly cheerful today, his face flushed with joy. Already drunk and reeking of alcohol, he still insisted on holding Chu Zhao’s hand, pouring out his delight. "Zi Lan, you’ve truly made your father proud! I have four sons, but the other three… they’re useless. You’ve always been my favorite. Ever since you were little, I took you to meet friends and attend social gatherings, knowing that one day you would become my pride. Look at you now… about to marry. I’m… I’m overjoyed."

Chu Zhao sat by the soft couch, silently watching him.

"Among the younger generation of the Chu family, you have the best luck… With the prime minister’s support, you’ll only rise higher… Good fortune isn’t something everyone can come by."

The young man smiled mockingly. Good luck? Was he truly lucky? If growing up not knowing who his biological father was, with his mother sold into a brothel, living in constant fear day after day was considered good luck… If witnessing his own mother strangled to death by servants sent by the family was good luck… If sharing a roof with his mother’s murderer, never knowing whether he would live to see tomorrow was good luck… If he couldn’t even control his own life, forced to live as a dog under the powerful, a puppet-like existence, unable to even have the woman he loved—if all that was called good luck…

Then he, Chu Zilan, was the sole possessor of such "good fortune" in this world.

"Father," he heard his own voice say, "do you still remember my mother?"

Chu Linfeng let out a drunken hiccup and mumbled, "Your mother… who’s your mother?" With that, he turned over, facing the wall, and fell into a deep sleep.

Chu Zhao gazed at his face for a moment before letting out a self-deprecating laugh. He stood up and walked out of the study.

A servant asked if he wanted hot tea, but he shook his head in refusal.

He walked slowly. As a child, he had thought the Chu family estate was enormous, with hidden dangers lurking in every corner. Now that he was grown, walking through it again, he realized it wasn’t so imposing after all.

The winter in Shuojing City was as cold as ever. Just like when he first arrived at the Chu family and saw that handsome man, a flicker of hope had stirred within him, only to be extinguished by the man’s subsequent indifference and coldness.

It seemed just as cold now, but he no longer shivered as he had in his youth. Not because the winter had grown warmer, but because he had long grown accustomed to the chill.

Anyone could grow accustomed to it.

Chu Zhao returned to his room and closed the door. Inside, an unfamiliar maid approached with a smile. "The wedding invitations have all been sent out, Fourth Young Master."

He waved his hand gently and replied, "Thank you for your trouble."

The maid’s face lit up with joy before she withdrew, leaving him alone in the room.

The Xu family wanted the wedding to take place before the New Year, which seemed rushed, but everyone knew Chu Zhao was destined to marry Xu Pingting sooner or later. Everything about the wedding had long been arranged. Just as when he was young and became a disciple of Xu Jingfu—from that moment on, his fate was no longer his own.

The brazier in the room glowed with a reddish light, casting an illusion of warmth. Suddenly, he remembered a certain spring day when someone had spent eight copper coins to buy him a red sugar flower basket with his name written on it.

He suddenly missed that flower basket dearly.

A servant entered, interrupting his thoughts, and whispered, "Fourth Young Master, Prime Minister Xu is growing anxious. The person he’s been searching for from the Battle of Ming River still hasn’t been found."Chu Zhao shifted his gaze away from the burning furnace and spoke unhurriedly, "No need to overthink it. Those two have undoubtedly fallen into Xiao Huaijin's hands."

"A message has also come from Miss Ying Xiang. The Crown Prince is quite fond of her now and holds considerable dissatisfaction toward Xu Xiang."

"Those who believe victory is within their grasp naturally harbor resentment toward anyone who tries to interfere," Chu Zhao said with a faint smile. "Xiao Huaijin has returned to the capital. The Crown Prince has long since formed a secret alliance with the Wutuo People. The Xu family is nearing its end."

"Congratulations, Fourth Young Master," the servant said happily. "You are about to achieve your heart's desire. After this, whatever you wish for will naturally be within your grasp."

"What I wish for?" He was taken aback for a moment, then after a long pause, said, "What I wish for already belongs to someone else."

(End of Chapter)