Chapter 227: Jealousy
Before He Yan could speak, Xiao Jue glanced at her, turned, and walked away.
The lantern in front of her hadn’t been taken down yet, but He Yan couldn’t care less. She hurriedly pushed through the crowd to follow him. The craftsman behind her was taken aback and called out, “Miss, you forgot your lantern!”
But there was no response.
He Xinying also heard the craftsman’s shout and instinctively followed his gaze, catching sight of a familiar figure hurrying away.
Her heart skipped a beat—that figure looked exactly like the Marquis of Wu’an, He Yan, whom she had encountered earlier at the Jade Splendor Temple.
For some reason, though she had only met He Yan once, the impression was particularly vivid. Xu Zhiheng beside her asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” He Xinying snapped back to reality. “Let’s look at the lanterns.” But her heart was uneasy.
Since marrying Xu Zhiheng, whenever he had time, he would accompany her to stroll through the night market. Recently, Xu Zhiheng had been busy with official duties and hadn’t come for two months. Yesterday, when she returned to the Xu residence, Xu Zhiheng unexpectedly offered to accompany her for a while. In the past, He Xinying would have been overjoyed, but now, walking beside Xu Zhiheng, she felt no excitement, only tension.
Her mother’s illness, the assassin that night, the military strategy books hidden in her deceased elder sister’s bedpost—each was enough to arouse suspicion. Yet she could do nothing and had to pretend to know nothing.
She stared at the dazzling array of lanterns before her, but her mind was filled with the figure that had hurried away moments earlier, weighed down by worries.
…
The crowd was dense, and He Yan struggled to grab hold of Xiao Jue’s sleeve. “Slow down,” she said. “There are so many people here. If we get separated, it’ll take forever to find you. I’ve already been stepped on several times.”
He kept walking forward without looking back, though his steps did slow slightly.
Amid the bustling crowd, He Yan used the strength she’d honed from throwing stone locks to clutch his sleeve, nearly tearing it as they finally made their way out of the crowd to the riverside.
“Xiao Jue,” He Yan stared at him and asked, “Are you angry?”
Xiao Jue remained silent.
He was turned slightly away, and He Yan couldn’t see his expression clearly. She stood on her tiptoes, leaning closer to get a better look, but Xiao Jue blocked her with his arm, pushing her away.
“Are you really angry?” He Yan said. “I was just…”
“He Yan,” Xiao Jue interrupted her, staring directly at her, his voice low. “Do you…”
He Yan looked at him.
“Still have lingering feelings for Xu Zhiheng?”
“Cough, cough, cough—” She choked and coughed violently.
“Don’t joke!” He Yan denied it outright. “You know what he did. How could I possibly have lingering feelings for him?”
“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow, his gaze sharp. “So, there was ‘feelings’ in the past?”
He Yan nearly choked on her breath, stunned by Xiao Jue’s question. What kind of question was this? No matter how she answered, it seemed wrong. After hesitating for a moment, she whispered, “There weren’t any in the past either.”
Xiao Jue lowered his gaze to look at her, expressionless. He Yan felt guilty under his stare and carefully chose her words to lie. “You know, with arranged marriages and parental orders, I had no choice in my past life. After switching back to my identity with He Rufei, I naturally did whatever my family said… The He family arranged for me to marry Xu Zhiheng, so I married him. I didn’t… have feelings.”He Yan inexplicably felt the guilt of an adulterer caught by her husband, her head aching with the trouble. She had merely glanced at Xu Zhiheng a moment longer under the lantern light—who knew it would stir up such a mess? But thinking it over, it seemed she was the one more at fault. After all, Xiao Jue had never had any other girl before her.
“But I heard you were quite happy when you married Xu Zhiheng,” he said, gazing calmly at the river below the railing.
He Yan shuddered. “Who said that? Spreading such rumors behind my back—their intentions are unforgivable!”
Xiao Jue gave her a faint glance. He Yan stiffened for a moment before drooping her head. “Alright… before I knew what kind of person he was, there was… a little bit.” She gestured with her pinky and thumb. “Just this much, as small as an ant, easily crushed underfoot.”
Xiao Jue laughed in exasperation, his tone lazy. “Then tell me, why did you like him? Even if you didn’t know what he was like, your taste,” he glanced at He Yan, “was far below average.”
Was he insulting Xu Zhiheng or herself? He Yan thought to herself. She hadn’t noticed it before, but when the young master truly lost his temper, he was terribly difficult to placate. Why ask such an embarrassing question? It was no different from slicing someone apart with a knife. Yet the person before her kept his gaze fixed on her, his beautiful eyes filled with scrutiny.
He Yan sighed. “At that time, I just thought he was a good person.”
Xiao Jue’s smile turned mocking.
“Do you remember that time during the East Mountain hunt when you secretly gave me a rabbit?” He Yan asked.
“Mm.”
“To please the emperor, the instructors at Virtuous Prosperity Academy made the students compete wholeheartedly and set a rule: if you didn’t catch any game, you couldn’t eat—you’d go hungry for an entire day.”
Even now, thinking about it made He Yan indignant. “Whoever made that rule must have been sick. Even death row prisoners get a full meal, but just because someone didn’t catch any game, they’d impose such an inhumane punishment… That day, even though you gave me a rabbit, I let it go. I didn’t catch any game at all.”
In summer, it might have been bearable, but going hungry in heavy snow was truly miserable. When the hunt ended, He Yan watched the young men around her returning in small groups, laden with game, and felt utterly wretched.
It was then that she met Xu Zhiheng.
Back then, Xu Zhiheng was also just a youth of fifteen or sixteen, dressed in blue robes, looking refined and gentle. He Yan, hungry and weak, trudged toward where their belongings were stored. The snow on the ground was deep. She had gone to the hunting grounds in the morning and didn’t emerge until dusk, utterly exhausted. Unaware of a stone buried in the snow, she accidentally kicked it, stumbled, and half her body plunged into the snow, unable to get up for a while.
Just as she was floundering in the snow, she suddenly heard a voice from ahead: “Are you alright?”
He Yan looked up and saw a young man in blue robes.
He seemed unfamiliar—likely not a student of Virtuous Prosperity Academy. But that day, students from other academies had also joined the hunt. He was probably from one of them.
While He Yan was still dazed, the young man smiled and reached out to grab her hand. “Let me help you,” he said, pulling her up from the snow.
She was still wearing her mask, cold against her face, but the young man’s hand was warm.
“My name is Xu Zhiheng. Are you from Virtuous Prosperity Academy, brother?”He Yan nodded vaguely.
"I heard the rules at Virtuous Prosperity Academy are very strict. If you don't catch any prey today, you'll have to go hungry," Xu Zhiheng said, glancing at her empty hands. "It's a pity I didn't go hunting, otherwise I could have shared some prey with you."
At Virtuous Prosperity Academy, she was considered somewhat of a loner, without many friends. Because of her mask, others found her rather unapproachable and kept their distance. This was the first time she had encountered someone so warm-hearted. For a moment, she didn't know what to say.
"Are you going over there to get your bundle?" Xu Zhiheng asked. "Let me help you. You look like you can barely walk."
He Yan was about to decline, but as soon as she lifted her foot, a sharp pain shot through her ankle—it seemed she had twisted it earlier. Thinking this, she gave the young man a slight nod and said sheepishly, "Thank you." She then pointed to the red bundle. "That one is mine."
Xu Zhiheng turned and went to the high platform to retrieve He Yan's bundle. After bringing it back and handing it to her, he helped her all the way to the carriage where the Virtuous Prosperity Academy students were seated before leaving.
At that time, as He Yan watched Xu Zhiheng's retreating figure, she thought the young man was truly warm and considerate.
When she returned to Virtuous Prosperity Academy, it was indeed a day without food. He Yan hid alone in her room, pouring herself some hot tea. The more she drank, the hungrier she felt, her stomach growling incessantly.
But what could she do? The rules at Virtuous Prosperity Academy were the strictest. Besides, she truly hadn't caught anything, and she couldn't bring herself to beg for food anyway. After sitting for a while, He Yan sighed helplessly and picked up her bundle, intending to put away the paper and brushes she had carried during the day. As soon as she opened the bundle, two golden-yellow loquats rolled out.
How could there be loquats at this time of year?
He Yan was taken aback. She instinctively picked up the loquats—they were large and heavy, with a faint, sweet fragrance. The bundle had been left on the high platform the entire time. During the hunt, the students only carried quivers and arrows for convenience. After thinking it over, the only person who could have touched the bundle was that young man in blue named Xu Zhiheng.
She peeled one of the loquats and took a small bite. The fruit was sweet. Remembering the young man's face and smile from earlier, she felt that her luck that day wasn't so bad after all.
Several years later, after He Yan returned from the battlefield and swapped identities back with He Rufei, when Lady He informed her that a marriage had been arranged for her and the other party's name was Xu Zhiheng, He Yan felt not only shock but also a flicker of secret delight. Marriages for the women of the He family had always been stepping stones for the men. Compared to marrying a complete stranger, marrying Xu Zhiheng was clearly the best choice among all her options.
Regardless of how people outside praised Young Master Xu for his talent and achievements at a young age, in He Yan's heart, she believed that since Xu Zhiheng had been so caring and considerate to a stranger when he was just a teenager, he must be a good person. At that time, she held many expectations for this marriage. Even though Xu Zhiheng later favored He Wanru, and He Wanru constantly flaunted her status in front of her, He Yan still clung to some illusions about Xu Zhiheng because of those two loquats from their youth.
Until she went blind, until Xu Zhiheng personally shattered those illusions bit by bit.
"So," Xiao Jue said with amusement, "you liked him because of two loquats?""Sort of," He Yan replied. "I just think that someone who can be so considerate of others' feelings and see through their awkward situations must at least be a good person."
"Your affections are truly fickle," Xiao Jue scoffed, walking ahead. After a few steps, he paused and added coldly, "Those two loquats were from me."
He Yan froze.
He had already continued toward the riverbank. After a moment of stunned silence, He Yan hurried after him, grabbing his sleeve. "How is that possible? You're lying, aren't you?"
Xiao Jue looked down at her, his gaze calm.
Back then, when Lin Shuanghe suggested giving He Yan a rabbit, he had reluctantly shot one out of annoyance. But He Yan had released it, reminding him of his own childhood experiences in the mountains, which made him view this seemingly unremarkable youth in a different light. He also knew that students who failed to hunt anything that day would go hungry for a full day upon returning to the Virtuous Prosperity Academy.
As the top hunter of the day, Xiao Jue had received many rewards. Even the palace had bestowed imperial delicacies, among which were two loquats.
Loquats at this time of year were not something one could easily find. He had little interest in such sweet fruits to begin with. As he was leaving, he passed by the high platform and noticed a red bundle in the corner, vaguely recalling that it belonged to "He Rufei."
That fellow had caught nothing that day and would have to endure a hungry night in the winter cold, which would be particularly harsh. Glancing at the imperial food basket in his hand, he remembered the first time he had encountered "He Rufei" at the academy, seeing him standing under a loquat tree, jumping repeatedly in a comical attempt to pluck the fruit. After a moment's thought, he stopped, took the two loquats from the basket, and tucked them into the red bundle.
He Yan stammered, "No way... it was really you?"
Xiao Jue watched her silently.
He Yan thought to herself, This is bad. It's as if Xiao Jue did a good deed, only for Xu Zhiheng to take the credit. How could he possibly feel at ease with such a twist of fate? But at this critical moment, how can I calm his anger?
"Today is your birthday, and I forgot to bring the lantern earlier. What gift would you like..." she clumsily changed the subject, spotting a vendor selling candied hawthorns on the street across the way. "Wait here," she said, rushing over to buy a stick before running back and offering it to Xiao Jue. "For you!"
Xiao Jue turned his head away.
He might truly be angry now.
He Yan was at a loss. The past could not be undone—she had indeed been fond of Xu Zhiheng and had even married him, while Xiao Jue had not. She had never experienced what Xiao Jue was feeling now, but she understood all too well that it must be an unpleasant sensation.
She circled around him. "Xiao Jue? Xiao Jue?"
Xiao Jue avoided her gaze, focusing instead on the murmuring river flowing beneath the railing.
At some point, a light snow began to fall, the flakes drifting down onto them. Away from the bustling night market crowd, He Yan finally began to feel the cold. Suddenly, she remembered what Qingmei had said to her before she left.
He Yan glanced at Xiao Jue, who still refused to look at her. She let out an exaggerated "Achoo!" and muttered to herself, "It's so cold."
The next moment, warmth descended upon her as Xiao Jue turned around, removed his cloak, and draped it over her shoulders. Finally, he was willing to look at her again.
Seizing the opportunity, He Yan leaned in closer. "Not angry anymore?"Xiao Jue helped her tie the strings of the cloak in front, still ignoring her.
His cloak was large, almost enveloping He Yan entirely. Afraid he might be cold, she leaned in close to Xiao Jue, just like that drunken night, nearly pressing against him. Tilting her head up, she teased him, "Commander Xiao, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mistaken someone for you. Today is your birthday, don't be angry, okay? Smile for me? If you don’t want to smile... how about a bite of candied hawthorn?"
She raised the candied hawthorn toward his lips, but suddenly, her hand was grasped.
He Yan froze, instinctively looking up, meeting his shimmering dark eyes.
The youth’s features had shed the delicacy of his younger years, like moonlight on snowy mountains—clear, clean, and strikingly beautiful, flawless as fine jade.
With one hand, he pulled He Yan closer, encircling her in his arms, and leaned down to kiss her.
Repeatedly testing the boundaries of censorship.
Though I have no idea how to continue in the next chapter without getting censored.
This is too hard for me. ?_?
(End of Chapter)
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