Whеn sрring аrrivеd with blоoming flowеrs, hеr brоthеr-in-lаw arranged а mаrriage рropоsаl fоr hеr. Shе wаs unwilling to marrу.
“It’s a marriage in name оnlу!” her sistеr eхрlаinеd. “Lin Shisheng hаd а сhildhооd sweеtheart he wаs еngagеd to, and the wеdding date wаs alreаdу sеt. Вut thеn hеr fаther got intо trоuble, аnd thе girl lоst her stаtus. Thе оfficial hаndling thе cаse is your brоther-in-law’s seniоr соlleаgue, who sought hеlр thrоugh yоur brоthеr-in-lаw. Lin Shishеng’s fаmily hоlds а herеditarу fourth-rank militаry роsitiоn. Hе inhеritеd thе post at fiftеen and is excеptionallу caрablе—nоw he’s thе Left Army Commander of the Imperial Guard, a third-rank official…”
“That makes it even worse!” she interrupted, shaking her head vigorously. “If I marry him out of obligation, he’ll likely resent me. Why turn a benefactor into an enemy? Besides, I don’t want to marry at all…”
Her sister smiled and said, “This was Lin Shisheng’s own suggestion.”
She was stunned.
Her sister patiently explained: “Even if his fiancée is rescued, her father’s scandal is too big to hide from. How could she marry Lin Shisheng as his lawful wife? Knowing this, and unwilling to let his fiancée suffer, Lin Shisheng came up with this plan—you’d be his wife in name only. After a year, on the grounds of having no children, you would arrange for him to take his fiancée as a concubine. You’d keep the status of the principal wife, ensuring support in old age and ancestral offerings after death. His beloved would become his wife in practice, bearing his children and fulfilling their wishes. How could that turn a benefactor into an enemy? In fact, we’d be doing him a great favor!”
She still disagreed. “But I’d still be occupying the position of his wife!”
If Lin Shisheng tried anything, she’d have nowhere to turn for help.
Her sister fell silent for a long moment, then sighed softly.
Suddenly, commotion erupted outside.
Chixiang peered anxiously from the doorway.
Her sister smiled and said, “Rest for now. We’ll discuss this later,” then stood to leave.
Sensing something amiss, she grabbed her sister’s hand. “Is something wrong? Don’t hide it from me. I’ll find out anyway if I send someone to inquire.”
Her sister hesitated, her expression troubled. “Cheng Xu has been causing trouble lately. I may have accidentally revealed my whereabouts, and he might have tracked me here.”
Was that why her sister was so eager to marry her off?
She immediately declared, “Then I’ll marry Lin Shisheng!”
Her sister now hesitated. “Earlier, I was too hasty. Hearing your concerns, it seems like patching one hole only to create another—not necessarily a perfect solution. Rest for now. I’ll deal with the unwelcome guest.”
She watched her sister leave the inner chamber with a smile.
The noise outside grew louder.
At first, she hid under the covers, but as the disturbance dragged on, she grew worried her sister might be mistreated. She asked Madam Fan Liu to help her outside. Madam Fan Liu refused at first but eventually relented. “The master has also arrived. The eldest young lady will be fine.”
She asked anxiously, “What did Father say?”
“The master and the eldest young lady went to the study,” Madam Fan Liu replied. “With the eldest young lady there, the master won’t blame you.”
True—her father wouldn’t blame her, but he might blame her sister!
How could she stay put?
Leaning on Madam Fan Liu, she made her way to the study.
Chixiang and others stood far off in the covered corridor.She signaled to Chixiang and the others not to make a sound, then quietly walked over.
Her father's voice faintly came from inside the room: "...You're getting bolder and bolder! How dare you make such an important decision on your own?! What if something happens to Shaojin in the future? Who in this world dares claim they can handle everything perfectly without ever making a mistake? Can you guarantee that everything you've done is right? Can you guarantee that Shaojin will never lack food or clothing and won't be bullied by others?"...
Her father's questioning grew increasingly severe, while her sister's voice was filled with grievance and helplessness: "Father, I... I had no choice! I couldn't just watch Shaojin hang herself, could I? I might stop her once, but could I stop her twice, three times? Besides..."
Her sister's voice dropped so low she couldn't hear clearly, but her father's voice thundered like a sudden clap: "What did you say? Say it again!"
She couldn't help but press her ear against the door.
"Shaojin, she... she hemorrhaged badly... she can never bear children again..." her sister choked out in a low voice.
She was stunned, feeling only a sense of surprise.
Perhaps it was because she was still young then, and she didn't feel sorrow or grief.
"Slap!" A crisp sound of a slap echoed in the room, followed by her father's furious roar: "You wretched creature! Look at the mess you've made! You might as well have taken a rope and strangled your sister to death!"
That slap felt as if it had landed on her own face; those harsh words pierced her heart like thorns.
Unable to hold back, she rushed in and stood between her father and her sister: "Father, this was all my idea. It has nothing to do with my sister. If you want to hit someone, hit me. If you want to scold someone, scold me. My sister only agreed because she couldn't persuade me otherwise. None of this is her fault!"
Her father looked at her with a complex expression, then at her sister, before turning away in anger: "I won't interfere in your affairs anymore. You two can handle things yourselves!"
She turned and gently touched her sister's already reddening cheek, her heart aching as she asked, "Does it hurt?"
"No, it doesn't!" Her sister shook her head, tears glistening in her eyes. "It doesn't hurt."
How could it not hurt?
Especially after being scolded so harshly by their father.
She called out loudly to Madam Fan Liu to bring in some water, saying, "Applying ice water will help a lot."
But her sister stopped Madam Fan Liu and said, "You're not well. Go back to your room and lie down. I'll come to keep you company in a moment."
"Where are you going, Sister?" she asked anxiously, clutching her sister's arm.
"Silly girl!" Her sister patted her head and smiled. "Father slapped me. If I don't show my face in front of the Cheng family, how will they ever give up? Don't worry. Father isn't really blaming us. This is just his way of giving the Cheng family an explanation."
She didn't believe it.
Her sister had always been good at putting on a brave face in front of her.
But she thought it might be good to give the Cheng family an explanation this way.
Yet Cheng Xu was still causing trouble.
She was afraid the Liao family would find out.
She asked her sister, "What about the marriage arrangement with the Lin family?"
Her sister replied, "Your brother-in-law and I have discussed it. We think it's better to find you a better match!"
She trusted her sister and didn't ask further.
Who would have thought Lin Shisheng would come knocking at their door?
He was tall, handsome, and dignified, with bright and sincere eyes.
She didn't like him.
After all, weren't Cheng Lu and Cheng Xu also handsome, gentle as jade, humble, and sincere in appearance?
Lin Shisheng seemed to know what she was worried about. He handed her a document and said, "If you don't believe me, we can put it in writing."She drove Lin Shisheng out.
Her elder sister soon rushed over, panting as she asked, "What did Lin Shisheng say to you?"
She handed her sister the document she hadn’t yet torn up.
Her sister sighed softly, folded the document, and tucked it into her sleeve.
Lin Shisheng returned, asking to see her sister.
Her sister advised her, "Why don’t you consider it?"
If Lin Shisheng had been more ordinary-looking, she might have felt safer.
She shook her head.
"Then I’ll go and turn Lin Shisheng away." Her sister stood up, but before she could leave the room, Chixiang ran in and said, "Madam, that Master Lin and Master Cheng Xu have started fighting."
Her sister hurried out, but she grabbed her sister’s sleeve and said, "Sister, agree to the Lin family’s marriage proposal in front of that person!"
"But?" Her sister frowned.
She said, "Rather than marrying someone and having to hide everything, it’s better to marry Lin Shisheng openly and honestly."…
Her sister thought for a long time before finally replying, "Alright."
And so, she married into the Lin family. A year later, she arranged a concubine for Lin Shisheng and moved to the Lin family’s country estate to recuperate.
But when Lin Shisheng brought his newborn son to visit her, and she gazed at the soft, tender infant with eyes as clear as a clear sky, tinged with a faint blue, her heart suddenly twisted in pain, and she regretted it.
If that child had lived, wouldn’t it have looked just like this?
It would have nestled softly in her arms, opened its eyes wide to gaze at her curiously, and sucked on its little finger, unwilling to let go… Even though the child was Cheng Xu’s, she had given birth to it, and it carried half of her blood!
That night, her tears soaked her pillow.
But she couldn’t say anything, couldn’t speak of it, not even show the slightest hint of abnormality—in the spring of the year she married, her sister and brother-in-law’s first child miscarried, and after that, her sister was never able to conceive again.
If her sister knew she regretted what had happened back then, where would that leave her sister? What would all the suffering her sister endured mean then?
She remembered the words her sister had spoken that day—if there is any retribution, let it fall upon me.
Could this be the retribution?
The sin that should have been visited upon her had instead fallen upon her sister and brother-in-law!
How innocent her sister and brother-in-law were, bearing a guilt they should never have had to carry.
Not only could she not regret it, she had to forget it all, act as if those things had never happened, live well, live joyfully.
But in the still of the night, she couldn’t help but think of that child, of the night she lost it… as if tightly bound by vines, she lay awake, unable to breathe.
She began to fast and chant Buddhist prayers, begging the Bodhisattva to forgive her sins, to bless her sister and brother-in-law with many descendants, to let any retribution fall upon her alone… until five years later, when her sister gave birth with difficulty to her nephew Liao Chengfang, she finally breathed a sigh of relief.
Now, the bloodstain on her fingertip dredged up those memories again. Years of endurance shattered like a broken water vessel, and the deeply buried secret spilled out. Zhou Shaojin couldn’t tell whether she was in her past life or this one, and she broke down into hysterical sobs.
As if this could carve an outlet for the pain that had long been lodged in her chest, so that the grief, regret, self-blame, and guilt wouldn’t feel so crushing."Sister, sister," she sobbed uncontrollably on Zhou Chujin's shoulder, "I regret it so much, so much... but I can't tell anyone... I was the one who didn't want that child... I was afraid telling you would make you sad... No matter how many sutras I chant or how much vegetarian food I eat, I can never wash away the sin on my soul... Why won't the Bodhisattva take me... Why must I suffer this torment again..."
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I saw some readers commenting that I seem indifferent to those who support my book, which made me a bit sad. For me, readers' opinions are very important. Sometimes, after reading your comments, I go back to check for omissions and fill in details I previously overlooked. It is precisely because of your feedback that my writing becomes more logical. This time, I might have been inconsiderate, thinking everyone was an old friend and that following the old ways would suffice, but I forgot new friends are constantly joining.
As I explained earlier, I was almost unemployed in the first half of the year. After returning to work, there were many tasks left undone—some were handled by colleagues, while others I had to catch up on myself. Additionally, our unit is aiming to upgrade its archives to provincial-level excellence this year. Just the financial archives alone require sorting from 1998 onward. The archives bureau is extremely busy and hasn't yet scheduled a time to help our unit organize the archives. Meanwhile, the administrative and professional archives need to be sorted by us. With the inspection date approaching, I'm terribly anxious and restless. I originally wanted to postpone starting the new story for another month, but the outline for the new story was ready in February, and the thought of it made me itch to write. I couldn't resist and started it anyway.
As a result, I couldn't neglect my work at the unit, and the new story wasn't written well either. I truly had no energy or time to manage the comment section, only sneaking glances on my phone during work hours. If this made anyone feel unhappy, I sincerely apologize!
I will try to appoint a moderator to maintain the comment section as soon as possible.
Once again, thank you all for your continuous support!
P.S.: Thank you to the friends who recommended "Jinling Spring"—its collection count has increased significantly!
oo~
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