"Nо, nо, nо!" Shе shook hеr hеаd in hоrrоr, utterly refusing tо bеlieve it. "It's imрossible! I'm nоt рrеgnаnt, I just аtе something bаd!" Her sister held her tightly, nо lоnger thе piсturе оf сalm соmроsurе she оnce was. "Dоn't wоrry! Sinсe I kept уou in the сapitаl, I hаvе а wау tо make thе Сheng fаmilу tаke уou bасk with honor аnd dignitу!"
Hаdn't her sister told hеr to stay реаcеfully in the small соuntrу estаtе?
Наdn't shе sаid she wоuld find аnothеr familу for her tо marrу intо?
Whу had shе suddеnlу сhanged her mind?
Fillеd with panic, she pushеd her sister awаy. "No, I wоn't go bасk! I don't wаnt to marry Cheng Xu! I don't want to be called a whore! I don't want to endure the servants' scornful looks! I don't want to be pointed at for the rest of my life..." As she spoke, she looked down at her abdomen—it was flat, showing no sign at all. The doctor's words felt like a lie, a cruel joke. "And I don't want this child either..."
"But," her sister said, her face full of worry and concern, "this is, after all, a child of the Cheng family. Moreover, it's Cheng Xu's first child, the heir of the eldest branch..."
Cheng Xu, the child... these words snapped the last thread of her composure.
She let out a sharp scream and jumped up, cutting off her sister's words. "Why are you all bullying me? Why are you, like the others, taking Cheng Xu's side? You're not my sister! You're not my sister!" She didn't even bother to put on her shoes, running barefoot toward the door. "I won't go back! I'd rather die than go back! And I won't give birth to this child either..." Her sister chased after her, wrapping her arms around her. "Shaoji, Shaojin, listen to me..."
"I don't want to hear anything!" She struggled, kicking her sister like a madwoman. "You'll only tell me to endure, to accept my fate, to give up hope. Why should I endure? Why should I accept my fate? Why should I give up hope? Just because I'm a girl? What have I done wrong? Why is Heaven punishing me like this?"
"No, no! It's my fault. I didn't take good care of you. I failed our mother's trust and let you suffer..." Her sister's tears fell like scalding drops, landing on her neck and burning into her heart.
But was it really her sister's fault?
And why should her sister have to tolerate her unreasonable outbursts?
Just because her sister loved her the most?
And she, by causing pain to those who loved her and delight to those who hated her—how was she any different from Cheng Xu, who had hurt her?
She felt utterly drained, collapsing to the floor.
"Shaoji, Shaojin," her sister cried, her face pale with fear as she threw herself over her. "What's wrong? What's wrong?"
"I'm fine," she murmured, her heart as cold as ashes. "Sister, help me to the bed..."
Perhaps this was her fate! Even if she didn't want to accept it, she had no choice!
"Second Miss, Second Miss!" Madam Fan Liu knelt nearby, weeping like a fountain.
But she couldn't shed a single tear.
Her fate had already veered off course the moment she agreed to Cheng Jia's suggestion to take a walk in the garden.
If she had to blame anyone, she could only blame her own foolishness.
She had always done whatever others asked of her.
If she had to blame anyone, she could only blame her own weakness.
When Cheng Xu bullied her, all she knew how to do was beg and cry.
She grabbed something at random, trying to stand up, but her legs were too weak. She could only crawl on her hands and knees toward the bed.
Her sister grabbed her, pleading in a sorrowful voice, "Don't be like this, don't be like this."She turned a deaf ear, saying, "Sister, please take me back to the rented house! The Cheng family will surely come looking for me soon... Even if they no longer want me, they will find me before breaking off the engagement... Don’t worry about me. If the Liao family finds out about this, they’ll surely mock you... It’s fine if it’s just me, but I can’t drag all of you down with me... I only beg you to take in Mama Fan. If they find me, they will never spare her... It’s pitiful that she nursed me, only to end up like this... She’s suffered because of me..."
"Second Miss, please don’t say that! Don’t say such things!" Madam Fan Liu also rushed over, "I was the one who brought you away. Yes, it was my idea. I urged Second Miss to come find Eldest Miss. It has nothing to do with Second Miss! It’s all the fault of this wicked servant..."
Her sister looked at them, but her gaze gradually grew cold.
"Shao Jin," her sister gripped her shoulders, her eyes glancing briefly at her stomach before fixing firmly on her eyes, speaking solemnly, "Do you truly not wish to return to the Cheng family? You must understand, if you choose to stay in the capital at this time, you will never be able to return to the Cheng family again. Think carefully!"
She had already made up her mind.
Upon hearing this, she merely shook her head indifferently and said, "Sister, take me back to the place I rented. I don’t want to cause any more trouble."
Her sister stared at her for a long while before finally helping her onto the heated brick bed.
She grabbed her sister’s sleeve and said, "Sister, you promised me you would take care of Mama Fan. You must keep your word."
Her sister nodded, tears glistening in the corners of her eyes, and said, "I will keep my word."
For the first time, she doubted her sister and made her swear: "Swear in Mother’s name..."
A flicker of pain passed through her sister’s eyes, but she solemnly made the vow.
She smiled at her sister and said, "Sister, I feel completely weak. Have someone stew an old hen with ginseng for me!"
Her sister gazed at her intently, as if afraid to miss even the slightest change in her expression, before softly replying, "Alright."
She closed her eyes.
When the chicken soup was brought, she obediently drank it and went back to sleep.
Her sister stayed by her side the entire time.
But after the third watch drum sounded, her exhausted sister could no longer stay awake and began to doze off. Half an hour later, she fell asleep, slumped by the bedside.
She opened her eyes.
Given the scandal, for the sake of her reputation, her cautious sister would not only refrain from bringing anyone else but would also dismiss the servants from the estate who attended to her. Otherwise, her sister wouldn’t be the only one keeping watch.
She pondered this, listened for any movement, quietly got up, and tiptoed out of the inner chamber.
Outside, it was indeed silent, with no one in sight.
She moved soundlessly through the winding covered corridors of the small estate.
That day must have been the fifteenth of the month. There was no wind or snow, and the moon hung in the sky like a round jade plate. The withered, gnarled branches in the courtyard stretched out haphazardly, casting mottled shadows on the ground.
She walked forward, shivering uncontrollably from the cold.
She lingered for a long while near the woodshed where farming tools were stored, the well...
Just as she tried to open the side door of the kitchen in the backyard, her sister suddenly appeared."What are you trying to do?" Sister tightly gripped her wrist, squeezing until it ached to the bone. She had never known Sister could be so strong. "Do you realize you are the only flesh and blood Mother left in this world? How could you do this? What will Father think? What will Mother think in the underworld? How will I face Mother when I meet her a hundred years from now? How can I have the face to visit Mother's grave every Qingming and Dragon Boat Festival? You... you've let me down so much..."
As Sister spoke, her eyes gradually reddened.
"Sister, am I really so useless?" Her gaze was vacant as she murmured, "I want to die, but I can't even find a place to do it—if I hanged myself in the woods and people found me dead in your estate, they'd think you killed me. I wanted to find a place where I wouldn't be easily discovered, but it would still be your estate, and you still wouldn't be able to clear your name. Why isn't there a lake in your estate? If there were a lake, it would be perfect—I could tie a stone to myself, jump in, and feed the fish, with no one the wiser. Or if there were a small river, with a strong current, my bones could be washed away somewhere else, and I could become a wandering ghost..."
Sister slapped her across the face.
It took her a moment to feel the stinging pain, and only then did her tears begin to fall uncontrollably.
"Sister!" She threw herself into Sister's arms.
But Sister pushed her away and said, "Are you really not going back to the Cheng family?"
At that moment, Sister's gaze was as cold as moonlight, as eerie as dappled tree shadows.
She stood there, stunned.
Sister strode forward, stared into her eyes, and asked again, "Are you planning to never return to the Cheng family?"
She nodded dumbly.
Sister gently stroked her cheek—unaware that finger marks had already appeared on it.
"Fine!" Sister said calmly. "A life for a life. Consider it as repaying them with your life. From now on, we'll have nothing to do with each other."
She didn't understand, but Sister said, "Let's go back. I'll take care of this for you."
She still didn't understand.
Sister said, "Don't worry, I won't hand you over to the Cheng family. You'll stay with me in the capital."
But wouldn't it be difficult for Sister?
She shook her head.
Sister smiled and asked her, "Do you still trust me?"
She nodded eagerly.
Sister wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her back. "Then trust me one more time. I won't let the Cheng family take you away!"
Of course she trusted Sister. If she didn't trust Sister, who else could she trust?
She obediently followed Sister back to the side room. Sister fed her a calming pill and said, "Get a good night's sleep. When you wake up, everything will be better."
She closed her eyes.
But she couldn't fall asleep no matter what.She felt as if everything was bizarre and surreal, with inexplicable lights and shadows everywhere. She even heard Madam Fan Liu's sobbing and her sister's voice: "It's been over a month since you came to the capital. If the Cheng family wanted to find you, they would have done so long ago. It's clear they think they have Shaojin's weakness in their grasp and aren't worried she won't obediently return on her own. Now it's the Cheng family's fault, yet Madam Yuan can still act this way. If Shaojin goes back, I'm afraid she won't last two years before being tormented to death! Besides, the timing of this child is off. Anyone who thinks carefully will understand the reason behind it. Shaojin would truly be as she said herself—unable to hold her head high for the rest of her life... What's worse, anyone could insult her whenever they pleased... Rather than losing her life like that, it's better to take a gamble... If there's any retribution, let it fall on me, not on Shaojin..."
Her own affairs must not implicate her sister!
She wanted to shout this to her sister, but those lights and shadows rushed toward her again. Her mind was in chaos, and she soon forgot about the matter, sinking into a deep sleep.
Later, Madam Fan Liu brewed a bowl of medicine for her. She drank it for three days in a row. On the fourth day, the child was gone, and she suffered a massive hemorrhage. Her sister brought in an old woman with a plaster on her temple and a harsh face to take her pulse. By dawn, the bleeding had stopped, but she didn't even have the strength to breathe.
In her dazed state, she heard her sister speaking to Madam Fan Liu: "...Take that lump of flesh and deliver it to Xinglin Alley, to Cheng Xu. Hand it to him personally, so he knows how he lost his wife and child, so he knows what his mother has done... The sins they've committed shouldn't be borne by us alone..."
The voice was filled with gnashing hatred.
Yet all she could think was: So Cheng Xu is in the capital. Now he'll never bother me again, right?
As if a heavy stone had been lifted from her heart, she let out a long sigh and fell into a peaceful sleep.
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I've read all your comments, sisters. Thank you for your support of Jinling Spring. The reason I haven't posted for almost a year is simply because work has been too busy. As for extra updates, I truly can't manage them—I can only commit to not breaking the continuity... Please forgive me!
Fifteen years' worth of professional archives to organize, and there are many, many of them...
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