In the Moonlight

The wind howled through the canyon.

Tanmoroqie stood there in a daze.

Yaoying tugged at his sleeve, coughed a few times, and a faint smile appeared on her face.

"In the past, I admired and trusted the Dharma Master, and felt the same even when you were the Regent, never thinking of anything else."

Whether he was Tanmoroqie or Su Dan Gu, he had always been calm and steady, never showing excess emotion, let alone a man's desire.

Moreover, when she accidentally saw him unclothed, he was completely at ease, without any other emotions, as cool and pure as jade.

Yaoying thought that Tanmoroqie regarded her as a little girl who hadn't grown up.

Coupled with her worries about Li Zhongqian's safety and the situation in the various states of the Western Regions, she had no time to spare for such thoughts.

"Later, when the Dharma Master fell ill, Bi Suo repeatedly asked me to accompany you. Though I had doubts at the time, I didn't think much of it, assuming it was because I understood your condition and could keep your secret, which was why Bi Suo sought me out. It wasn't until the last time that I began to suspect..."

Yaoying gazed at Tanmoroqie's profile.

"That night, while I was asleep, you covered me with the quilt and wanted to... touch me..."

At the time, he had stared at her for so long that she began to wonder if he intended to do something.

Hearing her mention that night, Tanmoroqie remained silent, his robes fluttering lightly in the wind.

Yaoying declared firmly, "I know it wasn't a dream."

...

Tanmoroqie was a monk; he couldn't have wanted to touch her merely out of sympathy or pity.

That night, Yaoying's suspicions were confirmed. It struck her like a thunderbolt—her heart raced, she was stunned, unable to believe it.

She was grateful that Tanmoroqie was ill at the time; otherwise, he would surely have heard her pounding heartbeat.

In her eyes, Tanmoroqie had seen through all things. Because he understood everything, he cared for nothing. At times, he was so calm and rational that it bordered on indifference. How could someone like him develop feelings for a woman?

How could he possibly like her? And even want her to stay?

Yaoying lay awake all night, her mind in turmoil, thoughts surging like tides, indescribable.

Many things that had felt subtly wrong before now had a reasonable explanation: he took her to the pagoda to pray, asked a physician from the Land of Brahma to examine her without telling her, the embrace in the rain, Bi Suo saying he was depressed and unable to ease his mind, how he often stared at her silently, telling her in his dreams that he wanted her to stay with him...

One memory after another flooded her heart. Yaoying turned over and looked at Tanmoroqie lying on his side on the long couch, her heart aching and heavy as if weighed down by a thousand burdens.

Shock, astonishment, confusion, conflict, bewilderment, sorrow...

But no anger at being kept in the dark.

Nor any fear of being alone with him.

If it had been any other man trying to touch her in the middle of the night while she slept, she would have long since rolled up the quilt and found an excuse to leave.

But with Tanmoroqie, she wasn't afraid at all.

Yaoying was deeply saddened.

Not for herself, but for Tanmoroqie.

He was a monk; in the books, he held fast to his faith until death. For him to develop feelings for her and keep her by his side, he must have endured great inner torment.

And she, knowing nothing, might have unintentionally hurt him.

Every time she drew close to him, it was a trial for him.

And she had so often happily discussed returning home with him...

Yaoying gazed at him, thinking of many things, for a long time, until her thoughts gradually grew clear.

...The sun had climbed to the peak of the mountain cliffs, and gusts of cool wind swept through, carrying eerie whistling echoes across the canyon.

Yaoying lifted her head.

"Venerable One, that morning when Bi Suo entered the room, I was awake. I made a decision. Do you know what it was?"

Tanmoroqie allowed her to clutch his sleeve, offering no response.

Yaoying continued, "I understood your thoughts, Venerable One. Upon careful reflection, many things became clear to me, so I decided to earnestly seek confirmation from you."

If he denied it, she would leave.

"You are a practitioner of the path, Venerable One. I understand how firm your convictions are, and I am aware of the responsibilities you bear as the Buddha Prince. Since you have never shown any affection in my presence, and have firmly denied it after my several attempts to probe, it shows your resolve is steadfast—that any romantic feelings were merely a fleeting impulse. With your profound understanding of the Buddhist Dharma, you are certain to see through such attachments and remain undisturbed by matters of the heart."

"Before, when I was unaware of your feelings, I unintentionally caused you trouble. After I came to understand your heart, how could I continue to linger in the Holy City and disturb you further?"

"Since you have already made your choice, I will not force you to admit any romantic feelings for me. Doing so would only bring discomfort to us both and create unnecessary troubles."

"I wish to bid you farewell pleasantly."

This way, in the future, when they thought of each other, only fond memories would remain.

At that time, Yaoying thought to herself: Though Tanmoroqie had developed feelings for her, he had no intention of revealing them. Why should she dwell on it?

If his heart was not in it, she would not cling.

Thus, she left.

Bathed in the pouring brilliance of the sunlight, Yaoying spoke softly, "Venerable One, do you know, when I left the Holy City last time, I made a resolution—in this lifetime, I would not see you again."

Her tone was light, tinged with a faint smile.

Tanmoroqie closed his eyes briefly.

"I will not write to you in a personal capacity, nor will I return to the Holy City."

"In this life, you and I will have no further connections."

"Neither in life nor death shall we meet again."

Yaoying articulated each word calmly.

Tanmoroqie remained silent, the wind blowing against his face feeling icy cold.

Yaoying smiled, "Venerable One, at that time, I believed I could keep my word and never look back to disturb you."

That was her plan, and she acted upon it.

After leaving the Royal Court, she ceased writing to him and made no inquiries about him. Even when she encountered his close guard Yuanjue in Gaochang, she did not mention him at all, discussing only some military affairs of the Royal Court.

Parting in this manner, she felt grateful to him. He quietly cared for her, and henceforth, they would live apart, each finding their own happiness.

Thousands of miles apart, an insurmountable chasm lay between them.

Yaoying let out a long sigh, her gaze returning to Tanmoroqie's face.

He had just torn off his mask, traces still visible on his skin. The features outlined in ink were profound yet pale, his brows gathered like mountain ranges, his eyes like glazed glass.

"This is the outcome you wished to see, isn't it?"

Tanmoroqie stayed silent.

Yes, this was the best conclusion for them.

"You wanted a clean break with me. Even if today you accidentally revealed your feelings in my presence, letting me know what is in your heart, you would not change your resolve. You would rather expose your identity and directly tell me that you are Su Dan Gu, than allow me to hold any lingering thoughts of you... Even under a disguised identity, you would not permit yourself the slightest relaxation."

Tanmoroqie remained motionless.He dared not relax his vigilance. She liked Su Dan Gu, so he had to tell her the truth, because he knew that if he faced her as Su Dan Gu, he would gradually indulge himself—that would be unfair to her.

Knowing what he wanted made it even more necessary to sever that possibility.

"You are clear-headed and rational, seeing through everything with perfect clarity..."

As Yaoying spoke, a faint smile flickered across her face, followed by a long sigh tinged with both joy and sorrow.

"Luojia, then why did you come to Gaochang?"

With this question, the surroundings fell into silence.

Tanmoroqie remained silent, fragmented light shimmering in the depths of his eyes.

Yaoying looked at him: "You are a high monk, more resolute and determined than I am. Since you are capable of restraint, why did you personally come to Gaochang to save my elder brother?"

"Luojia, you can't let me go. Even after I left the Holy City, you still couldn't, could you?"

"When you are gravely ill, having me by your side makes you feel better, doesn't it?"

"Luojia, those who have left the household do not speak falsehoods."

Yaoying spoke sentence by sentence, her voice hoarse, her gaze locked with his.

"Luojia, stop deceiving me."

"Do you know how worried I am about your health? Do you know how heartbroken I was when I discovered that A Pi was you, that you rushed thousands of miles to save me, only to leave alone while injured? Do you know how sad I feel when I resolve to forget you and not disturb your practice, yet you repeatedly show concern for me? You have many worries and burdens, keeping them all to yourself, telling me nothing. I thought I was merely a tribulation on your spiritual path, a trouble I brought upon you, so I resolved to stay away—yet you keep drawing me back."

"When I love someone, I love them wholeheartedly, regardless of their identity. If they do not need my love, then I will leave."

Her expression turned cold.

"And you?"

"You say you love me, that it's your own affair, and I shouldn't mind... Fine, I won't mind. I'll stay away from you, never see you again... Can you truly let go?"

"Next time, will you still hide it from me, secretly come to my side, and then secretly leave?"

Tanmoroqie lowered his gaze to look at Yaoying, his fingers making a subtle motion as if touching Buddhist beads, a faint, bitter smile flashing across his face.

So she knew everything.

That last parting was indeed meant to be final.

"Princess, I have left the household."

"I know you have left the household, and I know your choices. I respect you."

Yaoying met Tanmoroqie's gaze directly, then shifted her tone. "Then, I ask that you also refrain from interfering with my choices."

The wind grew still, and a few drab birds flapped their wings overhead as they flew past.

Tanmoroqie's gaze remained fixed on her face: "What is the princess's choice?"

Yaoying turned sideways, facing the golden sunlight, gazing into the distance at the scattered, orderly rocks, her face glowing with a serene light.

"You are gravely ill now, and I am your inner demon. I want to help you overcome it."

"No matter what happens, this is my choice. Once you have found clarity, I will leave on my own, without clinging to you."

"I understand that you are the Buddha Prince of the Royal Court. Not only is your faith unwavering, but you are also the Buddha Prince in the hearts of countless devotees. You could never return to secular life in this lifetime."

"If you cannot return to secular life, then so be it."

Yaoying smiled faintly, coughed a few times, waved her hand, her expression calm and untroubled.

"I don't care that you are a monk.""Luojia, I won't force you to abandon your responsibilities and beliefs. I just want to properly care for you. From now on, don't hide things from me anymore."

She had never cared about so-called reputation.

The mountain wind swept through, tousling the stray hairs at her temples. Her eyes shone bright and clear as she said, "I am a tribulation on your cultivation path. Let me accompany you through this difficult trial."

Tanmoroqie stood motionless. As clouds drifted in the wind, a beam of light happened to fall upon his handsome face, outlining his distinct features. Flickering reflections shimmered in his pupils.

She was willing to help him overcome his inner demons, but what about herself?

He stared at her blankly for a moment, then turned and walked away, his sleeves fluttering lightly.

The corners of Yaoying's lips lifted as she lifted her feet to follow him. After a few steps, dizziness overwhelmed her, and she stumbled through the rocky terrain.

The figure walking ahead paused, hesitated for a beat, then raised his arm with his back still turned to her.

Yaoying's lips parted slightly, a faint ache in her heart as she gently took his arm.

He couldn't bear to watch her stumble, yet he kept having to send her away.

Leaning against him, she felt a sense of peace, but exhaustion gradually washed over her, and she coughed softly.

...

The campfire had long burned out.

Tanmoroqie lifted the lid of the earthen pot - the water inside was still warm.

He poured a bowl of water and brought it to Yaoying's lips.

Having spoken too much, Yaoying's throat felt scorched, each cough sounding painfully raspy. She drank a few sips from his hand.

Soon after, Tanmoroqie felt the grip on his sleeve loosen.

Yaoying released her hold, closed her eyes, and fell into an exhausted sleep, her face pale and weary.

Earlier, she had mustered all her strength to say everything she needed to tell him, leaving him no room for evasion.

Now that the adrenaline had faded, her entire body ached, and she felt heavy and lethargic.

Tanmoroqie picked up the felt blanket and covered Yaoying again, his brow slightly furrowed.

The bruises on her face and neck had become more pronounced.

He watched her for a while before carefully tucking the blanket around her.

As warmth gradually spread through Yaoying's body, she instinctively nestled closer to him, her breath filtering through his clothing to brush against his chest.

Tanmoroqia's figure stiffened slightly. He closed his eyes and let her lean against him so she could sleep more comfortably.

Suddenly, footsteps echoed through the quiet mountain pass.

Tanmoroqie put on his headscarf and mask.

Bi Suo approached leading three horses, peering around before stepping forward and lowering his voice: "Regent, Princess Wenzhao's guards have come looking for her. The princess hasn't returned all night... They were worried something had happened to her and came to the camp asking about her whereabouts. I made up an excuse to put them off. The army is about to march... You should depart soon too."

Tanmoroqie gathered Yaoying in his arms. "I'll escort the princess back to Gaochang."

Bi Suo frowned, unable to keep his voice from rising: "Your condition... You must return to the Holy City quickly for power dissipation..."

Every time he underwent complete power dissipation, he would be unable to walk for several days. He had been suppressing it with medication all this time.

"I will return immediately after seeing her to Gaochang."

Tanmoroqie said calmly, wrapping Yaoying securely before helping her onto the horse.

The movement woke Yaoying. The felt blanket shifted as an arm emerged, followed by her weary face. Her dazed gaze gradually cleared, brows knitting together as her eyes slowly scanned the surroundings before settling on Tanmoroqie.

Tanmoroqie stood silently beside the black horse.

Yaoying narrowed her eyes slightly, as if contemplating something.

"Regent, what do you think of my proposal?"Tanmoroqie did not respond.

Bi Suo keenly sensed the strange tension between the two, keeping his eyes lowered and remaining motionless.

A cool breeze blew, and Yaoying coughed, looking at Tanmoroqie as she asked, "Where did you say you were sending me just now?"

Bi Suo dared not make a sound.

Tanmoroqie steadied Yaoying as she sat up and replied calmly, "I'm sending you back to Gaochang."

Yaoying smiled—she had known he would say that.

Her voice hoarse, she said, "There's no need for the Regent to trouble himself. I'm not returning to Gaochang. The Wei dynasty has reclaimed lost territories, and I must go to the Holy City to pay respects to the Buddha Prince and present him with state documents and gifts. This is a matter of diplomatic importance and cannot be taken lightly."

Bi Suo’s face twitched slightly.

He hadn’t noticed before, but Princess Wenzhao’s repeated use of "Regent" sounded far more natural than when he or Yuanjue said it.

Tanmoroqie lifted his gaze.

"Aren’t we heading the same way?" Yaoying tightened her felt blanket and picked up the reins. "Since we’ve run into you, and with bandits running rampant, it’s safer for me to follow your army with just a few dozen of my personal guards. I’m exhausted and aching all over—I want to return to the camp and sleep properly in the carriage. Let’s go."

As she spoke, she didn’t even glance at Tanmoroqie, instead turning to Bi Suo with an urging look.

"Let’s go."

Her voice was thick with weariness.

Bi Suo didn’t know what to say and glanced at Tanmoroqie.

Tanmoroqie gazed into the distance, his peripheral vision catching the growing bruise on Yaoying’s forehead.

He had deliberately avoided the main roads, and the gorge was rarely traveled. She had no martial skills, yet she had braved the rain to find her way here—her scratches and bruises were surely far more numerous than what he could see.

She had been coughing persistently; delaying further would harm her health. She needed rest and medicine now.

He mounted his horse and took up the reins.

Beside him, Bi Suo quietly breathed a sigh of relief.

It was better to return to the Holy City.

With the princess around, Luojia wouldn’t have to hide and endure hardships on the road.

The group returned to the main camp, where Yaoying’s personal guards had indeed come looking for her. Seeing the unidentified, veiled Tanmoroqie, they asked no questions and brought over a large carriage.

Bi Suo mustered the troops and led the army onward, while Yaoying’s guards surrounded the carriage, following at a distance.

Yaoying read a few military reports, wrote a reply, and fell into a deep sleep. When she woke again, she was lying in the jolting carriage, covered with a soft brocade quilt.

She sat up, rubbing her sore shoulders, and lifted the carriage curtain to call for someone, only to pause in surprise.

A familiar figure rode ahead of the carriage, clad in a tightly wrapped narrow-sleeved white robe, his silhouette solitary and aloof.

At least this time, he hadn’t slipped away quietly.

A cool wind blew toward her, and Yaoying leaned against the window, coughing. The man not far away heard the sound and turned, his gaze settling on her face.

Through the dust and wind, their eyes met. His face was covered by a windproof mask, making his expression unreadable.

Yaoying coughed until her face flushed red and waved at him.

"Come here."

Her voice was raspy.

Tanmoroqie watched her for a moment, then turned his horse.

When he drew near, Yaoying lifted the carriage curtain. "Come up. I have something to say to you."

She signaled to the other guards with her eyes.

The guards immediately urged their horses forward, watching intently, ready to take Tanmoroqie’s horse.

Yaoying held the curtain with one hand, still coughing, her shoulders trembling slightly.

Tanmoroqie swung his long leg over and dismounted, then stepped into the carriage.The carriage curtain fell. Yaoying, wrapped in a brocade quilt, leaned against the carriage wall. The cramped space was filled with a faint, elusive sweetness. Tanmoroqie bent down and sat in the corner farthest from her.

"Your injuries haven’t healed yet, and you can’t keep showing yourself in public. Don’t ride a horse—accompany me in the carriage instead," Yaoying said.

Tanmoroqie remained silent.

Yaoying didn’t need his reply. Hugging the quilt, she lay back down. Worried about missing him, she had traveled day and night for several days and climbed the mountain path for so long last night to find him. Her entire body ached, and all she wanted now was to rest properly.

Lying on the soft fleece blanket, she glanced up at Tanmoroqie.

He sat upright and rigid, not looking at her.

Yaoying sighed inwardly, released the quilt, and crawled over to him on her hands and knees, meeting his gaze.

Tanmoroqie remained motionless.

Yaoying reached out and lifted the veil from his face. "Don’t wear this in the carriage—it’s stifling. Don’t worry, my guards won’t lift the curtain without my orders. They won’t discover your identity."

Tanmoroqie lowered his gaze to Yaoying, his eyes lingering on her forehead for a long time.

"What’s wrong?" Yaoying asked, sensing something odd in his expression.

"You need to apply more ointment," Tanmoroqie said softly.

Yaoying straightened up in confusion, grabbed a small mother-of-pearl bronze mirror, and examined her face. She let out a soft gasp.

During her stumbling journey the previous night, she had fallen several times, scraping the skin near her cheek, and the bump on her forehead had swollen even larger.

The corner of Yaoying’s mouth twitched.

No wonder Bi Suo had looked at her so strangely.

She shook her head and chuckled wryly. That morning, she had spoken so seriously to Tanmoroqie with a large, swollen bump on her forehead like the God of Longevity—she must have looked utterly ridiculous.

It was admirable that he hadn’t laughed.

Yaoying looked up at Tanmoroqie.

"Look—" she pointed at the bump on her forehead. "It’s because you rushed back from afar without a word of farewell. I was worried about you and came searching for you, which is how I ended up like this. If you had told me the truth, I wouldn’t have suffered like this."

Tanmoroqie had no reply.

Yaoying shoved the small mirror into his hand. "Hold this for me."

She bent her head, found the ointment, opened the clam shell, and sat cross-legged in front of Tanmoroqie. Scooping up a tiny bit of ointment, she tilted her face upward and applied it while looking into the mirror.

The swollen area stung sharply, and she hissed softly.

Tanmoroqie held the mirror, his expression unreadable.

The bump on Yaoying’s forehead hadn’t subsided for several days.

Every morning, she would examine herself in the mirror, checking if the bruising had improved. When she had to leave the carriage, she would wear a veil to cover her entire face.

During this time, she insisted that Tanmoroqie stay in the carriage to recuperate. Whenever he showed signs of wanting to leave alone, she would lift her veil and show him the bump on her head.

"You were injured saving my elder brother. I must take good care of you. If you leave without a word, I’ll keep searching for you until you’ve fully recovered."

Tanmoroqie said, "It’s just a minor flesh wound."

Yaoying smiled. "I only have a few scrapes and a slight cough, yet you insist I apply medicine and take remedies. Why is it different when it comes to you?"

Tanmoroqie averted his gaze, looking calmly at the swaying carriage curtain.

"I am not like the Princess," he said after a moment of silence.

Yaoying shook her head. "We’re the same. We’re both flesh and blood. We feel pain when injured, and we suffer when ill."Tanmoroqie thought of her tumbling in the canyon on that rainy night, covered in wounds, and remained silent.

A few days later, they reached the border city. As the triumphant army returned, the garrison commander led all soldiers and civilians out to welcome them, with flowers scattering in the air and intoxicating wine flowing freely.

Bi Suo, having managed a grand banquet, learned that the emissaries from the Wei dynasty were staying at the city's courier station, preparing to proceed to the Holy City to present gifts of gratitude. He was greatly astonished—the princess had not lied; the Wei dynasty had indeed sent emissaries, but the chief envoy was not Princess Wenzhao.

The chief envoy, upon hearing that Yaoying and her party had entered the city with the army, immediately went to the courier lodge where they were staying. Pushing the door open, he entered the room.

Lamps were lit inside, and the desk was piled with account books. Yaoying was bent over the desk, writing. Hearing the report from her guards, she rose with a smile.

"Brother, I was just about to send someone to the courier station to inquire if you had arrived."

The chief envoy of the mission was Li Zhongqian. Yaoying had arranged to meet him in the Holy City. He had set out early, thinking she was still behind, and was surprised she had caught up so quickly.

"I arrived this morning," Li Zhongqian said.

His phoenix eyes swept casually around the room, then caught sight of a figure in the inner chamber. His brow furrowed tightly, his gaze sharp as lightning.

A tall figure sat cross-legged on the felt carpet in the inner room, seemingly meditating or regulating his breathing. The inner chamber was unlit, veiled by a gauze curtain, and the man's face was covered with a scarf, making his features indistinct.

Li Zhongqian's eyes flashed with vigilance.

Why was this man still in Bright Moon Slave's room so late at night?