As if something in her blood was stirring, an unfamiliar surge of emotion made Mei Jiu feel extremely uncomfortable. She clutched the hem of her clothes tightly, suppressing the urge to destroy things.
Mei Jiu’s restraint pressed down on An Jiu, rendering her immobile, and suddenly reminded her of the doctors’ hands—how they would grip her tightly whenever she wanted to destroy or kill.
The scene flickered hazily in her mind.
Two pairs of hands pinned her down firmly, and someone above her shouted, “Hurry, gag her! Don’t let her harm herself!”
A wad of something forced her mouth open wide.
“Sedative!”
In her violently shaking, blurred vision, she could only catch glimpses of white hems of clothing.
Then, darkness swallowed her whole. In the darkness, a voice whispered temptingly: Kill that person, and I’ll let you out. You can do it. You were born to be the perfect weapon. Don’t disappoint me…
Mei Jiu’s eyes widened as she saw, with terrifying clarity, a dagger plunging into someone’s body. Blood splattered everywhere, painting her vision crimson. She was so terrified she couldn’t even scream.
“Jiu’er! Jiu’er!” Mei Yanran watched Mei Jiu’s unfocused, horrified expression with a pang of heartache. She shouldn’t have told her these things so abruptly. But she had no choice—if Mei Jiu were to follow Old Madam in the future, she would face things a thousand times more terrifying than this.
“Mother!” Mei Jiu called out dazedly.
Mei Yanran pulled her into an embrace, gently stroking her back. “You were frightened, weren’t you?”
The warmth of the embrace and the soothing touch gradually calmed the fear and agitation.
An Jiu steadied herself.
That memory was unfamiliar yet familiar. An Jiu had no recollection of it, yet she was certain it was her. These memories made one thing abundantly clear—
She had once been a mental patient.
It was a hereditary illness in her family. After her parents died, An Jiu’s mental state became extremely unstable. From the detention center to the psychiatric hospital, she was always the top danger, kept under strict surveillance, controlled with medicine, and subjected to psychological counseling. No matter what methods they tried, her condition only worsened.
Later, she found release in killing. Like a viper lying in wait for its prey, she would pull the trigger and watch from afar as her target fell—a game she came to love.
From then on, An Jiu never showed her violent side in daily life again. She even began to enjoy gardening and caring for small animals, her smile as pure as a child’s when she was happy.
Extreme brutality and absolute innocence coexisted within her.
“Jiu’er.” Mei Yanran’s heart was a tangle of emotions.
Unable to bear seeing Mei Jiu like this, she stood up. “Rest early. I’ll ask for leave from the Clan School for you—don’t go tomorrow. I’ll check on Ru Yan first and come back.”
An Jiu looked up, staring at Mei Yanran’s still-pale face. For a moment, it felt like she was back in that stormy night. She couldn’t help but reach out to stop Mei Yanran.
Seeing her outstretched hand, Mei Yanran took it gently. “Mother will be back soon.”
It felt…
An Jiu suddenly thought Mei Yanran was so much like her own mother—both willing to sacrifice everything for their daughters, yet powerless to change reality even at the cost of their lives.
“Jiu’er?”
Just as Mei Yanran was about to speak, An Jiu stood and pressed her head against Mei Yanran’s chest, listening to the steady heartbeat. It felt like salvation.An Jiu's mother had already lost her sanity before her death. Her deranged behavior, coupled with her terrifying appearance due to the medicine, made the young An Jiu too afraid to approach her. It wasn't until her mother's death that An Jiu thought of holding onto the fading warmth of her heartbeat—but it was already too late.
Only at this moment did An Jiu realize that she had merely chosen not to recall those memories. Yet the fear, despair, and loneliness on her mother's face in her final moments had been deeply imprinted into her soul.
If only she had been brave enough to offer comfort then, if only she had given her mother some warmth before she died...
It turned out that she didn’t just hate her father—she hated herself even more for being afraid of her mother, for doing nothing for her, for simply resenting her weakness without realizing she had already bravely given everything she had.
Perhaps this was fate granting her a chance to make amends?
"We'll be fine," An Jiu said, pulling her hand free from Mei Yanran's grasp and giving her a quick hug before hurrying away.
Mei Yanran turned to watch her fleeing figure, puzzled. Mei Jiu had never walked with such large strides before, nor had she ever spoken in such a calm and decisive tone.
After a moment’s thought, Mei Yanran attributed it all to the recent upheavals. No matter how her daughter changed, she was still her daughter.
"Yao Ye?" Mei Yanran called.
"My lady." Yao Ye appeared at the door.
Mei Yanran had already regained her usual composed elegance. "Take good care of Jiu'er."
"Yes."
The maid preparing the medicine had already been waiting in the courtyard. Mei Yanran led her to Mei Ru Yan’s quarters.
Outwardly, Mei Yanran and Mei Jiu seemed similar, but their hearts were entirely different. Mei Yanran was selfish—she wouldn’t be kind to anyone without reason.
If necessary in the future, she wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice Mei Ru Yan...
The next day.
Neither Mei Jiu nor Mei Ru Yan attended the Clan School, so Mei Yanran summoned them both to explain the household affairs in detail and began teaching them breathing techniques.
An Jiu listened intently, forcing her body to practice diligently. Mei Jiu instinctively followed Mei Yanran’s instructions, but her comprehension was far inferior to An Jiu’s, causing her breathing to alternate between correct and chaotic.
"Don’t rush. You’ll get used to it in a few days," Mei Yanran reassured her.
"My lady, Young Master Mo heard that the two young misses were unwell and has come to check on them," Yao Ye announced from outside the door.
Mei Ru Yan was surprised. Mo Sigui, living under their roof, had been humiliated when the incident of being kicked into the lake became known throughout Plum Blossom Village. Shouldn’t he resent them?
Mei Yanran said, "Very well, invite him in."
Then, turning to Mei Ru Yan, she added, "Sigui is quite skilled in medicine. Let him examine your fingers. Though it’s not a serious injury, the fingers are connected to the heart—good treatment and medicine will spare you unnecessary pain."
"Thank you, Mother," Mei Ru Yan said gratefully.
Mei Jiu was delighted to see her mother caring for Mei Ru Yan.
When Mo Sigui entered, he saw the harmonious scene of the three women smiling warmly. He bowed to Mei Yanran. "Greetings, Aunt."
Mei Jiu and Mei Ru Yan rose one after another to greet him as "cousin."
"No need for formalities among family. Please, sit," Mei Yanran said with a smile, studying Mo Sigui carefully.
His naturally charming peach-blossom eyes usually gave him a flirtatious air, but today, dressed in an elegant dark blue robe and with a composed demeanor, he appeared surprisingly upright and steady.
"The last time I saw you, you were still a child," Mei Yanran sighed.
Mo Sigui replied, "Aunt, you haven’t aged a day. Seeing you now, I almost felt as if I’d traveled back over a decade."Mei Ru Yan was utterly amazed. This cousin Mo was truly a master of performance. If he had delivered those words in his previous flirtatious tone, it would have clearly been teasing.
Mei Yanran smiled faintly, an inadvertent trace of melancholy in her expression. "He certainly knows how to charm people."
——————————————
I wonder if everyone can accept that An Jiu suffers from a mental disorder. She is violent and manic, yet in her calm moments, she yearns for peace and beauty. Also, as a spoiler, the two souls will not merge, nor will they coexist in the same body forever.
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