Lin Jinlou woke from a muddled sleep, disoriented about the time of day. He sat up for a long while, still feeling trapped in an absurd and bizarre dream. Outside, lanterns had been lit, casting the room into gloom. As he rotated his stiff neck, his eyes fell upon Xianglan’s letter, discarded on the kang. His expression instantly darkened. He climbed down to pour tea, only to find the pot empty—not a drop left. Irritation flared. With a loud crash, he hurled the teapot to the floor.
Shuangxi, standing guard outside, hurriedly peered in at the noise, just in time to hear Lin Jinlou roar, "Where is everyone? Huh? Vanished, the lot of you! What’s the use of keeping you around?"
Shuangxi inwardly groaned and rushed forward. "Eldest Master, you’re awake—" Before he could finish, a teacup came flying at him. "Get out! Out of my sight!" Lin Jinlou bellowed. Shuangxi scurried away like a whipped dog.
Lin Jinlou sat down, breathing heavily, a sharp pain piercing from his head straight to his heart. Just then, a tapping sound came from beyond the screen by the door. Annoyed and ready to vent, he looked up to see Yuan Shaoren step around it. Yuan smiled faintly, holding a teapot. As he poured tea, he remarked, "Such a temper? Tch. With a disposition like yours, who wouldn’t run scared?"
The comment struck a nerve. Lin Jinlou slumped, his face twisting bitterly. "Go find someplace else to loiter. Don’t block the way. I don’t want company today."
Yuan Shaoren paid no mind. Their friendship, forged through life and death, ran deep. He stepped closer and clapped Lin Jinlou on the shoulder. "What? Can’t find her, so you take it out on me? Snapping like a mad dog." His eyes then fell on the letter lying on the bed. He reached for it.
"Put that down!" Lin Jinlou snapped, lunging to grab it.
But Yuan had already skimmed the contents. He let Lin snatch it back, unable to suppress a chuckle. "So that’s it. Serves you right, no wonder you’re in a foul mood. Look what it says—'never brought a smile to her face.' Tsk. Regretting not treating her better now, aren’t you?"
"Get out! Who said you could come here? Scram!"
"Fine, I’ll leave after one thing. We’ve got people searching everywhere—miles around the Temple of the Medicine King, turning over every blade of grass. Nothing’s turned up. Everyone’s waiting for your word on what to do next."
Lin Jinlou’s face remained stony. He picked up the cup, drained the tea in one gulp, and slammed it back onto the table.
"Come on, I know you. You’re not really giving up, are you?"
Lin Jinlou said nothing, a fresh wave of agitation surging within him. His heart ached with a numb throbbing. He was a man who hid his broken arm in his sleeve, who swallowed his teeth with blood—never one to complain. But this anguish was too much to contain. He couldn’t help muttering, "She’s too heartless..." then choked up, unable to continue.
Yuan Shaoren’s expression softened with sympathy. He patted Lin’s shoulder. "Maybe she was just too afraid. She’s not some naive girl who thinks love alone can fill her belly. She sees things too clearly."
Lin Jinlou shot him a sidelong glance. "Oh, you’re an expert now? Playing the love guru?""How much blood and tears have been accumulated to reach this point." Yuan Shaoren lowered his head, lost in thought about someone, and after a long while said wistfully: "Yingyang, fortunately it was her. If it were someone else who went through all this, who knows what kind of person they would have become." After speaking, he took a deep breath and exhaled, saying: "We're brothers, no need for pretenses between us. I'll lend you a hand and send people out to search too." Having said that, he left.
Lin Jinlou continued to send his subordinates to search for her, but in the vast sea of people, she truly seemed to have vanished without a trace. He thought Xianglan would surely return home to visit her parents, so he discreetly sent people to investigate. However, Xianglan had not returned home. When Chen Wanquan mentioned Xianglan, his eyes would narrow into slits, his face creasing with joy: "My daughter is currently in the capital with General Lin. Have you heard of 'The Story of Hermit Lanxiang'? That opera sings of my daughter's deeds... Oh, what soaring success? Haha, my daughter is loyal and courageous. It's not that I, your elder brother, am boasting, but throughout history, there are truly few chaste women and virtuous ladies who can compare to her..."
Though she couldn't be found, life had to go on day by day. Lin Jinlou felt his days empty and hollow. Returning to his room, it was cold and desolate. During the first month, whenever he saw the handkerchiefs, clothes, fans, scented sachets, books she had read, and paintings she had made that Xianglan had left behind, his heart would ache with irritation. He didn't know how many things he had smashed in anger, frightening Shu Ran and the others into quietly putting away all of Xianglan's belongings and replacing the bedding and curtains with new ones. When Lin Jinlou returned and entered the room, he stood dazed for a long time. Xiao Juan timidly went in to serve tea, and as she was leaving, she heard Lin Jinlou say: "Put the things back. At least there's some human presence then." Xiao Juan was stunned, mumbled an acknowledgment, and quickly retreated.
No one dared mention "Xianglan," even Qin Shi was cautious, watching her eldest son's expression, occasionally complaining to Wang Shi: "Tell me, did I commit some sin in my previous life? Lou Ge'er goes around all day looking half-dead with that long face. Why does he have to make everyone worry so?"
Lin Changmin was seriously injured and bedridden, but Wang Shi seemed more spirited than before, wearing a newly made Red Gold Head Ornament Set. She said to Qin Shi: "He's pining for her. How could he have a smiling face? When I think of our Ling Jie'er, I also cry in the dead of night. Lou Ge'er is a man, naturally not like us, but isn't he crying inside too?"
Was Lin Jinlou suffering in his heart? He knew he ought to stand firm between heaven and earth. At his age, he shouldn't be so preoccupied with someone, especially when so many mouths in the Lin Family Army were counting on him. He forced himself to pull together, appearing lively and vigorous again. But he felt as if his entire being had become numb. All social interactions felt like acting. Only when he returned to his room, with no one around, did he realize how exhausted he was, tormented in countless ways, nearly suffocated by the pressure. Yet in the midnight dreams, Chen Xianglan's image still filled his eyes. He should have returned to Jinling long ago, but he lingered in the capital just to find this one person. He even began to feel he was at his wit's end. No matter how many people he sent out or how high the reward he offered, there was still no news. From time to time, he feared with dread: Could that woman already be dead? But with no sight of her alive and no corpse found, how could he give up hope?
Chu Dapeng had passed the imperial examinations and was about to be appointed as an official in Jiangzhe. He specially hosted a banquet and invited Lin Jinlou. At the banquet, Chu Dapeng personally poured a cup of wine for Lin Jinlou and said with a smile: "I'll soon be working in your territory, brother. I beg you to show me some favor and look after me."
Lin Jinlou smiled slightly, raised his cup, and said with a laugh: "We're all brothers here, no need for such formality."After downing a cup of wine, Liu Xiaochuan leaned in with a grin and said, "Lou-ge, the girls accompanying the banquet today are all the most popular ones in the capital. Care to take a look?"
Lin Jinlou lifted his eyelids and glanced around. Four beauties, each with plump or slender figures, rosy cheeks, and exquisite features, stood before him. He sat there, lost in thought. Why bother? That woman had heartlessly left—why should he care whether she lived or died? Better to indulge in pleasure day by day. Hadn't he lived like this before? Besides, the beauties before him were all charming and radiant, full of wit and allure. Why should he deny himself?
As he pondered, Xie Yu, with a knowing look, stepped forward and pulled over a girl who had been playing the zither, pressing her down beside Lin Jinlou. He laughed and said, "Brother, this Meiwu girl is new here. Since childhood, she’s had several tutors teaching her—music, chess, calligraphy, painting, classics, history, and philosophy—there’s nothing she doesn’t know. Let her keep you company, but you must be gentle with her, brother. Don’t scare her." He then gestured vaguely at Meiwu and added, "Serve him well."
Lin Jinlou narrowed his eyes and examined her. She had willow-leaf eyebrows like mist, skin as smooth as jade, and was dressed in a white silver-striped gauze blouse with a red silk embroidered gold-threaded trailing skirt—truly a peerless beauty. Meiwu, beaming with delight, raised a cup of wine with her delicate hands and said softly, "Eldest Master Lin, Meiwu offers you a toast first."
Lin Jinlou stared at her for a long moment before finally drinking the wine in his hand. The banquet continued with toasts and drinks flowing freely. Lin Jinlou accepted every offer without refusal. When he was half-drunk, the others signaled for Meiwu to help him to the back to rest. As soon as he stepped outside, the night breeze sobered him up considerably. Meiwu, supporting him with one hand, smiled and said, "Eldest Master, the side room is this way…"
Before she could finish, Lin Jinlou pushed her away and staggered outside, calling for his horse before riding off alone. He had suddenly grown weary. What was once a place of joy and amusement had now become unbearable to him. It was all just a performance—women as radiant as flowers, their every smile and frown carefully crafted to please, feigning tenderness, affection, or playful innocence, all while wearing masks of false delight. Xianglan had never been like that. That foolish girl had always offered her sincere heart, allowing others to take advantage of her without minding. Her smile alone could warm his heart. Remembering this felt like a heavy weight pressing on his chest, or like knives slicing through his heart. Resentment rose within him, a dull, agonizing pain that drove him to despair. Yet, even as he pulled himself out of self-pity, he couldn’t stop thinking of her. A voice in his heart kept urging her to return. If only she would come back, he wouldn’t ask any questions—just having her by his side would be enough.Days passed imperceptibly in this manner. Lin Jinlou stood indoors gazing out the window, where he saw crimson leaves dancing on treetops and the courtyard carpeted with yellow blossoms. These days he had been so frantically busy that he barely noticed summer had slipped away, giving way to late autumn. Several young maids dragged brooms across the courtyard, sweeping while chatting and laughing, unaware of Lin Jinlou's observation. One hummed a tune which, upon closer listening, turned out to be an aria from "The Story of Hermit Lanxiang." Since the Empress Dowager had shed tears upon hearing this opera, and Xia Gugu had fervently praised Xianglan's virtue while hinting at Lin Jinlou's willingness to marry her, the imperial court had summoned Chen Xianglan for an audience. The Lin family, however, claimed her whereabouts were unknown, suggesting she had departed without notice upon realizing her humble status made her unworthy of the Lin household. The nobility at court sighed over this tale, frequently requesting performances of the opera—not for its melodic beauty but for its extraordinary contemporary storyline.
Shu Ran entered quietly to replenish the tea. As she departed, her eyes caught the sheepskin purse hanging from Lin Jinlou's waist—the first purse Xianglan had made for him, now with its tassels worn bare, yet still unreplaced. She recalled Hua Shan's whispered words about how Lin Jinlou kept Xianglan's unfinished socks by his bedside, murmuring, "Is the Eldest Master waiting for his lady to return and complete them?" Shu Ran had chided, "Don't gossip about our master's affairs," yet inwardly she marveled. Though their master appeared composed these days, she never imagined such a formerly unrestrained man could be afflicted by lovesickness.
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