It was not until the early morning of the next day that Lin Jinlou returned home. Qin Shi, unable to rest easy, had risen at the hour of Shen to chant Buddhist scriptures. Upon hearing the maid report that Lin Jinlou had returned, she hurried to Chun Tang Hall to see him. Without announcing herself, she quietly hid behind a screen and peered inside. She saw Lin Jinlou still in his travel-stained clothes, unwashed and unkempt, with a stubble of beard on his chin, sitting on the bed staring blankly into space as if in a trance. In his hand, he clutched a piece of fabric. Qin Shi looked closely and saw it was a pair of men's socks.
Qin Shi stood at the doorway for a long while, but Lin Jinlou remained motionless, not even blinking. Qin Shi thought to herself, "This is bad, he's bewitched." She quickly entered the room, cautiously approached Lin Jinlou's side, and gently nudged him, saying, "Lou Ge'er, Lou Ge'er?"
Lin Jinlou seemed startled and looked at Qin Shi blankly. "Mother, why are you here?"
"I came to check on you," Qin Shi said, reaching out to touch his face with concern. "Where did you go last night? And your second uncle—" She glanced at his expression and didn't dare press further, much less mention Xianglan. Instead, she said, "Let the maids fetch water for you to wash up and lie down to rest." Seeing that Lin Jinlou remained silent, she took it upon herself to arrange for his ablutions.
Soon after, the maids brought in a silver basin. Qin Shi personally wrung out a towel and wiped Lin Jinlou's face. He remained silent and allowed her to tend to him. After wiping his face, she moved to wipe his hands and noticed the pair of socks in his grasp. She asked, "Why are you holding this? Oh, these socks aren't even finished yet. What are you doing with them?"
Lin Jinlou seemed to snap out of his daze and said, "Xianglan was making these for me." He then smiled. "Mother, you have no idea how difficult it used to be to get her to make anything for me. I had to swallow my pride, coax her, and even threaten her, but she'd still grumble and act indifferent. When she finally made me a sachet, it was done half-heartedly, which infuriated me. But things gradually improved. Whatever I asked for, she would make. Now, look at these socks—I didn't even have to ask. She noticed the change of season and started making them for me on her own. Isn't she especially thoughtful?"
Qin Shi was dumbfounded, her mouth agape for a long moment before she managed to say, "Ah, well—yes, she is quite thoughtful." She thought to herself, "Isn't my eldest son being foolish? So many women are eager to make clothes and socks for him, yet he never paid them any mind. Instead, he had to shamelessly beg this one girl. And now he's over the moon about a mere pair of socks."
"Exactly. She's sincere at heart, not the type to sweet-talk or flatter to deceive others. When she cares for someone, it comes from the depths of her heart," Lin Jinlou said, looking down at the socks and gently smoothing out the wrinkles. He added softly, "I wonder where that silly girl has gone. Why can't we find her? She still needs to finish these socks—"
Hearing this, Qin Shi felt a lump in her throat. She dared not cry in front of Lin Jinlou, fearing it would stir his emotions further. Quickly setting the towel on the table, she took a deep breath and said, "Are you hungry? The kitchen has been simmering your favorite dishes on low heat. Would you like to eat something first?"
Before she could finish, Shuran announced from outside, "The Old Master and the Master have requested the Master to come to the study."
Upon hearing this, Lin Jinlou stood up to leave.
Qin Shi stopped him, saying, "You've been busy all night. Have something to eat first and rest for a while. The matter at the study can wait."Lin Jinlou shook his head and said, "Second Uncle nearly lost his life last night and was carried back. I must give an explanation to Grandfather and Father." Having said this, he still went ahead.
Entering the Hall of Substance, where both Lin Zhaoxiang and Lin Changzheng were present, Lin Jinlou paid his respects before recounting the incident of Lin Changmin's injury from the previous night. He omitted any mention of Lin Changmin colluding with river bandits to take his life, merely understating that his second uncle had been injured in the neck while suppressing bandits with him. Lin Zhaoxiang couldn't help but feel troubled and sorrowful, worrying for a while. After leaving the Hall of Substance, Lin Jinlou finally revealed the truth to Lin Changzheng. Lin Changzheng was so shocked his eyes widened and mouth twisted in disbelief, then he flew into a rage: "That treacherous scoundrel! How dare he—" He quickly sized up Lin Jinlou and asked, "You weren't hurt, were you?"
Lin Jinlou, looking utterly exhausted, waved his hand impatiently and said, "Father, I still need to go out and search for someone. I'm leaving now." With that, he strode out.
Seeing his son's cold demeanor, Lin Changzheng knew the boy still held a grudge against him. His face darkened as he considered calling out to him, but upon noticing his son's haggard appearance, he merely moved his lips and ultimately said nothing.
Lin Jinlou went to the front study, mobilizing his forces and dispatching every available subordinate to search for the person. He also ordered the spread of information through the streets, offering a heavy reward so that all walks of life would be alert and scouring the area. Shortly after, Shuran entered carrying a cup of strong tea. Lin Jinlou vigorously rubbed his face, picked up the horsewhip from the table, and was about to leave again when Ji Xiang hurried in and announced, "Master, Bao'er has returned!"
Lin Jinlou jolted and asked, "Where is he?" Without waiting for an answer, he pushed past Ji Xiang and rushed out the door. There stood Bao'er with his hands at his sides by the study entrance. Seeing Lin Jinlou emerge, he quickly knelt on the ground. Lin Jinlou glanced around and asked, "Where's Xianglan?"
Bao'er stammered, "Mistress Xianglan, she—she—didn't come."
"Where is she?"
"I... I don't know—"
"What?"
Bao'er stole a glance at Lin Jinlou before hurriedly lowering his head again.
This Bao'er was originally Ying Ge's younger brother, initially named Zhao'er. His name had violated Lin Zhaoxiang's taboo, so it was changed. Because of his clever and adaptable nature, he had caught Lin Changmin's favor and was usually tasked with handling horses and carriages.
That day, when Lin Changmin ordered Lai Xing and Lai An to tie up Xianglan, Lai Xing felt uneasy and was suspicious of everyone. He commanded Bao'er to prepare the carriage, cursing, "You useless fool, dragging your feet like you don't understand human speech. Today the master has important business—capturing the heart of someone cherished in the mansion. If anything goes wrong, we'll all pay dearly." Upon hearing this, Lai An immediately pulled him away. But Bao'er had heard clearly and thought to himself, "‘The heart of someone in the mansion’—could it be Xianglan?" So, using the excuse of moving flowerpots, he followed the two from a distance, hiding behind a building. Sure enough, he saw them binding Xianglan and was horrified. He turned to rush off and report, but it was already too late. In his panic, he happened to see Guiyuan, knowing he was trusted by Xianglan's side, and pretended to pick up a horsewhip to pass on the message.After the men were bound and loaded onto the carriage, which then left the city, Bao'er deliberately slowed the pace, earning him curses from Lai Xing. Bao'er intentionally grumbled back, engaging in a prolonged argument. Enraged, Lai Xing climbed out of the carriage and seated himself on the shaft to exchange insults with Bao'er. Seizing the opportunity at a bend, Bao'er suddenly reached out and gave a fierce push. Caught off guard, Lai Xing let out a cry as he tumbled down, rolling straight to the roadside where his head struck a rock, leaving him unconscious and his fate unknown. Bao'er shouted and whipped the horses into a gallop, racing an unknown distance before finally halting. He then entered the carriage and rescued Xianglan.
Bao'er recounted the entire sequence of events and added, "Madam was terribly frightened. At the time, there was a Guanyin Nunnery not far away, so this humble servant accompanied her inside to ask for water. Madam said she was unwell, so I hurried out to find a physician. When I returned, she was already gone, leaving only... only this letter—I was so terrified my soul nearly fled, searching there for a full day and night. Truly unable to find her, I finally returned—" As he spoke, he drew a letter from his bosom and presented it with both hands.
Lin Jinlou hastily took the letter, pulled out the contents, and unfolded it. It read:
"To the Esteemed Lin Jinlou,
Time flows relentlessly, three full moons have passed since I first entered your noble household. You did not disdain my humble origins, and I, your concubine, served by your side. The world is ever-changing, and after many upheavals, I have been undeservingly favored by your misplaced affection. Reflecting alone in the quiet of night, my shame and regret are unbearable. However, my body may be flawed, unfit for the duty of bearing descendants in the future. Moreover, this deep mansion is a prison, where others are right and I am wrong. Entangled in worldly snares and mundane conflicts, I have never found joy residing here. In the stillness of night, I often ponder: wealth and honor are but a dream. My only wish is for a tranquil and simple life, vanishing amid the mists and seas. After much deliberation, I bid you farewell. I hope you will always eat well and take good care of yourself. With my remaining regards,
I pray for your peace in these times.
Respectfully submitted by your concubine,
Chen Xianglan"
The elegant, delicate calligraphy was unmistakably Xianglan's handwriting.
Lin Jinlou held the letter in silence, while Ji Xiang dared not even breathe heavily. After a long while, his master's hand trembled, his face ashen. He took several deep breaths, as if unable to believe it, then grabbed Bao'er by the collar, his expression eerily calm as he said, "Nonsense. Where is Xianglan? Where is she? Where?"
Bao'er, terrified, waved his hands and stammered, "I truly... truly don't know, truly don't—"
Lin Jinlou stared blankly before releasing his grip, and Bao'er immediately collapsed to the ground. Lin Jinlou's face turned purple with rage. Of course—Xianglan had been forced into his household by him. She never wanted to stay here for a moment; this place had brought her nothing but suffering. She must have been desperate to leave. But what about him? Hadn't she said she no longer hated him? After all their time together, did she not have even a shred of genuine feeling for him? Was she truly so heartless, to leave just like that?
He had exhausted himself, deploying troops and strategizing, even reaching the emperor's ears. He had gone to great lengths to please his grandfather, begged his grandmother and mother, and stood up to his father. What had it all been for? Huh? What for? Staggering backward two steps, he nearly tripped over the doorframe before retreating into the room. He gazed around vacantly, his eyes finally settling on the set of The Legend of Lanxiang Jushi placed on the table. The play script now seemed to pierce his heart painfully. Chen Xianglan had never intended to stay with him forever. Deep down, he had vaguely understood this, yet he pretended not to see, believing she still held some affection for him. So it turned out—from beginning to end, it had all been his own wishful thinking!He felt as if his heart were being carved with a knife. The long-healed wound on his chest seemed to fester anew, his temples throbbed with pain, and his mind went blank, unable to recall or conceive anything. Utterly defeated, he felt as though he would shatter at the slightest touch. As if in a dream, he stumbled to the small table and swept his arm across it. With a crash, the opera scripts, tea bowls, and tea set atop it scattered to the floor. With his back to the main door and shoulders slumped, he forced out through gritted teeth, "Since you’ve left, never come back. Never, ever come back!"
Like a wandering ghost, he drifted dazedly toward the back.
Shuran’s eyes reddened, and she called out in a choked voice, "Master—"
Lin Jinlou murmured, "I must be dreaming. Don’t call for anyone. Let me sleep a while."
Outside, silence reigned. The crowd stood frozen for a long moment before Ji Xiang stepped forward to help Bao'er up and said with a strained smile, "Stay here for now. Go rest in the annex room."
Still worried about Lin Jinlou, Shuran waited a good while longer before tiptoeing into the inner study. Peering inside, she saw Lin Jinlou lying on the heated brick bed with his back to her, his body trembling faintly as if he were weeping.
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