Ruan Yu spent nearly eleven years before finally uttering the words "I miss you" as this heart-stopping day was about to come to an end.
It wasn't a sudden change in her nature. Rather, after witnessing a regretful missed opportunity that day, she suddenly realized that in matters of the heart, one shouldn't dwell on fairness or winning and losing.
She shouldn't care about who had the upper hand, who spoke first, or who bowed their head first.
Because you never know—when you're caught up in these meaningless calculations—whether a sudden disaster might strike, tearing you apart completely and forever, leaving no chance for any more calculations.
So, when you still have the chance to say "I miss you," you must say it out loud.
Even if you lose, it doesn’t matter.
The moment her words fell, the other end of the phone seemed to freeze in silence, with not a single sound in response.
Ruan Yu blinked blankly a couple of times and was about to pull the phone away to check the signal when she heard Xu Huaisong say, "The signal's fine."
Leaning against the railing in the hospital corridor, Xu Huaisong lifted his head from the warm yellow glow and slowly straightened up.
The signal wasn’t the problem—his brain had short-circuited.
Suddenly, he said, "Wait a moment," then hurried to the end of the hallway and went down the stairs.
Ruan Yu was utterly confused. After what felt like forever, she finally heard the footsteps stop on the other end, followed by a slightly breathless voice saying, "Me too."
"What?" She had almost forgotten what they were talking about.
"I miss you too. Or... maybe even more than you miss me." Xu Huaisong spoke each word deliberately, then unconsciously held his breath.
Only when Ruan Yu laughed on the other end did he finally relax his tense body and breathe freely again.
Once he caught his breath, Ruan Yu asked, "Why did you have to run around before saying it?"
He hesitated before answering, "There were nurses on duty in the hallway earlier." That was why, even though he had clearly sensed she wanted comfort, he had pretended not to understand and avoided saying anything too direct.
"So what? Do they understand Chinese?"
"..."
Fair point. He had forgotten.
Xu Huaisong lowered his head and chuckled. "I’ve had a draining day today. Maybe I’m a little out of it."
"Draining how?"
His eyes softened helplessly. "What do you think?"
Ruan Yu mumbled, "I wouldn’t be asking if I knew."
Xu Huaisong gritted his teeth and had no choice but to spell it out. "Worrying about you."
Ruan Yu laughed again.
See? Speaking your mind wasn’t so hard after all.
After a thoughtful pause, she said, "But on the phone earlier, you sounded so calm. You even said the police would protect me and there was no need to worry."
"That was to comfort you."
He didn’t trust the police that much. Even a one-in-ten-thousand chance of something happening to her was enough to make him restless.
This had happened twice now. She would never know how utterly powerless and suffocated he felt, hearing distressing news about her from thousands of miles away. He had only pretended to be calm to reassure her.
He moved the phone away, opened his flight booking page, and sent her a screenshot.
When Ruan Yu checked the message, she saw it was a flight departing San Francisco at 11:00 PM, bound for China.
Within five minutes of receiving her call, he had bought the ticket. Only after confirming she was safe did he not rush to the airport.
Her nose tingled, and she inhaled shakily, her voice thick with emotion.
That slight tremor in her voice reminded Xu Huaisong of something. His tone turned stern. "Next time you cry on the phone, make sure you finish what you have to say first before breaking down."Stirred by his tone, Ruan Yu's surge of emotion instantly evaporated.
He then declared sternly, "You might be fine, but my heart would stop from fright first."
Ruan Yu choked back a retort and simply said, "Oh." But since she'd gotten the comfort she wanted, she didn't mind his harsh tone. "Got it. You should go back to the ward and check on your uncle."
Xu Huaisong stood under a streetlamp, phone in hand, glancing toward the inpatient building. "It's fine. The nurse is there, and his condition has stabilized. He's asleep now."
"So you enjoy standing outside feeding mosquitoes?"
"Yeah. After crushing the one on your chin last time, I felt bad. Thought I'd take care of its brethren."
"..."
Ruan Yu chuckled, moving away from the door with her phone. She exhaled deeply and flopped onto the bed.
Hearing the rustling, Xu Huaisong asked, "What are you doing?"
"Tired. Lying down for a bit." She sighed. "Actually, I was really scared today—my legs went weak. I didn’t know I’d have to climb that aerial ladder..."
"You climbed the aerial ladder?" Xu Huaisong sounded surprised. "But you're afraid of heights."
Now it was Ruan Yu's turn to be puzzled. "How did you know that?"
Because during the 40th-anniversary celebration of their high school, many students had been assigned to decorate the reception venue. Perhaps there was too much work, so tasks were randomly assigned without regard for gender. She'd initially been tasked with tying ribbons along the window frames but was too afraid to climb up, so she went around asking people to switch.
Then he stepped in.
By the time she found someone to take over, the ribbons were already tied. She’d thought someone had done the wrong job.
Xu Huaisong remained silent for a long time under the night sky before finally looking up at the crescent moon. "I'll tell you when I get back."
What was this mysterious act?
But Ruan Yu was truly exhausted and didn’t dwell on it. Rolling over in bed, her thoughts wandered. "What do you think will happen to Zhou Jun? When I went to give my statement this afternoon, I saw him taken into the interrogation room—he didn’t come out for ages."
Xu Huaisong had already gotten a general understanding of the case from the police. "Right now, the objective evidence points to him, and his subjective explanation is just his word. Even if he didn’t commit the murder, it won’t be easy to clear his name."
Ruan Yu’s throat tightened as he continued, "There are two possibilities for his release. First, another suspect emerges before the trial, and all current evidence against him is reasonably refuted. Second, he’s acquitted due to insufficient evidence during the trial."
"Given the current situation, if the real culprit exists, they’re likely a highly experienced repeat offender who might not be caught anytime soon. So, he’ll probably have to aim for the second option."
Ruan Yu murmured in agreement. "You can’t defend him, right?"
"No."
Not only had he not taken the domestic bar exam yet, but even if he passed and got his lawyer’s license, he wasn’t a criminal defense specialist. This was a matter of professional expertise.
He said, "I’ve already asked Liu Mao to arrange for a defense lawyer. Once I wrap things up here and return to the country in a couple of days, we’ll discuss the details."
Xu Huaisong stayed outside feeding mosquitoes until past two in the morning before finally returning to the ward.Ruan Yu got up to cook, then went to bed early, only to have nightmares all night. The next morning, when Ruan's Father and Ruan's Mother saw her dark circles, they immediately sent her back to the city.
This place was too close to the crime scene. Given her naturally timid nature, staying in this house would likely keep giving her nightmares.
Ruan Yu also thought it must be due to the location and believed she'd feel better once in the city, so she listened to her parents.
But unexpectedly, even after returning to the city, whenever she left bustling areas and returned to quiet places—especially at night—she still felt physically and mentally unwell.
Since Shen Mingying happened to be out of town sourcing products for her online store, Ruan Yu picked up Xu Pipi from a city hotel. For two consecutive nights, she relied on this cat and staying on voice call with Xu Huaisong to barely fall asleep.
Her nighttime was his daytime. Xu Huaisong spent two full days barely able to do anything else. On the rare occasions when he had matters to attend to and muted briefly, she would wake up hearing dead silence on his end and immediately ask, "Why is there no sound?" He'd have to quickly unmute to explain, then accompany her back to sleep again.
He knew she was someone who understood boundaries.
If she weren't truly terrified, she would never act so willfully.
So by the third day, when Xu's Father was transferred from ICU to a regular ward, eating and drinking normally with everything stable, Xu Huaisong began considering returning to China.
Coincidentally, Lü Shenglan came to the hospital. Entering the ward's side room, she saw him wearing earphones with his phone displaying an ongoing voice call. Understanding the situation, she wrote on a note: "I've finished my current case and can work here for the next few days. If you need to return to China, go ahead."
Xu Huaisong glanced at the note but didn't respond immediately.
She continued writing: "Uncle Xu was my mentor when I entered this field. It's only right that I take care of him. Don't worry."
Just as Xu Huaisong was about to pick up a pen to reply, he heard Ruan Yu's sleep-talking through his earphones—she seemed to have cried herself awake again.
Without time to write, he immediately spoke into the mic: "Nightmare? I'm here."
Ruan Yu's groggy voice came through after a long pause: "Mmm... it's nothing. I'll get some water..."
"Okay, turn on the bedside light first. Remember your slippers. Be careful walking. Don't drink cold water." Xu Huaisong spoke slowly, not so much to actually remind her of these things, but to maintain continuous sound so she wouldn't feel afraid when walking to the living room.
After she drank water and returned to bed, he said, "Tuck yourself in and go back to sleep. I won't hang up."
About twenty minutes later, when Ruan Yu's breathing evened out—indicating she'd likely sleep peacefully for a while—he softly muted the call. Then looking up at Lü Shenglan who'd been standing there waiting, he said, "Sorry about that."
Lü Shenglan shook her head to indicate it was fine, then hesitantly asked, "Did something happen to her?"
Xu Huaisong briefly explained: "A suspect took hostages. She was asked by police to assist with negotiations."
"Were they successful?"
"Yes."
"Did she appear too calm during the incident?"
Xu Huaisong frowned.
Lü Shenglan continued, "I've done research in this area. For someone with her temperament, if she forcibly overcame her stress response to complete negotiations, it could easily cause psychological backlash afterward."
Xu Huaisong's frown deepened. "Are you suggesting she needs a psychologist?""It probably hasn't reached that point yet, but if she's alone right now without anything significant to divert her attention, prolonged isolation could seriously affect her mental and physical health. You should either ask someone to look after her for a few days or return as soon as possible."
Xu Huaisong took out his phone and opened a flight booking page.
"If she has trouble sleeping, try to schedule the flight outside her usual rest hours," added Lü Shenglan.
He responded with an "Mhm," then looked up and said, "Thank you."
When Ruan Yu woke up early the next morning, she noticed Xu Huaisong's voice call had disconnected.
There was a message from him in the chat box, sent half an hour earlier: I'm about to board now and will arrive before your bedtime tonight. Eat well and wait for me at home.
She placed the cursor in the reply box and typed "Okay," then deleted it upon remembering he wouldn't see it yet.
Just as she was getting up to wash up, her phone buzzed with another WeChat notification.
From Xu Huaishi.
She had gotten Ruan Yu's WeChat contact a few days earlier when Liu Mao brought her back to Suzhou.
Xu Huaishi: Sis, the package I sent you is out for delivery now. Remember to sign for it!
Ruan Yu shook off her drowsiness and typed: What is it anyway?
Xu Huaishi had asked for her address two days ago, saying there was something very important she wanted to mail, but refused to reveal what it was.
Xu Huaishi: You'll find out soon!
As soon as this message came through, the doorbell rang.
Ruan Yu threw on some clothes and hurried to the door, accepting a parcel from the courier. After closing the door, she used a knife to open it.
Inside, she found what appeared to be a very outdated flip phone.
Author's Note: Bad news—Director Gu's workstation got moved next to the boss's office. No more slacking off at work from now on. Crying stormily. Hope you'll comfort me with lots of comments.
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