Jiafu hung her head, not daring to let even a strand of hair tremble. Her heart was filled with shame, lingering fear, and overwhelming regret.
Pei You'an was willing to help her and capable of doing so. Jiafu was certain of this. Her certainty stemmed not only from his promise to her but also from intuition—a woman's innate, cunning intuition about men.
To stake her life before him as a means of pressuring him—when she first made this decision, even Jiafu despised herself. Yet that self-loathing couldn't stop her from deciding to cast aside her dignity for once.
She desperately needed security. Only Pei You'an could provide that sense of safety, and what could bind a man and woman together so tightly that they would never part?
Not the relationship of cousins, nor verbal promises, but something that transcended familial ties—a romantic bond between man and woman.
Having already resolved to abandon dignity, she should have seen it through to the end, clinging stubbornly even in the face of death. Now, thinking back, even if she hadn't cried out that "Help!"—which now made her regret so bitterly she wished to bite off her tongue—Pei You'an would surely have saved her in time.
Unfortunately, in that life-and-death moment, her instinctive reaction had completely betrayed her.
He knew she had been scheming, exploiting his kindness and sympathy toward her.
The air was terrifyingly still, and Pei You'an's anger was even more dreadful.
"Had I been half a step slower just now, you would have lost your life. Take care. I'm leaving."
Just as Jiafu braced herself for his thunderous wrath, these words suddenly reached her ears.
There was no anger. His voice held only indifference.
Jiafu's heart sank abruptly. Summoning her courage, she raised her eyes to see him cast a cold glance her way before turning to walk toward the door.
Over these past days, the two had gradually grown familiar. Due to her deliberate yet heartfelt efforts to draw closer and please him, she had managed to wait for his return to share dinner seven or eight nights out of ten. He had even begun smiling at her—gentle and warm. At times, she could sense his indulgence toward her half-teasing, half-serious antics before him, as if he enjoyed watching her behave that way.
It was precisely this that had emboldened her to play the desperate, life-risking act before him.
But in this moment, the gradually softening, tolerant Pei You'an had vanished. He reverted to how he had been when they first met—even colder than before.
Jiafu stared blankly at the distant, aloof figure retreating before her, her eyes wide.
"Cousin—"
She called out softly, her eyes reddening before tears fell with a "plop."
"I was wrong... Don't be angry..."
Her voice choked as she lowered her head, kneeling at the corner of the bed. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, but they only flowed more freely, unstoppable, until even a snot bubble emerged.
Suddenly, a hand appeared before her, holding a spotless handkerchief.
Sniffling, Jiafu looked up with red, swollen eyes at the person before her.
Pei You'an had returned. He stood there, frowning at her pitiful state.Jiafu hurriedly took it, lowering her head to wipe away her tears and then her nose, gradually calming down. Yet she felt deeply ashamed, clutching the corners of the handkerchief tightly, unconsciously twisting it around her fingers as she kept her head down in silence.
He stood nearby, watching coldly, his gaze shifting from her fidgeting hands to her face. "Done crying?" he asked.
Jiafu let out a faint "Mm," as soft as a mosquito's hum, the loose strands of hair at her forehead trembling slightly.
"Do you know what you did wrong?" His voice was stiff.
"Cousin, you've been so kind to me, yet I pretended to threaten you with suicide..."
Her pearly white teeth bit down on her tear-dampened, rosy lips as Jiafu hung her head, speaking weakly.
Being caught made the shame even more unbearable. As soon as she finished speaking, her ears flushed red.
"Not just that! You even treated your own future as a joke! Willing to be a concubine or a maidservant, or even just a name on paper? Absurd!"
Jiafu’s heart skipped a beat, and she dared not make a sound, her head drooping even lower.
Her posture clearly did nothing to ease his anger. His words were laced with tightly controlled fury.
"Do you not realize that for a man, such matters are trivial, but for you, they are of utmost importance? You're a girl—how can you recklessly gamble your future over wild thoughts? If you said this in front of me, I’ll consider it a slip of the tongue. But if it were someone else, do you know what the consequences could be? Are you so certain that person would treat you well? Utterly absurd!"
Jiafu froze. She hadn’t expected this to anger him as well.
For her, the idea of saying such a thing to any man other than Pei You'an had never even crossed her mind.
Even if another man could help her escape the nightmares of her past life as Pei You'an had, she didn’t think she would ever speak those words.
But Pei You'an was different.
She trusted him.
Stealing a glance, she saw his brows tightly furrowed, his sharp gaze sweeping over her. Summoning her courage, she met his eyes and whispered, "Cousin is right to scold me... A'fu knows she was wrong... But A'fu would only ever beg Cousin like this. She wouldn’t do this with anyone else..."
Pei You'an fell silent, and the room grew so quiet that Jiafu could almost hear the pounding of her own heart.
"Rest assured. Since I’ve promised you, I will protect you. There’s no need to risk your future—not even for me."
After a moment, he spoke again, his expression finally softening slightly.
Jiafu secretly sighed in relief and quickly nodded. "A'fu understands. She won’t ever mention this to Cousin again..."
Before she could finish, a faint growl came from her stomach. Though quiet, it didn’t escape Pei You'an’s notice.
He glanced at her abdomen.
Though the Zhen family were merchants, Meng Shi had raised her daughter with strict etiquette. Such impropriety would have been unthinkable to Jiafu before. But ever since she’d conceived the idea of threatening him by pretending to jump, everything seemed to have spiraled out of control.
Embarrassed, Jiafu shut her mouth.
To convincingly feign weakness—enough to faint—in front of him, she had deliberately worn only a thin spring dress to endure the chilly winds on the rooftop. Moreover, after Zhang Fengtong left earlier that day, she hadn’t eaten or drunk a single thing.
Pei You'an said flatly, "Go and eat."After speaking, he turned and left. Jiafu felt as if she had been granted a great reprieve. She hurried to the mirror, quickly tidied her hair and makeup, then rushed to follow him.
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