When Jiafu gradually regained consciousness, she felt as if she were being held in someone's arms. Her tongue was unbearably bitter, and her nostrils were filled with the heavy scent of medicine. It seemed that person was feeding her medicinal liquid.
She had always been unable to tolerate bitter medicine. Even before she could open her eyes, she instinctively tried to turn her head away. But her face seemed to be held firmly by that person—she had no strength to resist, nor could she make a sound. Before she could swallow the previous bitter mouthful, another was forced into her mouth.
Her lashes trembled, her brows furrowed, and she struggled against the force compelling her to drink the medicine—just then, she felt as if that person had gone mad. Her face began to hurt, as if being repeatedly slapped by something.
"Fu'er! Fu'er! Wake up!"
The calls grew clearer and clearer. Another mouthful of bitter medicine was poured in. Due to her resistance, half of it flowed down her throat while the other half spilled from the corner of her lips.
Her mouth was so bitter...
Her face still hurt...
Jiafu let out a faint moan and finally awoke from the last remnants of her dream, slowly opening her eyes.
The first thing she saw upon opening her eyes was the final scene from her dream—the man who had emerged from the depths of darkness, reaching out to her, saying he would take her home.
Only, the man holding her now bore no resemblance to the graceful figure from her dream.
Pei You'an's clothes were stained with blood, his eyes sunken, his cheeks and jaw covered in unkempt stubble. His weary, dull eyes were bloodshot, unblinking as they fixed on her.
"...Cousin..."
Jiafu felt utterly weak, leaning limply against his chest. In a voice as faint as a kitten's, she softly called out to him.
A glimmer of tears, tinged with red, gradually welled up in Pei You'an's eyes.
Jiafu remembered everything now.
He had gone to war, and news of his triumphant return had arrived. She had wanted to wait for him at the gate, but before she could reach it, she had gone into labor. She had struggled through a day and night of childbirth before finally delivering the baby. Exhausted, she had fallen asleep...
She didn't know how long she had been asleep, but she knew she must have frightened him terribly.
"...I'm fine... don't be afraid..."
She raised her hand, tenderly touching his haggard face to comfort him. Then she shifted slightly, turning her head to search for the child she had just given birth to.
The moment her fingers brushed his cheek, Pei You'an's tears fell freely. He pulled her tightly into his embrace.
He held her close, tighter and tighter, as if trying to press her into his very bones. The strength of his grip was almost enough to make her faint again.
Jiafu felt a little uncomfortable, but more than that, she was stunned.
This was only the second time she had seen this man cry.
The first had been when their grandmother passed away, and he had rushed back to kneel before her. But even then, he had not been like this.
It was as if he could no longer restrain his emotions, yet he was forcing himself to hold them back. He buried his face deep in her long hair, unmoving. Slowly, Jiafu felt a warm dampness silently spread against her neck beneath her hair.
Pei You'an held her like this for a long time. When he finally lifted his head again, Jiafu could no longer see his tears—but his eyes remained bloodshot.He gently supported Jiafu, laying her down softly onto the pillow with movements so tender, as if she were a fragile glass figurine that might shatter at the slightest touch. After tucking her in, he spoke in a hoarse voice, smiling, "Our child is asleep in the other room. Eat something first to regain your strength, and then I'll bring him over to sleep with you."
"I want to see him now—"
Pei You'an shook his head, pressing Jiafu gently back onto the pillow before taking the medicine bowl and leaving.
Outside, a chorus of cheers erupted. Jiafu could hear the voices of two maids, Ding Mo, and the young eunuch, all mingling together in indistinguishable yet unmistakable joy.
Cui Yinshui's legs gave way, unable to hold him up, and he plopped down into a snowdrift. Scrambling back up, he repeatedly kowtowed toward the sky, murmuring words of gratitude once more.
Tanxiang came in to help Jiafu change her clothes. Glancing at the pitch-black sky outside the window, Jiafu asked a question and finally understood why Pei You'an had looked so haggard and emotionally overwhelmed when she first woke up.
She had given birth the night before last, and by the time she regained consciousness, two full days and nights had passed! After delivering the baby, she had continued bleeding and fell into unconsciousness. Pei You'an had stayed by her side, feeding her medicine. When she couldn't swallow, he held the medicine in his own mouth, transferring it bit by bit into hers. He had held her all night, from the moment she went into labor until now—four nights and three days without a moment's rest.
Tears welled up in Jiafu's eyes, and Tanxiang hurriedly wiped them away. "You mustn't cry right after giving birth—it could lead to lasting ailments..."
Jiafu quickly wiped her tears herself and asked for food. She was ravenous and needed to eat heartily to regain her strength quickly, to reassure Pei You'an and hasten the moment he would agree to bring their child to her.
She devoured a large bowl of minced meat porridge, a sweet egg custard, and two steamed buns, finally feeling her strength return. Pei You'an brought her another dose of medicine, and she obediently gulped down the bitter liquid in a few large swallows. She then opened her mouth to accept a piece of brown sugar he placed inside, gazing at him expectantly.
Pei You'an smiled, nodded at her, and then turned to leave the room.
Jiafu knew he was going to fetch their son. Nervous and excited, she leaned back, her eyes fixed unblinkingly on the doorway. Moments later, he returned, cradling the infant in his arms. Tanxiang lifted the door curtain for him, and he bent down to enter.
The baby, bundled snugly, was gently placed on the bed. Pei You'an unfolded the cloak wrapped around him, and Jiafu's eyes widened as a plump, fair-skinned little being came into view.
The baby was extraordinarily beautiful, with a head of soft, downy hair, faint eyebrows, and—despite being only a few days old—long, curled lashes. His nose was delicate and well-shaped, and his tiny mouth was a tender pink. Awake, his big, round black eyes stared curiously as Jiafu slowly leaned her face closer to him.
Pei You'an said he had already chosen a milk name for their son: Ci'er, hoping he would always remember the kindness of his parents—"Ci" was the name of an ancient divine bird, the Yangwu, known for its white beak and for feeding its mother, hence the name.The moment Jiafu laid eyes on the child, she completely forgot all the pain she had endured to bring him into the world. Suppressing the overwhelming love that surged in her heart, she carefully extended a finger and lightly touched one of his tiny hands. The baby immediately grasped her finger, giving it a gentle shake while making happy cooing sounds.
"He's smiling, he's smiling!"
Jiafu was overjoyed and looked up. "Elder Cousin, may I hold him?"
Pei You'an gazed at his wife, who at times still seemed as innocent as a child, and the corners of his lips curled slightly. "Silly Fu'er, you're his mother—of course you can hold him."
Jiafu was both delighted and nervous. "I'm afraid I won't hold him properly..."
Pei You'an chuckled, gently lifting the swaddled baby with both hands and placing him in Jiafu's arms.
The room was warm and cozy. The little one was dressed in a soft jacket Jiafu had made earlier, a small bundle of warmth with a faint milky scent. As he nestled into Jiafu's embrace, he seemed to recognize his mother's scent, his tiny face eagerly nuzzling against her, squirming restlessly.
"Ci'er is hungry," Pei You'an remarked with a smile.
Blushing, Jiafu asked him to fetch a clean, warm towel for her. She gently laid the baby down and, under Pei You'an's amused gaze, turned slightly to the side, loosened her robe, and wiped her chest before lying down and drawing the baby close.
Ci'er closed his eyes, suckling greedily at his mother's breast, making soft gulping sounds. Once full, he slowly drifted off to sleep.
Pei You'an also lay down, resting on his side beside the bed, silently watching Jiafu nurse. When the baby finally fell asleep, he got up, carefully lifted him, and placed him in the nearby cradle, tucking him in. Returning, he leaned in and licked away a drop of milk still clinging to her plump, peach-like breast, then smiled at her flushed face.
"Tired? Get some rest."
With reluctant tenderness, he adjusted her robe and helped her lie flat. But Jiafu burrowed into his embrace, wrapping her arms around him. "Elder Cousin, did I scare you...?"
Pei You'an fell silent.
Jiafu slowly loosened her hold and looked up at him, a hint of unease in her eyes. "Elder Cousin..."
Suddenly, Pei You'an pulled her tightly into his arms, kissing her fervently—her forehead, the tip of her nose, her cheeks, her neck, her chest—before returning to her lips, parting them and capturing her sweet tongue in a deep, relentless kiss, tangling with her completely.
He kissed her deeply, refusing to let go, their breaths mingling until she was nearly breathless. Only then did he release her, pressing her head against his chest. Jiafu could feel his heart pounding wildly, his breathing ragged. It took a long while before it finally steadied.
"Fu'er, you don’t know how grateful I was to the heavens when you opened your eyes. During those two nights when you lay unconscious, I kept thinking of my own mother, and fear gripped my heart. Fu'er, thank goodness you woke up in the end. If you had never returned, leaving me alone in this world..."
His voice broke off, hoarse and choked.
Jiafu's heart raced, but she didn’t dare move, nestling obediently against his chest as she listened to his words."Fu'er, I never told you before, but my birth mother was none other than my aunt, the former Empress of Tianxi reign, and my birth father..."
He paused again, closing his eyes briefly.
"...was none other than the former King of the Clouds—the man now residing in the imperial palace."
He finally forced the words out through gritted teeth, syllable by syllable.
"Back then, at Cien Temple, my mother gave birth to me and suffered fatal postpartum hemorrhage. She passed within two days. My father took me to the Pei residence, raising me as his eldest son. That's how I came to be..."
He stopped, taking a long breath as if to steady himself.
"I never spoke of this before because it was too shameful to voice. But tonight, I want you to know—even if you'll despise me for it. Fu'er, I always thought myself merely my father's illegitimate child. Little did I know the truth was twice as disgraceful as I'd imagined. I'm truly an ill-omened person—my own birth mother died because of me. I fear her spirit must loathe me utterly. Already an unnecessary existence in this world, if I were to lose you now, what joy would life hold?"
Jiafu raised herself from his chest.
"Husband, what if I told you that grandmother revealed your origins to me on her deathbed, charging me to accompany you through life? How would that make you feel?"
Pei You'an's gaze froze.
"Husband, you're mistaken. How could you be unnecessary? How could I possibly despise you for this? Grandmother and uncle raised you with care. Even at her last moments, grandmother couldn't stop thinking of you—that was love. If even they felt thus, how much more must your birth mother have loved you, who risked death to bring you into this world? Had she truly despised you, why would she have carried you for ten months and braved such danger? She loved you beyond measure—enough to sacrifice her life to give you yours. If her spirit knew you viewed yourself and her this way, how grieved she would be."
"Husband, you can't imagine how comforted I feel that you chose to share this with me. Your mother loved you, and so do I. Though she's gone, you have me now. I'll walk this life with you."
"If you don't grow old, I dare not age alone. If you grow old, I'll grow old with you. Husband, will you have this?"
Pei You'an gazed at her for a long moment before slowly pulling her into a tight embrace, closing his eyes.
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