Zhao Pu stood frozen in place, watching Tang Lici's retreating figure, his heart a turbulent mix of shock, anger, worry, and joy—so overwhelmed he didn't know what to do. His anger stemmed from Tang Lici's gentle words that were actually threats; his joy came from finally receiving the slightest news of his child after more than three years. Looking down at the shattered fan in his hand, his aged tears fell freely as he wiped them with his sleeve, overcome with sorrow and happiness.
After leaving the palace, Tang Lici turned to gaze at the sky filled with purple clouds and faint stars and moon, suddenly letting out a soft sigh. Family bonds... father and son... He boarded his carriage and instructed the coachman to head for Luoyang, to the Apricot Sun Bookstore.
Inside the Apricot Sun Bookstore, A Shui had just finished feeding Feng Feng and bathing the child before settling her on the bed. Exhausted from crawling around, Feng Feng fell asleep with her head nestled between two pillows, unconcerned about suffocating herself. A Shui gently moved one pillow aside, gazing at Feng Feng's peaceful sleeping face—her rosy cheeks—before leaning down to plant a soft kiss. If only everything could stay like this forever, how wonderful would that be?
Two light knocks sounded at the door.
Who could it be at this late hour? Her eyes flickered slightly as a realization dawned on her. She rose to open the door and, sure enough, standing in the darkness was Tang Lici. What surprised her wasn't his presence, but the jug of wine he carried.
The night was deep, well past dinner time. Dressed in white robes and pearl-adorned shoes, Tang Lici held a jug of wine in one hand and a stack of oilcloth-wrapped ceramic dishes in the other, the aroma of food wafting through the air. A Shui stared at him in surprise before smiling. "Come in."
Tang Lici stepped inside, placing the wine jug and dishes on the table. A Shui arranged the ceramic dishes one by one: a plate of spicy stir-fried bamboo shoots, a plate of dried squid in soy sauce, a plate of five-spice beef, a plate of cucumber with garlic paste, and a plate of ginger-mixed tofu—each exuding an enticing fragrance. "Does Young Master Tang wish to drink tonight?" she asked, fetching two sets of bowls and chopsticks. "Such fragrant accompaniments for wine." Tang Lici unsealed the wine jug, releasing a faint, cool aroma unlike any wine she had encountered before. "This is chilled pipa brew, a rare treasure in this world. It intoxicates easily but doesn't harm the body," he said with a faint smile, producing two cups from his robe. A Shui recognized them instantly—the same delicate, paper-thin white porcelain cups he had lightly bitten that night by the lotus pond. She smiled in return. "Since Young Master Tang is in the mood, A Shui is honored to accompany you in getting drunk tonight."Tang Lici smiled and poured himself a cup of wine, filling the room with its rich yet cool fragrance. "Has anyone ever told you that you're an extremely perceptive woman?" As he spoke, he downed the cup in one go. "But being too considerate robs men of chances to confide or show off. Has anyone ever said it's hard to hold a conversation with you? Because with you... many things need not be said—you simply understand." He extended his slender, pale fingers and lightly lifted A Shui's chin. "Being such a woman—doesn't it tire you?"
A Shui took a slight step back, evading his touch, her expression unchanged. "Has anyone ever told Young Master Tang that despite his extraordinary brilliance, he is a man without friends?" She met his gaze steadily. "No friends, no confidants... Being such a man—doesn't it tire you?"
The corners of Tang Lici's lips curled, nearly forming a smile as he replied softly, "Every time you say things like this, I feel like gouging out your eyes..." He poured himself another cup. "Tell me, in your heart—why do you think I'm drinking tonight?"
"Because... Young Master Tang has no friends," A Shui sighed gently. "You wanted a place to drink, but not to get drunk at home. Am I right?"
Tang Lici truly laughed then, his cheeks faintly flushed, his smile as radiant as dyed clouds. "I rarely get drunk—almost never."
A Shui picked up the wine jug and poured herself a cup, taking a small sip. "I have poor tolerance for alcohol, but I never get drunk either." She studied him. "Does Young Master Tang intend to get drunk tonight?"
Tang Lici drank another cup, smiling. "Indeed."
A Shui took another sip. "Does Young Master Tang wish to recite poetry?"
Tang Lici chuckled. "No."
A Shui smiled. "Then you're being coy—wanting a woman you don't particularly admire to find ways to cheer you up."
Tang Lici laughed again. "Saying that... almost sounds like something a friend would say..."
A Shui fell silent for a moment before sighing softly. "We are friends, after all. A Shui only hopes Young Master Tang won't ruin this friendship."
Tang Lici raised his cup once more, his voice equally gentle. "The world never aligns with what one hopes for..." His cheeks were flushed, his eyes shimmering with intoxication as he pressed a finger to his lips and whispered, "Perhaps it won't be me who ruins this bond—but rather that I'll die before I ever get the chance..."
A Shui startled. "Don't say such things. What happened today?" She gazed at him intently. "In my heart, Young Master Tang has never been defeated, never once disheartened.""Between father and son... between lovers... between family..." Tang Lici drank his seventh cup of wine that night and asked with a faint smile, "Between friends... how exactly should one act... to avoid disappointing everyone? The life of a woman meaningless to the martial world's greater picture, equally meaningless in life... why can't it be exchanged for the lives of men who could achieve great things for the martial world, men with extraordinary lives? News of a son who's been missing for years—a son who isn't even biologically his own... even a son who would bring endless trouble... could such news truly threaten a seasoned statesman who has weathered decades of political storms? I was thinking..." A Shui listened, then slowly asked, "Thinking what?" Tang Lici's crimson lips slowly parted from the rim of his ninth cup, "I was thinking... between father and son, between lovers, between family, between friends... human emotions."
A Shui watched him drink. With the way he was going, even the strongest tolerance would lead to drunkenness. She couldn't help but sigh softly, "Actually... Young Master Tang isn't lamenting why it can't be exchanged or why it could be used as leverage... you... don't you realize what's really troubling you?" Her gaze fell on the cup in his hand as she spoke gently, "You're feeling hurt because you have the heart to 'not exchange' and to 'believe in the bond between father and son,' but others don't understand—not even you yourself... so you're hurt. You want to drink, you want to get drunk." Her voice softened further, "In your heart, you truly harbor no ill intent, but... but no one understands. They all fear you, they all think you're calculating, don't they?"
Tang Lici poured his tenth cup, smiling faintly, his eyes slightly dazed, "This... I truly don't understand... perhaps you're right, or perhaps you're entirely mistaken..." He drank the tenth cup and sighed faintly, "But I think... I envy those who have fathers who would worry for their sons..." A Shui poured his eleventh cup for him and smiled lightly, "A father who cares... I envy that too. But neither of us are children anymore. Rather than longing for a father who would cherish us, why not become fathers who cherish our own children?" Tang Lici paused slightly, and their gazes both turned toward Feng Feng, sleeping soundly on the bed. They couldn't help but share a quiet smile. Tang Lici raised his eleventh cup of pipa brew, "To you!" A Shui drained her own cup in one go and smiled, "Have some food."At that moment, Tang Lici picked up his chopsticks and placed a piece of cucumber into A Shui's bowl. She smiled gracefully, "I ought to compose a poem for this gesture—tonight is so rare... Hmm... 'Jade-white breeze under the moon, blossoms perch upon the branch. Meeting you beneath the moonlight, gifting me emerald threads.'" Tang Lici chuckled lightly, "The jade-white refers to the moon, but what are these 'blossoms on the branch'?" A Shui pointed at the plate of dried squid in soy sauce, "Isn't this the 'flower branch'?"
Tang Lici downed his twelfth cup of wine, laughed brightly, and tapped the wine jar lightly with his fingers, producing a deep, resonant hum—a sound both forceful and somber, carrying its own unique charm. Then, in a bold voice, he recited:
"Autumn dew white as jade,
Gathering upon the courtyard green.
I walk and suddenly see it,
Chilled by the early cold, mourning time’s swift flight.
Life passes like a bird’s glance—
Why then bind oneself with care?
Duke Jing, how foolish he was,
Weeping on Ox Mountain, tears unending.
All things suffer from insatiable greed—
Gaining Long, they covet Shu.
The human heart is like rolling waves,
The world’s path fraught with twists.
Thirty-six thousand days—
Night after night, hold high the candle."
A Shui clapped her hands, delighted. The recitation of Li Bai’s poem was vigorous and unrestrained, brimming with the bold spirit of a carefree wanderer. Yet as soon as the poem ended, Tang Lici leaped up, his figure already atop the wall. She barely had time to turn her head, catching only his faint smile before he drifted away.
Twelve cups of wine, one poem.
He had said he would drink himself into a stupor here tonight, yet all that remained was a table of cold wine and half-eaten dishes. He had broken his promise, vanishing like the wind.
A Shui stared at the remnants of the meal for a long while... For just that brief moment, she had truly believed he would stay and get drunk tonight—had truly been happy... that he would stay.
Breathing in the crisp scent of wine, she held the delicate cup and sighed softly. She wanted a home, but what Young Master Tang sought... was not a place that could keep him, but one that could let him leave without worry.
She thought what he wanted was belonging, was reliance... Gazing at the empty wall, her eyes swept past it, looking toward the stars and moon... But just like the ever-shifting hues of his soul, not only did others fail to understand—even he himself did not.
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