Тhе wоrld аround them sееmеd tо drift fаr, far awaу.
Тhe Zhang Lurаng beforе hеr, with аgе, hаd grоwn sharpеr and more defined in his feаturеs.
Thе hair thаt оnсе cоvеrеd his brоws wаs now сut short, losing somе оf its formеr laziness, aрpeаring neat аnd distinсt.
Тhоugh hе stооd amidst this clаmоr, he sееmеd untouсhed bу thе mundane wоrld.
А clеar, palрable sensе оf distаncе.
Yet this same реrsоn had, just mоmеnts аgо, bееn eаrnеstly сonfеssing his feelings tо her with а stеrn fаcе.
А wаrmth sрread through Su Zаizai’s heart, and she suddеnly callеd out, “Lurang.”
Нeаring hеr voiсe, Zhang Lurang lifted his gaze, as if waiting for what she would say next.
Seeing that Su Zaizai didn’t continue, he glanced at the several empty plates on the table and asked, “Still hungry?”
A single sentence dissolved all the barriers between them.
“Give me your WeChat,” Su Zaizai inexplicably shifted to another topic.
Zhang Lurang was taken aback for a moment but didn’t question it, instinctively handing her the phone on the table.
Su Zaizai smiled, her eyes curving, but didn’t take it. Instead, she replied to his earlier question, “Hungry.”
Zhang Lurang gave her a puzzled look but quickly responded with an “Mm.”
He placed the phone back where it was and added a few more pieces of meat to the grill.
Su Zaizai rested her chin in her hands, watching his movements.
His slender fingers held the metal brush, moving unhurriedly as he cleaned the residue from the grill. Occasionally, he used tongs to flip the meat, brushing on some oil.
Noticing that he had barely touched his bowl and chopsticks, Su Zaizai lowered her head, picked up a piece of meat from her bowl, and held it to his lips.
Zhang Lurang took a bite, chewing slowly.
Then, Su Zaizai picked up another pair of tongs, placed the grilled meat from the grill into his bowl, and said, “Lurang, have you decided on a time?”
Zhang Lurang paused, not understanding. “What time?”
She didn’t explain, continuing, “Let me know in advance. I need to dress up nicely.”
This statement, combined with their earlier conversation, made Zhang Lurang realize what she meant.
He hesitated before asking, “Do I need to plan this ahead of time?”
“Tell me, and I can even teach you.”
Zhang Lurang, who had been earnestly inquiring, immediately snapped out of it upon hearing her words.
He glanced at her and said firmly, “I don’t need you to teach me.”
Su Zaizai didn’t mind his response, wearing a cheerful smile, her mood seemingly exceptionally good.
“I think what we have now is just fine.”
“Find a time to propose, or I can do it too.”
“Then, after graduation, we can get our marriage certificate, slowly save up for the wedding and buy a house.”
At this, she paused, looking as though she were lost in a beautiful daydream.
“Our names will be tied together forever.”
“Just like this, for a lifetime.”
Zhang Lurang suddenly found himself at a loss for words.
He stared into Su Zaizai’s eyes, his lips parting slightly.
“If that’s the case, you’ll have to live with me in rented housing.”
Su Zaizai was taken aback, wondering why she wasn’t getting the affirmative response she was used to.
Without overthinking it, she looked into his eyes earnestly. “That’s fine too.”
No matter what, she felt it would be fine.
Zhang Lurang fell silent, murmuring, “If only I were a few years older than you.”
Then he could confidently wait for her to graduate and give her a better future.She felt no burden in doing anything because she had him as her support.
If only that were the case.
He wanted her to live happily for the rest of her life.
He didn’t want her boldness and liveliness to be gradually worn away just because she left campus and stepped into a fiercely competitive and harsh world.
"Huh? You are a year older than me."
Zhang Lu Rang’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he said earnestly, "After graduation, give me two years."
Hearing this, Su Zai Zai’s expression froze, and she asked in confusion, "What are you planning to do?"
"Whatever others have, I want to give it all to you." His voice was slightly hoarse, tinged with a hint of caution as if afraid she might be upset. "And whatever others don’t have, I want to give you that too."
After hearing his words, Su Zai Zai instantly understood what he meant.
Her gaze slowly dropped, her thick eyelashes concealing her emotions.
For the first time, she couldn’t grasp his way of thinking.
Su Zai Zai poked at the meat in her bowl with her chopsticks, her tone somewhat cold. "I don’t see anything wrong with how things are now. Why should you be the only one striving for a better life…"
Zhang Lu Rang didn’t know how to express his thoughts.
Silence fell over the table.
Su Zai Zai couldn’t bear the oppressive atmosphere. She bit her lip and set her chopsticks down on the table.
When she looked up again, her eyes were rimmed with red, brimming with tears.
Suppressing the urge to cry, she asked, "Is it only me who wants it?"
Every past scene flashed through her mind one by one.
—"You still won’t give me a proper title."
—"Then you have to kiss me before I let you go."
—"If you want to come with me, you have to stay in the same hotel room as me."
Zhang Lu Rang panicked, immediately grabbed a few tissues, stood up, and walked over to her side.
Before he could speak, Su Zai Zai stood up and sobbed, "It’s always only me who wants things."
With that, she pushed him aside and headed toward the door.
Her tone, her reaction, her two sentences.
It felt like emotions that had been building up for a long time, yet also like a sudden outburst.
Zhang Lu Rang’s breath hitched. His heart felt as if it were being gnawed by insects, or as if someone were squeezing it tightly—painful and suffocating, making it hard to breathe.
He picked up Su Zai Zai’s bag from the chair and immediately followed her.
Su Zai Zai had a poor sense of direction. After leaving the restaurant, she turned left and walked forward with her head down.
It happened to be a street with heavy foot traffic. She pushed through the crowd, walking forward without a second thought.
Zhang Lu Rang quickly caught up, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her into his embrace.
She didn’t resist or speak.
Zhang Lu Rang placed his hand on the back of her head and whispered soothingly, "Don’t cry."
The crowd was too dense. Zhang Lu Rang hesitated for a moment before leading her back the way they came.
Su Zai Zai obediently followed behind him.
As soon as they reached a less crowded area, Su Zai Zai abruptly shook off his hand and walked to the roadside, ready to hail a taxi.
Zhang Lu Rang pulled her back again, his voice pleading, "Zai Zai…"
Su Zai Zai’s tears continued to fall, but her movements gradually slowed.
She remained quiet, as if waiting for his explanation.
Zhang Lu Rang reached out to wipe her tears, saying helplessly, "Don’t cry. How about we just graduate, okay? No need to wait two years… I…"
He just needed to work a little harder.
It didn’t matter if he didn’t have a good life, but he had to make sure she did.But Zhang Lurang's words did not cheer Su Zaizai up at all.
Su Zaizai sniffled, reached out with her other hand, and pulled his hand away.
Word by word, her voice thick with emotion.
"Zhang Lurang."
"Everything I made you do was forced."
Zhang Lurang's lips moved, but his explanation hadn't yet come out.
Before him, Su Zaizai covered her eyes with one hand and spoke again.
"If you're not willing to take the initiative, I'll do it. I don't mind."
"I know you can't handle these things, so I'll take care of everything. I really don't mind."
"But as time goes on, I don't know if what I'm doing is right anymore."
Tears streamed from between Su Zaizai's fingers.
Her voice was calm, as if nothing had happened, yet it was humble to the point of being trampled into the dust.
"I also wonder..."
She choked back a sob, "if you're actually unwilling at all."
Chapter 62
It turns out that a person's life can truly become so disoriented just because one person is missing—
just because that one person is gone.
—Zhang Lurang
Hearing her words, Zhang Lurang's pupils contracted, his expression bewildered and at a loss.
It was the first time he had seen Su Zaizai like this.
He didn't know where to start, didn't know what to do.
Zhang Lurang carefully grasped her wrist and pulled the hand away from her face.
Revealing those reddened eyes, filled with timidity and collapse.
His heart ached.
"How could I possibly be unwilling?" Zhang Lurang's Adam's apple bobbed, his tone low and heavy. "It's my fault for not doing well enough. I'll..."
Su Zaizai didn't let him finish, taking her bag from his hand.
Her head instinctively lowered as she wiped her eyes, interrupting him.
"You should go back."
Zhang Lurang still held her hand, stubbornly finishing, "I'll change in the future."
Suppressing her emotions, Su Zaizai's voice was thick with a nasal tone. "I don't want you to change. It's my own mindset that's not right. You should go back; you have work tomorrow."
The next moment, she pried his hand open and said softly, "I want to go back alone today."
Zhang Lurang's palm felt empty, and he instinctively clenched it in the air.
Su Zaizai glanced toward the road and flagged down a taxi.
She took two steps toward it, then quickly turned back to look at him.
Su Zaizai's expression had returned to calm, but her eyes were still red.
She seemed somewhat disappointed, her lips moving slightly.
The words that came out were icy, making him hesitate for a moment.
"Zhang Lurang, I don't like things that are forced."
After saying this, Su Zaizai got into the car.
Zhang Lurang silently memorized the taxi's license plate number.
He watched as the car started, moved forward, its red taillights growing farther and farther away.
Zhang Lurang snapped back to reality and walked back to the parking lot to get his car.
Sitting in the driver's seat, he stared blankly, the fear in his heart growing more intense.
Then, Zhang Lurang started the car and drove toward Z University.
The car couldn't enter the campus, so Zhang Lurang found a spot nearby to park.
He got out and ran toward the girls' dormitory, calling Su Zaizai as he ran.
Su Zaizai answered quickly but didn't speak.
Zhang Lurang gasped for breath, his eyes sore and painful, whether from the wind or something else.His footsteps gradually slowed to a stop as he asked softly, "Have you reached your dorm?"
Su Zai Zai gave a faint "Mm," her tone indifferent. "Almost."
A brief silence followed.
Zhang Lu Rang could hear the sound of a few girls laughing and footsteps climbing stairs from her end.
Only their shallow breaths remained on the line.
Zhang Lu Rang suddenly spoke up, saying, "I'm at Z University."
The other end remained quiet, completely unlike her usual lively and bright self.
The atmosphere grew heavy as a result.
Zhang Lu Rang lifted his foot again and continued walking forward.
His voice was fragile, as if it might shatter into pieces at any moment.
"Su Zai Zai, you can think of anything except breaking up."
OpenNovel