The silent alley was bathed in crimson by the lantern light. On the snow-covered ground, a horse lay whinnying in pain. Hearing the commotion, the servants from the Princess Residence hurried out to check on both the horse and the people.
They saw the princess cradled in the arms of Yan Erlang, who knelt in the snow. Her hair and robes were entirely dusted with snow, as if she had been dug out from a snowdrift.
Not daring to ask questions, the attendants quickly went to soothe the horse. It was only after quite some time that Fang Tong and the others arrived belatedly. Seeing that the princess had not fled in a distraught state on horseback but had instead returned to the residence, they breathed a quiet sigh of relief.
Yan Shang held Mu Wan Yao tightly against his chest, his heartbeat pounding so loudly she could hear it clearly. She blinked and lifted her head from his embrace.
Mu Wan Yao coughed a few times, choked by the snow, before Yan Shang finally regained his composure. He helped her to her feet, his arm encircling her back as he supported her in an almost embracing manner. Normally, Yan Shang would never show such intimacy toward Mu Wan Yao in public, but tonight was an exception, and the servants pretended not to notice.
His hand supporting her arm, his breath warm against the back of her ear, her hairpin seemed to brush against his lips.
In the frigid silence of the winter night, only his voice remained as gentle as ever: "Are you hurt anywhere? Does your hand ache? Was your leg pinned? Your Highness, take a few steps, will you?"
Mu Wan Yao had indeed fallen from the horse, her head and back aching from the impact. Yet, held securely in his arms, she leaned on his support and obediently took a few steps as he asked.
She swayed slightly.
Her voice was soft, almost plaintive: "My leg hurts."
He immediately knelt down to examine it. Mu Wan Yao looked down at him, watching as his hand reached toward the hem of her skirt before he seemed to recall the impropriety. He lifted his head to meet her gaze, her eyes dark and unreadable.
Her heart had been a barren wasteland, frozen and desolate, but seeing him like this, she couldn’t help but press her lips together, the corners of her eyes lifting slightly as she stole a glance at him.
Noticing her furtive look, Yan Shang flushed slightly. Rising, he continued to support her, guiding her toward the residence. "Shall we have the imperial physician take a look?" he suggested.
Mu Wan Yao shook her head. She did not wish to see anyone from the palace tonight. Worried that she might be truly injured, Yan Shang frowned, pondering how to persuade her to allow an examination. Suddenly, a cool touch brushed his forehead.
Mu Wan Yao reached out, her fingertip resting there. "Why aren’t you scolding me?" she asked.
Yan Shang kept his eyes on the path as he helped her up the steps. "Scold you for what?"
Mu Wan Yao lowered her head. "For riding so recklessly, for being distracted, for falling because of it, for making you worry so much. Why aren’t you angry? Why don’t you tell me how terrible my temper is, how little I consider others?"
Yan Shang looked at her, pausing for a moment before replying gently, "Your Highness is already in pain. Why would I add to it? You must have been deeply troubled. Would you like to tell me about it?"
Mu Wan Yao met his gaze, then slowly shook her head.
She did not want him to know about her past. She wished to remain pure and untarnished in his eyes.
Yan Shang fell silent for a moment before speaking softly, "Then I can only hope, with all my heart, that Your Highness will never have to suffer such distress again."
By then, they had entered the residence. Mu Wan Yao was unsure how severe her injuries were. Probably not too serious—she could still walk. And with Yan Shang supporting her, her attention had shifted entirely to the arm steadying her, to the cool warmth of his touch against her back.Mu Wan Yao wondered why his body was so cold—had he been standing outside in the heavy snow all this time? What was he doing out there?
With her head lowered, she didn’t even notice that her residence was adorned with lanterns everywhere.
She only heard him repeatedly addressing her as "Your Highness" in her ear. Feeling dejected, Mu Wan Yao said, "Why do you never call me 'Yao Yao' normally? Is it because I scolded you before and forbade you from calling me that, so you never did again?"
Yan Shang was taken aback for a moment before replying, "I’m afraid if I get used to it, I won’t be able to stop myself in public… and cause misunderstandings."
Mu Wan Yao tilted her head to look at him, her dark eyes fixed on his elegant and handsome face. "What misunderstandings? You don’t want your friends or colleagues to know about our relationship?"
Yan Shang looked at her and, after a long pause, said, "...It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s that you don’t want to."
Mu Wan Yao was startled, then lowered her gaze, thinking to herself, So that’s how it is.
She was so awful.
Yan Shang gently patted her back twice, as if he knew what she was thinking, and said softly, "Your Highness, don’t blame yourself. It’s fine whenever you figure things out. I will wait for you and won’t leave you."
Mu Wan Yao kept her head down and remained silent.
Yan Shang could see she was in low spirits and wondered what had happened in the palace. He wasn’t overly anxious; even if Mu Wan Yao didn’t tell him, he would find out by tomorrow. The most important thing now was to make her feel better.
Yet he felt at a loss, wondering how he could comfort her.
In his nineteen years of life, his most extensive experience with girls was with his younger sister, Yan Xiaozhou. When they were young, their family traveled all over Jiangnan. Later, when their mother’s health declined and their father took care of her, it fell to him to care for his little sister.
He would comb her hair, tell her stories, sing songs, share jokes, and carry her on his back through the mountains.
But Yan Xiaozhou was different from Mu Wan Yao. Yan Xiaozhou was pure and obedient, never resisting or contradicting him, never deliberately opposing him… Mu Wan Yao was different.
As these thoughts crossed his mind, he heard Mu Wan Yao whisper, "Can you always be this good to me?"
Yan Shang was momentarily stunned, feeling an inexplicable pang of sorrow in his heart. He said, "This is nothing much."
Mu Wan Yao looked up at him and was surprised to see a hint of guilt in his eyes. She didn’t understand what he had to feel guilty about… Did he think he wasn’t good enough to her?
She stared at him blankly for a long time, her eyes slightly reddening, then suddenly stopped walking. She showed her first smile of the evening, spreading her arms to hug him tightly. She sighed, "Second Brother Yan, you’re so cold."
Yan Shang said quietly, "Because I’ve been standing outside for too long… How about we hug again once we’re inside?"
Mu Wan Yao ignored him. Standing on the lakeside corridor, she wrapped her arms around his waist, burying herself in his embrace. She looked up into his downturned eyes and whispered, "You can tell, right? I’m in a bad mood."
Yan Shang smiled, reaching out to brush away a few strands of hair from her face and the snowmelt from her eyelashes. "Yao Yao is so well-behaved, not even throwing a tantrum."
Mu Wan Yao said, "It’s only because it’s you that I didn’t lose my temper. If it had been anyone else trying to pull me along earlier, I would’ve been furious, and no one in the residence would’ve slept tonight."
Yan Shang replied, "How could that be? I live right next door. If the Princess Residence were to make a commotion all night, someone would surely come and tell me."He blushed slightly and said, "Didn't you say you wouldn't be angry once you saw me? I came to visit you."
Mu Wan Yao: "Will you always come to visit me?"
Yan Shang gazed at her for a long moment before saying, "I can't promise for certain, but I'll do my best."
Mu Wan Yao couldn't help but laugh. "I wasn't asking you to swear an oath. Why are you being so serious, even taking time to think about it? Second Brother Yan, you're really adorable. You actually took my playful words seriously."
Yan Shang was momentarily stunned, then smiled sheepishly. He lowered his lashes—so long they resembled brushes.
His face was handsome, yet it couldn't compare to the beauty of his demeanor.
He continued holding her, allowing her to wrap her arms around his waist. As he looked down with this gentle smile, Mu Wan Yao felt as if all the gloom in her heart could be dispelled by him.
Staring at him, Mu Wan Yao murmured, "You're so adorable, I really want to kiss you."
He turned his head slightly, somewhat uncomfortable. "Would... kissing me make you feel better?"
Mu Wan Yao nodded.
Yan Shang then lifted his gaze to her, not showing any resistance.
Seeing his tacit consent, Mu Wan Yao leaned in. Warmth flowed between them, the air slightly damp, and snowflakes settled clearly on his faintly red lips. But just as their lips were about to meet, she remembered something and sighed. "I can't kiss you."
Yan Shang was taken aback.
Then he asked, "Why?"
Mu Wan Yao: "I drank a lot of wine tonight. If I kiss you, you'll feel unwell and might collapse again."
Yan Shang let out a soft "ah," lowering his eyes with a hint of frustration. He seemed hesitant, but by then, Mu Wan Yao had already pulled away from his embrace and started walking alone. Yan Shang quickly caught up with her, and they entered the inner residence, hearing the commotion within the estate.
Mu Wan Yao noticed the servants erecting a pole in the courtyard, with maids hanging banners on it. She stood outside the moon gate, watching blankly for a while before Yan Shang, who had been following her, explained, "It's the custom on New Year's Eve to set up a pole and hang banners, praying for peace and longevity in the coming year. We have this tradition in Lingnan. Your Highness didn't know?"
Mu Wan Yao shook her head in confusion.
Then it dawned on her. She turned to look at Yan Shang behind her, her heart stirring. "Speaking of which, it just occurred to me—it must be midnight by now, right? Why were you at the alley entrance, and why did you follow me all the way here? What are you up to?"
Yan Shang was stunned.
Her bewilderment made him equally confused. "...To stay up for the New Year. What else would I be doing?"
Mu Wan Yao: "..."
She had overthought it again.
She had assumed he came to find her in the middle of the night... Yan Shang studied her, and just as he seemed about to guess what she was thinking, Mu Wan Yao felt a flicker of annoyance, realizing how impure her thoughts seemed in front of him. She coughed heavily to redirect his attention. "So, this banner-hanging in my estate—was it all your idea? Don't you find it troublesome?"
Yan Shang said, "Because I wanted to stay up with Your Highness for the New Year. Is that not allowed?"
Mu Wan Yao was taken aback for a moment, then said, "...It's allowed."
Then she touched her cheek and, unable to resist, glanced at him sideways, repeating, "You're really adorable."
As she said this, Mu Wan Yao took a few more steps into the main hall and unexpectedly saw Wei Shu's figure. Thinking she was mistaken, she noticed Wei Shu standing under a lantern tree, watching the servants make preparations. The servants greeted the princess, and Wei Shu also turned around, his demeanor cool and composed.
Wei Shu: "Your Highness, you're back?"Mu Wan Yao smiled at him before turning her gaze to Yan Shang.
Yan Shang explained, "...I was afraid you wouldn't want to spend the evening with me, so I invited Ju Yuan. Don't you like Ju Yuan quite a bit?"
Mu Wan Yao: "..."
Mu Wan Yao said, "I take back what I said earlier. You've become less endearing."
Before Yan Shang could understand why she was being so changeable, Mu Wan Yao had already walked toward the young boy Wei Shu standing beneath the lantern tree in the inner hall. Seeing the boy shining like fiery blossoms against the silver branches under the tree, Mu Wan Yao turned back to look at Yan Shang, who stood like an elegant jade tree beneath the moon gate.
Snowflakes drifted between heaven and earth.
Yet Mu Wan Yao's heart gradually warmed.
She thought, what did the chill of that palace banquet matter? When she returned to her residence, Yan Shang and Wei Shu were waiting for her.
This mortal world wasn't always cold—
Mu Wan Yao had actually been tense throughout the palace banquet, worried someone might disrupt the proceedings, so she only drank and barely ate.
Back in her own residence, she sat with Wei Shu and Yan Shang in the inner hall to observe the New Year's vigil. Naturally, the servants brought fruits, nuts, and pastries. However, Mu Wan Yao wasn't in the mood to eat anything at the moment. Instead, she urged Wei Shu to eat more, saying he was still young and needed to grow.
Meanwhile, Yan Shang sat on the other side, telling Mu Wan Yao and Wei Shu about New Year customs in the Lingnan region.
Mu Wan Yao and Wei Shu sat side by side, listening to Yan Shang's stories. Mu Wan Yao rested her chin in her hands, not hiding her curiosity, while Wei Shu's gaze remained cool as he tried to conceal his curiosity... The way they looked at him made Yan Shang feel awkward several times, yet also amused.
Yan Shang coughed.
Mu Wan Yao grew impatient: "Cough, cough, cough—how many times have you coughed while telling a story? Can you control it?"
Yan Shang: "My apologies."
Wei Shu said softly: "Your Highness, don't be so harsh with Second Brother Yan..."
Mu Wan Yao smiled at Wei Shu, her voice softening: "It's alright, I won't be harsh with you. Don't be afraid."
Wei Shu glanced at her, wanting to say that he had grown up and wasn't afraid anymore. But instead, he said: "Your Highness, if you have any difficulties, you can let me help."
Mu Wan Yao was taken aback, guessing that Wei Shu, with his keen perception, had noticed she was somewhat unhappy tonight. She gave an embarrassed smile and brushed it off—
The hall was filled with lantern light as they continued chatting idly. When explosions sounded outside, all three were startled, realizing the new year had arrived.
Mu Wan Yao, Wei Shu, and Yan Shang looked at one another, then she and Wei Shu both turned their gaze to Yan Shang.
Yan Shang: "..."
Yan Shang had no choice but to say: "We should also 'explode bamboo poles'."
Exploding bamboo poles involved burning a long bamboo pole section by section to create cracking sounds. Amidst these deafening noises, they would drive away plague spirits and welcome the new year.
Mu Wan Yao suddenly understood and quickly instructed her maids to arrange it. When the crackling sounds of bamboo poles erupted in the courtyard, Mu Wan Yao was startled and flinched. The next moment, Yan Shang reached out and covered her ears, blocking out the noise.
Mu Wan Yao looked up at Yan Shang in a daze, her clear eyes fixed on him.
Wei Shu also turned to him: "Second Brother Yan?"
Yan Shang felt his face grow warm under their gazes. He lowered his hands and said, "I was just standing rather close to Your Highness."
Mu Wan Yao also blushed. Meeting Wei Shu's eyes, she put on a stern face and said: "What are you looking at? The vigil is over, shouldn't we go to sleep now? Xiarong, quickly take Ju Yuan to wash up."Wei Shu was quickly led away, and Mu Wan Yao also rose, intending to return to her room to sleep. She had already stayed up to see the New Year in, and troublesome matters could wait until she woke up tomorrow.
She paid no attention to Yan Shang, but as she stood up, he rose along with her. When she tried to leave, he grabbed her hand from behind, spun her around to face him, and leaned in, his lips brushing lightly against hers.
Mu Wan Yao’s eyes widened in shock, momentarily thinking he meant to force something on her. She took a step back, leaning against the corridor pillar.
Yan Shang stepped forward, one hand resting on her shoulder, the other cupping her face. He looked down at her, his gaze clear, like starlight scattered across a tranquil lake.
He leaned in to kiss her again, capturing her lips and pressing against her teeth.
A shiver ran through Mu Wan Yao’s entire body. Her hands flew to his shoulders, intending to push him away. She tried to resist, murmuring, "No, no... I’ve been drinking. You can’t kiss me. You won’t be able to handle it."
Yan Shang glanced up at her and said, "Then we’ll make the most of our time."
He grasped her wrist and pressed another kiss to the inside of it. Mu Wan Yao flinched, feeling as if her whole body might leap from that single touch. His tenderness made her tremble, her cheeks flushed, and she shied away nervously.
Yan Shang looked at her and said, "Didn’t you say that a kiss would make you feel better? I want to lift your spirits."
He hesitated, biting his lip. "Sister Yao Yao."
Mu Wan Yao abruptly gave up her struggle, staring blankly at the man who had called her "Sister Yao Yao." He leaned close to her chin and kissed her lips again. The space between lips and teeth, the sensation of sweetness and warmth. The icy fortress in her heart melted away layer by layer, and flower buds hidden beneath the snow timidly emerged.
He kissed her again and again.
Mu Wan Yao’s eyes gradually welled up like flowing water.
Snowflakes drifted behind them as she seemed to lose all strength, held in his embrace and kissed. She closed her eyes, never before feeling that a kiss could be like this—something that made her soul tremble and rejoice alongside her body.
She wanted to merge her spirit with his.
She wanted to cling to him until death.
His warm breath brushed against her face, close to her ear. In her daze, Mu Wan Yao, with her eyes closed, felt him speaking softly into her ear. His lips grazed her earlobe, and she blushed furiously, her entire body trembling so much she nearly collapsed, barely holding herself together.
It took Mu Wan Yao a moment to steady herself before she could make out his faint, murmured words.
Yan Shang was clearly heavily intoxicated. Pressed against her ear, his speech was already somewhat fragmented: "Yao Yao, you... you said last time that you like me more than I like you... I... I was very upset to hear that.
"I may not be as passionate as you, and I might never be as passionate as you in my entire life. But I am sincere, I... I have always been sincere.
"I’ve been wanting to explain to you, but I couldn’t find the chance, couldn’t find a reason. Yao Yao, you know, I am someone who... especially, especially likes to torment myself.
"Zhao... Zhao Wuniang... was merely an excuse for me to come to you. It was I who abandoned self-reflection and willingly sank into indulgence.
"I’ve thought it over and over, tangled in countless worries. I remind myself every day not to indulge, force myself to reflect constantly. I... I’m not like you. For me, just coming to you, deciding to come to you... is the most indulgent thing I’ve ever allowed myself."
Mu Wan Yao was stunned, opening her eyes to look at him.He had already closed his eyes, his head resting against her shoulder, most of his weight pressing down on her. Mu Wan Yao certainly couldn’t bear his weight. She wrapped her arms around him, sliding down along the pillar to sit, cradling the already drunken Yan Shang in her arms.
Tears in her eyes fell intermittently, as if they could not be held back.
When she left the Black Barbarians, she had told herself never to cry again, never to shed tears again. How weak, how pitiful that would be.
...But she truly couldn’t hold back—
Snow swirled through the sky.
The young woman sat leaning against the pillar, holding her beloved in her arms, choked with sobs, unable to speak—
What had she done right to meet such a person, to receive such a wonderful life?
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